RE: Full Control (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 10:18:33 AM)

We all come at this for different reasons, look around at the patrons the next time you are in a nice restaurant. Some are all dressed up for each other, some are dressed up to impress others, some are eating because they are hungry, some eating less so they don't look like pigs even if they will eat later, some are exploring fine food for the first time, others are regulars.

Kink is no different. There is a certain energy a woman must have to interest me, a certain way of seeing kink, sex, and relationships. I want a classy elegant woman, someone who is into hot nasty, even degrading sex but who comes at it from a very healthy and secure place. Someone who is hard to get to submit for other men, not easy for me, but that we both get hot when I DO get them to do so.

I have had "real" submissive women, women who only want to do whatever I want and I get bored. If all they are interested in doing is challenging me, that too becomes boring.

I don't care what their kinks are because I will bend and twist them to suit me and if they don't like the things I like, if the energy is right, I can train them.

Perfect example is squimishness. Women who are very squimish won't work for me because they don't have the right energy to train to do what I want with the emotional reaction I want them to have. Licking cum off my boots will never get their cunts wet, cleaning my cock after I raped them will make them go "ick" because it is such a core reaction.

I have no idea if this is clear to anyone but me but there it is.



juliaoceania -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 10:37:06 AM)

quote:

Now, I would not mind exploring some of these dark side fantasies of mine with somebody, however I also want the abilitiy to shut it the fuck down if I feel it's rather much. The case in point with slutty gangbang girls. While I can wrap my mind around it, and be cool about actually doing it. It's something that I know, I'd want to be in control of. Also, I know myself that I just might want to shut it down completely. I would prefer to be with somebody that would allow me to have the control to do it or not do. As opposed to somebody who insists upon having this thier way.


I have read many profiles of men that want a "pig" that they can share with others. I assumed when I read this that they desired someone that would let them do this to them.... someone who in fact enjoyed it. To them it is like flogging someone would be to you. It is an essential kink for them...who knows why, but there it is....

What you are saying is that if a submissive is not willing to forgo the things that get her off, then she isn't really submissive. Well, that's all cool and stuff, but in my mind a dominant that would want to deprive a submissive of something that she craves isn't much of a dom.. at least he wouldn't be for me.

If it is about controlling the situation in which a gang bang happens, that is one thing, if it is saying that the submissive that really digs this can't have it again because you said so, I would wonder what YOUR motivation was to deprive her.

quote:

I've had mere fuck toys in the past, and it was rather hollow. I actually take delight in other things, take pleasure in other things. Which is part of where the rubber is hitting the road with me. In regards to fixations upon fetishes or whatever else. The whole prisoner fixation, the Milkcow! The ones that want to be a Human Cow. Simply not my tastes. Sort of train wrecks Role playing other things out, when one is stuck on that mode. It's not very diverse nor interesting. Kind of ummmm... Okay COW!! Master wants you to be a Puppy for the day! Master stares down at the Horrified Look in the Milk Cows eyes! The collisions of wants, desires and interests colliding! Master reaches down and removes the Bell from the Milk Cows neck. Her eyes fall to the fall, trembles with fear over what is happening. Thus the downward spiral begins.


This is why fetishist belong with other fetishist, but just because they are fetishist does not mean they are not also dominant or submissive in nature.



quote:

Look mom, I just tossed out an example of something without it being an Intense DARK Twisted Fantasy!! So your lines of thinking in regards to me pushing for DARK Fantasies is not correct. Do you see or better understand where I am coming from?


No, I do not. I think that the person who said "Some people are just not for you" would be about right. Those people are good for others. You should focus on what you want and what would suit you.....kinda like the three-hole slut gal did.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 10:46:48 AM)

SimplyMicheal,
It actually is rather clear to me. My past experiences with extremely submissive s types, I have found myself getting rather bored. I actually enjoy somebody that has interests of their own to which I can tap into and find enjoyment on the mental level. I find intelligence & creativity to be extremely pleasurable. That everything being sexual or kink driven without these other things... well, becomes rather dull dull dull. The mental Fornification factor is a must for me.

