RE: Full Control

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:15:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I so don't understand this thread. Just simply sounds like a compatibility issue to me. You would be completely bored by me since I'm the type of person who simply obeys...there's no challenge with me. Thankfully Master likes the obedience that I offer. And as for fetishes and kinks, mine is power and service. I found a man who has the same ones. See how easy that is? Sure it took me 8 long years to find him in a sea of men on here who are absolutely nothing at all that I was seeking, not even close but ya know, I stuck it out, kept clicking on profiles and emails and hitting delete quite a lot to the point I thought I had pretty much gone through every single profile on this site. Thankfully though all it took was ONE. It's a "top/bottom fixated upon kink/fetish" verses "a D/s dynamic" issue. (really it's that simple)

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:19:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 It's one thing for me to express, I want Full Control or TPE. It's another thing for somebody to grasp the full concept, that it's not about keeping the locked up behind closed doors and chained to a bed 24/7. My expectations at times seem rather extreme, but they ain't really. So I'm rather much at a loss at times. I keep thinking perhaps I am chasing down that Platium Unicorn, in the face of so many fixations that abound. I think you're getting to my reason for starting my Platinum Unicorn thread...at least from the kink angle. The bolded words..."My expectations"...is what it all comes down to, imo. Look, it's not for me to tell you whether or not your expectations are extreme...as much as it isn't your job to tell me about mine. It's our job, as individuals, to discover and define what reality is for each of us. Oh, and did you know...it's different for everyone. Normal is relative (love that phrase so much I bought the bumper sticker!) and for Miss Slut Gangbang, her normal, in so far as how she describes submission, is just as she states. I'll admit...when I was just starting to exploring this...wiitwd...I loved and lived for the sex part. Now...not so much, things change and my wants have evolved. I still love sex, but I want more. I had a great discussion with a new friend last weekend. We went to a demo at a local space and afterwards, the gentleman said to me "I don't fit in here. I just don't want to be like these other men, waiting and hanging on every word and look from their partner. But, that doesn't make me any less of a submissive, does it?" This led to a very long conversation about labels/roles/wants/needs within a d/s relationship and what we each wanted...what expectations we had. My point with this is that I know what submission looks like to me and what I want/need from a man. That's not going to match up with every man who chooses to use the label "submissive" here on CM (I'm one of those who'd like more options like top/bottom...). If there's a rule or guide book that covers and clarifes everyone's view of what all those labels mean, I'd love to see it. Honestly, though, I'd probably thumb thru and hand it back....I'm an individual like that. Now....weren't you the one who mentioned being happy with a Copper Unicorn? [;)]

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:39:26 PM)
BonesFromAsh... why yes I was the one that said I'd be happy with a Copper Unicorn. However, a Unicorn as opposed to a Donkey with Goats Horn strapped on it's head. LOL I went for Copper because it can be green and tarnished, does not have to be perfect in regards to what it's made out of, in fact it can be rather common in many respects. Copper can be polished up, some metals just require a little tender love and care with some elbow greese. That's why I expressed what I did about copper unicorns.

slaveluci -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:43:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 So perhaps, I'm being a judgemental bastard here, but what I was reading on the profile really did not sound all that submissive in nature. Sure she knows what she wants and likes. I don't find fault with that. But clearly, it does not resonate with submitting to somebody rather more like finding somebody that's accepting of her kink/sexual desires. Perhaps you're just not very broadminded about what your proverbial "three hole slut" is submitting TO. You try having all three holes jammed full at the same time at a gangbang and see if that's not a feeling of "submitting." To cock, to lust, to your own depraved desires...it IS submitting. I've never felt more subjugated[;)] luci

