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Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:11:21 PM

Lisa976

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/19/2005
Status: offline

i am new to the D/s world, but am learning slowly,,,,,however there is one thing that i am having a very hard time with,,,,my Sir has mentioned a few times about having me on a leash at certain times in play,,,i define myself as a sub and NOT a slave and to me the idea of a leash makes me feel like i am just property or a dog,,which i am neither,,,so for my sanity and to please Him i am trying to figure this out,,,so here is the question do you use a leash in play and if so do you ever feel degraded (in a way not meant to be)? or are you proud of being lead around by your Sir/Master??

Post #: 1

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:13:50 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

If a leash isn't for you, it isn't for you. Some people love it. Yes, the purpose is to make you feel degraded--to be led around by your dom like a dog. And not to be able to walk your own way...

(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 2

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:16:55 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I absolutely love being on a leash. Makes me all warm and happy *s* and i'm not a slave. makes me feel closer to the one holding the end of the leash. Makes me feel possessed and precious. I have always felt very proud to be on a leash.

Then again if you look at my profile picture you'd notice i have a thing for leashes hehe

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(in reply to Lisa976)

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RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:20:56 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

I love it.However, I am not you and you are not me.

*smiles*

I would suggest sitting down with your Dom and speaking with him openly about your "issues" with the leash. Use I statements so he doesn't feel like your attacking his desires or kink.

If you decide this is something you want to get used to for him my suggestion is this. If there is a time when your home alone doing your stuff around the house or simply lounging attach the leash and let it hang (as long as it doesn't get caught up). By doing this I know I was able to get used to the idea of having it on. I was also able to get past that issue of feeling like fido.

Good luck

&

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

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Post #: 4

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:22:28 PM

tangldupinblue

Posts: 230
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline

its not always ment to degrade you , it just may be his way of keeping you close to him, my Daddy attaches my leash to bed to keep my head in place and that always send in into space.

blue

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 5

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:25:28 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

When we use it, it's as a physical connection and a reminder that we are there ... not for humiliation.

(in reply to tangldupinblue)

Post #: 6

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:25:42 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

My girl loves being on a leash. She even dared me to take her into the post office leashed. I balked, so she then 'triple dog' dared me! I couldn't let a triple dog dare go unanswered, could I? As far as we're concerned, it is not a degradation thing at all. It's more about exercising control and...well now...showing pride of ownership and indicating my intent to keep secure that which I hold precious.

Bob

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(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 7

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:26:06 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I have not had a leash used on me in play. I have never been collared either, and a leash denotes ownership in my mind. I have many fantasies about leashes though. I have this one fantasy in which I am wearing a black latex outfit with fishnet stocking, my hair curly and bright red lipstick with 6 inch heels... I would look rather freakish being led on a leash in this outfit in my mind because with 6 inch heels I would be 6 foot 4,..... kinda makes my exhibitionist heart beat a little faster and harder just to contemplate that....lol. So now everyone knows my favorite leash fantasy (I know...TMI)

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(in reply to Lisa976)

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RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 10:36:39 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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I'm not into puppy play or degradation, but I love being walked around on a leash at fetish event. My ex used to love to tug me a bit to keep me off-balance, which was amusing to him and a little humiliating for me. That kind of humbling play I always enjoy.

Sometimes he'd slowly shorten the lead while I wasn't playing attention so that all of a sudden I would realize I had no free movement, and he'd keep me tight to his side which made me feel protected and owned.

Cin

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Post #: 9

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/14/2006 11:27:01 PM

CmotDribbler

Posts: 83
Joined: 1/17/2006
From: canada
Status: offline

We don't use our Leash for degredation, it is both a symbol of her position to mine, that I am in control and i lead her, and a way of making sure she stays close when her mind starts to wander.

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(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 10

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 5:17:37 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

Leashes aren't a hot kink for Libby and myself... well I should say "weren't" because Rio went out and had a heavy gauge labia ring put in so we could lead her by it. That should answer your question if some submissives enjoy/are proud about being leashed.

She'll probably be on the leash a lot at Orlando Leatherfest next month.

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(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 11

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 5:29:21 AM

piscess

Posts: 101
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lisa976

i am new to the D/s world, but am learning slowly,,,,,however there is one thing that i am having a very hard time with,,,,my Sir has mentioned a few times about having me on a leash at certain times in play,,,i define myself as a sub and NOT a slave and to me the idea of a leash makes me feel like i am just property or a dog,,which i am neither,,,so for my sanity and to please Him i am trying to figure this out,,,so here is the question do you use a leash in play and if so do you ever feel degraded (in a way not meant to be)? or are you proud of being lead around by your Sir/Master??

