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Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is Sat... - 5/18/2011 7:27:50 AM

SternSkipper

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We here @ SavedByThebell, Inc KNOW that folks like us could be seriously fucked come Saturday, so in a self-less (Our CEO is a certified Sub/Doormat) ... We are now the exclusive distributors of a new line of exciting last minute salvation products that we guarantee you'll slip by those tight asses @ the Pearly Gates...
(warranty void if apocalypse does not occur on specified date / all sales final /products banned in Utah, Alabama, and Mississippi / some products present a choking hazard )

So what do ya say? Let's have a look at the catalog...

Post #: 1

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:30:36 AM

Lucylastic

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Theres a facebook page For Post Rapture Looting
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699
Im tempted,
If it happens Im off in this rather delightful raffia and rattan weave basket, with lotsa room if anyone wants to join the party

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

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Post #: 2

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:32:48 AM

SternSkipper

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First up is Bethlehem Lawn Manger.
This item is guaranteed to inflate by the time the Gnahing of teeth and Screaming reaches your yard... Guaranteed!

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Post #: 3

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:34:35 AM

Lucylastic

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oh sweet heaven, lol

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to SternSkipper)

Post #: 4

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:36:24 AM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
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jeez jerry, its good to see the drugs are just as good in the next life as they were in this one.

hannah lynn

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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Post #: 5

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:38:37 AM

SternSkipper

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You Say You RENT? Live in a Condo with an Association?
okay well then you need something a little more personal and portable.
Well we all know there is sure to be a line to get through Pearly gate customs.
And we have inside information from the folks putting up billboards that there will not only be lines, but they'll be handing out bracelets... And like any other morally questionable entrepreneurial enterprise,...

WE'VE GOT EM RIGHT HERE!!!!!!

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Post #: 6

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:39:52 AM

SternSkipper

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FUCK ... Woops

quote:

You Say You RENT? Live in a Condo with an Association?
okay well then you need something a little more personal and portable.
Well we all know there is sure to be a line to get through Pearly gate customs.
And we have inside information from the folks putting up billboards that there will not only be lines, but they'll be handing out bracelets... And like any other morally questionable entrepreneurial enterprise,...

WE'VE GOT EM RIGHT HERE!!!!!!

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Post #: 7

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:45:29 AM

SternSkipper

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Okay ,,, So you're Bad, but your neighbor is a fucking goodie two-shoes, maybe even the guy that's been planting all that TeaParty Horseshit in your head (heh ... now that the clock's ticking, how worth it was pissing all your neighbors off now baby?). Anyway for folks like you, we've come up with the ultimate slide_under_the_wire_with_the_rest_of_the_pondscum solution JUST FOR YOU
Throw this baby on and stick to that self-righteous christian neighbor LIKE GLUE...

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Post #: 8

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:45:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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*snort*

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 9

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:51:55 AM

SternSkipper

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And PRETTY GIRLS, Don't think We've forgotten YOU (In fact, I'm going to be looking for at least 3 or 4 of you as MY REWARD when I get to the marina Condo god has picked out for me ... and Heidi-esque blondes, Auburn Haired Beauties, And REALLY HOTChestnut-Maned Stunners with brittsh accents slide right to the front of the line) Anywy We have this understated little catholic number for you

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Post #: 10

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:54:24 AM

SternSkipper

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And remember girls, if things start to get dicey in line... Don't be afraid to exploit it's advanced 'easy-off' feature...
Trust me, those Pearly gate guys have been to Motorcycle Weekend just Like Everybody Else...

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Post #: 11

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:54:38 AM

Rule

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I can't on Saturday. I have got a conference meeting that evening.

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Post #: 12

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 7:59:52 AM

SternSkipper

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And hey, you say you don't like waiting in line?
Well why not take one of our romantic celestial sea cruises to heaven?
We feature top notch service and the food is to die for....

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Post #: 13

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:03:40 AM

SternSkipper

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And lastly maybe you don't BELIEVE this is it, Maybe You don't BELIEVE you can redeem yourself fast enough/
MAYBE you just want to chuck it all and just have fun. But you don't want to start debauching panicked heathens on the street.
Well, you're in luck. This weekend and this weekend only, we're sponsoring a workshop JUST FOR CHRISTIANS!

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Post #: 14

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:08:20 AM

SternSkipper

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Okay folks, that's our spring line... Pretty impressive huh?
you're probably wondering about one thing though... And you're probably saying to yourself "Wow, this shit is all so exciting and I wonder just how I'll be able to afford it ... and WHERE are the prices????"
Well why don't you step over to our financing desk and have a sit down with out very own financing expert, Mr Charlie Sheen!

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Post #: 15

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:09:32 AM

SternSkipper

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Charlie Says....

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RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:10:32 AM

SternSkipper

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quote:

oh sweet heaven, lol

What are you worried about... that ass of yours will get you in twice!

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Post #: 17

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:11:52 AM

SternSkipper

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quote:

jeez jerry, its good to see the drugs are just as good in the next life as they were in this one.

Well Hannah, as you know, I'm no health nut

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Post #: 18

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:14:16 AM

SternSkipper

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Joined: 3/7/2004
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quote:

I can't on Saturday. I have got a conference meeting that evening.

Don't you worry... the Gngrich/Bin Laden party has a special shuttle leaving later on... why not hop that one?

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 19

RE: Depending on viewpoint The Rapture/judgement Day is... - 5/18/2011 8:20:25 AM

SternSkipper

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Okay folks, that pretty much SCREWS any prayer I had in case this rapture shit IS true. But I figure i'd leave you laughing if that was the deal

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Post #: 20

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