A questions for female dommes about messages... (Full Version)

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ryansub1 -> A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 9:38:44 AM)

I've seen that a lot of female dommes and mistresses complain about how they are 'flooded' with messages...

So i just wanted to ask any female dommes on here, how many messages would you say you receive from subs a day?

I'm just curious really

I'm a male sub btw, and i almost always have to message the mistress first haha :p



LadyConstanze -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 11:09:30 AM)

Stupid question, what does it matter how many mails we receive?



PeonForHer -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 11:27:11 AM)

It seemed a pretty reasonable question for a newbie to me, Lady C. I really do think that it's come time for you to visit Auntie Fluffy and Uncle Friendly for tea and buttered crumpets.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 11:38:23 AM)

Your question is invalid as it is written. 
 
Do you mean the total number of emails per day from any person who identifies as submissive/slave or do you mean the number of unique emails from someone previously unknown who messages with the intent to start a relationship?  (Note: for the purposes of discussion, a relationship shall be defined as any interaction between a dominant/top and a sub/bottom, either for casual play or a long-term interaction.)
 
The answer to this matters because the figures will be skewed if I count emails from people I know when the OP wants the number of unique messages or vice versa.



LadyConstanze -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 12:15:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

It seemed a pretty reasonable question for a newbie to me, Lady C. I really do think that it's come time for you to visit Auntie Fluffy and Uncle Friendly for tea and buttered crumpets.


What's valid? I mean is it going to change anything for him if he knows that LP gets 10 emails a day, I might get 5, VC might get 20....

I really don't understand, I mean would you go up to somebody and ask "How many letters do you get per day or week?" or would you consider that a bit rude? Apart from rude, it's not going to change anything for him. Seriously, it makes zero sense and my guess is that the answer won't rock his world or change a single thing for him.

For somebody 3 mails from strangers might be too much, for somebody else it might be any number...

I can tell him that I delete at least 5 every day unopened when they start "Do you want to..." and I really hope that might make his day.

And sorry, don't let me stop you on your trip to Auntie Fluffy and Uncle Friendly, if you feel the need to answer pointless questions because somebody is a newbie, feel free, but for me that question is pointless, that's like asking if I have tea or coffee in the morning, unless he plans to bring me tea or coffee... Knowing how much mail we get, is going to change exactly what for him?

I don't know if it's a new trend that apparently we have to answer about our sex lives, our mails, etc. If so, I didn't get the memo



LadyPact -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 12:24:02 PM)

Here's how this goes.

Any woman (Domme, sub, or switch) who creates a profile gets gets absolutely swamped with email during that first sixty days where she is on the "new user" list.  The system automatically shows other members if someone new joins the site in their area, meaning whatever search parameters they have set up  There are some things that will make how much mail she receives go up.  A big one is if she has uploaded a photo to the profile.  Another is that the number will be higher if she posts to the forums. 

That tapers off when the sixty days is over, but depending on where a person lives, what interests they have checked off, age, whether they are actively seeking someone, and a bunch of other factors will determine how much mail they receive. 

I can promise you that what you see on the message boards about the amount of volume really is the truth.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 12:48:10 PM)

Before the spam filter I was getting 50-70 mails from men I don't know a week. Bear in mind that my profile is listed as lesbian (i.e. not interested in men) and specifically asks that people do not contact me, so every single man messaging me has directly gone against my wishes.

Nowadays it's dropped to more like 20/25 a week - much more bearable. But I'm lucky; things are worse for new users, and worse for Americans, and worse for straight women.



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 1:03:37 PM)

As a submissive female I average about 100 to 200 messages a week(even without a photo), most that are deleted after being read....



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 5:13:28 PM)

Thanks to hiding my profile, I am left in peace! It's lovely :)

Except that my pals ignore me, too :/



sunshinemiss -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 5:15:59 PM)

Except that my pals ignore me, too :/


You sure about that?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 5:18:22 PM)

~my first mail here in weeks!! Squeeeee!



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 5:18:56 PM)

I'm either doing something terribly wrong or wonderfully right, depending on what you're after. I basically get no mail from anybody off the boards. I think I've gotten non-board related messages from two Doms. One wanted advice on finding a slave, and the other was offering me a substantial amount of money to do nude wrestling with men.

If it weren't for 4 people, my inbox would be pretty much empty, I'd still be on page 2.

Come to think of it, the HLH profile is much the same, we get very little mail from the profile side period.




PeonForHer -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 6:15:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

And sorry, don't let me stop you on your trip to Auntie Fluffy and Uncle Friendly, if you feel the need to answer pointless questions because somebody is a newbie, feel free, but for me that question is pointless, that's like asking if I have tea or coffee in the morning, unless he plans to bring me tea or coffee... Knowing how much mail we get, is going to change exactly what for him?


