RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (Full Version)

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SternSkipper -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 1:46:52 PM)

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ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I hope it is nice and sunny here, otherwise.


We're lookin' at sunny and 85 here...

If anybody goes missing, I'll let ya know. I figure we'll both still be here.

K.


This thread alone guarantees me getting passed over.... Unless maybe there's entertainment offered on the flights. But with my luck they'll just be running an in flight movie like "Eat, Pray, Kiss your Ass Goodbye"





CoyoteMan -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 1:47:03 PM)

Let's see. I think I am ready. But I forgot my backpak full of goodies.



LaTigresse -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 1:56:07 PM)

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ORIGINAL: Marc2b

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It'll be just our fucking luck if something DOES happen on Saturday.


The bad news: the world will end one day which means one of these loony tune perdictions will, by chance, appear to have come true.

The good news: we wont' be here and so won't have to listen to the dinks crowing about how they were right.



I can see it now.......little dink vapours floating about......"Motherfucker! We were right. I was kinda hoping...."



SternSkipper -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 5:05:42 PM)

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I can see it now.......little dink vapours floating about......"Motherfucker! We were right. I was kinda hoping...."



Well more good news La Tigresse...  1) That PILL Stephen Hawking will be proven wrong about the afterlife should your prediction be true (in your corner on that one).. If we dink vapour.. we knew we made it across. 2) We're fucking all BDSM people... it'll be maybe an hour before we figure out to put the hurt on the motherfuckers[8D]



SternSkipper -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 5:09:24 PM)

quote:

The bad news: the world will end one day which means one of these loony tune perdictions will, by chance, appear to have come true.

The good news: we wont' be here and so won't have to listen to the dinks crowing about how they were right.


Oh bullshit... you're coveting your own prediction and just gonna play things close to the chest.
[:)]



SternSkipper -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 5:20:37 PM)

quote:

quote:
It'll be just our fucking luck if something DOES happen on Saturday.
The bad news: the world will end one day which means one of these loony tune perdictions will, by chance, appear to have come true.
The good news: we wont' be here and so won't have to listen to the dinks crowing about how they were right.


Folks, in light of all these nay-sayers jumping on board  (marc has a site selling weapons to fight off the Insane Religious Fanatics who trashed all their shit and donated their houses to charity when they find out they were fucked over... So of course it's in his best interest to convince you early nothing will happen),
  But i am gonna go out on a limb here and not ONLY will I guarantee these products to work on Saturday. I will also guarantee them to work at the time of the NEXT predicted apocalypse or pochiclipse if you're Austrailian.
  Where else are you gonna get an offer like that?
By the way, Mr. Sheen says the sales are going well but we could use some butane lighters and test tubes.





Hillwilliam -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 7:19:07 PM)

The world can't end Saturday. I just got a spool of new RIO fly line and I'm going fishing sunday.



TheHeretic -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 7:59:41 PM)


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ORIGINAL: xssve

Only three more shopping days till the Apocolypse!



Nope. The shopping starts right after. Some of those Christians who'll be called up to meet Jesus in the clouds have some nice stuff in their houses. They won't be needing it.



Musicmystery -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 8:17:32 PM)


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ORIGINAL: TheHeretic
quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Only three more shopping days till the Apocolypse!

Nope. The shopping starts right after. Some of those Christians who'll be called up to meet Jesus in the clouds have some nice stuff in their houses. They won't be needing it.

Let's go get ours! Saddle up!

[image]http://www.abcgallery.com/D/durer/durer5.jpg[/image]




TheHeretic -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 8:28:24 PM)

You're way too old school to roll with my crew, Muse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5ogOH82Aw



Musicmystery -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 9:06:37 PM)

Me? Old School?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcssdk_blondie-rapture_music

[:D]



heartcream -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 9:40:08 PM)

God is not dumb but He has a process and has also made mistakes. We are alike like in that and sometimes it takes a long time to how to effect a helpful change even if the problem is blatantly obvious.



tweakabelle -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/18/2011 11:00:51 PM)

Can I nominate this for "Thread of the Millennia (past, present and post-Rapture)" please? [:D]

BTW my sister-in-law's great aunt (twice removed), a dedicated God-fearing Christian wummun is doing a nice line in clean-living 100% cotton whiter-than-white Rapture undies for those of you who, like me, have had their laundry plans have been interrupted by THE BIG EVENT. It's so not the DONE THING to arrive at the Pearly Gates with less-than-spotless undies ........ They WILL be checked yanno ....

I am so looking forward to meeting Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian in the NO SIN ZONE .....



Kirata -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 12:57:32 AM)


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ORIGINAL: tweakabelle

I am so looking forward to meeting Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian in the NO SIN ZONE .....

