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public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 3:34:40 PM

themerch

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Joined: 1/27/2010
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I have a what i think is a strange fetish. To be taken to a shopping centre and made to be embarrassed by a women in front of sales girls in places such as ann summers, make up stores, dress shops etc. for example made to buy sexy underwear and ensuring the sales girls know it is for me etc.

Sound wierd? and would it be a type of thing dominant women could enjoy, have a laugh at some ones expense in this way?

Post #: 1

RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 3:46:12 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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not a strange fetish. quite common, actually. But consider, if you will, the non consensuality of involving others who are not involved in your dynamic

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RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 3:51:11 PM

LanceHughes

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Most sales clerks have "seen it all" and would probably not bat an eye-lid.

Use the search feature and you'll find TONS of "humiliation" threads, most of which have greedy's question/statement in it.

CONGRATS to GT for getting the "typical" answer in so very, very early - as post # 2. You should get double (or triple) count added to your post count. Yeah, like that'll make a difference.

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RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 3:55:57 PM

GreedyTop

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*smoooches Lance* I wasnt thinking so much of sales clerks as I was other patrons.. gawd knows, working in CS, I've seen way more than I ever wanted as far as inappropriate behavior by guests..

*sigh*

back to sleepytime for me.. I gotta go deal with custmers for 8+ hrs in a while *ugh*

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Post #: 4

RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 5:23:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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It's not a strange fetish at all. Try the search box and see how often the word "humiliation" comes up on these boards.

Personally, I wouldn't be interested in what you describe. Humiliation is not something that I do casually, nor am I willing to involve a non consenting public. The following is a post that I put up over two years ago and I find it's the approach that I'm most comfortable with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

All of the above is why you don't want to go about this in this way. Here's a page out of the Dominant's Handbook. This is the part that happens behind the scenes that the boys who enjoy these kinds of humiliation games that they don't know until someone tells them.

When it comes to things like lingerie shopping, toy shopping, or any other situation that could be used to set up these little things, I tend to go to the same business over and over. I get to know the sales people. In the beginning, I'll drop a little hint that I happen to be a kinky person. This is usually pretty easy with the famous purse that looks like a stiletto boot bottom that has the chains on it. I see how that is received (most people love that thing) and go on from there. If they aren't receptive, I wish them a good day.

If they are receptive, I may discuss an idea a little more and I *ask* them if they would be willing to be a part of it. Some will and some won't. When I find those that will, I find out what days they work and what hours would be good to pull something like what I have in mind off. My little game shouldn't be done during their high customer hours, because I have no right to drive their business away. Before I leave, and this is important, I tip them and I tip them well.

All of this happens before the boy has ever stepped one foot inside the lingerie shop or the toy store to buy that dildo. I've already done the set up and he doesn't have a clue. I'm not involving someone behind the counter that doesn't want to be. Sometimes, you get really lucky and find someone who actually enjoys being a part of all this.

And that's what you should be aiming for, OP. An actual Dominant woman who is going to enjoy playing these kinds of games with you. Not some random chick who will write you a note for an assignment.

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Post #: 5

RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 8:02:50 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I am not into humiliation as such. I sure have taken crossdressers shopping, though! It was fun, and they got a thrill out of it. No scenes were created, and the nonconsensual public was not involved.

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RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 8:50:48 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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I'm a bit surprised by all of the comments about including the non-consenting public. This is a pretty vanilla scenario that's been described.

I've been forced to go shopping for "embarrassing" items, and I've never seen a sales person act the least bit surprised. It's just a person shopping for items. What's so offensive about that? I didn't hear anyone insinuate that the lingerie would be modeled in the store or anything like that. So what's the big deal?

I actually happen to own a clothing store, and if one of my employees was rude to a customer, or acted like they didn't want to help the customer, I'd probably fire him/her. I don't care what the customer wants to buy. It's not the sales person's business. Their job is to help the customer find the appropriate merchandise and close the sale. Period!