I am always friendly and fluffy, Lady C, and I'd suggest you refrain from arguing with me on that or you'll make me psychopathically angry.

I think it's good to know what a submale here's up against. I didn't quite believe it myself for some while - that it really was true that femdoms were getting six zillion cmails per week. Then I opened my own fictitious femdom's profile, and got flooded with messages within two or three days . . . . From a male's point of view it looked utterly insane. I couldn't keep up and closed it within a week. The submales using this site are often accused of whining about their lack of luck . . . this, after all, is the most fundamental reason why. Beyond even their often being ouanquers and self-centred 'feed-my-fantasy' types, I'd say.

OP - the bog standard advice here is absolutely true and can't be said often enough: you have to make your profile, and your first message to any woman, *stand out*. Show that you're capable of relating as an ordinary bloke, show that your fantasies are absolutely secondary to connecting with people in a *human* and *real* way, and don't be a boring bastard.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 6:51:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'm either doing something terribly wrong or wonderfully right, depending on what you're after. I basically get no mail from anybody off the boards. I think I've gotten non-board related messages from two Doms. One wanted advice on finding a slave, and the other was offering me a substantial amount of money to do nude wrestling with men.

If it weren't for 4 people, my inbox would be pretty much empty, I'd still be on page 2.

Come to think of it, the HLH profile is much the same, we get very little mail from the profile side period.

Couples profiles get very little mail full stop. And maybe Canadian lesbians are in the same boat. [8D]

(Speaking of which, check your inbox, lady!)



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 7:07:51 PM)

quote:

Couples profiles get very little mail full stop. And maybe Canadian lesbians are in the same boat.
Might be something to that, I guess we'll see when the playoffs are done. The boys will sober up and start thinking about girls again.

Personally I like to think its because my profile is masterfully written and just screams "I'm not interested." And the HLH one, it just says "I'm weird".



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 7:11:44 PM)

And I do think it's a stupid OP.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 7:24:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

Couples profiles get very little mail full stop. And maybe Canadian lesbians are in the same boat.
Might be something to that, I guess we'll see when the playoffs are done. The boys will sober up and start thinking about girls again.

Personally I like to think its because my profile is masterfully written and just screams "I'm not interested." And the HLH one, it just says "I'm weird".


I have had many variations of 'I am not interested', with varying degrees of weirdness and nastiness. None of them seem to help. :p



Nanako -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 7:29:00 PM)

I think this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask ^^

It's a matter of curiosity. Like many things are in life. Conversations on the whole would be awfully boring if people only ever exchanged knowledge that they expect to be put to a practical use.

The complaints about a flood of messages, are a problem that some groups of people won't ever suffer from. And random curiosity makes it interesting to understand what it's like to be in that unusual position. The OP may well have asked what period pains feel like. Equally useless information for him, but I'm sure someone who's never felt them, would find it interesting to know ^^

quote:


I really don't understand, I mean would you go up to somebody and ask "How many letters do you get per day or week?" or would you consider that a bit rude?

I agree with you here miss ^^ But please also note that he's not asking you, specifically. He's asking a public forum, and anyone who wishes to divulge that information, can do so. Anyone who wants to keep it private, can simply not post. Or post about how they're not going to tell ^^

I don't think it's rude to ask this question in public, though it would certainly be invasive and personal if asked of a specific person.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 7:31:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

I don't think it's rude to ask this question in public, though it would certainly be invasive and personal if asked of a specific person.

That's where we disagree. If it's inappropriate to ask in private then it's inappropriate to ask in public, imo.

Now I don't personally think it's a particularly inappropriate question to ask in either venue, but if it *was* an inappropriate question I'd think it was inappropriate full stop.



Nanako -> RE: A questions for female dommes about messages... (6/3/2011 7:56:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

I don't think it's rude to ask this question in public, though it would certainly be invasive and personal if asked of a specific person.

That's where we disagree. If it's inappropriate to ask in private then it's inappropriate to ask in public, imo.

Now I don't personally think it's a particularly inappropriate question to ask in either venue, but if it *was* an inappropriate question I'd think it was inappropriate full stop.


Hello miss ^^

I wonder, if you think that way, how do you reconcile it with the variety of threads about personal topics here. There are all kinds of threads on these boards asking about people's fetishes, preference in partners, health problems, etc, many of which I feel are rather personal. But when questions are asked openly, some will choose to respond informatively.

Just off the front page, I think this one provides a perfect example: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3695761/tm.htm
Sir focus is nice and eloquent, which is probably a large factor in why he gets nice answers, but ultimately the thread comes down to asking what you do in bed, which is among the most private subjects one can ask.

I think both are perfectly fine ^_^



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