RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results

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becca333 -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 6:25:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat Some things for women to consider in their profiles... 1: How many ex husbands you have. ( any restraining orders needed? Do they own firearms? How many? ) 2: How many children you have from them and others. ( if you consider this an unimportant detail, I would wonder about your grasp of reality. ) 3: What city you live in. ( I do not have a private jet to commute. I have a job and life I have to attend to. If I am such a warm loving caring guy, I might want to see you now and then. ) 4: Are you really submissive? Or just casting that lure? ( submission may get the target what they want, ( for a while )but not what you really want. ) 5: If you are " new to this ". Are you also looking for a 24/7, lifetime, soulmate in this? ( Just one of them is hard enough for the " lifestylers" ) 6: If you just want sexy email, just say so. 7: Be brutally honest in what/who you don't want. It isn't really brutal. It saves time and effort for all. If you are a material girl, state the wage range and disposable income to be disposed on you. How tall or short you want. ( shhhh....how short and thin you will accept ) How old is too old? Or too young? subs have standards too. I appreciate a profile that lets Me know to not bother. 8: Tell what you like/dislike in the kink/sex department. In great detail. Talk dirty. Oooooooo yeah......I like that.... :) ...And they say romance is dead.

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 6:33:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 ...And they say romance is dead. If its romance you want, isn't eHarmony the place you should be?

cillydom -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 6:34:57 AM)
HEAR HEAR!!!!! In my opinion a great part of the problem is unrealistic expectations by, especially newbe subbies about what a dom really is. The subbies think that they can demand a particular form of approach and have a form letter filled out correctly. It seems more like they are interviewing for a mid level bureaucrat than a dom. It seems to me they should try to find out what a dom is and what he may expect of them. Probably if they did many would not want to have anything to do with those mean, demanding, self-centered assholes. The subbies seem to not understand that doms have their own list of what they want and I bet not one lists “ I approach subbies as instructed”. I am very specific in my profile about what I want and I don’t want to have to recreate it numerous times to subbies that say they don’t want cut and paste letters, they want it written specially for them. Trying to find some one is like panning for gold, you have to sift through a lot of mud to find it, I don’t know of any other way. Subbies seem to think that their perfect dom will somehow zero in on them as if by magic and write a complete romance novel letter that will sweep them off their feet into nirvana. Sorry ladies it seldom happens that way, you too have to make an effort to find and or be found and it wont be easy. Many, male and female have over romanticized the lifestyle out of all sense of reality and would not be willing to walk the real road of d/s. It’s not an easy path to follow for dom or subbies. But for those of us that are willing it’s a need to and not a want to. I could go on and on but by now you should have the idea.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 6:38:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver If its romance you want, isn't eHarmony the place you should be? Is this a new collarme rule to separate kinky play and romance, or your own divine pronouncement? M

becca333 -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 6:45:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 ...And they say romance is dead. If its romance you want, isn't eHarmony the place you should be? This isn't it? Ohhh no don't tell me I'm in the wrong place!

becca333 -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 6:49:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cillydom HEAR HEAR!!!!! In my opinion a great part of the problem is unrealistic expectations by, especially newbe subbies about what a dom really is. The subbies think that they can demand a particular form of approach and have a form letter filled out correctly. It seems more like they are interviewing for a mid level bureaucrat than a dom. It seems to me they should try to find out what a dom is and what he may expect of them. Probably if they did many would not want to have anything to do with those mean, demanding, self-centered assholes. The subbies seem to not understand that doms have their own list of what they want and I bet not one lists “ I approach subbies as instructed”. Possibly not, but "I respect limits" would be pretty important. It'd be interesting if profiles listed the actual experience of each person - some 'Doms' have had a rich full life inside their own heads, without ever actually touching a real sub.

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:11:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver If its romance you want, isn't eHarmony the place you should be? Is this a new collarme rule to separate kinky play and romance, or your own divine pronouncement? M Just an observation. I don't see so many men wanting romance, they seem to be here for kink, romance seeming to be mainly a female thing that men seem to go along with to have their wicked way. A man will get nowhere if he is honest which is why I'm always amused by the mantras of honesty but this harks to another thread. As for myself, I'm not here to meet anyone so I don't care. Like I said, just an observation.