Somebody that's constantly challenging me, it's taxing to my soul, anything but relaxing and personally I hate it. It might find little burst of it desirable. If it's centered around a lot of small things, it's way too much nit picking and gets on my nerves. If it's over a lot of big things, it's time to toss them the boat anchor and be done with it. Deep 6 the relationship, dating or the whole getting to know one another stage.

I love the response that somebody has to things. If they are into it, I'm really turned on and totally into it. If however they look more disquested like a wet puppy that was caught in a rain storm. I stop for a moment, with disappointment and I'm off to exploring other things to find the reactions I'm looking for. The kind of reactions that I take pleasure in.

It might sound odd, but often it's not the activities themselves that I'm excieted about. It's the reactions and interaction itself that comes out of it with another person. This is where I find and take pleasure the most. Be it giving somebody a body massage, flogging them, Taking a Wooden Paddle. Dare I say it! My Sadistic side thrives like a little bastard with a Masochist. My Sadistic side however get's bored and wants to go back inside the bottle with somebody that ain't into it. That is if I was attracted to hurting them to begin with.

I Love versitile fun things, to not be stuck or caught up in a rut. To me a Milk Cow, or a Puppy or etc.. just screams the trapping of a rut. So I guess I'm a heartless mean bastard. I'm okay with this title for the day. But I'm a loving Heartless mean Judgemental Bastard. I mean nobody any true harm.






SimplyMichael -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 11:30:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It might sound odd, but often it's not the activities themselves that I'm excieted about. It's the reactions and interaction itself that comes out of it with another person. This is where I find and take pleasure the most.


This!

I wish she would post more on this side, she really could add a lot of intelligent insight into threads like this, even if she only related her experience with others.

I have never had any interest in playing with steel chain till my partner and I did so. It was her reaction and then our interaction as we fed off of each other that sunk the hook of a brand new fetish for me.

This is also why most kink porn does nothing for me. Watching other people do stuff bores the hell out of me, however when there is that woman at your feet and that reaction and interaction is flying, its ON!



agirl -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 12:11:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

It might sound odd, but often it's not the activities themselves that I'm excieted about. It's the reactions and interaction itself that comes out of it with another person. This is where I find and take pleasure the most.


This!

I wish she would post more on this side, she really could add a lot of intelligent insight into threads like this, even if she only related her experience with others.

I have never had any interest in playing with steel chain till my partner and I did so. It was her reaction and then our interaction as we fed off of each other that sunk the hook of a brand new fetish for me.

This is also why most kink porn does nothing for me. Watching other people do stuff bores the hell out of me, however when there is that woman at your feet and that reaction and interaction is flying, its ON!


Ditto regarding a lot of the strange things we've done over years.

I'm not driven by bdsm anything like as much as M is, but he somehow has me right on board because it's the interaction when we are there, in the midst of it, that drives it, not the activity.

By the same token, the most mundane of things just aren't mundane when he's involved...JUST because HE'S involved and because we are M/s.

Neither of us has anything that we MUST have in any bdsm sense.........but we DO need to have the M/s. With that there, the world is your playground.

agirl





HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 1:10:09 PM)

I admit I am a little confused as to just what this thread is about. You start out basically saying you want full control, that you want to decide everything, and you complain about subs who have desires of their own.
And you also complain that mere fucktoys are boring and hollow. You say you enjoy exploring dark places in your minds together.

Which do you want? A sub with no preset requirements who will allow you do decide/dictate everything, or do you want a sub with desires and fantasies of her own to explore and fulfill? You've said you want and don't want both types in this thread, so I'm confused as to what it is you are trying to say.



DesFIP -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 2:32:01 PM)

The op read a profile by a single sub who listed her kinks to make sure she found someone compatible with her. That's  the right thing to do, it lessens the pool of potential but it does help you find someone who likes what you like. And that's important.

Now he's got his nose in a snit because this sub doesn't want TPE and how dare any female subs not want to be enslaved to the OP. About all I can say is "grow up, it's not all about you". Either both people in a relationship are happy or neither of them are.

