RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/19/2011 9:37:37 PM)

I got a few emails on the matter that held the same opinion.  I probably could have used a bit more decorum on the subject, but the horse was long past dead and it was time to use the hide.




NuevaVida -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/19/2011 10:52:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I agree with Rich.  I don't have a problem with saying that I *know* some forum regulars enough to say that I'd want to meet them, or trust them enough to have My phone number, or feel enough familiarity to share some personal things with them on the flip side.  It may not be a perfect science, but there are a number of folks from these forums that I haven't had a chance to meet in person yet, who would be absolutely welcome to dinner here in My home, just on My opinion of them through these boards.  


Ditto this.




BitaTruble -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 2:27:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania



Another thing, I am not saying anyone should care if others like us or not, I am just wondering what other people think when they come across a post that condemns the "regulars" on this board... or if they have any thoughts at all about it (and i am bored waiting for the pest guy to show up).


Actually, I never gave it much thought. Trying to put it in perspective though, if someone does judge the form dwellers as a whole, it's their right and if enough folks are saying the same thing, then the possibility that there may be some truth to it should be considered. In any event, the folks here have a thick enough skin so they can with stand a little pain. This place is full of sadists and masochists outside the fact we're all human and if our skin isn't thick enough to handle a forum how are we gonna make it in the real world where that whip can draw actual blood?

That applies to newbies, oldies, smarties, dumbos etc. [8D]




0ldhen -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 4:25:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

What level of posting makes someone a "regular"?



They say if you eat fiber every day then you are regular, maybe that's what the OP is trying to tell us......




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 4:34:42 AM)

I've done some thinking about how this forum comes across. I would say, in general, we don't like:
  • Whiners, wankers, and wannabes.
  • Clueless prodommes who want to make a buck but have zero experience at being a domme, and expect people to "bow down and worship me" after their first intro post.
  • People who think being in a BDSM relationship somehow suspends all the reciprocal relationship rules.
  • Married cheaters who try to condone their actions by calling it "poly."
  • People who pretend to be into kink for the sole purpose of finding a quick easy fuck.
  • People who post a thread making some wild accusation or assertion, with no ability to back it up.
What we, as a forum, do like:
  • Cats, pets, nature of any kind.
  • Music, literature, words, films, quotations.
  • Online games that have a social interaction component.
  • Great BDSM gear, and those who make it.
  • Good advice from people who have been there and done that.
  • Honesty.
  • Nurturing those who need it (the I Admit thread)
  • Pissing contests (well, we seem to, they are quite common).
A fairly quick scan of the daily posts for a week should give any reasonably intelligent person enough information to make their own lists and see how they would fit into this tiny sub-set of the BDSM world.

If someone does not take the time or care to do that, how can regulars on the forum be responsible for what these newbies type?

On the one hand, I would like to see us as a group be kinder to newbies, but they would have to start out by being smarter.






sunshinemiss -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 5:12:38 AM)

We like...

... the Quote of the Day... yes, indeedy, we like the Sunny Quote of the Day...
(shameless plug)

... and pix of hot men ...

... and Alan Rickman's voice...

... clever witticisms...

... word play ...

and to bring it back to a serious note... I think we like a certain amount of... what's the word? Authenticity? Humility? Gravitas? Willingness to admit when we've made a mistake? The people seem to be well respected on the threads are (g/s, ymmv) people who are willing to admit they were wrong when appropriate, express their opinions as their experience / opinions as simply their own without pushing their views on others, and are willing to say the hard stuff without apology. These same people are also (g/s, ymmv) people who know how to have a sense of humor when the situation calls for it.

best,
sunshine





LadyConstanze -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 6:52:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

  • Clueless prodommes who want to make a buck but have zero experience at being a domme, and expect people to "bow down and worship me" after their first intro post.



  • I think we can substitute prodommes with clueless tops, at least the prodommes who are clueless kinda weed themselves out, I mean you're not a professional if you don't have business, just like you're not a shop keeper if you have to close your shop because nobody was buying from you and you went bust. I think the instant dom/mes realize pretty quick that you actually got to put a bit of work and effort in...

    I kinda get more freaked out by people who take absurd risks, you know as in not even knowing what they are doing, no clue about sterilization or hygiene, that's not RACK, that's just inviting trouble and serious injuries (I recall an old thread - I think it was deleted, where somebody recommended stomping testicles with high heels), and then bragging about it so that newbies who by chance might see it possibly might think it's a good idea to try it...




    LaTigresse -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 7:24:17 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: LadyPact

    I agree with Rich.  I don't have a problem with saying that I *know* some forum regulars enough to say that I'd want to meet them, or trust them enough to have My phone number, or feel enough familiarity to share some personal things with them on the flip side.  It may not be a perfect science, but there are a number of folks from these forums that I haven't had a chance to meet in person yet, who would be absolutely welcome to dinner here in My home, just on My opinion of them through these boards.  


    Ditto this.



    I feel absolutely the same way. There are quite a few people I've gotten to know on here, that if they were in my part of the world, I would invite them to my home without a second thought. And I am VERY protective of my home and those that frequent it.




    sexyred1 -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 9:00:19 AM)


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: TheHeretic


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sexyred1

    I also completely disagree with the poster who said that online is where you really "know someone". Puleeze. There are hundreds of ways to portray yourself in a false manner online, duh. How naive to think otherwise and to make assumptions simply based on writings, is most likely an incorrect assumption.



    You can get a pretty good handle on character and temperment, Sexy, if you see enough of another person's postings, over a period of time. There are some mighty strange senses of humor floating around in here!


