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Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 8:31:39 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Two years ago at Thunder...I watched a female submissive in a group of people get a little bratty with her Master.  He rolled his eyes, grabbed her by the hair and in less than 4 seconds had her on her knees in front of him. 

Very physical form of play and expression of dominance and of submission.  She very clearly enjoyed it, and so did he.

Likewise, I have seen a couple play twice where her entire goal seems to be to pit her strength against His, and she and he seem to get great enjoyment of this again very physical expression of dominance and submission.  They wrestle and he almost always gets it over her as he is a -very- muscular guy.

What I am saying, is that I definitely see that male physical strength over the female often gets a lot of play and enjoyment in Male led relationships.

But I don't see a lot of it in Female led relationships...in fact, I think that is one of the differences between Male vs. Female dominance is that Male dominance more often (not always) tend to incorporate a very physical coercion-form (coercion with consent mind) - and often an expression of the Male's most times greater physical strength plays a significant role in the dynamic.

My Lady and I don't play the physical strength game much.  She will grab my hair and bite my neck, but not a lot of "taking me down".  Now, with She and I, it would be sort of pointless - as I don't really want to test my physical strength against hers.  If she were to grab me and decide to take me down to the ground, I would just go...because clearly she wanted that.  Mind you, I would find it totally HAWT!  But it honestly would not even enter in to my head to resist her as some form of making her coerce me with physical domination. 

Now, let me caveat that I am in no way saying that Women are not capable of physical expressions of domination over males.  Even the smallest woman can take a large man down if she knows how...but it has not been my experience that that sort of physical expression of dominance plays out a lot in Female led relationships.

So...given the recent train wreck topics around one or more aspects of things that are physically done to and by and between people...I thought I would start one that hopefully will not end up in shambles, but will give perspectives of physical dominance in both Female-Led and Male-Led relationships - the differences, the similarities, and I hope expressions from the male subs and female subs as well about how they feel about "getting physical".

Play nice or go home please. 

Otter

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 8:47:05 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
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Status: offline 		I love, no LOOOOOOOVE wrestling with my partner. I like pitting my strength against his. I love his body pinning me as well, testing our relative strengths (not totally, I've never fought as hard as I possibly could, I wouldn't want to unintentionally hurt him).

I like knowing that the man of my CHOICE is stronger than I am. I think I would be dissappointed to best him physically.

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 8:49:20 AM   
HeatherSucks


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Status: offline 		OK, just pretend you never saw this and the joke might still work.

< Message edited by HeatherSucks -- 6/10/2011 8:56:26 AM >

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 8:50:42 AM   
mnottertail


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Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU3tOen_zO4

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 8:51:42 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


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From: The dog house
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quote:

I think that is one of the differences between Male vs. Female dominance is that Male dominance more often (not always) tend to incorporate a very physical coercion-form (coercion with consent mind)
I'll reply more in depth later, I'm pressed for time right now, but all I have to say to this is you've never seen Hanners in action. Physically overpowering me is something she does often. Much to our mutual delight.




< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 6/10/2011 9:01:34 AM >

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 9:11:10 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'll reply more in depth later, I'm pressed for time right now, but all I have to say to this is you've never seen Hanners in action. Physically overpowering me is something she does often. Much to our mutual delight.

Maybe it's a lesbian thing? I can get pretty grabby-forcy-stay-where-I-put-you-y too.

In my line of kink it can be necessary - I don't really like restraints, and I like hurting people badly enough that reflex reactions of moving away are inevitable. So it's either force my partner to be still, or get someone else to.

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 9:44:15 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Physical dominance is not on the agenda between Carol and I. Not only am I not into it, but scenes like you described in your post would already mean a failing dynamic for Carol and I.

I've always wondered about such things. I assume that it's all about recreating a sexy romance novel where the damsel futiley beats her hands against his chest before helplessly submitting. Carol and I are not doing sexual dominance and submission so there's no draw for recreating such scenes. For us, it's all about the end state of "submitting" rather than the hotness of "resistance is futile".

I do get physical during sex, but honestly there's no resistance going on. It's not a fight or a struggle -- not even a staged one.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 10:38:38 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

Two years ago at Thunder...I watched a female submissive in a group of people get a little bratty with her Master.  He rolled his eyes, grabbed her by the hair and in less than 4 seconds had her on her knees in front of him. 

Very physical form of play and expression of dominance and of submission.  She very clearly enjoyed it, and so did he.



It's pretty simple for me. I don't do brats period. If you must act like a 5 year old rock on but if you do it in front of me I will "call you on it" <Just like the strangers that I see wearing PJs out it public> I will comment in a loud voice. "Are they really wearing PJs in the store"

I am not that insecure that I have to prove my strength to anyone.

BadOne


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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 10:47:52 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
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Status: offline 		While everything for me starts in the mind, of course, I LOVE being physically overpowered, held down, feeling the weight of someone on me, even struggling. That is why I like consensual force play, which I know many people here don't believe in.

If I am being mentally overpowered, as in he is saying things that alone can make me turn into a puddle, that is even better.

When I say the person can overpower me, I am not necessarily talking about brute strength; just his ability to take me over.


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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 10:54:08 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
While everything for me starts in the mind, of course, I LOVE being physically overpowered, held down, feeling the weight of someone on me, even struggling. That is why I like consensual force play, which I know many people here don't believe in.