Plus, someone who is only a bedroom submissive has as much right to be here, and seek what she wants, as someone who wants to serve 24/7, who is happiest scrubbing the floor. Lots of us aren't into service, and we find people who are capable of cleaning up after themselves instead of looking for a maid to clean their sty.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:03:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The op read a profile by a single sub who listed her kinks to make sure she found someone compatible with her. That's  the right thing to do, it lessens the pool of potential but it does help you find someone who likes what you like. And that's important.

Now he's got his nose in a snit because this sub doesn't want TPE and how dare any female subs not want to be enslaved to the OP. About all I can say is "grow up, it's not all about you". Either both people in a relationship are happy or neither of them are.

Plus, someone who is only a bedroom submissive has as much right to be here, and seek what she wants, as someone who wants to serve 24/7, who is happiest scrubbing the floor. Lots of us aren't into service, and we find people who are capable of cleaning up after themselves instead of looking for a maid to clean their sty.



DesFIP, it's more than just a single sub profile (or did you miss that?) Actually your comprehension of what I was Expressing is rather off. Dare I say...Extremely Fucking off in some regards. Plus I never said, anybody did not have the right to BE HERE! Seriously!! I did not Express shit the way you are making it out to be right now! You reads things out of context here without reading other things. Seriously, I did not express everything is all about me either. Mind you I did write about things coming from FULL CONTROL or TPE perspective, but those concepts can be rather Scary in themselves for some people. TPE or FULL CONTROL does not mean that it's all about the DOM/OWNER/MASTER.

You Know what DesFIP, I'm not ashamed to own it to not wanting some submissive or slave stuck up on a some limited ROLE giving Limited Service.. or somebody that OFFERS little themselves because they are too Shallow, Limited or otherwise impaired to be a full human being! (THIS IS MY FRUSTRATION, which you seem to not be able to grasp at what I was trying to express).

Why the HELL would I have to say... Oh Gee.. all these Prisoner Submissives are Truely submissive when they have some PrePlanned Notion about this being Serving somebody, when in fact it not. Then again, you seem to be missing the point I'm trying to make.

Let's reverse the coin for a moment! What if it was a DOM that was a FARMER looking to only use a submissive as a Milk Cow. What if it's a DOM that's a WARDEN only looking for a Prisoner? Rather Limited for most submissives would you not agree?? Tell me... if you were looking at DOM profiles and you kept seeing these kind of limited DOM/Master/Owners that wanted something Extremely Specific... where it was not centered on the Relationship itself but Rather some Fetish they were HUNG UP on.. Would you not Question things? In respect to it being Domiance Driven or Fetish Driven Wants and Desires.














juliaoceania -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:11:54 PM)

quote:

You Know what DesFIP, I'm not ashamed to own it to not wanting some submissive or slave stuck up on a some limited ROLE giving Limited Service.. or somebody that OFFERS little themselves because they are too Shallow, Limited or otherwise impaired to be a full human being! (THIS IS MY FRUSTRATION, which you seem to not be able to grasp at what I was trying to express).


Here is one of my not-so-popular opinions.... service takes many forms, and people who are not of service to others at all are shallow, limited, and otherwise impaired. This is not limited to submissives, mind you.

quote:

Why the HELL would I have to say... Oh Gee.. all these Prisoner Submissives are Truely submissive when they have some PrePlanned Notion about this being Serving somebody, when in fact it not. Then again, you seem to be missing the point I'm trying to make.


I do not think having a certain sexual proclivity, like being a three-hole-slut, precludes people from being submissive. I have MANY preplanned fantasies floating around in my noggin, some I might wanna try, others are just fun to think about. If I were involved with a man like you, your attitude towards my sexuality would completely keep me from expressing my fantasies.

I have been in such relationships where I could not express my sexuality, and I vowed never again... I might as well go back to being vanilla if I am going to be deprived of honest sexual communication.