sexyred1 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:58:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I so don't understand this thread. Just simply sounds like a compatibility issue to me. You would be completely bored by me since I'm the type of person who simply obeys...there's no challenge with me. Thankfully Master likes the obedience that I offer. And as for fetishes and kinks, mine is power and service. I found a man who has the same ones. See how easy that is? Sure it took me 8 long years to find him in a sea of men on here who are absolutely nothing at all that I was seeking, not even close but ya know, I stuck it out, kept clicking on profiles and emails and hitting delete quite a lot to the point I thought I had pretty much gone through every single profile on this site. Thankfully though all it took was ONE. It's a "top/bottom fixated upon kink/fetish" verses "a D/s dynamic" issue. (really it's that simple) I understand your clarification, but again, what is the problem? Whenever you meet someone you need to clarify with them, what it is you both are seeking. There is no right or wrong in all of this, only what you need and what your partner needs. Apparently you have a specific need for a specific type and amount of control and you are having trouble finding a compatible sub who fits into that, correct? Join the club. Most of us who are seeking partners have a specific type of dynamic we want and it does not make anyone less or more Dominant or submissive to have these preferences.

sexyred1 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 4:59:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 So perhaps, I'm being a judgemental bastard here, but what I was reading on the profile really did not sound all that submissive in nature. Sure she knows what she wants and likes. I don't find fault with that. But clearly, it does not resonate with submitting to somebody rather more like finding somebody that's accepting of her kink/sexual desires. Perhaps you're just not very broadminded about what your proverbial "three hole slut" is submitting TO. You try having all three holes jammed full at the same time at a gangbang and see if that's not a feeling of "submitting." To cock, to lust, to your own depraved desires...it IS submitting. I've never felt more subjugated[;)] luci Never had a gangbang, but that was just HOT. :)

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 5:13:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 BonesFromAsh... why yes I was the one that said I'd be happy with a Copper Unicorn. However, a Unicorn as opposed to a Donkey with Goats Horn strapped on it's head. LOL Your interpretation....but maybe not Miss Slut Gangbang's. quote: I went for Copper because it can be green and tarnished, does not have to be perfect in regards to what it's made out of, in fact it can be rather common in many respects. Green...new. Tarnished...lacking luster. Common...lacking refinement. Each of these words could be used to define a person who is new to wiitwd or, contrariwise, someone who has been around the dungeon more than a few times. Either way, you state it "does not have to be perfect in regards to what it's made of". What about a wooden Unicorn...all hard and splintery? Or maybe a glass Unicorn...fragile and cold? quote: Copper can be polished up, some metals just require a little tender love and care with some elbow greese. That's why I expressed what I did about copper unicorns. So...you're willing to take the time to polish your Unicorn...to give it shine. Maybe what might help is to look at some of the folks here on good 'ol CM as just another lackluster Unicorn needing a bit of spit and polish from the right person. Accept that you aren't that person and move on. I'm gonna refer you to a post I made in response to one of yours on my "PUtSGE" thread... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3710816 ....it applies here as well. "Everything that irriates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves" ~Carl Jung~

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 5:22:02 PM)
All this talk about Gangbangs and three hole sluts is seriously HOT and Yeah.. It turns me on!! Just thinking about it!! Yes, the GangBang Sluts profile did captivate my attention rather much. However, I've never gone there before with anybody!! Mind you, it's something I would be rather interested in doing! Sharing somebody with two other guys at the same time! Yes, I openly have thought about and had fantasies about a million times. However, Since I've never gone there for Real with anybody... like all fantasies... there's this great big unknown about how it truly would go over. Now inside my mind a million times over!! I'm very much Game for this. Mind you, it's not a must have for me!! But even now... just thinking about it!! It's time for either a cold shower or some other form of relief. LOL... Even more so after what SlaveLuci just posted.

juliaoceania -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 5:36:11 PM)
quote: Okay, well then you understand where I'm coming from based on your own experience with somebody fixated upon a fetish. :-) Now this might shock you! But there's a lot that I'm into doing or trying and even exploring more. I'm not limited nor hung up on specific things, or rather fixated upon single things. Life is too short! (sigh). I understand where you are coming from, but I do not agree that you can tell the difference between the two by looking at a profile, I think you have to get to know someone pretty intimately to see the difference, at least I did. It took me a couple of months of sexual intimacy, after months prior to that of dating, to see the difference. Who knows, it might not take me as long now, but I would not rule someone out because they were upfront about their sexuality and the things they wanted to express