I don't care if it's a man shopping for tampons to stick up his butt. My employees had better help him find the best tampons to meet his needs. That's their job!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: public humiliation? - 6/8/2011 8:54:16 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I have never had an issue with a sales person. What I do want to avoid is any BS from citizens, so there will NOT be modeling of the lingerie out in the store, though I will hold it up to you for color/style. I will not insist that a male be allowed into a general fitting room area. Common sense stuff.

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RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 9:24:12 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I have never had an issue with a sales person. What I do want to avoid is any BS from citizens, so there will NOT be modeling of the lingerie out in the store, though I will hold it up to you for color/style. I will not insist that a male be allowed into a general fitting room area. Common sense stuff.

I agree with this, Lady Hibiscus. So long as he's not modeling bras and panties in the middle of the store, I just don't see why anyone would view this as offensive in any way.

Some of the earlier messages seemed to imply that even shopping for items was "involving the non-consenting public". I just don't agree with that. What about guys who are crossdressers? Are they not supposed to shop for clothing? Otter hasn't chimed in on this discussion, but I'd love to hear his perspective on whether he feels like he's infringing upon the rights of others when he goes shopping.

We've argued the topic on this site before, so most people know that I believe that some people on this site are far too conservative in their views of what constitutes "involving the non-consenting public". In this particular case, I think the scenario described is fairly non-offensive.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/9/2011 9:58:47 AM >

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Post #: 9

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 10:17:57 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: themerch

I have a what i think is a strange fetish. To be taken to a shopping centre and made to be embarrassed by a women in front of sales girls in places such as ann summers, make up stores, dress shops etc. for example made to buy sexy underwear and ensuring the sales girls know it is for me etc.

Sound wierd?

OP,
As others have said, your fantasy doesn't sound weird at all. In fact, it's quite common.

The one concern that I would share with you is that you need to be careful of how you communicate your fantasy. Some Dommes who are really into humiliation play don't get as excited about playing with guys who actually WANT to receive the act that is supposed to be humiliating.

For example, is she really humiliating you if she makes you do something that you're practically begging her to make you do? It's no different from male subs who beg their domme to "force" them to suck another man's cock. How is it "forced" when he asked (or even begged) her to make him do it?

So someone who truly wants to humiliate you might prefer to do so by making you do something that you DON'T want to do. After all, wouldn't that be far more humiliating than "forcing" you to do something that you really want to do anyway?

(in reply to themerch)

Post #: 10

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 10:27:42 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I am pretty conservative on the subject, Roch. My philosophy on this one is that My right to kink ends where the other person's right to their personal comfort level begin. While I'll agree with you that it's your employees job to assist a customer in the store with their purchases and such, I've honestly got no desire to go in there and make Myself the worst part of their day. I'm not willing to deliberately make someone uncomfortable for the sake of My kink. Whether you're paying them or not, I don't have the right to come into your store and go out of My way to upset them.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 11

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 10:47:29 AM

Sekhemet

Posts: 127
Joined: 7/10/2004
From: Canada
Status: offline

Most males feel doing things such as BUYING MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS is humilliating and I have never ever heard a concern for "public view" of a male toting a box of feminine hygiene products. MAKEUP is sold in drug and cosmetic stores and is NOT considered fetish items and yet IS ...
MY QUESTION IS ...
WHY do you people covet someone else's rights - so much more than your own?
WHY do you assume they will find any degree of discomfort in your even being there?
HOW is it sensible to assume such as rights and comforts - with a complete stranger?
WHO is responsible for enforcing community norms, and really who cares if they are broken?
WHAT consequence is there ... and why do you assume there will even be any?

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT ... WHY is it ABUSE if you beat your spouse; but if you're wearing leather pants, or a corset it's D/s and thus "ok" - We all break community norms constantly - and norms depends upon the community you are emeshed IN - go to a mall and watch for awhile and those of you who profess to being naysayers would discover this is NOT a D/s dynamic but a issue of PRIVILEDGE, ENTITLEMENT, SOCIAL POSITION, and POWER ... a parent will do this to a child 40x a day without thinking twice. Men do it to women constantly without realizing or even knowing they've done it ... it happens between cultures and it's GLOBAL - so truly people ... WHAT are you all on about? Does the boy with his pants around his lower hips worry about YOUR COMFORT LEVEL? Does the girl with her tits half out worry about YOUR morality? Does the muslim worry about "offending you?" ... ok so WHERE are you all coming from and WHY?

