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What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 10:47:15 AM   
puella


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"I’ve learned so much about myself in defeat, and have learned so very little in victory."
      Floyd Patterson

My query is this:
 
Certainly, we must own our failures as much as our successes (strange that failure is one of the only things a slave is allowed to own, but that’s another post completely!). I know that my failure in slavery, though still absolutely debilitating, has taught me an awful lot of things (some of them awful!) I don’t know I would have learned any other way, for a myriad of reasons.
 
What have you learned from failure? What do you think you should learn from failure?
 
I really look forward to the responses.
 
 
** As a note: Floyd Patterson, two time heavyweight champion, died this week at the age of 71.
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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 10:52:16 AM   
windchymes


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Status: offline 		I prefer to think of "failures" as opportunities to learn and grow.  They're only failures if you don't learn from them, so as not to repeat future mistake.

I'm not sure what you mean by your "failure in slavery", but one Master's failure could be another Master's treasure. 

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:09:57 AM   
LaTigresse


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Status: offline 		what I have learned from past failures is often disgustingly simply to stop being afraid to succeed

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 5/14/2006 11:12:23 AM >

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:19:17 AM   
BitaTruble


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quote:


 
What have you learned from failure? What do you think you should learn from failure?
 



The two things which come to mind first are humility and that failures are necessary for growth. Like windchymes said, you can take it as an opportunity, which to me is ideal, or, you can let it beat you down. So, I guess it also teaches you how to make choices so you allow for the potential of growth. If at first you don't succeed.. and all that!

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:23:00 AM   
redpetals


Posts: 229
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		mostly i attempt to learn how to avoid the same failures..sometimes fate  kicks our feet out from under us no matter how careful we are..no matter how confident we are..
one of my favorite quotes.."Whenever you fall ,pick something up." it was said by Oswald Avery on his discovery of DNA as the transforming principal of bacteria.

i think  many of us have turned failure into a very seductive type of art form.
i know it makes me write..and i have a fascination with  pain and how we cope..how we get through it and what we learn....
i have learned that basically "shit happens" and sometimes i just have to accept it
(but i sure dont give up easily)



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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:26:25 AM   
windchymes


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Status: offline 		Another thought that comes to mind is that failure makes you human.  NO ONE has ever existed on the planet without failing at something....actually, many things.

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:33:42 AM   
LadiesBladewing


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Status: offline 		I like Edison's perspective on failure. When he had tried over 1000 different ways to make a light bulb and none of them worked, he was asked how he felt about having failed 1000 times. He responded by saying, in essence, that he hadn't failed 1000 times. He now knew, with absolute certainty, 1000 different ways NOT to make a light bulb.

That's my take on failure as well. Life is a huge research project. If something I try doesn't work, there is always another way to go about doing it, and one of those ways -will- work. We are never failures. We've just forgotten what we once knew about how the Universe fits together, and we need a refresher course.

Sometimes, we decide we're bored or tired with a particular line of research. We just agree with ourselves, at some point, that we don't want to keep trying that particular experimental track any more -- or we keep trying new methods until we find one that works.

Lady Zephyr

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:34:58 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


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Status: offline 		What have I learned from failure?.....that I simply hate it!.....and will avoid it as much as humanly possible..but if I do fail,I will embrace it and go on to try to achieve some success so as to maintain a balance....be well...Tempting

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:55:30 AM   
denika


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Status: offline 		I have learned that the past tends to repeat itself unless we learn from our mistakes.

I have learned that failure does not mean I am a failure. Learn,grow move on or else it will haunt you.  We can never be perfect and it's easier to set ourselves up for failure than success.

denika

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:56:46 AM   
Padriag


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Status: offline 		The other night I was in the Lobby chatting, we got off onto a serious discussion and I was sharing some of my views.  Several people commented they thought I was very wise.  While very flattering I couldn't help but think... wise, perhaps, but wise enough I still don't know.  They see the wisdom, I see all the mistakes it took to get there.  As a dominant I've made far more mistakes over the years than I care to count.  Everything from just totally blowing a relationship through inexperience, to that keen bit of rope bondage I thought I'd planned out so well turning into a comedy when it utterly failed to bind.  We live and learn from our mistakes.  And that's the thing I encourage anyone to remember when they fail, when you make a mistake it isn't the mistake that matters... but only what you do about it.