To me this is what makes D/s beautiful, that I can be myself with my partner, not hide my slutty thoughts, fantasies, and even talk about the things I have actually done in the past.... life is too short to be with someone who is so worried about their Domliness that they miss out on who I am as their submissive, including all the little things I have hidden from everyone else.

Lord knows I spend enough of my time trying to please my partner that if they weren't interested in pleasing me back, it just ain't going to work



gungadin09 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:18:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Today, I saw a profile by a submissive that is looking for somebody to accept who and what she is. That she's a three hole slut that's into gang bangs and more... So perhaps, I'm being a judgemental bastard here, but what I was reading on the profile really did not sound all that submissive in nature. Sure she knows what she wants and likes. I don't find fault with that. But clearly, it does not resonate with submitting to somebody rather more like finding somebody that's accepting of her kink/sexual desires.


Out of curiosity, would You feel differently about it if what she wanted her potential Dominant to accept about her had nothing to do with kink? If she had said, for example, i'm a very honest person, and i need You to accept that about me, or, i'm very focused on my career and i need You to accept that about me?

The submissive giving the Dominant a list of kinks and demanding that they be catered to- that wouldn't have been my definition of "submission" either, but i think we all (or, most of us?) have things we *won't* do and things we *need* from our partners, and no less so because it's BDSM. i can tell You that honesty is on my list of must haves in a partner, and i would expect anyone who would be my Dominant to accept the fact that i find social interaction very draining and i need a lot of down time afterwards.

i don't think You're a judgemental bastard or a mean hard-ass, i just think You know what it is You're looking for. Is it so wrong for a submissive to know that as well?

pam



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:22:29 PM)

Dominance/submissive Driven VS Fetish Driven.
I think this sums up the difference I have an issue over.

The concept I think applies to both sides of the coin. How many submissives would be interested in a Dom that was into being Nothing but a FARMER for a MILK COW? A PIMP for WHORING them Out? A Warden/jailer looking for a Prisoner? A Puppy Dog Breeder? How about, let's see what's a good Fetish somebody might be fixated upon here. Somebody Looking for a Toilet Slave and that alone? Come on here "s" types what's your thoughts on Dominants wanting these limited things? Don't you find they are more Diven by Fetish as opposed to being Driven by Dominance instead?

Boo Boo... I'm being a big bad meany Dom for calling into the Question the submissive nature vs. a Fetish/Kink fixation. I'm a big bad mean heartless Dom that has a stick up his ass. That I'm rather not being realistic or something here in my expectations regarding what submission should be more about, compared to a Fixation upon a Fetish/Kink.

I think Fetish and Kinks are OKAY! I not have an issue with it!! However, let's call it for more of what it really is...and not think of it as being well.. So much along the lines of true D/s. In my Book of True D/s. If the Dom is boss instead of a Fetish Delivery Device. Where as the very Moment they Stop being the Fetish Delivery Device the relationship goes to Hell in a hand basket. Thats seems rather shallow to me if anything. Okay Honey! Daddy decided today that he's gonna stop Pimping you out...and then relationship ends because the little whorish slut is no longer getting her way! Really, does not sound all that D/s to me. (Sorry, or perhaps not sorry in what I'm expressing here).



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:29:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Today, I saw a profile by a submissive that is looking for somebody to accept who and what she is. That she's a three hole slut that's into gang bangs and more... So perhaps, I'm being a judgemental bastard here, but what I was reading on the profile really did not sound all that submissive in nature. Sure she knows what she wants and likes. I don't find fault with that. But clearly, it does not resonate with submitting to somebody rather more like finding somebody that's accepting of her kink/sexual desires.


Out of curiosity, would You feel differently about it if what she wanted her potential Dominant to accept about her had nothing to do with kink? If she had said, for example, i'm a very honest person, and i need You to accept that about me, or, i'm very focused on my career and i need You to accept that about me?