If I am being mentally overpowered, as in he is saying things that alone can make me turn into a puddle, that is even better.

When I say the person can overpower me, I am not necessarily talking about brute strength; just his ability to take me over.

I Love Consensual force play. It rocks!

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 10:56:26 AM   
sexyred1


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Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I do too, but many people have stated on threads that it is just role playing, as if that lessens the hotness factor.

Believe me, if they saw what was being done in a consensual force situation, they may change their minds.

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 11:09:33 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I do too, but many people have stated on threads that it is just role playing, as if that lessens the hotness factor.

Well, since I might well be a person who has said or will say such a thing, I'd like to clarify. Yes, I do draw a rather distinct line between reality and fantasy. Yes, reality does carry quite a bit more weight in my mind. That being said, saying "consensual force play is just role play" is a lot like saying, "Cheesecake is just desert". Sure it is. And yeah, if you're starving cheesecake isn't what you need. But I happen to be rather fond of deserts :)


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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 12:49:49 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'll reply more in depth later, I'm pressed for time right now, but all I have to say to this is you've never seen Hanners in action. Physically overpowering me is something she does often. Much to our mutual delight.

Maybe it's a lesbian thing? I can get pretty grabby-forcy-stay-where-I-put-you-y too.

In my line of kink it can be necessary - I don't really like restraints, and I like hurting people badly enough that reflex reactions of moving away are inevitable. So it's either force my partner to be still, or get someone else to.


I know VC is relatively short, but she still scares me.

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 12:53:11 PM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I do too, but many people have stated on threads that it is just role playing, as if that lessens the hotness factor.

Well, since I might well be a person who has said or will say such a thing, I'd like to clarify. Yes, I do draw a rather distinct line between reality and fantasy. Yes, reality does carry quite a bit more weight in my mind. That being said, saying "consensual force play is just role play" is a lot like saying, "Cheesecake is just desert". Sure it is. And yeah, if you're starving cheesecake isn't what you need. But I happen to be rather fond of deserts :)



I did not recall you being the person who said that, but if so, that is your opinion.

I don't understand your metaphor; what I do is reality; I happen to live out my fantasies and feel lucky to have been able to be with people who understand that.


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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 1:47:18 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sorry Red... I got too fancy. The short version... "fantasy" is a good and wonderful thing. It isn't "just fantasy".

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 1:55:48 PM   
sexyred1


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Status: offline 		No problem, Jeff. As long as we are all enjoying ourselves, there is no argument, right?

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/10/2011 2:22:21 PM   
OwnedFemaleFlesh


Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline 		I'm not sure this is a feature of all M/f relationships, it's not something that's ever been a feature of my relationships. I have had Doms do the 'small painful pinch' thing, where if I'm acting up, they will pinch me by the earlobe, or wrap a little bit of hair round one finger and hold it tightly, basically just a small painful thing that's not too obvious but that brings me back into line. I can't say it's a display of physical strength - possession and control yes, but pure strength no. Plus, a lot of couples I know, the women are not that small or petite! Whereas the men are slim or smaller, I'm not sure the men could take the women down, unless the women wanted them to ;-)

owned xxx

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/11/2011 9:30:18 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'm shallow like that. I absolutely love him grabbing me by the scruff of the neck and controlling me. Picking me up and tossing me down. Biting me. Wrapping his big hand around my throat makes me melt immediately.

Unfortunately I can't fight back physically which is sad because he enjoys wrestling play. But he grabs me, I turn into a compliant puddle and there's no fight.

I don't see how this qualifies as role play, I'm not pretending to be someone who melts when her throat is grabbed. I really do. Nothing not real there, it's a visceral reaction.


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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/11/2011 9:45:27 AM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		I absolutely love physical as well, but not from the aspect of it being a contest as I'm a male sub and very few of the women I have played with would stand much of a chance in such a contest.    Being grabbed, yanked, pinned, shoved, etc. is an uber hot start that puts me immediately in the right mindset and the Domme doesn't have to be able to over power me to do it.

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RE: Let's Get Physical! - 6/11/2011 11:18:19 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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Status: offline 		honestly, this is part of the reason why i gravitate towards bigger, stronger men. =p the fact that they can put me where they want when they want me there. physical superiority is a huge turn-on for me.
maybe men are more likely to express it because that's just part of how they grow up; they grow up (for the most part, i'm making generalisations, but you hopefully get the idea =p) playing contact sports, or arm punching games with their friends because, culturally, strength and physicality are still basically part of our "definition" of what makes a man a man. a lot of the ideas on what is gender-normative are waning away to more neutral things in the modern age, but for the most part, that one still seems to stand (at least in my experience/observation). i think it's a primal drive in a lot of ways, too. and when i'm responding to a man like that, it feels very primal and raw for me, which is something that i think is important.

i'm a huge fan of consensual force stuff, rough body play, stuff like that. (actually, when i went to Black Label Society late last month, i nearly swooned watching this gorgeous giant of a man shove people around. =p he grabbed his girlfriend by the waist and snatched her out of the mosh pit like it was nothing -- flipping amazing. =p) i adore brute strength, i really do. not to say that i sacrifice that for intelligence and wit -- a strong, gorgeous guy i couldn't talk to wouldn't be very useful really. but when they both come along together? that's pretty flipping perfect. =p

i also actually enjoy the tension of a big strong man who knows how to be otherwise. that's lovely.


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