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RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/28/2011 4:54:18 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
I was doing a scene last weekend, and i kept crying, and the guy started to get concerned. He was like, do you want to stop, and i said, no, i like crying. It's like, for whatever reason, that feels good to me. If i had to articulate the reason, i might say that i have these free floating feelings of guilt and tension, and being hit with things is a way to sort of release that. It feels good.
  What you're describing is catharsis.

Catharsis is, interestingly enough, a dramatic term which describes the purging or cleansing flow of emotion which can occur for one ore more characters in a dramatic work of art and also occurs consistently in the audience.  Understanding the role of catharsis is critical in creating a flow of tension and release which enthralls an audience.

It might be interesting to consider your scenes in terms of tension and release.  What kind of rhythm works best for you and whether that makes a difference to the catharsis you experience.  And whether aftercare is a necessary response to that catharsis so that you may find your equilibrium again.


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Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/28/2011 4:57:29 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  Ranja, I feel that your ideas - while lucidly expressed - are somewhat at odds with the notions of free determination which are effectively axioms in this subculture.  Inasmuch as you appear to have a decent grasp of certain fundamentals, I suspect even you would recognise that there's room for debate on many of the points which you're contending are true.


< Message edited by Awareness -- 5/28/2011 4:58:00 AM >

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/28/2011 6:40:16 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I have difficulties understanding the way you write... all learned like... i am more simple really
I think there should always room for debate... especially when the subject is the truth, as there are so very many versions of it.

but be careful sir... i am a zombie
... i believe you converse with me at your own peril

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/28/2011 6:46:32 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
I was doing a scene last weekend, and i kept crying, and the guy started to get concerned. He was like, do you want to stop, and i said, no, i like crying. It's like, for whatever reason, that feels good to me. If i had to articulate the reason, i might say that i have these free floating feelings of guilt and tension, and being hit with things is a way to sort of release that. It feels good.
  What you're describing is catharsis.

Catharsis is, interestingly enough, a dramatic term which describes the purging or cleansing flow of emotion which can occur for one ore more characters in a dramatic work of art and also occurs consistently in the audience.  Understanding the role of catharsis is critical in creating a flow of tension and release which enthralls an audience.

It might be interesting to consider your scenes in terms of tension and release.  What kind of rhythm works best for you and whether that makes a difference to the catharsis you experience.  And whether aftercare is a necessary response to that catharsis so that you may find your equilibrium again.



listen to the master...he knows what he is talking about.


_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/28/2011 6:59:29 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i think that most kinksters stay kinky (once they come out of the closet, at any rate). i don't see many people leaving kink after being "cured" of whatever brought them here, as if BDSM was a symptom of some kind of emotional disfunction. It's deeper than that for most people, i think. It's an expression of who we are, on a fundamental level.


i think there are actually quite a lot people who give up on the kink after a while... maybe consider it too much effort... or been there done that, got the t-shirt now i'm bored with it sort of thing... or oh i love my partner so much i can't treat them like that anymore....
its more like a wave thing i think... very active at it... not so much... catching up... being bored.... kink kink kink.... bit of gimmer sex... then death

< Message edited by ranja -- 5/28/2011 7:00:25 AM >

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 3:01:11 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		Yeah, kink gets boring for sure.

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 3:12:08 PM   
CreepyStalker


Posts: 265
Joined: 2/12/2011
Status: offline 		If I wanted to take 'revenge' (I have nothing to take revenge for really, it'd just be an unprovoked psychopathic rampage) on men in general, I wouldn't go through I'll the fuss of becoming a domme and having to worry about a subs needs and safety and limits and giving them after-care. I'd just run around with a big knife chopping off cocks at random.

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 3:15:57 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

If I wanted to take 'revenge' (I have nothing to take revenge for really, it'd just be an unprovoked psychopathic rampage) on men in general, I wouldn't go through I'll the fuss of becoming a domme and having to worry about a subs needs and safety and limits and giving them after-care. I'd just run around with a big knife chopping off cocks at random.



Here, you might need some help...



_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CreepyStalker)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:10:48 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

If I wanted to take 'revenge' (I have nothing to take revenge for really, it'd just be an unprovoked psychopathic rampage) on men in general, I wouldn't go through I'll the fuss of becoming a domme and having to worry about a subs needs and safety and limits and giving them after-care. I'd just run around with a big knife chopping off cocks at random.



You sound like a very scary person......

(in reply to CreepyStalker)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:15:02 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

If I wanted to take 'revenge' (I have nothing to take revenge for really, it'd just be an unprovoked psychopathic rampage) on men in general, I wouldn't go through I'll the fuss of becoming a domme and having to worry about a subs needs and safety and limits and giving them after-care. I'd just run around with a big knife chopping off cocks at random.



You sound like a very scary person......


Phil, I hate to remind you, but your vanilla girlfriend who knows about you posting here, when can we hear or see her on voice or video chat? The site supports this, of course we understand if you're a bit financially strained and can't afford a cam or a microphone...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:17:15 PM   
CreepyStalker


Posts: 265
Joined: 2/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

If I wanted to take 'revenge' (I have nothing to take revenge for really, it'd just be an unprovoked psychopathic rampage) on men in general, I wouldn't go through I'll the fuss of becoming a domme and having to worry about a subs needs and safety and limits and giving them after-care. I'd just run around with a big knife chopping off cocks at random.