One of my favorite websites is Landover Baptist Church. If you've never seen it, pull it up. Chuckles galore! So when I went to "America's Best Christian" (Stewart, Colbert, Maher, et al) and noticed a link to the site's "Religious Truthiness" page, I clicked on it for some laughs. And I got'em alright.

The fourth item (as of that viewing) caught my eye: "The Dumb Index." It starts with a quote from Thomas Szasz ("If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”) and presents a list of the number of college graduates within each religious group in America.

The message there is hard to miss; intolerance, bigotry and fundamentalism are directly related to how much education one has.

Say what? The point of the piece was that those qualities are inversely related to how much education one has, not "directly" related. Duh. So much for the "education" (I use the term loosely) of whoever wrote it. Disappointing. But hey, I thought, give the page a chance. And since I don't have time to read all of it, I pull the slider down. Near the bottom my eye catches, "The New Improved Ten Commandments." I figure that should be good.

X. Thou shalt clean up any mess thy maketh.

Eh? Fail. That would be, "any mess thou maketh." Or if you're particularly enamored of the word "thy" then, "any mess of thy making." Well shit. Now they're zero for two on the "educated" scale. But wait, I'm a fair guy, and a short roll of the mouse wheel scrolls up, "Marx and Religion." That sounds like it has potential.

Communism failed because of the inherent greed and selfishness endemic in human nature. A few millennium earlier, another person tried addressing those same problems, he failed too and got nailed to a tree.

Fuck. Again? The word they want in that first sentence is inherent, not "endemic." And the second isn't even a sentence: It's a sentence-splice. You know, remember fucking grade school?

I mean hey, if you want to call people uneducated idiots, and you want it to be funny (or not funny) in the way you intend -- instead of funny in a different way -- there's one inescapable requirement. You have to not be an uneducated idiot yourself. Yanno? The whole trick with going to school is to remember what you were taught. Otherwise you might as well not have bothered.

So yeah, I got a laugh, thanks. Just not the one I was expecting.

K.



tweakabelle -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 1:31:55 AM)

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Kirata
So yeah, I got a laugh, thanks. Just not the one I was expecting.


OMG!!!!! Really Kirata!!!! I'm sooooo shocked!!!!!!

I can't believer you're a devotee of Landover Baptists (a fav site of mine too!) and not know the insanely fahhhhhbulous ever glamourous Mrs Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian!

She's right there on the Landover Baptist's home page - it's where she got her big break AFAIK. Just scroll down the list of links on the left and avert your gaze to the right when you get to Demonology. You can't miss her (in a frightfully pink twin set, simply divine pearls and immaculate hair as always)! Sending out the message of the RIGHTEOUS on the Facebook links - bringing the GOOD WORD to heartless heathens everywhere (as long as they're white, middle class and Amerikan). You simply have to check out her words of WISDOM to the godless and unSAVED. You will surely experience RAPTURE.

Surely Satan didn't steal your attention, diverting your eyes to minor pedantic errors when all that SIN! SIN! SIN! was shrieking at you. Is there no end to the deviousness of the DARK ONE I ask you?

Perhaps you ought to steel yourself with the GOOD BOOK and try again. Wear sunglasses to resist the devious lures and decadent temptations of the DARK ONE this time. Remember to bathe them in HOLY WATER first to resist TEMPTATION. It's everywhere .... everywhere! [:D] [:D]



GreedyTop -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 1:38:47 AM)

I am definitely laughing!!!



Kirata -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 2:12:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tweakabelle

I can't believer you're a devotee of Landover Baptists (a fav site of mine too!) and not know the insanely fahhhhhbulous ever glamourous Mrs Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian!

I'm not a "devotee" of the site, dahhhhhhhhling. And your Betty Bowers link didn't point to it. I just think it's an excellent parody that reflects intelligence and a droll sense of humor, unlike the kind of gratuitous bashing that some people engage in.

K.




rulemylife -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 3:36:55 AM)

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I just bought a tree I've been coveting. Do you think the tree will survive it?



You covet trees?

That's pretty perverted even for this site.



rulemylife -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 3:42:39 AM)

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ORIGINAL: heartcream

God is not dumb but He has a process and has also made mistakes.


God makes mistakes?

I thought he was infallible.

Oops, never mind, that's the Pope.



rulemylife -> RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Saturday... Don't Get Caught Unsaved (5/19/2011 3:55:59 AM)

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ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

The world can't end Saturday. I just got a spool of new RIO fly line and I'm going fishing sunday.


That's a good reason for the world to end.

The only thing more boring than fly fishing is listening to people talk about fly fishing.

I can't tell you how many times I've wished for the end time while listening to those conversations.



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