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Not really for me... However, I do see where D/s itself can become a fetish/Kink in itself.

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

(A)  It does suck when someone who you want doesn't want you.  Its even more irritating when you do what they want better than the people they choose.  However, that's life.  (B)There are women on this board who want me and tragically, I don't want them.  (C) There are women on this board I do want who don't. (D) There is even the rare one I want who wants me right back, but because of X, it won't work.

Life is a bitch and a lesson.  If you want to play with hot young girls in the kink scene today, you better get good with a camera and rope.  The sort of woman I want in my age bracket want a man who can provide a life or at least match what they have and if I want to be with the ones I truly want, I have to manifest that in my life or shut the fuck up.

So, what is it you truly want and what do you need to manifest to attract it?

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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
There are women on this board who want me and tragically, I don't want them. 

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There are women on this board I do want who don't. 

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There is even the rare one I want who wants me right back, but because of X, it won't work.

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So, what is it you truly want and what do you need to manifest to attract it?

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ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
BonesFromAsh

for
So...you're willing to take the time to polish your Unicorn

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3713773/mpage_3/tm.htm

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
First of all D/s is a kink. That is not debatable, it simply is. And secondly it is your kink.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
But still, WS is pretty out there with the entire world view that if you are on a kink site looking for kink you are somehow not a full human being, somehow lacking, etc etc etc. It just means they use this site for their purposes, and these are not the same as his.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
One last thing, I think only the individual can categorize themselves as to who they are. I am really sick and tired of strangers who think they know people by their profiles... so much so that they contact people and tell them "you are really a switch and not a submissive"... it is like WTF? How do these people know that from a couple of paragraphs?

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WS,
I really think you need to stop projecting your needs on to other people and getting frustrated because other people are not your ideal and *gasp* they have the audacity to log on to a kink site and seek what they want. Get over yourself.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

How is anybody a whole human being when their Fetish is so over powering to the point of being an Addiction in itself?

Anybody care to share some insight about this??

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
But still, WS is pretty out there with the entire world view that if you are on a kink site looking for kink you are somehow not a full human being, somehow lacking, etc etc etc. It just means they use this site for their purposes, and these are not the same as his.

I'm not out there when somebody wants to live 24/7 out of a cage and never leave the house and see the light of day!

Please explain to me how that is being a Full Human being? <--- Seriously and for real here.


How is anybody a whole human being when their Fetish is so over powering to the point of being an Addiction in itself?

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
So, you think that a dominant that needs to exercise their control, micromanage a submissive, is a "whole human being"?

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I suppose my exception to this, and I posted this earlier but you ignored it, is that you leveled this at people who were "submissive". You said (paraphrasing here) that people who were not "serving" but label themselves as "submissive" were not entirely whole human beings....

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Now, from my perspective, PEOPLE who live entirely for themselves (not just submissive people), consider no one else, and use others for their satisfaction are not whole human beings. I would say, on average, I have read FAR more "dominant" profiles that fit this criteria than on the other side of the kneel. These profiles repel me. If someone does not see service as something that they give to others, well they have no place in my life.

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I suppose it is that you have blinders on that on this thread (not every thread, just in this case) you tend to make it sound like it is ALL ABOUT YOU. Now I know from other things you write that this is not how you view your relationships, but if you look at what you have written on this thread, it sure the hell sounds that way. Now think about that... if I did not know you at all, and I just read this thread, I would think that you were all about you. Would that be fair? That is what you are doing to other people when you read that they have XYZ fetish, and you ASSUME that is all there is to them in their lives. Profiles are very incomplete, and they never represent but a two dimensional view of the entire person.

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I can see how someone who had a fetish that they enjoyed being locked up for a couple of days at a time, would then get out of the cage, put on their work clothes and go out and try to find a cure for cancer 5 days a week. You are reducing people down to a fetish they have, and that, my friend, is wrong.

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Thank you for expressing what you just did. Profiles are a mere tip of the water to what somebody is about. However, if they make it clear that their fetish means more to them than a previous relationship, and this is why their last ended. (Clearly a Red Flag about how wrapped up in their fetish is?).

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I'd like to repost this back into the thread. (thoughts anybody?)

There are people that have the occasional fetish, there are those that are driven to the point that it's an Addition. To the point it screws up relationships, to the point they retreat from the world and only care about having their Fetish feed. Hence where it's all about it 24/7 or it takes up most of their time outside of work. Read up on the criteria for additions and how much control an addition has in somebody's life. Think of people which fetish addictions. Not occasional indulgence in a fetish.

When a fetish or addition has control of somebody... that's what's controlling their ass.
Kind of problematic in any relationship let alone a D/s one!

Please note I expressed When it has control of somebody!

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I'd like to repost this back into the thread. (thoughts anybody?)

There are people that have the occasional fetish, there are those that are driven to the point that it's an Addition. To the point it screws up relationships, to the point they retreat from the world and only care about having their Fetish feed. Hence where it's all about it 24/7 or it takes up most of their time outside of work. Read up on the criteria for additions and how much control an addition has in somebody's life. Think of people which fetish addictions. Not occasional indulgence in a fetish.

When a fetish or addition has control of somebody... that's what's controlling their ass.
Kind of problematic in any relationship let alone a D/s one!

Please note I expressed When it has control of somebody!

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First of all, in your case, D/s is a kink/fetish. To my mind that is not debatable, it simply is.

I still do not consider D/s to be an orientation, or just a relationship style, but I am going to have to do some heavy thinking in order to figure out exactly what i think it is and how to put whatever that is into words (and also make sure I am using the words correctly ).

As an aside not specifically related to this thread:
I gather that your dynamic/situation is very much not the norm, you yourself have said so many times. If that is so, then perhaps it isn't really fair of you to object when somebody makes a general statement which holds true for most people, but not for you and Carol. You do this quite often, but you are the exception, rather than the rule. At times I feel that we are expected to state our views with a caveat of "except in the case of Jeff and Carol". I'm not trying to say you shouldn't be giving your input, its just that you do come across rather vehemently about it at times, which seems a little out of place given the uniqueness of your approach..