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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 9:43:58 AM

BonesFromAsh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bradshaw123

That's the type of financial sub i want to be, not one of those guys that buy random domme's from all around the world gifts from amazon because they have a pretty picture.

Be careful what you say and offer....it just might happen.

Instead of slapping on the label of "financial sub", why not say non-sexual service?

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 10:11:26 AM

bradshaw123

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Two things (even though I'm repeating Myself from another thread two days ago).

Yes, for some people, your age will be a factor. It works in the kink world just like it does everywhere else. A number of women in their forties aren't going to be interested in a dynamic with someone young enough to be their son.

The other is, please get your terms right. If you express that you are interested in being a financial sub, what you are describing above isn't what a lot of people take that to mean. A financial sub is generally someone who gives their money to the Dominant because it is a kink. On a written forum, you need to be clear about what you are expressing to other people.

Thank you for clearing that up, I'm 18 and just joined this site yesterday so I don't know all the terms that great yet. (I am looking threw other threads to learn though)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

quote:

ORIGINAL: bradshaw123

That's the type of financial sub i want to be, not one of those guys that buy random domme's from all around the world gifts from amazon because they have a pretty picture.

Be careful what you say and offer....it just might happen.

Instead of slapping on the label of "financial sub", why not say non-sexual service?

Thank you, exactly the term i should use

< Message edited by bradshaw123 -- 6/16/2011 10:13:10 AM >

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 10:43:16 AM

AAkasha

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What you need is a cougar femdom with no financial needs to take you under her - err - wing - and show you a thing or two.

Whistles innocently.

Akasha

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 10:52:12 AM

Rochsub2009

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Bradshaw123,
If I were you, I'd be composing a private message to Akasha right now.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 10:58:42 AM

SexyBossyBBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
eta; just a quick question. has anybody ever heard of female money slave? i haven't

I have heard of female money slaves.
Even in some vanilla marriages, there are women who work, and hand over the check to husband at the end of the week, and he determines how the money is saved or spent.

Edited to add, I also know at least 2 couples, where the husband does the same, hands over the check.
This is not to say bradshaw123, that you were out of line, or that you should ever give anyone you're not in a relationship with anything. Everything is negotiable, you just have to find someone who does/is what you want. Additionally, look at social circles in your area, try to join, befriend people that way.
Good luck, M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 6/16/2011 11:23:51 AM >

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 12:07:15 PM

Arturas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bradshaw123

I was talking to a dominant woman (or so i thought) threw private messages.

Me: I started off by sending her a message saying how beautiful she was, and asking her if she wanted to chat to see if we made a good match.

Her: She replied telling me i had to send a picture, and pretty much she wanted me to be a financial slave

ME: I sent a picture and let her know i wanted to get to know her a little better before i would send any money.

HER: "yeah im not asking for weekly tributes, just one to start this relationship coz i want to be sure you wont waste my time..."
(this seemed fishy to me, it could just be some guy sitting at his computer with a picture of a hot girl as his picture trying to scam people out of their money)

Me: I asked if she could send a picture proving that she was who she said she was and not a 50 year old guy... or we could meet somewhere and i could tribute to her then.

Her: she said "YOU think i look like a 50 YEAR OLD GUY?" (obviously not what i said)

Me: I explained again what i meant making it very clear that i thought the pictures were beautiful and i just wanted to make sure it was her.

Her: w/e bye

Was i out of line in what i asked? The last thing i want to do here is disrespect anyone, but i also do not want to be taken advantage of by someone i don't think its. (Don't get me wrong i do want to be taken advantage of by true female doms lol)

You did fine. If she is serious she would have been fine with this request. I suggest asking the next one to do a brief face to face on the video chattroom as a better way to prove she is a she and you are not.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 12:17:52 PM

LadyPact

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Baloney, Art.

I'm a Dominant woman. I'm not signing on to some damn video chat because somebody demands that I do so. Shit, if they can't pick at random one of the hundreds of people who have met Me in real life and verify this is who I am, they can get of of their ass and go to the local munch that I'll probably be at anyway.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 1:05:19 PM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
I suggest asking the next one to do a brief face to face on the video chattroom as a better way to prove she is a she and you are not.

I agree with LadyPact on this one. I'm not doing a video chat! That may work for some people (obviously, it's an approach that you use), but it doesn't work for me.

Frankly, I don't even have a webcam. But even if I did, I wouldn't do it. I get far too many requests from "Dommes" who want to redirect me to Yahoo, or who want me to jump onto webcam 30 seconds after starting a dialogue.

I'm still old fashioned. I prefer to meet face-to-face in a neutral, public location. Starbucks is a great place to meet. Or a diner. Or if the timing is right, we can meet at a munch (my local group only holds munches once per month).

Despite the advances in technology, I find that I still have the best luck evaluating people face-to-face.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 1:19:56 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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I may have this wrong, but I was under the impression that financial slavery involved the slave giving money for nothing in return, that it was the handing over of the money that was the kink, and that if they were paying for anything beyond the Domme's notice it would ruin the thrill. Am I right?

quote:

Wouldn't a Pimp and his hookers fall into this general category?

From what Hanners has told me, that's more like a protection racket.

quote:

I have heard of female money slaves.
Even in some vanilla marriages, there are women who work, and hand over the check to husband at the end of the week, and he determines how the money is saved or spent.

Again, assuming my interpretation of financial slavery is correct, I don't think this would apply either, since the money is subsidiary to the relationship as a whole, rather than the entire basis of it.

