Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex that wronged them?

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Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex that... - 5/27/2011 5:14:46 AM

PhilSlave

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Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:19:08 AM

Lucylastic

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would you like the quick answer?, or the deep answer?
the first answer is nope
the deep answer is , nope but some do.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:22:35 AM

DesFIP

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Everybody just turns to him anyway, asking for help. If he can tell them what to do in the first place, he has less problem solving to do.Teaching the teens how to drive in snow and ice meant he had less cars to pull out of ditches. It really is that simple.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 5/27/2011 5:24:14 AM >

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:29:57 AM

VaguelyCurious

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Who bases relationships on a need for revenge?

I think you've been watching too much porn. That's not what real relationships look like.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:35:02 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
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I am a Dominant.

I am my own boss (scratch out "no power in reality").

I like people (scratch out "seeking revenge").

I cannot speak for everybody, I can only speak specifically about me. I'm sure there are some out there who follow this...question...you are posing.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:38:11 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

you are a submissive who believes Dominants are only on power trips? I can see why you dont hold out much hope.

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If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:41:24 AM

domiguy

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but who says that everything out here meets everyone else's definition of real.

I think there is a tremendous undercurrent of discord that runs through this thing. Men and women that have been so thoroughly run through the wringer that they inevitably wind up here.

Men/Women that are so inadequate that this is how they fill the void. Men that are incapable of communicating with women so they don the Dom role to compensate for those failings. They are not to be questioned because they are the supreme beings. Women so disturbed or put off by men that they view them as totally vile and disgusting creatures, it is in the tone of so many of their greetings and posts.

Then you throw in the woman that has managed to be raped a half dozen times and all of the other walking disasters and the op isn't half cocked.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:44:31 AM

ResidentSadist

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Are you talking about the fragile male egos of all those annoying Doms with tiny dysfunctional dicks and a Napoleon complex or the Doms that never developed emotional maturity above high school level because they were social outcasts and rejected by females? Maybe you are you talking about the man hating female stereotype that only becomes a Domme after a brutal and vicious divorce from their husband? Then yes, it's because their inner child was betrayed and they are heart broken. That's why the dried up cunts and limp dicks take the Dom/me role. However, that stereotype makes up a very small percentage of the Dom/mes in the leather community. You will find an equal number of their counterparts in the vanilla world.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:45:45 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

Again, I belong to my Master.
It is not some revenge thing.

His ownership of me is predicated on my decision that He was worthy of submitting to (and to that degree). It was also based upon His finding me worthy of serving him.

So in essence, you have mutual compatibility and respect.

I trust Him with all of my being.

My question to you, is where did you get the ideas you have about power exchange relationships?

They may be consistent with your experiences (although they seem to be more consistent with BDSM porn); your experience is not in line with mine at all.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:49:33 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Are you talking about the fragile male egos of all those annoying Doms with tiny dysfunctional dicks and a Napoleon complex or the Doms that never developed emotional maturity above high school level because they were social outcasts and rejected by females? Maybe you are you talking about the man hating female stereotype that only becomes a Domme after a brutal and vicious divorce from their husband? Then yes, it's because their inner child was betrayed and they are heart broken. That's why the dried up cunts and limp dicks take the Dom/me role. However, that stereotype makes up a very small percentage of the Dom/mes in the leather community. You will find an equal number of their counterparts in the vanilla world.

Nothing personal, but I know longer agree with those sentiments. Take the 'nilla world and magnify the dyslexia 10x and then you might have a feel for the "bdsm community."

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:52:11 AM

Tantriqu

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This.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
would you like the quick answer?, or the deep answer?
the first answer is nope
the deep answer is , nope but some do.

I love men. LOVE men. Love them, and only them. Nothing makes me happier than to be in the company of good men. And if they happen to get weak in the knees and become spontaneously erect when I nip their napes and whisper 'Good dog', so much the better.
Don't confuse porn with reality.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:53:56 AM

Lucylastic

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YUM Tantriqu:) I do too
love men that is

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:54:09 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

As soon as I read the title of the thread, I knew who had posted it.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 5:57:08 AM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

In reality, the Dominant does have the power.
Fantasy is for those that only sit and dream about it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave
I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

Have you actually ever come across a Dominant that didn't believe in themselves?

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 6:25:22 AM

DarkSteven

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I've been wronged by both sexes in so many ways that I ought to want to take over the whole world if your supposition was correct. And yet, all I want to do is Dominate wimmins. Go figure.

Disclaimer: I still have not yet ruled out world takeover, but as the years go by, it's looking less and less feasible.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 6:37:12 AM

ResidentSadist

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poise,
It was so nice of you to answer this troll with sincerity. Your choice to take the high road is commendable. Me, I jumped in the gutter and poked fun and some of our funny lifestyle stereotypes.

