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cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:12:04 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		I recently butted into a thread celebrating the birthday of a much loved member of CM. As usual I was probably a bit blunt and as usual the wrath of the club and indeed the mighty MODS was swift and merciless. But how serious can a cyber friendship be? Obviously there are people here and on all the other dating/friendship/chat sites who have forged meaningful relationships via this medium....love...marriage...kids...super happy woo hoo....etc.... everything is possible.
But if someone as adored and cherished as this person was can just up and leave without bothering to log in and say hi does this not say something about the transient and temporary nature of internet friendships? You miss him,does he miss you? However many thousands of posts you make you never know when that connection might just stop dead. At least in real life you can pop round to their house and look them in the eyes and say "Whats going on? I thought we were mates?" but not here.
I do not want to belittle the friendships and love that can be built up here,and a lot of the advice given out is top notch but be aware that it is not real life,don't get too attached to your cyber buddie because you never know when they might.............
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:19:08 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I do not want to belittle the friendships and love that can be built up here,and a lot of the advice given out is top notch but be aware that it is not real life,don't get too attached to your cyber buddie because you never know when they might.............


I have a really good friend that has been an cyber friend to me since the year 2001. She was one of the first people I ever added to my yahoo friend's list. Neither one of us goes into chatrooms anymore (that is like so 2001), but we are still friends.

I know we will meet one day, we keep intending to fly out to meet each other, and something always happens, but some day we will meet. She has been there with me to talk me out of panic attacks before I even knew I was having them, she saw me through a few break ups over the last decade. I have done the same for her. She has called me in the middle of the night, and I have done the same to her...

So, long story short, I might go a month without talking to her, but then she is on my mind, or I am on hers, and we will talk for a couple of hours at a time about what is going on with us... 10 years of this. I love this woman. She is precious to me.

Maybe you don't get that, and I don't expect you to, all I know is how I feel about her and her friendship

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:22:40 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		I do get it, and I hope your friendship continues even if you don't meet up

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:28:28 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		How do you know it's just a cyber friendship?  Do you have any clue how many people from these boards have also shared phone calls and/or personal visits with that person?  There are people on these boards that I haven't seen in person for a year or more.  That doesn't mean that I think any less of their friendship.  

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:29:00 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		Personally speaking, I think FukinTroll is a nice guy.  He's pretty down-to-Earth.  I get what you're saying about the whole clique atmosphere that plagues any forum.  It is what it is.  These people all talk trash behind eachother's backs and put on this grand fake impression to one another that even through text makes me want to shudder in how plastic it is. 

Online friendship is fine and I see no problem with it in terms of individuals that are on MSN or whatever.  In terms of message boards/communities you're just playing politics and damage control.  How droll.


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(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:43:07 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How do you know it's just a cyber friendship?  Do you have any clue how many people from these boards have also shared phone calls and/or personal visits with that person?  There are people on these boards that I haven't seen in person for a year or more.  That doesn't mean that I think any less of their friendship.  

I don't know how many people know this person personally( that sounds wrong) but you don't send a birthday card to the old address in the hope that they might move back to their old house do you?
Real friends would tell you where they are going or at least get in touch when they got there, but that's the freedom the internet gives you,one click and you're gone.
Hate to have to say this but people get the wrong end of the stck so easily( when you can't see or hear them) this is not an attack on a particular person just a thread worth a discussion,maybe

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:47:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How do you know it's just a cyber friendship?  Do you have any clue how many people from these boards have also shared phone calls and/or personal visits with that person?  There are people on these boards that I haven't seen in person for a year or more.  That doesn't mean that I think any less of their friendship.  

I don't know how many people know this person personally( that sounds wrong) but you don't send a birthday card to the old address in the hope that they might move back to their old house do you?
Real friends would tell you where they are going or at least get in touch when they got there, but that's the freedom the internet gives you,one click and you're gone.
Hate to have to say this but people get the wrong end of the stck so easily( when you can't see or hear them) this is not an attack on a particular person just a thread worth a discussion,maybe


I am trying to understand your post here, are you saying that being an internet friend makes it easier to disappear? Well yeah, it does.... But people can disappear from your life in the real world too. I have had many "friends" over the years that moved on, or got busy had less time for our friendship, or perhaps I moved and we didn't keep up contact.... this is not just an internet phenomena.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 5:48:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Let's cut to the chase.

I do happen to have his phone number and he's got Mine. 

If he closed that profile and opened another one, your analogy might be a little closer.  People take breaks from this site for various reasons.  It just means they will be back when/if it fits their life again.