In one couple Hanners knows, the sub handles all the money because the Domme doesn't want to be bothered with it. She hands over her paycheck to her sub, and the sub determines how its used (presumably based on a general outline established by the Domme, but I don't know for sure), would this qualify the Domme as a money slave? It would seem to by the rationale in your post.

I'm beginning to see that the deeper you dig into this stuff, the less clear things become. It's not just that there are no easy answers, in a lot of cases there just is no answer. This can get pretty frustrating at times if you're like me and like to have a definitive answer to things. What a fascinating little hobby we have, eh?

Edit
Ooops, sorry OP. To answer your question; no I don't think you were out of line at all, the putative Domme was. I just can't wrap my head around the idea of "pay before I talk". Even with a hooker you get to hear her and speak to her first.

I was about to say that I didn't mean to imply that I was equating a money Domme to a hooker, but I'm not so sure the analogy isn't apt in some ways.

Edit#2
<Oh dear, I've probably gone and put my foot in it this time haven't I?>

< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 6/16/2011 1:28:03 PM >

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 1:27:40 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bradshaw123

Alright i think i gave the wrong impression when saying I'm a financial sub.. I'm mainly just want to be a slave, and if i develop a strong relationship with a domme then I would be mostly a slave with a tinny financial sub side. I'm 18 and about to go to college, I would probably be the worst financial sub on the planet the most money i usually have at a time is like 10 bucks.

ex: here is a good example of the type of financial sub i want to be: If i had a local domme, i would serve her has a chauffeur, drive her all around town where ever she needed to go.. and while she was out shopping, i would pick her up treats, and get her gifts. Gas alone driving around town for a while costs like 10-15 bucks, and all the treats i would buy her would add up too.
That's the type of financial sub i want to be, not one of those guys that buy random domme's from all around the world gifts from amazon because they have a pretty picture.

Then ignore each and every single woman that shows even the slightest inclination they are looking for a financial slave.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 1:31:06 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
I suggest asking the next one to do a brief face to face on the video chattroom as a better way to prove she is a she and you are not.

I agree with LadyPact on this one. I'm not doing a video chat! That may work for some people (obviously, it's an approach that you use), but it doesn't work for me.

Frankly, I don't even have a webcam. But even if I did, I wouldn't do it. I get far too many requests from "Dommes" who want to redirect me to Yahoo, or who want me to jump onto webcam 30 seconds after starting a dialogue.

I'm still old fashioned. I prefer to meet face-to-face in a neutral, public location. Starbucks is a great place to meet. Or a diner. Or if the timing is right, we can meet at a munch (my local group only holds munches once per month).

Despite the advances in technology, I find that I still have the best luck evaluating people face-to-face.

Ahh yup. Pictures and video don't mean a thing to me. Not even pictures of chubby old guys holding an art project and a tattered, badly written book.

They've got to show up and make themselves worth my time, and theirs.

Pictures and video I can get alllll by myself on the world wide web.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 1:44:43 PM

LadyConstanze

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And Roch is going to break my heart again, he's not going to dance for me on cam, oh it's just not my lucky day is it...

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 2:17:25 PM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
This is really simple. If you are not willing to give people money just to talk to you, don't do it. Most lifestyle Dommes aren't going to redirect you to other chats (yahoo msn, etc), websites that you have to pay to join, or try to separate you from your money just to meet/talk with you.

Gotta comment on this one ...

We don't ask for money from anyone until they are helping to run up bills/expenses - but we do move to yahoo fairly quickly because it's easier. Just because someone wants you to switch to yahoo doesn't mean that they are just after money.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 2:25:29 PM

BKSir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
This is really simple. If you are not willing to give people money just to talk to you, don't do it. Most lifestyle Dommes aren't going to redirect you to other chats (yahoo msn, etc), websites that you have to pay to join, or try to separate you from your money just to meet/talk with you.

Gotta comment on this one ...

We don't ask for money from anyone until they are helping to run up bills/expenses - but we do move to yahoo fairly quickly because it's easier. Just because someone wants you to switch to yahoo doesn't mean that they are just after money.

Agreed. Granted I prefer AIM, but, same principle. Sure, Cmails are nice, but, I do much prefer chat clients. And as far as the money thing goes, I don't recall ever wanting money from a sub. Unless I'm telling them "Hey, it's your turn to buy dinner." ;) But 99% of the time it's them begging me to stop getting them little gifts, and me saying, "No, I want to. Deal with it." XD

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 2:43:00 PM

LadyPact

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Was a bit quick with the reply. I was meaning immediate redirect to other chats (such as the first email exchange) for the purposes of asking folks for money. I don't find that many folks who want to jump to an alternate form of address within the first couple of emails. From what I understand, that's a classic pattern to 'here, join this site for X amount of dollars a month'.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 3:35:46 PM

Back2theFuture

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Dude I totally feel you. I think you were quite justified in your suspicions and probably avoided getting scammed.

Perfect Paranoia is perfect awareness.

When I send pictures(most of mine are semi professional) I also send a normal picture so that people can tell I didn't just steal them off a site.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 6:58:59 PM

mummyman321

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I usually tell people if they want money from me, they are going to have to meet me in person so I can deliver it. Funny....I have never had anyone take me up on that offer :)

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 8:24:25 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What you need is a cougar femdom with no financial needs to take you under her - err - wing - and show you a thing or two.

Whistles innocently.

Akasha

Bloody hell, subtle as squadron of Heinkels, as always.

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 8:27:37 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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I think he should be writing to Aakasha right about now too!

(edited because I responded before reading the rest of the thread....)

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 6/16/2011 8:33:58 PM >

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RE: Was i out of line? - 6/16/2011 8:31:50 PM

LadyHibiscus