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RE: Question about "leashes"? - 5/17/2006 10:08:04 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		People keep talking about being degraded as though it were a bad thing.  It doesn't have to be.  If you don't feel degraded by wearing a leash, OK, that's just how it is, but if you DO feel degraded, that's not necessarily a reason to avoid the leash.

(in reply to LadyJezOfTheLake)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 10:25:12 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Speak for yourself, I like my leash, and it's not about degrading me or humilating me either.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Yes, the purpose is to make you feel degraded--to be led around by your dom like a dog.  And not to be able to walk your own way...

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 11:01:06 AM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		No TM I here julia. you paint a very good picture.

Since I have a shoe fetish it wouldn't bother me a bit if
you towered over my 6ft. With the right hairdo you
could appear even taller. and on a leash..........oofda!!!

TMI?


_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 12:53:26 PM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have not had a leash used on me in play. I have never been collared either, and a leash denotes ownership in my mind.

I have many fantasies about leashes though.......

.....snipping out the good stuff.........




Dear OP, J, and all gentle readers...

I sure don't think a leash necessarily means humiliation,
as some have suggested, though I'm sure it could be.

#1. Maybe the guy just likes the look of the leash on her,
and the feel of tugging her around....

#2. Sometimes saying nothing, and just tugging the leash is efficient.
........... and turning off the words makes everything more intense...

#3. For me, it's about about displaying in a visceral way,
both the treasure on the end of the leash AND the nature of the relationship.
That's where the juice is for me.
Plus, it gives the neighbors another great reason not to invite
us to boring dinner parties with cheap wine and lame political talk.

my sense of my motivations... at least today...
#1 = 5%
#2 = 10%
#3 = 75%

DD

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 1:56:18 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I would love to be on a leash but Hubby isn't interested. 

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Lisa976)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 2:16:24 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		If you have your wrists tied behind your back, are gagged and have  a collar around your neck with a ring in it, how are you going to stop your Sir/ Master from attaching a leash to it?

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 3:28:46 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

my sense of my motivations... at least today...
#1 = 5%
#2 = 10%
#3 = 75%
DD


What's reason for the other 10% you left out??

To the OP i think you should give it a try and see how it makes you feel.  If its something your dom enjoys, why wouldn't you want to at least indulge him in it.  He could ask for worse, like GS (being peed on) , now you are talking deredation/humiliation, not that that's a bad thing.  You might even feel like the others have stated - connected, protected, cherished, etc...

i personally think if a sub draws so many lines in the sand - what's the point in calling oneself a submissive?  Not everything we do is going to make us feel all "warm and fuzzy" and i don't think it's supossed to.  Doing things that make you uncomfortable challenge your submission and make you grow.  You'll be surprised at how  you feel once you allow yourself these experiences. 

Hope you give it a try ;-)

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 3:29:59 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

If you have your wrists tied behind your back, are gagged and have  a collar around your neck with a ring in it, how are you going to stop your Sir/ Master from attaching a leash to it?


*chuckles* good point popeye, i like the way you think!!

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 3:41:59 PM   
amoretta


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline 		Personally I adore it.. and one way to get past the feeling like a dog bit is to make the leash your own. Get a nylon one and put rhinestones on it.. make your own out of satin or silk (you can get the hardware parts at Home Depot).. etc. There are lots of fun and creative way to not only make it different than a dog's regular leash, but your Master's and your fashion statement as well. :)

_____________________________

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

(in reply to Lisa976)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 4:12:27 PM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

What's reason for the other 10% you left out??

To the OP i think you should give it a try and see how it makes you feel. 


i personally think if a sub draws so many lines in the sand - what's the point in calling oneself a submissive?  Not everything we do is going to make us feel all "warm and fuzzy" and i don't think it's supossed to.  Doing things that make you uncomfortable challenge your submission and make you grow. 

You'll be surprised at how  you feel once you allow yourself these experiences. 

Hope you give it a try ;-)



Greetings gentle readers...

>>What's reason for the other 10% you left out??

#1. I like to joke around, especially about important things.
#2. all behaviour is over-determined
http://www.collarchat.com/m_516467/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#516700
 
#. Dark matter of the soul.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_481586/mpage_1/key_dark%252Cmatter/tm.htm#483045

#4. I like odd numbers, odd people, odd conversations,
odd sex, and especially odd relationships where the power is oddly distributed.


>>i personally think if a sub draws so many lines in the sand - what's the point in calling oneself a submissive?

Precisely.
Especially with something so physically harmless like a leash.
Being leashed and lead is physically nothing, but totally submissive in tone, eh?


>>Not everything we do is going to make us feel all "warm and fuzzy" and i don't think it's supossed to

Yeah, it's like only eating the food that you like best.
Pleasure in the short term... but in the long term you get _____________.