RavenMuse -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:14:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver A man will get nowhere if he is honest which is why I'm always amused by the mantras of honesty but this harks to another thread. Speak for yourself.... maybe I'm in the minority in looking for something more serious and longer term, maybe I'm in the minority for being honest about it.... but I damn near found it last time.... and pretty sure I will at some point.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:19:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver Just an observation. I don't see so many men wanting romance, they seem to be here for kink, romance seeming to be mainly a female thing that men seem to go along with to have their wicked way. A man will get nowhere if he is honest which is why I'm always amused by the mantras of honesty but this harks to another thread. Like I said, just an observation. Are you deliberately trying to portray all men as relationship challenged penises? I have met and been romanced by submissive men on this very site FYI. Just because you may not be looking for it doesn't mean you represent what all men here seek or are afraid of. I didn't respond on the other thread because your statements were gross generalizations of your own feelings projected onto all other men which is about as valid as your announcing here you are the reincarnation of the divine one. M

Chaingang -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:37:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allspicey I stated, and still stand by, that there are more men interested in pursuing some kind of BDSM activity at some level than there are women. Any profile site will tell you that the number of male profiles far outweigh the number of female ones. On the subject in real life, many clubs have policies against single men entering because the ratios get so out of kilter and the women get harassed. They try to keep the numbers balanced by only allowing in a small proportion of men without partners. Interestingly, you have actually further supported my point about HNG except you are now also talking about the real life equivalents. Basically it's this - men are very interested in sex and are traditionally raised to be more outgoing about their desires than are women. So are there more men than women who outwardly manifest a keen interest in sex? You bet there are. That has nothing to do with what you are discussing on THIS site. If you wish to suddenly tell me that your OP is directed at HNGs, then I have nothing left to say - if you think you are addressing the male Doms here I think you would do well to skip it because I think we know how to get what we want. In the main it's no secret, we get what we want because of who we are: we dogs spread our scent about and the bitches come around offering themselves in display - they know who we are by our words and the reality we are able to convey. Many people are attracted to this site and sex clubs who aren't actually prepared to deliver the goods - either as submissives or as Doms. I figure the vast majority of people are time wasters, and that's just the way it is. Cock pictures? I am not the sort of person that sends strangers picture of my penis - wtf? You are lumping in the good men with the bad and acting as if they were all of a kind when they are not. They say it is useless to cast pearls before swine.

Bluetemptation -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:42:04 AM)
quote: What a load of crap. I see tons of the same things in females profiles. A few of the tips sound like encouragement to lie or obscure. I hope that profiles don't devolve to the level of " professional resumes ". I so seldom hear women ripping other women about their pussy shots, but there are many on such sites. And why should I spend a huge effort on an email that likely gets no reply? I drop a quick note, sometimes with something pertinant to their profile that struck me particularly( if they said much of anything in it ), and say to feel free to drop a quick reply. Occasionally a womans profile is inspiring enough for me to write more, and I do. Tit for Tat. I do state quite clearly in My profile about sexual submission. I don't consider that a minor detail that we can get around to after I might have hooked you. Some consider sex and BDSM to be quite separate, I don't, so I state it clearly. Maybe another reason that serious profiles, male or female get little response, is the number of cyber masturbators on line, with no intention to get real. No one says you should lie or obscure, but actually you shouldn't start of the wrong foot with showing your worst (pictures, habits whatever) first and foremost. Sure a submissive should act submissive to doms she or he is writing with out of curtsey and whatnot, but someone who states in his profile, things like 'kneel down slave, kiss my picture and send me your adress ' or some other weird comments won't get nice mails, subs are not doormats and doms who think all subs have to love them or obey them well they are more often than not posers who do not understand that submission is a gift, not a given thing - you have to earn it in a way, and stupidity won't earn you anything. But to be sure, I don't know why you thought those tips were bad, your profile is one of the few profiles that really catch a persons interest - I mean you really tell what you want, you are specific, you list your likes, dislikes and all that, and you sound interesting in a way. So nothing of her list would really be against you

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:48:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig I didn't respond on the other thread because your statements were gross generalizations of your own feelings projected onto all other men which is about as valid as your announcing here you are the reincarnation of the divine one. M It seems to me you are the one claiming divinity and the ability to read people's minds. But if one has to write anodine posts, what is the point of writing a post in the first place? My guess is that men romance women for one thing and one thing only or maybe two, chidren. One has friends for companionship which doesn't necessarily mean just male friends.

becca333 -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:52:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig I didn't respond on the other thread because your statements were gross generalizations of your own feelings projected onto all other men which is about as valid as your announcing here you are the reincarnation of the divine one. M It seems to me you are the one claiming divinity and the ability to read people's minds. But if one has to write anodine posts, what is the point of writing a post in the first place? My guess is that men romance women for one thing and one thing only or maybe two, chidren. One has friends for companionship which doesn't necessarily mean just male friends. I'd suggest you get a dog, they're less judgemental.