There are many reasons for a leash, I happened to love mine. Talk to your Sir/Master and let him know why you do not like it. I am sure he will help you to either accept it, or change his mind about using one. It all begins with you speaking to him about it first.

piscess

(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 12

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 5:56:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I am into being degraded and treated like property- but I don't get into leashes. I've had two people go into lengthy discussions with me trying to somehow convince me of their merits- which is quite irritating really.

Ultimately you have to decide whether leashes are a big enough deal for you to make the relationship not compatible, whether it's THAT important to him. After all, people can MENTION a lot of things, but if you say "I really don't like that, is it ok if we don't really do it that much?" they might just say "Oh sure, it was just something I mentioned" So check that road out before you freak out that you're gonna be leashed all the time and miserable.

Secondly, give it a try. Leashes are pretty low on the physical risk scale, and at least you can say firsthand that you've given it a shot and just found it's not for you. No real harm done there.

Still don't like it? No problem, just communicate it.

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(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 13

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 6:46:19 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like an area you need to negotiate on.

If it makes you feel negative and bad then you need to stand up for yourself.

If it something he wants and needs he should stand up for himself.

Maybe you can come to a compromise but maybe you can't. Better to learn this early on than to let either of you agree to something that will build up negatively and work against your relationship from the inside out.

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(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 14

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 7:19:26 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lisa976

...or are you proud of being lead around by your Sir/Master??

proud AND secure AND cherished. being at the end of Master's leash, public or private, isn't degrading--quite the opposite, it is a comforting, tangible expression of the dynamic of our relationship.

as far as the inference that it is supposed to "degrade"~this slave has a lot of respect for man's "best friend", in that she has had many canine best friends who deserved more respect than several humans she knows. she has never put a four-legged canine on a leash to "drag him around", protect, guide or guard OTHERS from him, but to protect, guide and guard him FROM others, himself, or situations that would be harmful or damaging, as well as a constant reminder of who is in control.

(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 15

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 8:08:21 AM

sabswife

Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

im a sub and i in no way feel degraded at the idea of a leash. a leash makes me feel dominated (which obviously i love) and yes -- secure and cherished (i mean you wouldnt put someone on a leash you wanted to let go of would you?)

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Post #: 16

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 8:54:12 AM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I don't see leashes as degrading at all. (Although I do fully understand how some feel that way, and that's A-OK.)

For me, a leash symbolizes ownership, protection, guidance, security. It symbolizes a mental tether between Owner and owned. It symbolizes an extention of the collar.

When I put a dog on a leash, it's for only 2 reasons: 1) so the dog won't run away, and 2) city leash law.
When I put a submissive on a leash, it has nothing to do with either of those reasons. It's because I like it. Because I want to guide his actions, guide his direction, show how proud I am to have him, keep him at my beckon call, make him feel secure, make him feel protected, send the message that he is off-limits to others, make him feel treasured, and reinforce the bond between us.

If my submissive felt degraded on a leash, instead of treasured and precious, I'd reconsider using it.

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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 17

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 9:04:54 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

mmmm I love a leash, to hold it at night--mmm so sexy and to place in the car when I want to make a point and in the evening--so hold it as we have a quiet evening reading, watching tv, etc

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(in reply to Lisa976)

Post #: 18

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 10:33:34 AM

SweetEscravo

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

First, talk about it. Discuss how it would be used, the way you would be treated ect. Using a leash does not have to be degrading or puppy like...

Then, try it, just once. Give it your all and do as he says.

Talk again. Never going to do it again? Maybe? Loved it? Why and why not? Talk to your dom about everything. If you didnt hate it, try it again in a different context that you like more.

And if you end up disliking it, oh well. Move on.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 19

RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/15/2006 10:52:54 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i used to hold the same thoughts about leashes.

not quite the same anymore. i am giddy and i love leashes during play its cute and kinky, i feel dominated not degraded.

its different for me in public, although, i dont have the guts for locally yet.

i like it during events or large outings/gatherings. i am not much of a crowd person so for me being leashed up is a total security thing. i also feel like i am being shown off, which i kinda like, it makes me proud of my status.

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