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But if, in the future, you look for reasons not to trust in someone, in the end you will be miserable, and anyone who tries to be honestly involved with you will feel that misery along with you. Take some time to heal, and yes be more careful in the future, but don't let it destroy who you are

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You obviously (wrongly) took what I said to mean that people should just fully trust again. It's foolish to do it the first time, ridiculous to do it a second.

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When a person is dragged through the wringer the way the OP was, it is easy to become so jaded it is impossible to ever have a functional relationship again because there is always that distrust underlying everything. Certainly, when something like this happens, an adult is more careful in the future, but if you are going to become so "careful" that you don't let anyone in, you never heal from the previous damage.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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You obviously (wrongly) took what I said to mean that people should just fully trust again. It's foolish to do it the first time, ridiculous to do it a second.

I didn't think you meant it that way...

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When a person is dragged through the wringer the way the OP was, it is easy to become so jaded it is impossible to ever have a functional relationship again because there is always that distrust underlying everything. Certainly, when something like this happens, an adult is more careful in the future, but if you are going to become so "careful" that you don't let anyone in, you never heal from the previous damage.

The OP is over 40, he has probably been hurt before, and betrayed as well (unfortunately most of us have been at least once by the time we are over the hill)... It doesn't seem to have impacted his ability to trust yet, although each time we get screwed over it does jade us a little more.... hopefully it makes us smarter

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Second, there are hurts and then there are hurts. It isn't likely that someone has lied to the OP the way this particular circumstance played out. Perhaps the OP's posts on this are his way of working through his anger, but someone doing something like that does have a way of jading a person beyond repair.

For those of you "over the hill" (at nearly 47 I don't consider myself that way), the reality is that when we get older and get so horribly played, it hurts more. Why? Because we believe we should have been smarter than to let this happen.

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

Whip, my brother, way too much emotional involvement.

This is like 'Nam out here, man! You can't afford to get too close because a lot of these fuckers ain't gonna be around here in the morning.


Dude, be glad this shit is behind you, if not, in time it soon enough will be.

Here is a tip...Stop fucking the crazies! Look, my brother, I know that fucking "the crazies" is some of the best fucking pussy one can ever obtain, but the long term costs are never worth the few memorable squirts.


Remember this shit that you are currently going through the next time you are staring a va-jay-jay square in the eye. Before you dive head first into the fucker take a very good look at the fucking thing that fucker is attached to. Is it sane? If not, just drop your goop and then tell them that your name is willbeurdaddy and get the fuck out of there.

Once your blood pressure has leveled off and the stroke has passed you are going to see how you really screwed the pooch on this one.

You believed the bitch but ignored all of the signs. You were looking at her slit instead of listening to her words and tracking her actions.

Another great thing about the crazies is that they are in fact fucking crazy. They will always blame others for all of their misfortunes, they will routinely complain about exes, they will have problems with their coworkers if they even some how manage to have a job.

Dude, consider yourself blessed. You are now free and clear of the killing zone. You got the fuck out alive.

I got to tell you...There is nothing as exciting as fucking in a minefield. Of course until your dick gets blown the fuck off.

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

You believed the bitch but ignored all of the signs.

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

Whip, my brother, way too much emotional involvement.

This is like 'Nam out here, man! You can't afford to get too close because a lot of these fuckers ain't gonna be around here in the morning.


Dude, be glad this shit is behind you, if not, in time it soon enough will be.

Here is a tip...Stop fucking the crazies! Look, my brother, I know that fucking "the crazies" is some of the best fucking pussy one can ever obtain, but the long term costs are never worth the few memorable squirts.


Remember this shit that you are currently going through the next time you are staring a va-jay-jay square in the eye. Before you dive head first into the fucker take a very good look at the fucking thing that fucker is attached to. Is it sane? If not, just drop your goop and then tell them that your name is willbeurdaddy and get the fuck out of there.

Once your blood pressure has leveled off and the stroke has passed you are going to see how you really screwed the pooch on this one.

You believed the bitch but ignored all of the signs. You were looking at her slit instead of listening to her words and tracking her actions.

Another great thing about the crazies is that they are in fact fucking crazy. They will always blame others for all of their misfortunes, they will routinely complain about exes, they will have problems with their coworkers if they even some how manage to have a job.

Dude, consider yourself blessed. You are now free and clear of the killing zone. You got the fuck out alive.

I got to tell you...There is nothing as exciting as fucking in a minefield. Of course until your dick gets blown the fuck off.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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That would have ruled M and I out from the word *go*......LOL

(added)...It's not the problems...it's how they're being dealt with.


agirl

There are challenges, and then there are problems... I define health matters, temporary financial setbacks, issues with one's family, to be challenges...

On the other hand, those who have chronic economic problems due to irresponsibility, cause the family issues, and create their own health matters have "problems"

Challenges can be met and overcome... problems not so much.

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

Whip, my brother, way too much emotional involvement.

This is like 'Nam out here, man! You can't afford to get too close because a lot of these fuckers ain't gonna be around here in the morning.


Dude, be glad this shit is behind you, if not, in time it soon enough will be.

Here is a tip...Stop fucking the crazies! Look, my brother, I know that fucking "the crazies" is some of the best fucking pussy one can ever obtain, but the long term costs are never worth the few memorable squirts.


Remember this shit that you are currently going through the next time you are staring a va-jay-jay square in the eye. Before you dive head first into the fucker take a very good look at the fucking thing that fucker is attached to. Is it sane? If not, just drop your goop and then tell them that your name is willbeurdaddy and get the fuck out of there.

Once your blood pressure has leveled off and the stroke has passed you are going to see how you really screwed the pooch on this one.

You believed the bitch but ignored all of the signs. You were looking at her slit instead of listening to her words and tracking her actions.

Another great thing about the crazies is that they are in fact fucking crazy. They will always blame others for all of their misfortunes, they will routinely complain about exes, they will have problems with their coworkers if they even some how manage to have a job.

Dude, consider yourself blessed. You are now free and clear of the killing zone. You got the fuck out alive.

I got to tell you...There is nothing as exciting as fucking in a minefield. Of course until your dick gets blown the fuck off.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I love Domi, in his many aspects.

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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
A friend once referred to such people as "emotional vampires".  Evidently you've run into one... maybe two?!!

My best advice... forget it.  No point in giving another (who's lied) the ability to ruin your day, week, month, or whatever.  I promise you... in the internet land of BDSM, this will not be the last person to do this.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4


Logically, I can not ignore what I saw (actions) not matching up with words. The way my mind works, I'm going to be asking questions similar to this...

"Okay If you're too sick to cut the grass, how is it that you're well enough to go jogging in the park?"