VaguelyCurious
Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
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Inspired by Heather's thread, where she said:
quote:
ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
I do realize that the CM boards aren't really definitive, but...<snip>...I think there's a pretty broad group that post here.>
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3696342
Which got me thinking, and rather than derailing her thread I'm starting a new one.
I was going to ask 'how representative of the people in the scene do you think the CM boards are?', but then it occurred to me that a) there are plenty of people who aren't scenesters who will have valuable things to say, and b) I've somehow become the sort of person who automatically assumes that the scene is the be all and end all, and that is not good, so I'll rephrase:
How representative of the people who you've come across in your experience of BDSM do you think the CM boards are?
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For me, a few things spring to mind:
- CM is light on casual players. Right now I'm pretty heavily involved in my local scene, with all the vaguely incestuous everyone's-played-with-everyone vibes that come with that - but even before that I was very much a 'little black book' kind of a girl, and I had the loose, casual connections that went with that. CM's much more geared to closed relationships and commitment.
- CM is seriously heteronormative. Oh sure, us queers are dotted about ( ) but the majority of you guys are straight. All the women (obviously) and most of the men I've been involved with have been at least bisexual, and my corner of the London scene's pretty bi-normative; monosexuals of either gender are the exception rather than the rule.
- I'm probably going to regret saying this one, but: y'all ain't that keen on people with gender issues. In the UK scene there's a biiiiiiiiiiiig crossover in subcultures - events are teeming with T-girls (so to speak!) But the crowd here definitely goes all conservative whenever a thread about gender issues comes up. I'm often shocked at some of the things people I thought I knew better come out with that are just considered...impolitic, maybe, on my scene. Political correctness on the issue of self-determination; we are big on it in ways you just don't seem to be.
- People think about titles a lot on CM. With most people I've first come across IRL rather than on the internet I could give you an inclination of top/bottom/switch. Beyond that? No idea - I think of them in terms of how they react to me, not what they call themselves. Here people distinguish between Top/Dom/me/Mistress/Master/Sadist/LordHighPoobah/&c&c. And then they get cross if you get it wrong. I've never seen that in real life (although I do wonder if that's partly because the UK doesn't have a leather scene).
- CM can be kind of anti-pro. I'm pretty fond of most of the ones I know. So are lots of people. They're often articulate and funny, and they take irritating men off my case. I call that a win.
Those are a few things that jumped out at me. Anyone have any others? Agree with me? Disagree vehemently (but politely, obviously, because nobody's ever rude on CM at all  )? I'd be interested to see what people think - especially people who aren't scenesters - how does CM match up to the partners, friends and acquaintances you've had?
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<This may ultimately belong in Off Topic, in which case I'm sure the mods will move it, but as it's about people's real life BDSM experiences I'm putting it here.>
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