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RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/3/2011 9:41:06 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

quote:

I have had many variations of 'I am not interested', with varying degrees of weirdness and nastiness.

But you have an enticing photo up. You should try using a piece of rumpled old clothing instead. My text says the profile is for the boards and directs them to a different profile, a profile where Hanners is waiting for them. Bwahahahaha!.

I think it would be really fun if the HLH profile stated that it was the couple's profile that wasn't used much and directed them to yet another profile just for Hanners, and that one said it was really just made to sort of give me moral support and directed them to my profile. I can picture guys clicking from one to the other in an endless loop.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 21

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 12:43:13 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

Hello miss ^^

I wonder, if you think that way, how do you reconcile it with the variety of threads about personal topics here. There are all kinds of threads on these boards asking about people's fetishes, preference in partners, health problems, etc, many of which I feel are rather personal. But when questions are asked openly, some will choose to respond informatively.

Just off the front page, I think this one provides a perfect example: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3695761/tm.htm
Sir focus is nice and eloquent, which is probably a large factor in why he gets nice answers, but ultimately the thread comes down to asking what you do in bed, which is among the most private subjects one can ask.

I think both are perfectly fine ^_^

Hi Nanako,

First off, please do not call me miss. It's VaguelyCurious, or VC. I'd really appreciate it if you could stick to one of those.

And I disagree with you again, I'm afraid. I'll quite happily chat at a munch about all the things you've listed. To me they aren't particularly personal.

And go and look at Focus' thread again - especially the last page, where he says that every woman who didn't respond in gory detail is 'insecure', and several women react angrily to that. Not a good example of anything positive, I'm afraid.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Nanako)

Post #: 22

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 3:17:04 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Peon, now if you look at the other question the OP asked, it was about why none of the women here wants to do real time with him, I replied that he might go to a munch and meet people there - you know what the reply was? "Are you interested in playing with me real time" or something like that, I explained I am not but suggested munches and how he can find them - which lead to me being blissfully ignored but a whine about how many fakes are on here... Hmmm

Sorry, but that gives me a reason to think that it's pretty useless and idle curiosity and that he has the impression that if women aren't willing to indulge him straight away and give him what he wants, they're fairly useless and worthless to him. This is a 'tude that seems to creep up more and more and I guess I'm not the only one who's not really perfectly happy with it. Of course if we do the same as another part of the forum would do, we are aggressive, grumpy, vitriolic and this is an abrasive forum... Guys have come here and asked for help with profiles, pics and all that, they have gotten pretty good advice but then they didn't treat us as if we were just here for the entertainment of males.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 23

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 3:23:42 AM

ryansub1

Posts: 10
Joined: 5/31/2011
Status: offline

I do apologise if you thought my question was too personal

I'm also sorry that I did not reply to your last post on my other topic, it must have slipped my mind, I have replied now :)

I promise I am not trying to treat any women as entertainment for me.... i was only asking if you were interested in real time out of curiosity... it is because i'm new on the forums, that I may come across as ruder that I would have liked to.

So again, sorry if I have offended you in any way

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Peon, now if you look at the other question the OP asked, it was about why none of the women here wants to do real time with him, I replied that he might go to a munch and meet people there - you know what the reply was? "Are you interested in playing with me real time" or something like that, I explained I am not but suggested munches and how he can find them - which lead to me being blissfully ignored but a whine about how many fakes are on here... Hmmm

Sorry, but that gives me a reason to think that it's pretty useless and idle curiosity and that he has the impression that if women aren't willing to indulge him straight away and give him what he wants, they're fairly useless and worthless to him. This is a 'tude that seems to creep up more and more and I guess I'm not the only one who's not really perfectly happy with it. Of course if we do the same as another part of the forum would do, we are aggressive, grumpy, vitriolic and this is an abrasive forum... Guys have come here and asked for help with profiles, pics and all that, they have gotten pretty good advice but then they didn't treat us as if we were just here for the entertainment of males.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 24

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 3:43:35 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

ryan, you wouldn't walk into a party and ask everybody if they're interested in going to bed with you - so why do you think it would be appropriate to ask in an open forum an absolute stranger if they want to indulge in BDSM?