>>Doing things that make you uncomfortable challenge your submission and make you grow. 

Jeeezzuz Keeerist ... Velvet, you sound Doctor Phil.
In my world-view you don't submit as a "growth-experience".
If you wanna do that, piss away your money in the self-help
section at Borders.... or join Tony Robbins cult...
or best of all..... sign up as a submissive with the wonderfully
nefarious T. Harv. Ecker and go to his seminars.
Best cult leader in the world these days, in my opinion.

In my world-view, one submits and surrenders
because it's an expression of your soul,
and without surrender your life is inauthentic.
(violins and cellos build to a crescendo, hankies to the ready......)

But what da fuck do I know?

DD
PS.... i still think a naked woman
on a leash is fun, sexy, and powerful.
Bind her wrists behind her back
with a double larks head + bowline to the waist,
and it's a work of art.




(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 5:13:33 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

Jeeezzuz Keeerist ... Velvet, you sound Doctor Phil.
In my world-view you don't submit as a "growth-experience".


LMOA at Dr. Phil - i don't even like his advice half the time.  i should have qualified what  i meant by "growth" - it simply meant expand your submission/submissive boundaries.

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 6:00:56 PM   
shyfem


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Good evening all,
 
Interesting topic. I have mixed feelings on the subject of leashes. I would be willing to try wearing one though because at one time I would have never allowed a collar either. I did try a collar in play, and felt proud that the Dom who put it on me wanted me to wear it, as he stated, so it would remind me that for that evening I was giving him complete control.
 
I think the same might be true if my current Dom ever wanted to collar or leash me. Although, for me, it would have to be private play, mainly because I am not "out" and would not feel comfortable unless at a lifestyle event. But I would try it, the humiliation factor probably wouldn't be there for me at all, I think it would just make me feel protected and closer to Him.
 
~shy
--------------------------------------------
May all who tread here find what they seek!

< Message edited by shyfem -- 8/2/2006 6:03:35 PM >

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 6:04:07 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I had a girlfriend once who was interested in me as my dominant (once she discovered my lifestyle), and one thing she loved to do was put a leash on me. But she wasn't exactly getting her equipment from a store that catered to bdsm equipment, so she usually used an actual dog leash and that kind of collar. It felt really bizarre at times, and I never really liked it, but she was so new to the lifestyle that I went along with it because it was definitely doing something for her, and in the end that was what was most important to me.

I would have practically done anything for her as her friend, partner, lover or slave, even if it meant being just her friend, her partner, he lover, or only her slave.

(in reply to Lisa976)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 6:24:28 PM   
angielouwhos


Posts: 87
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I see degradation as a very good thing. Leashes simply denote ownership and control in a situation. I agree though if they are a limit for someone they are a limit.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 8:06:22 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

i am new to the D/s world, but am learning slowly,,,,,however there is one thing that i am having a very hard time with,,,,my Sir has mentioned a few times about having me on a leash at certain times in play,,,i define myself as a sub and NOT a slave and to me the idea of a leash makes me feel like i am just property or a dog,,which i am neither,,,so for my sanity and to please Him i am trying to figure this out,,,so here is the question do you use a leash in play and if so do you ever feel degraded (in a way not meant to be)? or are you proud of being lead around by your Sir/Master??

 
 
Lisa ...the key words to keep in mind here are 'in play' ...play allows us to let go of preconceived ideas, preconceived egos, preconceived expectations and entrusting another to maximise our ability to do this in play sessions is part of the beauty of a d/s, b&d, or s&m exchange ...personally, and I mean no offense by this...I don't think it is the 'leash' that is the issue...but a desire to retain control...which is not a bad thing in itself ... we all need to be aware of what is good and not so good for us, emotionally, mentally, physically and for the soul ... but you say you are not property ...yet you are calling someone Sir/Master ... denoting some kind of authority or ownership of you ...emotionally ... take his leash...experience that for yourself in a physical sense ... kind of like feeling the fear, but doing it anyway ...with a trusted other ... can be an amazingly warm and bonding thing...
 
A Mistress, no longer in NZ, a professional domina, said in a documentary  ... "he may crawl into my dungeon a slave, but he leaves it as a CEO" ... ergo ... what a top/dom/master/mistress tears down, removes, takes from a slave/sub in play, is left on the floor of the dungeon .. the person is still the same person they were before ...but the submissive in them has evolved...the scene adding another layer, another dimension ..to themselves...but also to the relationship they have with their top/Master/Mistress/dom..
 
Good luck, enjoy your journey & welcome to the boards

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to Lisa976)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 9:48:05 PM   
JustaDom


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I'm completely biased on this topic, I really enjoy leashing a girl. It can add a bit of kinky spice to the vanilla romantic walk in the woods and has a lot of practical value if you go to some of the huge events like Folsom or The Fetish Fair Fleamarket where there are thousands of people. A leash helps keep the vanilla onlooker crowd a little further away and prevents you from being separated.

