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aromanholiday -> RE: Arrogance (5/16/2011 8:10:36 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kana
So here's a tangential question.
Do folks think that one needs to be arrogant to be a Dom/ Domme?
Personally, I think a little arrogance is required, if for nothing else, to possess the chutzpah to own another human being and be certain that you can run their life well.
I think people who own other people are naturally arrogant, and if they're successful at what they do, it's arrogance backed by substance, and that's perfectly fine with me. That sort of arrogance is truthful: the person is arrogant because there is something there to be arrogant about. Arrogance that is a hollow act, that isn't backed up with any ability, is a lie, and I find that lie repugnant. It tries to confuse form or style with essence. There is nothing about arrogance itself I find offputting; if I'm interested in an arrogant person, I just quietly go about finding out what is behind it, if anything, and that discovery then informs my opinions.
I've read some funny folk stories from other cultures which play around with the idea of arrogance. In one there might be a very arrogant and also a very generous king. It's interesting when those two traits are combined in one person. In the stories, someone in dire need who has heard about the king's generosity goes to beg from the king and the king doesn't even look at him, just brushes by him in a hurry, without a single glance or indication he heard his pleas. Or maybe he even has the guards throw the beggar off the grounds. The beggar's ego is deeply hurt and affronted by this treatment and he is dejected by his perceived failure and so he goes around calling the king bad names and trying to sully his reputation, telling others how poorly he was treated. And then the next morning he is deeply surprised to find he's been given a king's ransom in jewels or some other exorbitant treasure. Sometimes in these stories the beggar is quite grateful and also ashamed of the way he jumped to conclusions and the badmouthing that followed from it. Other times he remains infuriated and insulted by the arrogance of the king and the latter's refusal to acknowledge him. In the latter case, you have to wonder about ego and motives: his stated purpose for begging was to find a way out of his financial difficulties, but while that was his true and urgent need, he acts as if what he was really after was attention from a great man. What you never see in these stories is a beggar who just quietly and peacefully accepts being ignored or kicked out of the king's presence and waits around to see if anything else will happen.
The case of the badmouther, however, makes me wonder: if someone gave me what I most wanted or needed, but seemed impossibly arrogant about it or didn't give me the quality or amount of attention that I thought I deserved along with getting my need met, would I then angrily resent their "snub" or badmouth them? I don't think I would because I admire substantiated arrogance, but one never knows about what if's until faced with the actual situation. I hope I never do this. If I did, I would know inside (whether anybody else did or not) that I didn't deserve to be called a slave.
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