    I agree, to a point. I think many people tend to flock towards those who agree with them, or whose humor they "get" or who they are attracted to. But that is all online.

    I have spoken to a number of people from Collarme on the phone and met some in real life. Most of the people I have spoken to on the phone sounded like their online personas. The ones I actually met, were not.

    But then again, most of the people I have met in real life were from the other side and not the boards.

    There are many here who I would love to meet in person, but I wonder if they, or I, would seem the same as our personas online.





    Phoenixpower -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 9:08:15 AM)


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

    quote:

    as for longevity holding more sway. no, not always. it can work out handy though. for instance; when i first joined i had a very nice person from here pm me and give me some pointers, including a list of people deemed alright and a few to take with a pinch of salt. it was good to have someone there that when i had a query i could ask for their imput as to whether i was right.


    I wouldn't consider that a "nice person". I'd consider that somebody who was telling you who you should like and not like. I'd consider it an insult and I'd have to wonder what kind of an agenda that person has. Why is that "nice person" trying to turn you away from somebody? Why doesn't that person think you are smart enough to figure it out?

    best,
    sunshine


    What sunshine said [:)]




    LaTigresse -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 9:58:44 AM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sexyred1


    There are many here who I would love to meet in person, but I wonder if they, or I, would seem the same as our personas online.




    One of my MOST favourite people in the whole world, I met here. She no longer posts here and I think her name was.....UR2BAdored......but I am not sure. I just think of her by her actual name. Quite often, I don't think her posts even came close to reflecting the delightful woman she is. She is warm, bubbly, sweet, funny, smart......just so many qualities that I enjoy. She told me, not long ago, that she always thought I came across much meaner and more scary, or something along those lines, than she sees me as being now.

    So I think that many of us do censor ourselves for mass market, to a degree. I also think that, the better you know someone personally, at least someone like me, you begin to learn the more subtle nuances of their words. Most of the time when I post it is with a voice of dry humour in my head. Many times, the self depreciating....eye roll, type nuance, well it gets missed. I am sure that often comes across in a much more harsh and serious manner than the intent. I don't think I take myself nearly as seriously and self importantly as I probably appear in type.

    I am really okay with that because in real life, I can be a real cunt at times. Usually without even realizing it. G.D. recently got his feelings hurt by the way I said a few sentences. I was pissy and frustrated with myself and he took it as though I was shitting on him. I left the house, had NO IDEA he was upset over the exchange, until we exchanged a few instant messages via Yahoo later in the day. This is not unusual with me it seems.




    juliaoceania -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 10:16:48 AM)

    I do not see you as mean.... straight spoken, but not mean.

    People used to be afraid of my mom when I was young. They respected her because she was straight up, not back down sort. She is really one of the most sensitive people I have ever met, but it isn't always apparent to those who do not know her.

    one thing I try to remind myself of in regard to the posters on here who have energy that does not jibe with me is that I could have a completely different picture of someone off this site if I saw them in the context of their life... I try not to reduce people to what they post on the internet.




    sunshinemiss -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 10:18:59 AM)

    LaT - mail




    SternSkipper -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 11:59:17 AM)

    quote:

    For those of you who are "regulars" ( I guess you know who you are), do you feel responsible for the overall content of this board? If you have been posting on here for years, do you think this somehow makes your words have more gravity, and therefore you need to be more careful in how you post?


    Hold on... let me give this careful consideration...... Ummmmm....

    NOPE




    mnottertail -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 12:02:08 PM)

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
    People used to be afraid of my mom when I was young.


    Oh, yeah?  What's her nick on this board? I had no idea that she was a regular.   And---btw, you ain't all that old, honey. You got some hard miles you could be driven yet.




    SternSkipper -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 12:02:14 PM)

    quote:

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: sexyred1


    There are many here who I would love to meet in person, but I wonder if they, or I, would seem the same as our personas online.



    I'm funnier in real life





    Arpig -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 12:09:47 PM)

    quote:

    I'm funnier in real life
    Thank God for that eh?




    ZING!!!!




    juliaoceania -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 12:38:14 PM)


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: mnottertail

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
    People used to be afraid of my mom when I was young.


    Oh, yeah?  What's her nick on this board? I had no idea that she was a regular.   And---btw, you ain't all that old, honey. You got some hard miles you could be driven yet.



    My mom wouldn't be posting on this board...

    As for how old I am, suppose I get a warped idea when almost everyone I know is almost young enough to be my child




    LaTigresse -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 12:42:39 PM)

    I shared an email exchange the other day with a forum member who said she was old and grumpy. Per her profile she is two years younger than I am. I had to laugh.




    tiggerspoohbear -> RE: You Bad "Regulars"... You know who you are! (5/20/2011 8:32:05 PM)

    I've been on the boards for some 2 years now, previously under a different user name. I once posted a thread without thinking about it first and got dumped on. My own fault, I must admit. Since then I contribute to serious threads if I think I can help. The intro section is ridiculous at times and even though I'm supposed to be nice to the newbies, there's times when I'm holding back on what I type so I don't get a golden ticket.

    I've had the chance to make some really good friends from this side, people I'd love to meet in person, and some I'd love to visit or have them do the same with me. Most are from the States and my financial situation doesn't allow me to make the trips I'd love to make. Maybe in the future. I tend to stay in the P&RS section, I peruse some of the other forums and see what's going on. Often I'll subscribe to a thread just to follow what's being said without ever contributing. And I know better than to go into the P&R section, I'd go insane. Just not my cup of tea.




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