Many pet store leashes are not strong enough for people and most are intended to be cheap and disposable. A strong leash is important because it is like bondage except instead of being bound to an object like a bed, you are bound to a person at the other end. Buying something that is expressly made for BDSM play is more expensive than ones made for dogs but often worth it as the leatherworker takes more pride in their product. They are stronger, look better and may be suitable for bondage with a few padlocks. The first piece of bondage gear I made was a leash and I put in a bunch of d-rings to give it attachment points so I can quickly and easily tether someone to a pole, bedpost or whatnot.

I just noticed that you started this thread in mid-May. Do you have an update? Did you try wearing a leash and if so, how did it go? If you haven't yet, I hope that you at least give it a try with an open mind and have fun with it. Leashes are a lot fun for a lot of kinky people and based on that, there is a good chance that you will like it too. If you feel owned and/or degraded in a good way, great. If not, then maybe leashes aren't your thing and that's cool too.

As an aside, I was buying a leash and dog collar a few years back in a very conservative Texas town. As I wrote earlier, most pet store leashes are junk but these were made of good, thick sturdy nylon webbing, which is much better than leather for the hot tub at the party I was going to. Also, the leash had a very interesting European design that I wanted to adapt for a leather version. The casher asked me “how big is your dog?” I looked at her kind of quizzically and asked her why that was important. “We don't want you to have to come back to return it if it isn't the right size.”
I nodded, put the exact change on the counter and told her “Five feet, five inches tall.” She didn't say anything after that, I guess she agreed with me that I had the right size.

Best of luck to you,

Joe

(in reply to Lisa976)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 10:42:26 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Joe, lol ... reminds me of standing in a hardware store, arms in the air, spread wide and legs stretched, in four inch heels , asking a store attendant to take measurements, telling him to take a measurement here, a measurement there..lol his face was priceless...but even moreso when his colleagues came to watch ... got a good discount too  ;)
 
I really enjoy using a leash, the concept of a leash ...whether it be a traditional leash and collar, or a cock leash or nipple rings attached to a lead ... the very act of attaching a leash or taking it off can be quite the ritual in itself ...as can the very use of being attached to one...like you say is like bondage, bound to the person, as opposed to an object...the realities are the same...but it's an active bondage, as opposed to passive,
 
A personal quirk of mine...if I have put them on a leash, I won't let a sub hold it while it is attached to their collar/self ...unclipping them if I need them to run an errand or no longer wanting to hold the leash myself ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to JustaDom)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/2/2006 11:51:43 PM   
Wolfie648


Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lisa976

i am new to the D/s world, but am learning slowly,,,,,however there is one thing that i am having a very hard time with,,,,my Sir has mentioned a few times about having me on a leash at certain times in play,,,i define myself as a sub and NOT a slave and to me the idea of a leash makes me feel like i am just property or a dog,,which i am neither,,,so for my sanity and to please Him i am trying to figure this out,,,so here is the question do you use a leash in play and if so do you ever feel degraded (in a way not meant to be)? or are you proud of being lead around by your Sir/Master??


Dear Lisa (and I do mean that sincerely)

From what I am reading in that paragraph I would agree that you are a submissive and not a slave - a good thing to know.

A submissive has the power to say no. A slave does not (in my small world) so yes you can say no I don't want to wear that leash if that degrades you (emphasis *if that degrades you* (some subs like wearing a leash)). Some people here will say yes that's degrading some will say no it's not - the point is _whether you feel degraded or not_. As a sub you can say um no subby don't play that game (in my world) as a slave (in my world) you are wearing the leash and we are the f--k going with a leash on if I say so and you can get on your knees while we do so. Among other things.

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/3/2006 1:39:10 AM   
Maxiann


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline 		I am always taken out on a leash Master attaches it to the ring in centre of my nose. It gives me a wonderful feeling of being owned and enslaved. I feel so proud to be lead as its a blatent staement by my Master that I belong to him.

(in reply to Wolfie648)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Question about "leashes"? - 8/3/2006 8:36:45 AM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

... But she wasn't exactly getting her equipment from a store that catered to bdsm equipment, so she usually used an actual dog leash and that kind of collar. It felt really bizarre at times, and I never really liked it...



Interesting. I ONLY use authentic pet leashes both for my submissive and my puppy, and make sure they know it. (I like all the different varieties.) It's certainly not my submissive's favorite thing in the world. But when my submissive was informed I had evaluated and selected the puppy, he handled it well, though he surprised me when he said, "You didn't use my leash, did you Ma'am? "Cuz that would make me mad." (!)


*edited to add a sentence.

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 8/3/2006 8:41:16 AM >

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a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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Profile   Post #: 60
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