A Question of Protocol (Full Version)

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Shine69 -> A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 8:12:29 AM)

Dear Dominatrix Ladies:

I have a question regarding permissible and correct protocol when trying to develop a new relationship with a dominant woman. I would appreciate your candid response. A dominatrix from TN contacted me on the Collarme site. I was flattered (maybe gullible too) that she contacted me. She requested I visit her web site and respond to her about my qualifications as a potential servant/boyfriend. I did and we have had several internet letter discussions. I have hoped to nurture a relationship with the dominatrix; however, her last response has caused me to question my next step. She wrote:

quote:

This is important and will show that you are genuine and ready to move forward to make this lifestyle a reality and not just something to masturbate to. You will send a cash gift. Reasons for you to send it are obvious. It shows you are genuine and not a small-minded masturbator on the Internet. If you don't wish to send then all you have said is meaningless, If you can obey this most annoying of orders then you will have passed an important test. I expect you to be generous and not selfish or short sighted. Remember you are nearly selected to become not just My slave but My life partner so if you fail in this then unfortunately you will have lost the opportunity. This is not negotiable


Dear Dominant Women should I respond through an Alert pay type system and do as she requests. I have not met this lady but want too. Should I back off because she is running a scam? Your candid thoughts please.

IShine69



StrikingBeauty -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 8:21:37 AM)

Have you seen that bright red message at the top of all emails?



LadyConstanze -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 8:22:39 AM)

You know, I wouldn't be all that against it if she'd maybe request a small present because she obviously has spent time with you and all that, but there is one massive massive warning bell going off that reads like this

quote:

Remember you are nearly selected to become not just My slave but My life partner so if you fail in this then unfortunately you will have lost the opportunity. This is not negotiable


Sorry, but her selection of a life partner depends on the cash he sends her and not upon meeting him first? A life partner is somebody you meet IRL!

How about you suggest that you will meet her in person and then hand her the gift? Because I have the odd feeling that you handing her anything will not be required then because she might not show up!



LadyPact -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 8:28:36 AM)

If you took the word "Dominatrix" out of your post above and just replaced it with the word "woman" would you be sending money to somebody that you never met before so they would marry you?



Shine69 -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 9:05:26 AM)

Dear Dominant Women:

Thank you for your quick response. Each of you have made very valid points. I did suggest in an email to the lady that we meet in a neutral place like Panera Bread; just to meet one another with no other intentions but to meet. She did not address the request in her reply email. The thought of again offering a meeting with the cash in hand does pose a good opportunity to test her genuineness. Although it appears obvious with the suggestion of "marriage without having met".

I know I am just another John to most Dominants but sometimes you need to take a risk or you stay dormant. You may not like the analogy but I would not hesitate to buy a $500 golf driver if I thought I would play better. Would it be dumb to take a chance on a nice one-time gift that might get me closer to the lady? OK I would not continue such gifts cause I would be the fool.

Any other thoughts?

Thanks again for your time!
The Best to Each of you Beautiful Dominants




LadyPact -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 9:28:43 AM)

I swear I'm trying to be polite.  I'm not sure I've had enough caffeine to do that.

Your analogy doesn't work.  If you were to spend money on a golf club, you know you are getting the golf club.  What do you *know* you are getting with your 'one time cash gift'?  It's very easy to see that you are not dealing with a reputable pro who is charging you a rate is exchange for a session.  You're talking to somebody who is selling you a pipe dream of becoming their sub for whatever it is you're willing to pay for the opportunity.  Do you know any women in your life who would sell you that song and dance?  Give Me a chunk of change and I'll start a relationship with you?  There are some relationships out there like that, where the guy just pays money for the sake of a woman on his arm, but it's not a one-time payment.

The reason that crap like this works is because people get desperate and are willing to believe just about anything.  You haven't even met this person!  Have you even verified that the person you have been emailing with is female?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:16:25 AM)

I do not refer to myself as a "dominatrix". Why would you refer to yourself as "just another john"? I find that incredibly offensive. I am not a prostitute, I am a dominant. Decide what YOU are looking for, and be sure you are seeking in the right arenas.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:21:05 AM)

FR..shine, treat her as a woman first,get to know here and make sure you both are seeking the same thing..just the word of advice from this ol; Master..B



Arpig -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:22:28 AM)

quote:

You know, I wouldn't be all that against it if she'd maybe request a small present because she obviously has spent time with you and all that,
I would. It's not a present or gift if you request it, it's a fee.