The submissive giving the Dominant a list of kinks and demanding that they be catered to- that wouldn't have been my definition of "submission" either, but i think we all (or, most of us?) have things we *won't* do and things we *need* from our partners, and no less so because it's BDSM. i can tell You that honesty is on my list of must haves in a partner, and i would expect anyone who would be my Dominant to accept the fact that i find social interaction very draining and i need a lot of down time afterwards.

i don't think You're a judgemental bastard or a mean hard-ass, i just think You know what it is You're looking for. Is it so wrong for a submissive to know that as well?

pam


To indulge your curosity! I'm accepting of somebody focused upon a career. It's not some fixation/fetish that limits the relationship itself. The honest person part, that's an A+ in my book as well. I'm actually the kind of person, that encourages Hobbies and Education and Creative things. Those things do not limit nor should interfer with the relationship itself. Keep in mind that Submissives seeking to be locked away in bed rooms and chained up 24/7 clearly are expressing a desire to have no interest in a Career, let alone any hobbies. If anything if that's their idea of Serving somebody they are Nuts. Perhaps serving a DOM that is fixated upon being somebody's Jailer. But this becomes more about Living out a Fetish or fixation, and it's rather limited.



juliaoceania -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:31:55 PM)

quote:

The concept I think applies to both sides of the coin. How many submissives would be interested in a Dom that was into being Nothing but a FARMER for a MILK COW? A PIMP for WHORING them Out? A Warden/jailer looking for a Prisoner? A Puppy Dog Breeder? How about, let's see what's a good Fetish somebody might be fixated upon here. Somebody Looking for a Toilet Slave and that alone? Come on here "s" types what's your thoughts on Dominants wanting these limited things? Don't you find they are more Diven by Fetish as opposed to being Driven by Dominance instead?


Did you talk to the three hole slut about why she made her profile the way that she did? Or did you assume she was fetish driven? I think one needs to talk with people before they can tell which it is one way or another. I might put that on my profile if I had a strong desire to have it as a part of my sex life, especially if other dominants had rejected me in the past for it. It would be like telling people up front I had a weight problem, or I had little kids, or any other number of things that might cause someone to pass on me. Better to get it out there.

On my profile I state unequivocally that I seek a daddy dom dynamic... not an age play dynamic, a daddy dom dynamic. That is the kind of authority I thrive under. Best to get it out there so not to waste someone's time that wants TPE


Before I fully embraced my submissive side I had a relationship with a pantyhose fetishist that could tell how submissive I am. He used that to get his fetish satisfied. I got bored. So, yes, I do understand the concept of being fetish driven. I do not believe that a dominant or a submissive can't have fetishes AND be into D/s... the two are not mutually exclusive. If the pantyhose guy had been a dominant it may have worked out, but he wasn't.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:37:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I do not think having a certain sexual proclivity, like being a three-hole-slut, precludes people from being submissive. I have MANY preplanned fantasies floating around in my noggin, some I might wanna try, others are just fun to think about. If I were involved with a man like you, your attitude towards my sexuality would completely keep me from expressing my fantasies.

I have been in such relationships where I could not express my sexuality, and I vowed never again... I might as well go back to being vanilla if I am going to be deprived of honest sexual communication.

To me this is what makes D/s beautiful, that I can be myself with my partner, not hide my slutty thoughts, fantasies, and even talk about the things I have actually done in the past.... life is too short to be with someone who is so worried about their Domliness that they miss out on who I am as their submissive, including all the little things I have hidden from everyone else.

Lord knows I spend enough of my time trying to please my partner that if they weren't interested in pleasing me back, it just ain't going to work


Julia... it might strike you odd.. to know that I'm actually very Open minded about sexuality itself including fantasies and desires. I have no problem going there. However, if you insisted upon being nothing more than a Gang Bang slut, and just that alone. That's where I'd start to have issues. The same would hold true, if you decided all you wanted to be was a Human Cow. Are you starting to see where I'm coming from? I'm actually extremely open minded to trying or doing many things.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:46:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Did you talk to the three hole slut about why she made her profile the way that she did? Or did you assume she was fetish driven? I think one needs to talk with people before they can tell which it is one way or another. I might put that on my profile if I had a strong desire to have it as a part of my sex life, especially if other dominants had rejected me in the past for it. It would be like telling people up front I had a weight problem, or I had little kids, or any other number of things that might cause someone to pass on me. Better to get it out there.