So lets look at your high road shall we? Either ol’ Phil here just deliberately posted his second installment of troll bait or he believes in what he is posting and needs counseling. Let's make a small list of why Phil needs help:

•    He believes BDSM is a retreat from “normal”, meaning he feels abnormal (alienation).
•    He feels BDSM is a place for emotionless relationships . . . physical contact without emotional attachment is . . . alienation.
•    Obviously he is not happy with the emotional exposure in vanilla but he’s not sated by BDSM or he wouldn’t be switching back and forth. He is not “fitting in” to either world and feels . . . alienated.
•    He is striking out posting negative threads that further alienate him.
•    He dislikes dominants, doesn’t believe they have real power.
•    He has disdain for a dominant's rhetoric.
•    It is obvious BDSM has some negative stigma for him yet he migrates to it in his escape from vanilla.

I dunno’ but it sounds like he is having some serious emotional problems. If I took the high road, judging from his last two threads, I would have ignored the OPs and simply recommend he tries seeking help. . . . and that is why I try to stay away from the high road or addresses the real problems when I see them on these forums.

Best wishes,
Kalon Eric

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

In reality, the Dominant does have the power.
Fantasy is for those that only sit and dream about it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave
I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

Have you actually ever come across a Dominant that didn't believe in themselves?

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 5/27/2011 6:39:34 AM >

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 6:53:42 AM

Kana

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1-I've been an entrepreneur, a small business owner, a consultant and a few other things.Sometimes I've been in a leadership roll, sometimes not. I have multiple degrees and graduated near the top of my class. But either way, my whole life, I've been the guy folks look to at the end, when they want someone to make the call or say the words no one else is willing to say. I tend to wind up being a leader in almost all my relationships whether I like it or not-I'm the guy the team members always choose to be in charge, for whatever reason(I think aliens have melted their brains, but that's just me). So no, it's not a lack of personal success that makes me a sadist and/or dominant.

2-Let's get this straight-I love and adore women...I just also happen to like hearing them grovel and scream. I grew up surrounded by strong, passionate, uber successful women who I, to this day, admire and respect tremendously. I don't bear any animosity towards an exes. Hell, if I examine most of my past relationships, I tend to see a whole lot more fault on my part than theirs. I wish almost all of them the best and root for them to succeed in life and for their dreams to come true. I've attended their weddings, met their new men, had them cry on my shoulders sometimes years after we broke up. Most I still love, it's just that the love has changed form from a sexual thing to a deep friendship that has survived the battering and trails of time and personalities. You know, real friendship.
I come from the best family a guy could ask for-supportive, loving, would do anything for the kids.I don't hate my Mom-she's my best friend-a rock in my life that I can always turn too, and that's kinda cool. I don't hate my Sisters-they didn't torment me or any such nonsense-they treated me with kindness and consideration and set a very high standard for those who followed behind them-a standard I am grateful for.

So I don't know what kind of wingnut whacky crap the OP is fishing for (Sounds like an implication that folks are dominant because they are all FUBAR (Son, I got news for you-all people are FUBAR, it's the state of the human condition) which I find absurdly shallow and a sophomoric cliche) but whatever it is, you ain't finding it in moi.

Maybe, just maybe, I like doing what I do because that's the way I'm wired. It's who and what I am, which frankly is how I've always seen it. For me, BDSM isn't a lifestyle, it's not a game I play, it's not some clothes I wear once a week at The Crucible (Alas, now defunct), it's an holistic and natural extension of my base personality. Ever consider that?

Apply Occam's razor-look for the simplest possible solution and usually that will be the right one.

< Message edited by Kana -- 5/27/2011 6:55:53 AM >

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 7:04:38 AM

poise

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It's always a pleasure to read you, Kalon Eric. :)

While I have not had the benefit of reading his 80+ posts, I have
found the most logical post he has made so far is in his own profile.
"I don't hold out much hope here"

Maybe one day, he can stop wondering how others can be so happy
living their lives, and learn to start living his own.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 7:04:39 AM

xssve

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Are there petty, vindictive and vengeful people in the world? Sure, be surprising if there weren't a few who practice BDSM - but on average, these people tend to go into politics, religion and finance, where they can exact revenge on entire populations, doing it one at a time would be too slow, and it requires intimate contact.

There may be some love/hate relationships going on, and I don't think women are any less susceptible than men to going mad with domly power, but by the same token, how many submissives are on a guilt trip of some kind, and BDSM allows them to act out on an atonement fantasy? As long as it's SSC, who cares? People have issues, that's never going to change.

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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/27/2011 7:08:59 AM

ParappaTheDapper

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

Or is it something else, a need for power that they don't have in reality?

I'm only talking about the type of Dom/Domme who actually believes their rhetoric.

Well God knows I am!

The sex that wronged me is men, by picking me last for basketball every day at recess years ago. The way I get revenge is by being as awesome with women as possible!

ETA Plus I'm pretty awesome at basketball now!

< Message edited by ParappaTheDapper -- 5/27/2011 7:19:39 AM >

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