Arpig -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:27:57 AM)

quote:

Would it be dumb to take a chance on a nice one-time gift that might get me closer to the lady? OK I would not continue such gifts cause I would be the fool.
Not at all. In fact if you send me a nice little cash gift, I will indeed consider myself closer to you.

Don't be daft man, its a scam, a well run scam, but a scam all the same. If you want to pay to get your kink on, hire a reputable pro...that way you know you'll get your money's worth, and if you just want to send money to random people online, then send it to me...I really need it.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:28:26 AM)

So right, Arpig! I am pleased if they pay for my coffee & pastry! I can't feature asking for a gift IN ORDER to make a first date!

Though I will add that small tokens like a dark chocolate bar, or a knitting magazine do not go amiss! And show that he learned a bit about me.



Arpig -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:34:37 AM)

A gift is something the giver gives of their own volition, at a time of their choosing, with the expectation of nothing in return.

And giving a woman dark chocolate? Well, that's just good sense.

Hmmmmm..... knitting magazine? Would it still count as a gift if I folded over the page featuring that oh so warm and snuggley looking scarf.....



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:46:39 AM)

What is it with people and scarves, sheesh!

This whole OP isn't really about protocol as much as it is about common sense.



Shine69 -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:55:15 AM)

Greetings to all Dominants and thank you for the advice!

It appears obvious that the offer is a scam but I will allow her to show that side of herself. I posted the following response.


quote:

I read your email with mixed feelings and delayed answering you or following your instructions. It appears you are offering me a pipe dream. You do not know me yet suggest a potential slave/marriage relationship. I do not know any women selling that song and dance! Am I even communicating with a dominant woman? The web site I review of you appears to say "yes" a most beautiful dominatrix. If you had suggested a session with payment I would have accepted in a New York minute. I had also suggested meeting at a non threatening place like a Panera Bread. Simply meet and then move on per your prerogative. Yes I would even bring a financial gift just for the opportunity of meeting you. Sorry but trust and sincerity is a two way street regardless whether sub or dominant. Well as Danny Glover stated in Predator II "your move"

Shine69


All of you have been helpful. I am not desperate but would really like to establish a meaningful, genuine relationship with a dominant woman.


Shine69



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:56:45 AM)

See? Common sense! Know that you have value as a person, and it will show :)



LadyConstanze -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 10:57:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

You know, I wouldn't be all that against it if she'd maybe request a small present because she obviously has spent time with you and all that,
I would. It's not a present or gift if you request it, it's a fee.


True but not so unreasonable, a guy who'd see it as a token of appreciation would possibly not be too crazy (and I am talking something REASONABLE, a book, a perfume, a lovely bath salt, flowers, etc. not a new car or something like that) life partner without having ever met? Pull the other leg, it might have bells...



HannahLynHeather -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 11:15:09 AM)

quote:

What is it with people and scarves, sheesh!
it's not people and scarves, it's fucking canadians and scarves! i think it may have something to do with an average daily high of minus fucking 20 (-4 for the thermometricly challenged) for 3 months at a time.

quote:

Why would you refer to yourself as "just another john"?
because that's exactly what he fucking well is to her.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 11:25:50 AM)

Yeah, I was objecting to his saying he was just another john to most of us.

I am not about the scarves, though our weather sucks. HATS are the key, and coats with high collars.



ElanSubdued -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 11:27:06 AM)

Shine69,

Though you've already received plenty of good advice from others here, I'm going to add mine.  This morning, I'm not really in a mood for sugarcoating so I apologize if my words are a tad direct.

Switch off your BDSM brain and switch off your romantic image of living, happily ever after, with the Domme of your Dreams.  Having done so, re-evaluate this woman with a vanilla, common sense mindset.  She's showing a lack of good judgment.  But, more importantly, she's FUCKING blackmailing you, emotionally and financially!  Is this the kind of person you want to build a relationship with?  Hell no!  In a stroke of luck (though) and given that you met this woman in cyberland, fortunately you don't have to bag the garbage and take it out.  Yay!  No response is required.  Well, one response is probably fitting and it requires little effort on your part.  See that innocuous little button labeled "Block"?  Use it.  Now.

Elan.



SweetDommes -> RE: A Question of Protocol (6/18/2011 11:30:09 AM)

Oh, but scarves can be wrapped and draped in such interesting ways ... plus they will work as a gag or a rope if they happen to be close enough when needed lol

I also object to him saying that he's "just another john to most Dommes" - sorry, but I feel safe is saying that most of us do NOT feel that way. Particularly here on the boards, most of us are not interested in his (or anyone else's) cash - we want to know them as people first.



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