On my profile I state unequivocally that I seek a daddy dom dynamic... not an age play dynamic, a daddy dom dynamic. That is the kind of authority I thrive under. Best to get it out there so not to waste someone's time that wants TPE

Before I fully embraced my submissive side I had a relationship with a pantyhose fetishist that could tell how submissive I am. He used that to get his fetish satisfied. I got bored. So, yes, I do understand the concept of being fetish driven. I do not believe that a dominant or a submissive can't have fetishes AND be into D/s... the two are not mutually exclusive. If the pantyhose guy had been a dominant it may have worked out, but he wasn't.

Okay, well then you understand where I'm coming from based on your own experience with somebody fixated upon a fetish. :-)

Now this might shock you! But there's a lot that I'm into doing or trying and even exploring more. I'm not limited nor hung up on specific things, or rather fixated upon single things. Life is too short! (sigh).



analyticalmaster -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:48:21 PM)

I think I will toss in my two cents as this bothers me too.  The problem is of course labels, we must have them, but they lead to misunderstanding.  I filter out subs that give me a big long list of what their "needs" are.  All that tells me is they are not about service.  People in this lifestyle tend to come into two big camps, the BDSM people, that is the bdsm is the focus of their lives, I dont think of them as Doms or subs and certainly not as Masters and slaves, they are Tops and bottoms, and all they are concerned about is the play.  Nothing wrong with that, they are the two sides of the same coin to one another.

I will put it this way, in my world view, most Doms and Masters are Tops, but the majority of Tops are not Doms and Masters, even though they call themselves that.  For some reason, the girl who wants to be taken home for the weekend, beaten and fucked well, then go home and find someone new next weekend, wants to call herself a submissive or a slave, she is nowhere even close.  While being submissive or a slave can and in fact usually does have a high sexual component it is not fundamentally what she is about, she seeks to serve, she seeks to please, she seeks to be of use to someone worthy of her use.  Same applies to the majority of men calling themselves Dom or Master they simply want their playmates however they can get them and that is all that really matters to them.  Of course people can call themselves anything they please, but in my universe a top is a top and a master is something else and trust me being a slave is in no way similar to being a bottom.  Again most bottoms are neither submissive and especially not slaves, but most submissives and slaves are bottoms.  They are two different things, only to those on the outside looking in would they appear to be the same.

Tops and bottoms belong to the mainstream BDSM world, it is about play and parties, it all about getting your rocks off however you see fit.  Again nothing wrong with that, I like to play too.  But D/s and especially M/s is about family, it isn't something you do, it is something you live.   I want to know what works for my slaves, because knowing what makes them who they are, allows me to get into their heads and and take them and myself places most people will never experience.  We tend to use BDSM techniques to get there, but BDSM is a tool not an end in itself. 

So if you are a bottom or a Top, be that.  Be honest with yourself and with others.  A Master is a guy who will cuddle his slave because she is ill, he will cook and yes even clean when he has too, because a true slave is a pearl beyond price, she will give everything she has, she will go to any length to be his.  Trust me when I say if you ever have that, nothing else even comes close.  He sure will not say fuck her, there's another one around the corner because there isn't. 





sunshinemiss -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 3:51:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

Dominance/submissive Driven VS Fetish Driven.
I think this sums up the difference I have an issue over.

I think Fetish and Kinks are OKAY! I not have an issue with it!! However, let's call it for more of what it really is...and not think of it as being well.. So much along the lines of true D/s. In my Book of True D/s. If the Dom is boss instead of a Fetish Delivery Device. Where as the very Moment they Stop being the Fetish Delivery Device the relationship goes to Hell in a hand basket. Thats seems rather shallow to me if anything. Okay Honey! Daddy decided today that he's gonna stop Pimping you out...and then relationship ends because the little whorish slut is no longer getting her way! Really, does not sound all that D/s to me. (Sorry, or perhaps not sorry in what I'm expressing here).