Enjoy the week folks, I'm off on another business trip.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 11:57:23 AM   
jamesthehumanrug


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Status: offline 		puella
i seldom think to have to learn anything valuble in this life we are meant to live from failure
i did learn not to fear failure means dont hesitate so much just to be double sure you are rite b4 you make a move thereby not making a move at all by being too cautious then fail or snooze you looze
otherwise failure is thrust upon us from our ungodly attributes and frailties;while i seek only truth and beauty each day ,and to be like god ,or the one i worship so to speak.... and thats 'perfect',&,
not to dwell on failure because you cant build on failure ,but on the suggestion of one success, after another , till you have a pyramid of successes;
to bear a child and then, when born; teach the kid by saying: life's tuff ;you'll learn; is like having a kid to bang it's head, against A  BRICK-wall;
when you love someone ;you teach success ;and leave all trace of "failure " unmentioned;
no one wants to hear it ;but ,other losers ,or jelous interested parties; be g.d. mad about it;vow to erase it and, tackle the cause;because, failure is'nt a persons' fault all the time;especially, if you are vulnerable;
make life easy for yourself ; 
own your successes is a more logical ;error- free ;unconditional place to dwell ,and, be happy;
in hollywood: it's an unspooken rule ,if you trip and fall ;get up lightening fast; like you never fell;don't sit or lie there pondering;
it's simply better always ,with no regrets ;
no mistakes,
not even a mistress, or master wants a slave who fails ,as a slave,
so  you 've got ,to be 'YOUR BEST'.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 5/14/2006 12:12:18 PM >

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jamesthehumanrug

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 12:29:47 PM   
smilezz


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Status: offline 		"I'd rather be a failure in something that i love, than a success in something that i hate"    George Burns

I have always enjoyed this quote.

~smilezz~

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 2:26:54 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		When I have failed at something I analyze what it is I failed at and then figure out why.  What were the road blocks?  How can I remove them?  What prevented me from doing better?  Did I overlook something?  Did I not put my trust where it belonged?   Where were my thoughts at the time?  What do I need to do differently to succeed next time?  Do I need to ask for help?

Etc. 

Understanding a failure helps to pick myself back up and move forward.

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 3:13:06 PM   
cacodylic


Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline 		Failure is the ultimate reality check.
------------
"The wise man learns from his own mistakes.. The genius learns from others' mistakes."  Steve S. [and many others]

< Message edited by cacodylic -- 5/14/2006 4:17:27 PM >

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 3:19:26 PM   
puella


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Status: offline 		It's the ultimate something, that's for sure.

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 4:19:33 PM   
piscess


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Status: offline 		I have learned that I am not perfect.  WOW did my ego deflate fast. 
 
Life is about successes and failures.  I have learned that without the failures, successes would mean little.  We have to have the downs in life for the ups to matter at all.
 
pisces

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 5:00:01 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
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Status: offline 		We learn not to repeat the same behavior that led to the failure in the first place.  We grow, find out that we aren't perfect and it's ok not to be.  We learn to try harder.

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 5:03:51 PM   
KnightofMists


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Status: offline 		I learned I only fail if I quit

I learned that sometimes I must fail

I learned that in failure I can gain wisdom so I am less likely to fail in the future.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 6:15:01 PM   
CrappyDom


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From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Padriag,

I agree wholeheartedly, most of what little wisdom I posess has been purchased quite dearly at the expense of some truly wonderful women and of course my own heart. I am far from perfect, I fail, I blunder, I am human. But those failings and blunders have tought me to be a better person, a better dominant, and that is a lesson too rarely heard in our search for perfection.

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RE: What we learn from failure? - 5/14/2006 6:42:23 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		I thought I had failed.
I failed very someone special. A person I would never wish to hurt and I am sorry. I let them down by not being there for them, for not presenting the strong, clear, solid girl that I am. Never meant to disappoint... and I am sorry for the hurt and loss. I hope, humbly, for at least some sort of renewal. I care....
 
Not long ago, I was a nervous. Jumpy. Sensitive. I didn't know exactly why. Sure, I had been under a lot of stress, working hard, trying to please, handling the tasks, etc. but it was more.  Something was wrong. Nipping at the edges...
 
My mother (today is mother's day.. happy to y'all :) ) who is a super lady had not been well, not been herself. I was on edge and couldn't focus on Him. 
 
Mother, she is stubborn. Wouldn't see a doctor.
I just about forced her to. I had to be cruel to get her to the emergency room. 
 
Good thing I stayed home and kept an eye on things. Next day = open heart surgery. Medical staff and cardiologist said: she made it - just in time.
 
If I had followed my orders fully, placed him first , gone agaisnt what was like a strong wind, a gale forcing me back, even if away from Him.... and neglected her: she'd be dead.
 
She will be fine and home from the hospital soon. You'd like her; she is pretty cool!
 Yes. I am very lucky to have such a good mother. I know others who have not been so fortunate and I feel for them. Heal their hearts.
 
Well, moral of the story: go with your gut. I failed one. If only...? But I saved another.

He wasn't wrong. Something else was wrong. Instinct knew it. Like an animal. Before a storm. I listened. Yet, I failed. Or did I?
Love to all, fawne   
 
"It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see." W.C.

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