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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 11:02:14 AM

slvemike4u

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Interesting take LaTige....I will admit my views on this are colored by my own childhood...and my asshole dad(nice,it being Fathers Day and all...but he was..so there!)Many of my views on parenting were colored by the extreme failure of my father as a dad,my mothers own inability to deal with all the problems he presented...For instance one of the by-products of my fathers alcoholism was a plethora of parking tickets...so my mother with an awareness that he was fostering drinking in a child ,decided that the best of a bad situation would be if I was tasked with making sure the meters were fed...and so I continued to celebrate 18th birthdays long before my time.
MY father was a putz...but thanks to him I was a damm good father....I just looked at everything he did...and went the other way....lol.

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If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 11:06:08 AM

LaTigresse

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Mike, I've tried to do exactly the same thing.

As an aside....my father is an alcoholic, my ex-husband was an alcoholic, and my mother is just...seriously fucked up.

I did have a HUGE issue with my exhusband taking my kids to the bars because he could not stand not drinking for even a few hours. There are many reasons he is an ex......many.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 11:30:04 AM

slvemike4u

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Alcoholism is a wonderful thing....has impacted far more lives than drug addiction,IMO.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

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Post #: 63

RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 11:45:53 AM

pahunkboy

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

There is a little town down the road that has one bar. Quite often, they have pot lucks. In the 10 years I've lived here I've probably been to that bar a handful of times. I just don't like bars. But I have stopped in at the urging of other family members that frequent the bar, during the pot luck dinner nights. Each time there are loads of kids there. Initially I thought it was because it was just because of the meal. I learned that the locals taking their kids in, is the norm. That the locals kids run in and out all the time, usually because that is where their parents are.

For me, my personal standards for myself.........it's wrong. For them, it is normal. Most of those people are fairly heavy drinkers. That bar is more community centre and local gathering place, like one big weird hillbilly incestuous family, than what a lot of people think of a bar to be.

I don't like it, I don't believe in it, I wouldn't do it. But the reality is that that kind of thing goes on alllllllllll over small town/rural America. I tend to believe that fewer kids are damaged by it than are. And I would venture to say that there are many more choices the parents make, actions taken, that are far more harmful.

So there is no church there? We do pot lucks are a church- most of them do here.

I am not a big fan of bars.   The neighborhoods in this town that have bars have more crime. It is what it is.

To Julia,   the beer was served on a sidewalk cafe setting- so it is possible for a stroller to be out of the serving area- while the father is in the area.   I am not real clear on PA law for this.   I seen bars in here and IL- hush hush over kids in...a wink and a nod- not that the kid was drinking--- that was not the case. When the times I was at any bar- they all allowed smoking.

PA smoking law is fuzzy.    Some how some bars get around it somehow.

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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 11:47:06 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

Alcoholism is a wonderful thing....has impacted far more lives than drug addiction,IMO.

Yes, and I just got affirmation yesterday that one of my siblings feels he is an alcoholic. The part that just is devastating me is that he is one of the most gentle, loving, sensitive wonderful human beings I know. He conveyed to my sister that he wants more than anything to get help but cannot afford treatment, or to take time off work to get treatment.

A few thousands of dollars is standing between him and him trying to help himself and his family.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 12:20:06 PM

slvemike4u

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LaTige that is beyond horrible...and a further indictment of our failed health care system(please save me the flames about personal choices...no one chooses to be an alcoholic,nor a drug addict) My best wishes for him and his as he finds a way to move forward.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 12:42:17 PM

LaTigresse

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Thank you Mike. My brother has not had an easy life.

His childhood was very different than mine. I am the oldest and my parents finally split when I was around the 15-16 time (I cannot remember exactly) When my parents separated my dad just left and we rarely saw him, even though he did not go far. I can remember times when one of my siblings would see his truck down the street at my grandmother's and come running into the house all excited, thinking he would be coming to visit them next, and he never did.

Lack of a father figure, men coming in and out because of my mother, my mother moving them to Colorado away from the rest of us and the life they knew, and per my brother's wife, him being sexually molested at some point....all of that means my brother has a lot of 'stuff' boiling under the surface. A whole combo of things means he's never gotten any help in dealing with anything, except a fabulously wonderful wife that really tries and loves him madly. I believe the alcohol became a coping device at some point, and now it is an addiction.

Since yesterday I've been wracking my brain on how best I can help or if I can. I don't know the options where he lives as far as treatment, what is available, price structure, etc. It is a economically depressed area and always has been, aside from tourism.

Who knows, maybe it is a crisis that will turn into a good thing for many of the family members.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 67

RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 2:44:56 PM

slvemike4u

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You know Tige my siblings and I were saddled with many of the same burdens,including sexual abuse,ours came as a result of my mother deciding to keep the father in the house...rather than have the source of all that violence removed...I try to absolve her(she is still with us thank god...he is long past and not lamented)of any blame...though I know she failed her children terribly.
I credit my father with all of my parenting skills for reason previously mentioned...but the truth is I also parented out of a sense of selfishness.....I was determined that when I laid down for the final time....I would never have any regrets about the scars I imposed on my child.....and of course I am sure I made a mistake here and there...but dammit,my child will never need to seek psychological help as a result of my missteps....and I have the comfort of feeling that he would never mention me as being unlamented.

_____________________________

If we want things to stay as they are,things will have to change...Tancredi from "the Leopard"

Forget Guns-----Ban the pools

Funny stuff....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNwFf991d-4

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RE: drunken stroller operator - 6/19/2011 4:48:16 PM

pahunkboy

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I dont know how to say this...

sit down for this...

but I once was a stroller rider.

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