As a simple rule of thumb, what you wouldn't ask in a real life setting with people being face to face, don't ask it online. Just because you can't see the people doesn't mean they aren't real people behind their screens.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ryansub1)

Post #: 25

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 10:10:53 AM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

I understand why some people might not feel like answering the question, but I don't mind answering, especially because my experience is apparently different from many of the other Dommes.

I'd say I get about 50 or so people looking at my profile a week -- mostly sub males, but not always. But I only get messages from maybe 5 to 10 new contacts a week. I don't know why I get so comparatively few, but I certainly don't mind. Furthermore, the vast majority of the guys that write me, while not always the most articulate or sophisticated, are reasonably respectful, even if they're not a good fit for me.

Spy

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 26

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 5:53:11 PM

BlackTigerDragon

Posts: 180
Joined: 4/1/2010
Status: offline

I get one a month if I'm lucky.

(in reply to Nanako)

Post #: 27

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/4/2011 7:56:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I looked at both. I wondered why the numbers were so low.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BlackTigerDragon)

Post #: 28

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 9:15:01 AM

SensualSub27

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/31/2011
Status: offline

Lady C, I was just browsing through the forums and have noticed that a) You reply to a lot of threads (well I randomly looked at 3, and you replied in each occasion) and b) your messages are always so condescending, angry, and judgemental. If a male sub is going to use one of these website, to hopefully find a like minded partner, it would be perfectly reasonable to ask if female dommes are getting their inboxes flooded daily by other wannabe subs.

If female dommes are getting flooded it means that there is very little chance that they will even bother to read your message, let alone reply. You could be a perfect match, a completely genuine guy who would fulfill what she is looking for, but the fact that most will be getting so many messages makes it pointless. I have seen many profiles where the domme has written "don't be upset if I do not reply to you, I get thousands of messages a day". I think that the OP wanted to know if there are women out there who do not get that many messages, and whether they respond to any. If you are going to use a website, it is perfectly proper to know the state of play. We know that women don't respond to the douchebags that write stupid messages with grammatical errors, or are clearly looking for a cheap thrill. The point is that the potential of these websites is ruined bya lot of factors, mainly that female Dommes get flooded with messages. Other factors include women who are in it for money, or just a bit of attention seeking, and men pretending to be women.

The people who also baffle me are the forum posters like Lady C. They are "not looking for anyone" apparently, which begs the question "why are you even on this site". You must have a fulfilling relationship. If I was in a BDSM relationship, I would not be on this website. Further, what is the point of your comments? If you do not want to answer the question, then ignore it. I think that you value your opinion far too much, when it doesn't really have any substance to it. He was also looking for responses from Dommes that are on here "looking" for a sub. You could have answered with something a bit more sensible, like the poster who stated that she filtered out the obviously sad cases.

I'm not sure how his post could have offended you, but from your posts, it seems that you like to take offence to everything, and make a meal out of it. It's called the "alternative" lifestyle for more than one reason, and your attitude just seems very "vanilla". I would have serious doubts as to whether you were genuine.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 29

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 9:45:00 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Wow, you randomly looked at three threads and decided someone was universally condescending, angry, and judgemental. A whole three? I suppose the scientific method has reached new levels of accuracy if you can make that determination based on such a small sample size.

To respond to your other comments:

A) CM is more than a dating site. One need not be "looking" for anything to be here.
B) Even if one is in a relationship, the forums are for discussion, and not necessarily geared toward finding a partner.
C) The point of many of the comments on this thread is that the number of posts one woman receives in her mailbox are not indicative of what another woman will receive and, thus, the question of how much mail anyone receives is irrelevant to the matter of whether or not Random Domme X will respond to the OP.
D) No one gets to control who responds to threads. Suck it up, buttercup.
E) You have doubts about whether or not someone is genuine from a handful of posts? I have doubts about whether you are genuine because you've managed to make such a complete ass of yourself in your very first post. I strongly suspect you are a sock puppet.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to SensualSub27)

Post #: 30

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 9:50:40 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Thank you for saving me keystrokes, Sylvere!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 31

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 9:54:55 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

Good god. Haven't we hit our bitter, whiny Brit quota yet?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 32

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 9:56:02 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

You're welcome, Velvet Buddy. I know you're busy with getting settled in the new practice. Congrats on that, btw.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 33

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 10:52:27 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Good god. Haven't we hit our bitter, whiny Brit quota yet?

