RE: Masters, do you ever...

RE: Masters, do you ever... (Full Version)

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coookie -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/12/2011 7:28:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Although to be fair, the general attitude towards love in the BDSM community is probably the biggest reason I don't identify as a "master" anymore. what attitude is that leadership? I personally have not found a negative or positive attitude around love in the community. Those in ltr love each other.

HisPet21 -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/12/2011 9:28:39 PM)
I'm a sub, but I find love to be an essential aspect of my dynamic. My submission arises out of love; out of a sincere desire to see the man of my dreams happy in everything he does. If I didn't love my SO, I wouldn't submit to him for the same reason I wouldn't submit to some demanding stranger on the street: there is no emotional connection. My SO loves me too; and he only demands of me because he knows that when I do things for him, I do it out of sincerity. In my opinion, submission and service is all about love, but I also know that may not be the case for everyone else.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/12/2011 10:11:23 PM)
For me, anything less would be a complete waste of time.

DesFIP -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/13/2011 1:57:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Celeste - If he didn't love you, you really don't think it would matter to him what happened to you? From what you've said about your fellow, he doesn't seem to be that kind of a man. I don't get the impression from you that he doesn't give a flying fig about the world... except those few he loves. Best, sunshine He isn't a careless human being and he wouldn't ever want to harm anyone. However if there wasn't this tight a bond that includes love, I still wouldn't trust him. Trust comes slow to me and without a reason beyond he's a generally good guy, I won't give it.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/13/2011 2:36:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Acephale ~~Masters~~ [Doms], do you ever...fall in love with your subs? "Fall in love" isn't how I'd put it. I can develop an affection, yes. Is it necessary? Certainly not. Is my equal reciprocation of the love I expect in the slave* a requirement for servitude or sexual use? Not at all. * If I am a Master in this scenario, then the counter pole in question would logically be a slave. These are bold terms in my mind which transcend requirements of reciprocated love. If you were to ask, "Doms, do you ever love your subs?", I'd be inclined to avoid a response here altogether, as I don't have interest in either of the latter orientations.

NuevaVida -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/13/2011 4:06:55 PM)
I wasn't loved in my last M/s relationship. I am greatly loved in this one. The difference, to me, is unbelievable. My trust in him is unlike trust I've felt before, and my desire and need to give of myself to him comes from a completely different place. Being owned in a loving relationship is blowing my mind.

Tristan -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/13/2011 5:01:48 PM)
Every time! It wouldn't be fun without love, passion, and deep mutual trust.

MrHCurious -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/13/2011 5:05:48 PM)
Yep. If people think that makes me less domly, I'll live with that. Not a lot of people think I'm capable of being particularly domly anyway, but the ones who do are the ones who matter.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/13/2011 6:16:51 PM)
My last sub. YES. ABSOFUCKINLUTELY positively in L-O-V-E Hurt like a bitch when it ended after 5 years.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 6:41:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida I wasn't loved in my last M/s relationship. I am greatly loved in this one. The difference, to me, is unbelievable. My trust in him is unlike trust I've felt before, and my desire and need to give of myself to him comes from a completely different place. Nueva, we've talked at length several times on the phone about your previous relationship while it was ongoing. I recall some time before the end voicing my gentle opinion you were involved with a man who appeared to be keeping you at arms length while taking advantage of your good nature. That doesn't constitute the definition of "Master" in my book—love present or not. It's good to see you are with a man who is in no way a continuation of that former relationship.

NuevaVida -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 6:54:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida I wasn't loved in my last M/s relationship. I am greatly loved in this one. The difference, to me, is unbelievable. My trust in him is unlike trust I've felt before, and my desire and need to give of myself to him comes from a completely different place. Nueva, we've talked at length several times on the phone about your previous relationship while it was ongoing. Wait. Do I know you? [8D] quote: I recall some time before the end voicing my gentle opinion you were involved with a man who appeared to be keeping you at arms length while taking advantage of your good nature. That doesn't constitute the definition of "Master" in my book—love present or not. Hindsight really is 20/20, isn't it? Your opinion had a lot of weight, and, in fact, helped me open my eyes to the truth. Those conversations were appreciated...and still are. quote: It's good to see you are with a man who is in no way a continuation of that former relationship. Thank you, Marc. It's good to be in such a different place. Miracles do happen. [:)]