Look Whiplash,
Nothing but love, but how are people supposed to do this here?  THERE IS NO "BOTTOM" OR "TOP" choice.  Are those of us who are NOT interested in D/S supposed to leave?  On my profile, it says "submissive."  Why?  because it's as close as I can get to what is true.  Sorry that frustrates you.  But even here, we have to work with what we've got.

Look, real relationships include compromise - even for the domly types.  Sometimes that means,  yes, you will be a fetish delivery system - if you care about the person on the other side of things.  If not, you and your friendly girls Rosey DePalma and her five sisters can just go along merrily.

best,
sunshine




littlewonder -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:04:44 PM)

I so don't understand this thread.

Just simply sounds like a compatibility issue to me.

You would be completely bored by me since I'm the type of person who simply obeys...there's no challenge with me. Thankfully Master likes the obedience that I offer. And as for fetishes and kinks, mine is power and service. I found a man who has the same ones.

See how easy that is?

Sure it took me 8 long years to find him in a sea of men on here who are absolutely nothing at all that I was seeking, not even close but ya know, I stuck it out, kept clicking on profiles and emails and hitting delete quite a lot to the point I thought I had pretty much gone through every single profile on this site. Thankfully though all it took was ONE.




gungadin09 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:10:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
To indulge your curosity! I'm accepting of somebody focused upon a career. It's not some fixation/fetish that limits the relationship itself. The honest person part, that's an A+ in my book as well. I'm actually the kind of person, that encourages Hobbies and Education and Creative things. Those things do not limit nor should interfer with the relationship itself.


Well, what i'm trying to say is that *every* submissive has needs. Whether those needs limit the relationship, whether they interfere with the submissive's ability to please or serve the Dominant- in my mind that's exactly the kind of evaluation that takes place when the two size each other up for a relationship. They're both trying to figure out- are you compatible with me, are your needs in sync with mine? Some of the TPE folks may argue, but as far as i'm concerned that's true of every relationship in the world.

It would be ludicrous to say that i don't need things from a Dominant. Doubtless, there are some who would consider those needs to limit and interfere with the relationship. And if that makes me less of a submissive in their eyes, well, i guess i can live with that.

pam



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:10:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Look Whiplash,
Nothing but love, but how are people supposed to do this here?  THERE IS NO "BOTTOM" OR "TOP" choice.  Are those of us who are NOT interested in D/S supposed to leave?  I've talked candidly several times about how very unwelcome I often feel on here, and it's because of threads like this. On my profile, it says "submissive."  Why?  because it's as close as I can get to what is true.  Sorry that frustrates you.  But even here, we have to work with what we've got.

Look, real relationships include compromise - even for the domly types.  Sometimes that means,  yes, you will be a fetish delivery system - if you care about the person on the other side of things.  If not, you and your friendly girls Rosey DePalma and her five sisters can just go along merrily.

best,
sunshine


Oh geesh sunshine... you're right. There is no bottom/top choice on here. Nothing but Love right back at you. True, this is what everybody has to work with on this site. Yes, it's rather frustrating at least for me at times. Real relationships include finding common ground to work with, not so much a matter of compromise. The more common ground the better it is. To be honest, I don't have a problem being a fetish Delivery Device as long as I'm not that alone. Which is why I made that comment. I'm far more than a mere fetish delivery device. I'm also far more interested in a wide range of things compared to being stuck or fixated upon something extremely specific. I'm also sincerely looking for a D/s relationship. I am however, sitting here thinking about the fact now, that there is no bottom/top choice on here. Thank you...

I really don't have an issue with somebody wanting to be a bottom/top to some set actvitity and such... just it's rather frustrating to be looking for D/s with so much Top/bottom like profiles, with submissive as the orientation. Some people express being a top/bottom extremely well on their profiles. Others, I don't think know the differences. Thank you for reminding me of the evils of the labels people have to select. All of this Madness is BDSM afterall. LOL



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