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 6:45:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: Okay, well then you understand where I'm coming from based on your own experience with somebody fixated upon a fetish. :-) Now this might shock you! But there's a lot that I'm into doing or trying and even exploring more. I'm not limited nor hung up on specific things, or rather fixated upon single things. Life is too short! (sigh). I understand where you are coming from, but I do not agree that you can tell the difference between the two by looking at a profile, I think you have to get to know someone pretty intimately to see the difference, at least I did. It took me a couple of months of sexual intimacy, after months prior to that of dating, to see the difference. Who knows, it might not take me as long now, but I would not rule someone out because they were upfront about their sexuality and the things they wanted to express I'm just sitting here, seriously some things I not mind as an occasional indulgence... There's just something not sitting right with me in regards to it becoming a must have fixation that goes on all the time. I'm not meaning for it sound disconjoined. It's kind of like how I love fishnets, but I'd not want somebody in them 24/7 all the time. Sort of makes it less excieting or rather makes it boring after awhile. In the case with somebody that's into being shared, I find rather a mental limit in regards to how much, how often and with how many even. There's a point mentally where things no longer turn me on when I imagine or think about it. So yeah, I more less know myself in some sense here. So being with somebody that this is thier main fixation... just don't see it happening. It's like I don't have an issue with Role playing with somebody being a Pony, Puppy or Kitty. I just don't want to wake up to that every single day. Plus the fixation itself messes with other Roles to be played. I hope this is making a little more sense in some way.

juliaoceania -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 6:53:52 PM)
I did not read this person's profile.... Here is what comes across on this thread about it. You found her hot, sexy, and her statement that she was a three hole slut made you think about some sort of fantasy you have about that scenario.... at least that is what I am reading here. For some reason, though, you have come to the conclusion that is all she cares about. Now, since I did not read the profile, I have no idea if this is true or not, but that is the way you are posting about it. If her profile wasn't getting your juices flowing, you wouldn't have written the thread about it. You wouldn't care if she was just out to get her nut, you would have just moved on to the next profile. So on some level, you are kinda peeved that this fetishist has made you contemplate your own fantasy, but she is an inappropriate partner to fulfill it with. If I were you I'd hit her up and see what she was about, she definitely has your attention, and she might not be what ya think

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 8:08:46 PM)
Take a step back and look at what you are saying. quote: somebody that OFFERS little themselves because they are too Shallow, Limited or otherwise impaired to be a full human being! Only people who want TPE are full human beings? All others are shallow, limited or impaired in some way? Don't you see why saying this this makes you look less than sensible? quote: Come on here "s" types what's your thoughts on Dominants wanting these limited things? My thoughts? Not for me, good luck to them, I hope they find somebody into whatever they are into. quote: Don't you find they are more Diven by Fetish as opposed to being Driven by Dominance instead? No, they know what they want, and what they want isn't what you want. You are attempting to define dominance for everybody. Even I, with my "vast" knowledge and experience, know this is a fool's game. You have your way and others have theirs. Why does it bother you so much that others don't see things the way you do? quote: In my Book of True D/s. See, here's where it goes wrong. there's no such thing as "True D/s". There's as many flavours of D/s as there are people doing it. Stop trying to force others into your mold. quote: To be honest, I don't have a problem being a fetish Delivery Device as long as I'm not that alone. But don't you see how you are complaining because you can't find your own fetish-delivery service? Your fetish is "full control", you have an idea of how you think it should work, how is this different from the pre-planned fantasies of a gang-bang slut? Why do you consider your fully controlled slave girl to be anything other than a fetish-delivery system for satisfying your personal fetish? quote: It's a "top/bottom fixated upon kink/fetish" verses "a D/s dynamic" issue. (really it's that simple) No its not. Its a "my way is the only true way" issue. I am in a TPE Mistress/Slave relationship. I belong to her, i am hers. I have no say, I am consulted when Hanners chooses to consult me, I am simply informed when that is her choice. I am also in a completely fetish-driven relationship. My slavery is entirely centred on my fetish, its all about my kink. My fetish is serving her. That's what gets me flying, I can get off washing floors because its for her. Do you get what I'm saying? It isn't one or the other, its both. Every D/s relationship is both dominance driven and fetish driven simultaneously. Her thing is being served, my thing is serving her. That makes us compatible, it makes us right for each other. That's all it makes us <well, very lucky as well>. What it doesn't make us is any more or less dominant or submissive than anybody else. Your view of what is and isn't dominant or submissive is no more valid than anybody else's, it's valid for you. You and nobody else. You say in your profile that you like learning French phrases, well here's one for you, I hope you take it to heart and add it to your mottos <I had to ask Hanners how to say it [;)]>: A chacun ses goûts