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:55:26 AM)
Why should I do that when I've got a woman?

becca333 -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 7:57:33 AM)
Yes, it's amazing what they can do with inflatables these days, isn't it.

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 8:00:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Yes, it's amazing what they can do with inflatables these days, isn't it. Back to being serious. Pray tell me why a man would invest time and effort in romancing a woman if it is not to get into her pants and/or procreate?

Chaingang -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 8:00:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 1: How many ex husbands you have. ( any restraining orders needed? Do they own firearms? How many? ) Hell, it might be relevant to know if they are married right now! One cannot serve two masters. quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 2: How many children you have from them and others. ( if you consider this an unimportant detail, I would wonder about your grasp of reality. ) Often women will tell you that their children come first. I agree with that assessment. I also think that one cannot have two masters: you serve your children or you serve me. You can't mix me with water and get instant daddy. quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 4: Are you really submissive? Or just casting that lure? ( submission may get the target what they want, ( for a while )but not what you really want. ) Well, this is the usual "are you real or a time waster" thing. I well understand how things could be so much simpler if the wannabes would just say they were jerk offs to begin with. quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 5: If you are " new to this ". Are you also looking for a 24/7, lifetime, soulmate in this? ( Just one of them is hard enough for the " lifestylers" ) People who are new to this cannot possibly know in reality. A more pertinent question might be do they wish to be guided down a particular path. There are pluses and minuses in training a novice: nothing to unlearn, risk of bolting, etc. quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 6: If you just want sexy email, just say so. In the time waster category. If all they want is sexy email they are probably just a fake. Fake or not, I am not the sexy email guy at all. quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 7: Be brutally honest in what/who you don't want. It isn't really brutal. It saves time and effort for all. If you are a material girl, state the wage range and disposable income to be disposed on you. How tall or short you want. ( shhhh....how short and thin you will accept ) How old is too old? Or too young? subs have standards too. I appreciate a profile that lets Me know to not bother. Most people are absolutely not suited to or even able to do 24/7 so my income is irrelevant as they will have to fend for themselves. I am no one's economic savior. I have yet to meet the woman whose pussy is worth more than "free." If a man is willing to play this prostitution game then I have to wonder what he is demanding return or how little else he has to offer beyond cash. Material girl? What a laugh! Why not just find a nice financial domination Domme? A lot of the rest of that seems shallow to me, so I would stick to absolute essentials - things that are either a must or a must not. I think beauty comes in all kinds of packages. quote: ORIGINAL: Kedikat 8: Tell what you like/dislike in the kink/sex department. In great detail. Talk dirty. Oooooooo yeah......I like that.... A laundry list is something I really don't care about up front. I often claim that I am no one's facilitator and I stick to that statement. If anything I would see that entirely reversed: a submissive is my facilitator. Words that might never escape my lips in relation to a submissive: "Am I doing this right?"

cloudboy -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 8:05:08 AM)
Dynacism is man's greatest ally, and no matter how he constructs his profile, it will never lead him to being chosen. Only his actions do that.

Chaingang -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 8:06:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver Pray tell me why a man would invest time and effort in romancing a woman if it is not to get into her pants and/or procreate? I'm the first to allow that there is a strong genetic motivator at work in human relations, but at the same time that's not all that we are as human beings. To my knowledge I have never fucked to create a child. So since I am so busy thwarting nature's procreative scheme let me also state that I might want to relate to a woman purely as a person. I have a way I wish to do that, but it's not strictly motivated by genetic impulses. Life is not about fucking. Fucking is a component of life. Can't you distinguish the part from the whole?

cloudboy -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 8:07:40 AM)
God, reading your reply here I realize that being with you must be like working on a chaingang.

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