micheelben -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 9:15:22 AM)
do you ever love

leadership527 -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 9:38:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: coookie what attitude is that leadership? I personally have not found a negative or positive attitude around love in the community. Those in ltr love each other. The attitude that says "love somehow diminishes D/s". And yes, almost all stable couples report being deeply in love (big surprise there). But the undercurrent remains. It shows up in the mental gymnastics that go on every time some "master" tries to explain why he does nice things for his "slave". Having gone back to the husband/wife nomenclature, I can just cut to the chase and say, "Because I love her." There's no need to play games with "responsibly taking care of my property".

lthrpup -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 11:01:07 AM)
Most have said they do love, come to love or need to love their 's' for the best sort of relationship. I wonder if it is possible to enjoy dominating a sub or owning a slave without loving them. Are there situations where your character as a dominant can be exercised with control over someone you like, respect, or even find attractive but who you are satisfied to keep compartmentalized in a dominant-submissive or sadist-masochist exchange. Maybe this is more likely with a secondary partner? When you want a subject but are not at a place where you want a relationship?

LadyPact -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 11:49:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Although to be fair, the general attitude towards love in the BDSM community is probably the biggest reason I don't identify as a "master" anymore. I think you'd be wrong about that one, Jeff. There's been a serious shift on the matter of "love" even in the time that I've been involved. Romantic love or being "in love" with a slave is a heck of a lot more commonly expressed now than it was when I first started out. The exception to this would be the folks who are engaged in what some would call service arrangements. Even those folks will acknowledge that, for many of them, an affection or fondness develops over the years. To answer the OP, I love clip, but I'm not in love with him.

Acephale -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 1:13:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: micheelben do you ever love Was this directed at me? Yes, of course I do, but not often.

lizi -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 2:21:47 PM)
I haven't been at this all so very long. First I had a couple of casual BDSM encounters without love, and now I have those encounters with love....yeah, it's pretty cool with the love. Seems to work well in our relationship. We're more careful with things because we know we'll be there together afterward and we don't want damage to the relationship, but I think we both go farther in what we'd ask or do for each other because we love each other. It intensifies things for us.

KnightofMists -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 5:17:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 Although to be fair, the general attitude towards love in the BDSM community is probably the biggest reason I don't identify as a "master" anymore. I think you'd be wrong about that one, Jeff. There's been a serious shift on the matter of "love" even in the time that I've been involved. Romantic love or being "in love" with a slave is a heck of a lot more commonly expressed now than it was when I first started out. The exception to this would be the folks who are engaged in what some would call service arrangements. Even those folks will acknowledge that, for many of them, an affection or fondness develops over the years. To answer the OP, I love clip, but I'm not in love with him. I would tend to agre with LP on this one.... I don't know if it is a majority or where the split is. But, it does seem that the confession of loving thy slave is much more common that it use to be. I say confession since I believe that it most denied the truth of their feelings rather not have the feelings in the first place. I will add that it absolutely impossible for me to comprehend that one doesn't have some sort of affection or fondness for their slave if not love their slave. It just seems completely illogical and irration to me for someone to have a slave they are indifferent or dislike towards. Of course, if one is a psychopath... that is different! ;) And for the record... I am deeply in love with my two girls.... just incase anyone was unsure about my feelings towards them... just check out my fet profile pics.... loads of pics of the girls..... The word love just doesn't seem to capture the depth of my feelings for them... in fact no word does... nor my actions. But I go each day trying to show with my words and actions the depth of my feelings.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/14/2011 5:25:34 PM)
Sometimes. I always have affection and regard, and concern for them as people, but love in the romantic sense isn't necessary for me.

TheChastiser -> RE: Masters, do you ever... (6/21/2011 3:52:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Acephale fall in love with your subs? most definitely not. i care for and nurture but leave love where it belongs. it means that emotional blackmail does not enter the relationship. Mike

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