I'd get him to buy Me menstrual items ... makeup while trying it on him and all the rest and I wouldn't bat an eyelash, have concern for a public sector clerk, or ask permission to behave however I'd prefer and INDEED slave wears its collar out while we shop every time and no one has EVER made any comment about how it is treated, how it responds, or the fact it is wearing D/s items - either when we are there, or when I return alone - I think MOST of you are projecting ASSUMED positions onto people who may not have that position at all. In MY experience spanning a couple of decades I have NEVER been asked to refrain I have however been asked about D/s, about slave, and about the lifestyle - to ME this is a method of possible education, enlightenment and actual contact with interested vanillas who may not otherwise have opportunity to investigate or who find they are are stuck in the cultural projection of an ideal (stereotype), or feel uneducated enough to express their interest somewhere like here.
In summation - CHILL - enjoy life and really stop worrying what other people think as you will discover in time the bulk of them - don't.
XxoxX

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Post #: 12

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 10:56:29 AM

VaguelyCurious

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Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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I don't think anyone who uses that many CAPITALISED RANDOM WORDS gets to tell anyone else to chill.

Feel better now?

OP: you're neither weird nor unusual. It's a standard fantasy.

And not to burst your bubble but I've sent men to buy underwear quite a few times (once for kink, many times for dressing up purposes and occasionally for me as a vanilla favour if they're headed past the shop) and nobody's ever batted an eyelid.

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Post #: 13

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 11:14:12 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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Sekhemet,
I agree with you. Like I said, this is a conversation that we've had plenty of times on here, and I've determined that it's best to simply agree to disagree. I have never been able to convert anyone to my point of view, and they won't convert me to theirs.

But I think you used some great examples. I hate seeing young men with their pants down so low that their underwear shows. It's offensive to me. But I can't make them stop, and they never take my feelings into consideration.

I hate it when cars drive by with their music playing so loud that my car vibrates when they pull up next to me. Yet they never think about my feelings.

So why is a guy simply buying a few items in a store such a terrible offense? As I mentioned in my earlier post, I do understand why most people (including me) wouldn't want him to publicly model the bra and panties. But simply buying them should be no problem. I've purchased women's underwear at Victoria's Secret as a gift for a woman before. How is that any different? I'm a guy buying women's underwear.

But different people have different levels of comfort with different situations, so I guess everyone has to do what makes them feel comfortable.

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 14

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 11:33:54 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Wow, you're all over the place there. I hardly know where to begin.

My position is that I'm the Dominant of My submissive. Not the entire world. While it would be really cool for everybody to think and feel the same way that I do on these issues, the truth is that they don't. They have the right to have their own beliefs and feelings, which it isn't My place to attempt to circumvent that. The kids with his ass hanging out of his jeans who doesn't have the courtesy for others enough to pull his pants up doesn't give Me license to try to reach his level of obnoxious. That's like saying that other people are behaving just as bad, Mom, so I can do it, too. My level of conduct is set by My standards. Not because other people might have lower ones. The fact that they don't care has nothing to do with the fact that I happen to.

The goth folks actually did us a huge favor on the collar issue. We've had very little issue about clip wearing his leather collar in public. We have been asked about it on occasion, which has generally turned out well. For his job, the leather collar still isn't appropriate, so he wears a simple chain with a lock on it.

Since I happen to be rather conservative Myself, I don't happen to feel that I have the entitlement over the general public. Living My life the way that I choose doesn't also mean that I get to shove it down the throats of other people. What favor am I doing the business owner who is accommodating Me, but I'm costing him customers in the process? Do you think that there aren't some folks who would turn right around and leave the shop because others are feeling their sense of "entitlement" by doing whatever it is that they feel they have the "right" to do? I've walked out of shops because I didn't like what was happening on the premises. I have every reason to believe that other people do, too.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Sekhemet)

Post #: 15

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 11:34:40 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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the difference being, Roch, that as a femdom sending a malesub (oh hell, even a femsub!) to do soemthing that is culturally odd (for the area).. I HAVE some control over the actions of the sumissive.

