aromanholiday
Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Awareness
It's immensely irritating that your profile is unviewable, because I wanted to privately compliment you on such a considered and articulate response.
I interact with a sub in another city whose major struggle over the past year or so has been reconciling her discovery of her submissive nature with the idealistic notions of self-determination inculcated into her by her mother. I say idealistic, because they don't represent strict feminist dogma, but more the idea that a woman should be financially independent and make her own choices. I should point out that her parents are still together after a long and successful marriage, and from what I can tell there's no hint of rancor between them.
This internal struggle very recently took another turn when I brought out her extreme slave tendencies and while she enjoyed it at the time, after the fact, she became quite terrified at the thought of her inner desires somehow having betrayed her mother's ideology.
I then explained the differences between subs and slaves, 24/7, inside the home and inside the bedroom as varying levels of the lifestyles people could lead. She was fascinated.
Point is, the conflict between the relatively benign feminist ideology of her mother and her submissive/slave self has caused her considerable angst. Was she host to some of the more militant brands of feminism, it seems likely the conflict would be extreme. In short, it seems clear from both a theoretical and practical sense that militant feminist ideology and submission cannot co-exist. Certainly a feminist slave, seems to me to be a clear-cut contradiction in terms. "Ownership" would seem to negate the alleged preference for self-determination.
I think the most practical fusion I've seen is the independent woman who makes her way in the world but is happy to submit to a man who she can look up to. Many of them seem to enjoy the 1950's household style of dynamic. And usually the type of men they're looking for are of a fairly high standard in many respects.
Thank you.
The profile's state is irritating to me, too. It is unhidden but apparently bugged so that no one can see it. I can be emailed, it appears. I've received some mail in response to my forum posts. I don't know how I was emailed, apparently there's some way to do it. But it's probably just as well you didn't send mail. Concerning private communications, I've taken a vow of silence for personal reasons, and had you emailed me, you may have found it rude when I did not respond.
I largely agree with what you've said above, it is my view as well, although I'm interested in hearing about how others do this sort of inner reconciliation of submission with feminism. There was a time when I thought similarly (that I could be a feminist and a slave at the same time). Ironically, the reason I thought this is because my master thought it and spoke to me about it, and it goes without saying that anything he thought became my gospel truth. It was only many years later, when I recovered a little ability to think critically about that relationship (this doesn't come easy, even after six years) that I began to wonder about how someone could be enslaved and also be a feminist. It was very hard to admit, but I now believe I was not fully enslaved in that relationship. It came close to that...but, as my former master used to say about other close things, "no cigar."
"Point is, the conflict between the relatively benign feminist ideology of her mother and her submissive/slave self has caused her considerable angst. Was she host to some of the more militant brands of feminism, it seems likely the conflict would be extreme. "
That's really interesting. I have observed similar conflicts in feminist-identified women who discovered they have submissive needs, although, as you said, if those needs do not extend to slavery, then they can often find a situation that works well for them: that allows them to keep their ideology while also meeting sexual/emotional needs. But if their needs do extend to slavery, then either the conflict must be faced and worked through or they may find themselves confusing/obfuscating the issue somehow, as I once did. Those may not be the only two options, but I have yet to see evidence of others.
_____________________________
"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"
My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.
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RE: Rip-Roaring Feminist Jane Fonda Admits She's Been a... - 
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