~stef

Hey! I resemble that remark!

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 34

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/5/2011 1:57:08 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SensualSub27
The people who also baffle me are the forum posters like Lady C. They are "not looking for anyone" apparently, which begs the question "why are you even on this site". You must have a fulfilling relationship. If I was in a BDSM relationship, I would not be on this website. Further, what is the point of your comments? If you do not want to answer the question, then ignore it. I think that you value your opinion far too much, when it doesn't really have any substance to it. He was also looking for responses from Dommes that are on here "looking" for a sub. You could have answered with something a bit more sensible, like the poster who stated that she filtered out the obviously sad cases.

I'm not sure how his post could have offended you, but from your posts, it seems that you like to take offence to everything, and make a meal out of it. It's called the "alternative" lifestyle for more than one reason, and your attitude just seems very "vanilla". I would have serious doubts as to whether you were genuine.

Syl already dealt with this more than adequately, but something made Me rather curious. Even though you're new here, you obviously know there more than just Lady C on this thread that aren't here because our purpose is to find a partner. Yet, you singled Lady C our as not being "genuine". I'm curious as to why that is when I know you have the information that other people here are also not seeking, but you targeted one person specifically?

While *you* may not continue to be on the site if you were involved in a relationship, if you're really going to throw around that bit about people being alternative, you must understand that other people are also different than you. It's something that really should occur to you.

Further, the OP didn't ask specifically only Dommes that were looking for someone how much mail they get. He just asked female Dominants in general. You'd be surprised how many of us that aren't "seeking" still get mail in the inbox, just like everybody else.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SensualSub27)

Post #: 35

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/7/2011 6:05:35 PM

YSG

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
Status: offline

Ok, Im gonna stick my neck out, at risk of getting my head bitten off... Ladies, the guy is 18 and new at this. Really, is there any reason to be so nasty towards him?

Just remember.... he could be like I was when I first came onto this site.

_____________________________

Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong

(in reply to Nanako)

Post #: 36

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/7/2011 6:40:04 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Good god. Haven't we hit our bitter, whiny Brit quota yet?

~stef

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Well said.

Up yours, Stef. ;-)

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 37

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/7/2011 6:49:03 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SensualSub27
The people who also baffle me are the forum posters like Lady C. They are "not looking for anyone" apparently, which begs the question "why are you even on this site". You must have a fulfilling relationship. If I was in a BDSM relationship, I would not be on this website.

While it's fine that you personally are not interested in participating socially in the BDSM community, other people certainly are. I am not all that interested in playing with or dating men who are not an active, social part of the BDSM community, because I definitely am, and they wouldn't be a good match for me if they weren't also. I like going to Munches and exchanging ideas and techniques with others in the lifestyle. Community support and education is awesome.

If you treat the social BDSM community like it was strictly a meat market that exists for the sole purpose of hooking up, you are a) misunderstanding its primary purpose for most of us, and b) very possibly excluding yourself from consideration by ladies who do enjoy the community aspect of BDSM socializing.

I have a word for someone who wants to play with me but doesn't want to meet me at a Munch or hang out socially with me in the BDSM community. That word is "client". My personal play partner and dating pool is made up of my friends in the BDSM community whom I've gotten to know comfortably through casual socializing in a safe, educational lifestyle setting. If you're not willing to do that, you are excluding yourself from a lot of great opportunities to get to know prospective femdoms as people you can connect with socially.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to SensualSub27)

Post #: 38

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/7/2011 6:56:11 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YSG
Just remember.... he could be like I was when I first came onto this site.

Hell, the number of times I've thought that about myself. I'd have been roasted alive if I'd turned up here at age 18. The OP is a veritable Solomon compared to the way I was, then.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to YSG)

Post #: 39

RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... - 6/7/2011 7:34:31 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YSG

Ok, Im gonna stick my neck out, at risk of getting my head bitten off... Ladies, the guy is 18 and new at this. Really, is there any reason to be so nasty towards him?

Just remember.... he could be like I was when I first came onto this site.

Yeah, because you got treated with kid gloves too, right?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to YSG)

Post #: 40

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