I do NOT have control of the kids with his jeans falling off his ass, or the idiot that feels it's ok to destroy his own hearing , and that of anyone else within 50 yards of his 200.00 vehicle (with the 10k dollar sound system).

I hope this made sense..

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Post #: 16

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 11:35:23 AM

PeonForHer

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009I've purchased women's underwear at Victoria's Secret as a gift for a woman before. How is that any different? I'm a guy buying women's underwear.

Likewise, so long as I know the size, it's not a problem. Also tampons - just another item to me; used to buy them for my ex now and then without a thought. Can't stand buying perfume, though: the beauty sections of department stores stink to high heaven and all the assistants seem to have slapped on their make-up with a trowel. Loathsome experience.

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RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 11:38:09 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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I so agree with you, Peon...

*shudder* it's a BAD place!!

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Post #: 18

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 12:36:08 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: themerch

I have a what i think is a strange fetish. To be taken to a shopping centre and made to be embarrassed by a women in front of sales girls in places such as ann summers, make up stores, dress shops etc. for example made to buy sexy underwear and ensuring the sales girls know it is for me etc.

Sound wierd? and would it be a type of thing dominant women could enjoy, have a laugh at some ones expense in this way?

I'm into the public humiliation thing myself (though it's like mustard to me: a little of it goes a long way). Fortunately, there are any number of things that one can find humiliating without anyone else even noticing. Or, if they do notice, they'll unfailingly enjoy what they see. Imagine if your partner told you to dye your hair pink, hop along the road, or bark like a dog. Who'd care? In the UK, you do things like that, you immediately become invisible anyway.

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Post #: 19

RE: public humiliation? - 6/9/2011 1:21:20 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I am pretty conservative on the subject, Roch. My philosophy on this one is that My right to kink ends where the other person's right to their personal comfort level begin. While I'll agree with you that it's your employees job to assist a customer in the store with their purchases and such, I've honestly got no desire to go in there and make Myself the worst part of their day. I'm not willing to deliberately make someone uncomfortable for the sake of My kink. Whether you're paying them or not, I don't have the right to come into your store and go out of My way to upset them.

Lady Pact,
I think you don't give them enough credit for what they've seen before. Anyone who has worked in retail knows that you see a little bit of everything. You can't stay in retail unless you have very tough skin.

The people who are "the worst part of our day" are the shoplifters.......And the people who complain about the price of EVERY item that they look at......Or the people who won't stop talking on their cellphone while they're at the checkout counter, and they're holding up the entire line because they're taking too long to pay for their merchandise......Or the people who come in and take up 2 hours of our time and try on everything in the store, and then ask us to write all of the items down for them so they can go home and buy them cheaper on-line. Or the people who get their pre-school age children to steal merchandise for them. Or the people who complain that we don't have anything that fits them, even though they weigh 400 lbs. THOSE are the people who ruin our day at retail.

But the people who come in and are a bit different, well that's the fun part of our day. I love the gay midgets who come into the store. Or the men that come into the store to shop, and halfway through their shopping, we realize that they're actually women. Or the guy whose wife bosses him around and belittles him the entire time they're in the store. Or the guy with body odor so bad that it makes us want to puke, yet we have to maintain a smile and help him find the merchandise that he wants. Those are the fun parts of the day. When those people walk out of the store, we all have a nice big laugh. Anything that's a little different, or comical actually makes the day better, not worse.

So if you came in with your male sub to buy ladies underwear for him, nobody would be offended. And you wouldn't ruin their day. What you would do is give them something to laugh about and tell their colleagues about. You'd actually make their day better, not worse.

I can respect your desire to not offend. But I really don't think you have to worry about that. Ask anyone who works in retail. They'll tell you. We see the worst sides of humanity, and a little kink is not even close to the worst side.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/9/2011 1:28:27 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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