SimplyMichael -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 8:12:22 PM)
It does suck when someone who you want doesn't want you. Its even more irritating when you do what they want better than the people they choose. However, that's life. There are women on this board who want me and tragically, I don't want them. There are women on this board I do want who don't. There is even the rare one I want who wants me right back, but because of X, it won't work. Life is a bitch and a lesson. If you want to play with hot young girls in the kink scene today, you better get good with a camera and rope. The sort of woman I want in my age bracket want a man who can provide a life or at least match what they have and if I want to be with the ones I truly want, I have to manifest that in my life or shut the fuck up. So, what is it you truly want and what do you need to manifest to attract it?

whipher1 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 9:57:46 PM)
I would say its a two way street its a 50 50 split between two people one taking control the other giveing up the control works for me [:)]

strangedesire -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 10:32:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 Real relationships include finding common ground to work with, not so much a matter of compromise. I have never been in a worthwhile relationship that did not require compromise from both parties. Have you?

Arpig -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 11:45:55 PM)
quote: I have never been in a worthwhile relationship that did not require compromise from both parties. Have you? Yes. many, many, many such relationships. However they were all with cats, and those furry little bastards NEVER compromise.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/9/2011 11:59:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strangedesire quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 Real relationships include finding common ground to work with, not so much a matter of compromise. I have never been in a worthwhile relationship that did not require compromise from both parties. Have you? The way I look at and view the word "compromise" verses how you do is rather different. There are things I ain't compromising myself over for anybody. Such as not being involved in with heavy drug users, alcholics and etc. You don't understand what I view as a Compromise is literally a Compromise. Areas of one's life where you are willing to Give or Take a little, or what you are willing to make adjustments in are never "compromises" to begin with. There are reasons why I look at the word diffferently. Mainly after reading some things with amazing insight to the word compromise in relationships. So I look at this word rather differently. Being flexible should never be confused with compromise. A compromise is more of a major Breech, in my book. Hope you understand where I'm coming from.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/10/2011 12:10:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I did not read this person's profile.... Here is what comes across on this thread about it. You found her hot, sexy, and her statement that she was a three hole slut made you think about some sort of fantasy you have about that scenario.... at least that is what I am reading here. For some reason, though, you have come to the conclusion that is all she cares about. Now, since I did not read the profile, I have no idea if this is true or not, but that is the way you are posting about it. If her profile wasn't getting your juices flowing, you wouldn't have written the thread about it. You wouldn't care if she was just out to get her nut, you would have just moved on to the next profile. So on some level, you are kinda peeved that this fetishist has made you contemplate your own fantasy, but she is an inappropriate partner to fulfill it with. If I were you I'd hit her up and see what she was about, she definitely has your attention, and she might not be what ya think Julia what you don't understand, is that it's not just about her profile... it's about other profiles too! This whole thread is really about the conflict between these two things.. It's a "top/bottom fixated upon kink/fetish" verses "a D/s dynamic" issue. (really it's that simple)

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Full Control (6/10/2011 12:29:32 AM)
quote: It's a "top/bottom fixated upon kink/fetish" verses "a D/s dynamic" issue. (really it's that simple) The D/s dynamic you want IS just another kink/fetish. So you are a "top fixated on a kink/fetish". Can't you see that? What is it about this concept you can't wrap your head around?

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Full Control (6/10/2011 12:48:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather quote: It's a "top/bottom fixated upon kink/fetish" verses "a D/s dynamic" issue. (really it's that simple) The D/s dynamic you want IS just another kink/fetish. So you are a "top fixated on a kink/fetish". Can't you see that? What is it about this concept you can't wrap your head around? Not really for me... However, I do see where D/s itself can become a fetish/Kink in itself.

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