You sound like a very scary person......


I'm lovely, really.
It's highly unlikely I'll actually go on a cock-chopping rampage. I wouldn't want to look directly at them, and considering I'm not the most co-ordinated person at the best of times, I'd probably end up doing more damage to myself than anyone else. You're safe, don't worry.

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:26:53 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: CreepyStalker

If I wanted to take 'revenge' (I have nothing to take revenge for really, it'd just be an unprovoked psychopathic rampage) on men in general, I wouldn't go through I'll the fuss of becoming a domme and having to worry about a subs needs and safety and limits and giving them after-care. I'd just run around with a big knife chopping off cocks at random.



You sound like a very scary person......


I'm lovely, really.
It's highly unlikely I'll actually go on a cock-chopping rampage. I wouldn't want to look directly at them, and considering I'm not the most co-ordinated person at the best of times, I'd probably end up doing more damage to myself than anyone else. You're safe, don't worry.



Haha, I like you. You're actually obviously pretty normal.

To Constanze: My gf is a nurse and is actually working tonight. Unlike you I don't post everyday :-) or even every other day.

(in reply to CreepyStalker)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:52:32 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlaveu're safe, don't worry.

Haha, I like you. You're actually obviously pretty normal.

Haha, just so you know, this is the girlfriend whose back you accused me of going behind.

She's pretty normal, yeah*. We're all pretty normal. That's what you're missing.



*apart from the cow thing, but let's all never ever bring that up ever ever again, hey?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:57:01 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlaveu're safe, don't worry.

Haha, I like you. You're actually obviously pretty normal.

Haha, just so you know, this is the girlfriend whose back you accused me of going behind.

She's pretty normal, yeah*. We're all pretty normal. That's what you're missing.



*apart from the cow thing, but let's all never ever bring that up ever ever again, hey?


I don't remember that, i'll take your word for it though.... Going behind her back..... Pretty sure I didn't... Anyway.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 4:58:59 PM   
CreepyStalker


Posts: 265
Joined: 2/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


Haha, I like you. You're actually obviously pretty normal.



LIES AND SLANDER! I'm not normal; I'm special!

(In the awesome sense rather than the special needs sense)

(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:00:44 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I don't remember that, i'll take your word for it though.... Going behind her back..... Pretty sure I didn't... Anyway.



quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Does your loving vanilla partner know you're here?


Yes she does, she often sits next to me as I post.... please don't attribute your reasons for being here to me.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3694124

I'd call that a pretty strong implication at the very least.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:03:19 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I don't remember that, i'll take your word for it though.... Going behind her back..... Pretty sure I didn't... Anyway.



quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Does your loving vanilla partner know you're here?


Yes she does, she often sits next to me as I post.... please don't attribute your reasons for being here to me.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3694124

I'd call that a pretty strong implication at the very least.


Actually it could be, however, it was in response to an accusation by you. That said, it may have been harsh. In which case I take that back. I do not expect the same from you. So we are all good.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:06:32 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I don't remember that, i'll take your word for it though.... Going behind her back..... Pretty sure I didn't... Anyway.



quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Does your loving vanilla partner know you're here?


Yes she does, she often sits next to me as I post.... please don't attribute your reasons for being here to me.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3694124

I'd call that a pretty strong implication at the very least.


Actually it could be, however, it was in response to an accusation by you. That said, it may have been harsh. In which case I take that back. I do not expect the same from you. So we are all good.


No accusation - if you look at the quote above, I asked you a straightforward question - 'does your partner know you're here?'. You said that she did, and I said 'fair enough' - that's your acknowledgement right there. So you 'do not expect' something that's already happened. But never mind.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to PhilSlave)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:13:30 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja
i think there are actually quite a lot people who give up on the kink after a while... maybe consider it too much effort... or been there done that, got the t-shirt now i'm bored with it sort of thing... or oh i love my partner so much i can't treat them like that anymore....
its more like a wave thing i think... very active at it... not so much... catching up... being bored.... kink kink kink.... bit of gimmer sex... then death


What you describe is different than them giving up on kink because, after beating enough asses, they were "cured" of whatever angst brought them here.

pam

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Are doms and dommes looking for revenge on the sex ... - 5/29/2011 5:17:14 PM   
PhilSlave


Posts: 410
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave


quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

I don't remember that, i'll take your word for it though.... Going behind her back..... Pretty sure I didn't... Anyway.



quote:

ORIGINAL: PhilSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Does your loving vanilla partner know you're here?


Yes she does, she often sits next to me as I post.... please don't attribute your reasons for being here to me.


http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3694124

I'd call that a pretty strong implication at the very least.


Actually it could be, however, it was in response to an accusation by you. That said, it may have been harsh. In which case I take that back. I do not expect the same from you. So we are all good.


No accusation - if you look at the quote above, I asked you a straightforward question - 'does your partner know you're here?'. You said that she did, and I said 'fair enough' - that's your acknowledgement right there. So you 'do not expect' something that's already happened. But never mind.


The fact you asked though was an attempt at a snipe, and I sniped back.. I'm good with you. To be honest it dissapoints me, that people cannot debate a differing point of view without that sort of thing. At least though we have both risen above it.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 80
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