By the way, just because a person doesn't log on doesn't mean they don't see what happens around here.  Case in point, a few months ago, someone started a thread here to allow people to give their condolences to MP when his mother passed away.  I can't even remember when the last time was he had logged on here prior to that.  It doesn't mean that folks here don't know him, consider him a friend of theirs, or that he doesn't know that people were thinking about him in his time of grief.  A number of us know each other away from the boards and they know that just because he doesn't post here doesn't mean he doesn't give a crap about their friendship or their good wishes. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:01:41 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		What you don't know is that most of us are quite familiar that the poster in question has a life outside CM and freqently disappears for intervals.
And so even though you aren't addressing this specifically here you made it personal on the thread and a birthday thread is about celebration and not pissing in the pool. .
What you are unfamilair with is history and without the benefit of that history you made assumptions and showed poor 'sportmanship' as it were.

I suppose it would be a bit like a drunken party crasher showing up at your birthday just in time to puke on the cake before you've blown out the candles.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Why do you care about who wishes whom happy birthday and whether or not they are here to enjoy it.
We enjoy thinking about the joy that person's postings have brought to us.

I understand that perhaps your actual question is how vested do we get in cyber friendships and the truth of that varies depending on the depth of the relationship and the people involved.




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(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:20:29 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Sheesh, all this over a birthday thread?

Why does it matter to you how serious folks take their online friendships?

Sounds like a lot of spilt milk. Next I bet you're going to post a thread about online cliques.


(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:25:21 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

Sheesh, all this over a birthday thread?

Why does it matter to you how serious folks take their online friendships?

Sounds like a lot of spilt milk. Next I bet you're going to post a thread about online cliques.

it doesn't really,just trying to point out that those online friendships might not be as serious as they think.
Also online cliques can stop open debate by drowning out the voices they don't like

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:27:24 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster


it doesn't really,just trying to point out that those online friendships might not be as serious as they think.



And.....?

If it doesn't matter, why start a thread about it?

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:30:32 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		because it clearly matters to some people obviously

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:31:50 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Years ago, on another website, that has either gone totally to shit or I've changed that much.......I got to know two women. One became the love of my life and the other is one of my best friends EVER. The first is gone. The second....we may not talk for weeks or months at a time, but if she ever comes back through Iowa, she knows where the key is even if I am not here. I trust her completely. More than most people I know. I also know if I ever get to Victoria BC, I have a bed.....no matter what is going on in her life.

Two of the most important people in my life, began is cyber friendships.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:33:00 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Orrrrrrrr.......

It has nothing to do with 'the clique' and instead with the individual behavior/attitude of some people that nobody wants to hear from on the site. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:34:10 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Clear as mud.

What's clear....that some people feel the need to explain to you why online friendships matter to them....

or....that you need to somehow prove to people that online friendships can't be real?

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:34:42 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		And, how does the OP know whether or not Troll left without telling any of us who know him that he was going to be away for awhile, and/or why?
How very presumptuous.

Also, online voices we don't like might not be so unlikable if they didn't make themselves that way, and therefore have only their own whining selves to blame, yes?
Just sayin'.

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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 6:40:59 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		yes especially to you apparently.


I have had real life friends come and go.

I have had internet friendships come and go.

The people that are in your life that make you happy and you bring them some joy ... you should enjoy them in that moment and not worry that oh well next week you might disappear.
If they do then i appreciate the time i had with them and hope that life is good to them.

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 10:10:44 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I've never traded a pixel with FukinTroll, he went absent before I got here, but I saw him mentioned, and what was said made me think that the one posting, who I happen to like, likes this FukinTroll guy. So I went to the search and looked up his posts and started reading. I went back 6 or 7 months, reading his posts and the threads he was in. And guess what? I like him.

I hope he does log back in soon, because I want to interact with him. So I made a post on his birthday thread. maybe he'll notice it when he does come back, or maybe he's lurking and has read it already. I made the post because after reading a whole bunch of his stuff I have an idea of what he's like. I've read all of his advice and taken a lot of it to heart. He may not know I exist, but I consider him one of my friends, because he's been a great help to me, even in his absence. Friendship can take many forms, but to me, in the final analysis, a friend is somebody who helps you when you need it, even if what is said is uncomfortable. A lot of his advice made me uncomfortable at first, but on refection it was helpful.

So he's my friend, and even if he never comes back, he'll still be my friend.

(in reply to hardcybermaster)
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RE: cyber friendships - 6/14/2011 10:18:51 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I've never traded a pixel with FukinTroll, he went absent before I got here, but I saw him mentioned, and what was said made me think that the one posting, who I happen to like, likes this FukinTroll guy. So I went to the search and looked up his posts and started reading. I went back 6 or 7 months, reading his posts and the threads he was in. And guess what? I like him.


He is quite a character, and I wished him happy birthday even though I had not seen him around because I was hoping he might log in and check it out. I know several people here have personal relationships with him, so I thought maybe someone may have given him a heads up about the thread in his honor. Alas, I do not know him personally, but he has been around under different names for years... he has always been a very positive person on this forum, and yes, even missed by those of us that do not have his number and have never met him

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
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