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RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 6:28:12 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

You never answered my question....


Julia,

At first I thought ooops and then I went back to what I missed question wise as I make a real attempt to answer all posts directed to me. That being said, I could not find one from you. ???

CP

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 6:31:20 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3731414

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 6:33:02 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3731414



you do realize that CelticPrince didn't make that comment?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 6:43:12 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3731414



you do realize that CelticPrince didn't make that comment?



Perhaps my reading comprehension is a little off tonight. I thought he told me he could not find the post where I asked him a question because he missed it. So I went and found the post to save him the trouble of looking, and then I linked to it to save me the trouble of re-asking the same question..

and now I have typed three times longer than it would have has I just re-asked the question again

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 6:47:01 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Perhaps my reading comprehension is a little off tonight. I thought he told me he could not find the post where I asked him a question because he missed it. So I went and found the post to save him the trouble of looking, and then I linked to it to save me the trouble of re-asking the same question..

and now I have typed three times longer than it would have has I just re-asked the question again


Heya Julia, the link you provided was to a question we both asked aromanholiday, and that's the question that wasn't answered. 


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 6:59:05 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Perhaps my reading comprehension is a little off tonight. I thought he told me he could not find the post where I asked him a question because he missed it. So I went and found the post to save him the trouble of looking, and then I linked to it to save me the trouble of re-asking the same question..

and now I have typed three times longer than it would have has I just re-asked the question again


Heya Julia, the link you provided was to a question we both asked aromanholiday, and that's the question that wasn't answered. 





For some reason I thought it was directed at CP... my bad....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 7:14:21 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

For some reason I thought it was directed at CP... my bad....


We still love ya (well, I do, anyway )


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/20/2011 7:20:44 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

For some reason I thought it was directed at CP... my bad....


We still love ya (well, I do, anyway )




I am a bit tired, I have been packing my apartment up (again) most of the day (since about 5 AM)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 12:03:30 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

Waning? It's been 5 years and hasn't yet...in fact he plans on tightening the reins even more here shortly.


littlewonder,
just goes to show some subs are more fortunate than others.

CP

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 12:07:26 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It's no more difficult nor easy than anything else. Just takes two people with the same mindset and understanding. I see a lot of stuff posted where people piss themselves over the thought of TPE and how damn difficult it is or can be, yet at the same time it also is extremely easy. It all boils down to how two people fit together and interact with one another.

Also, what realistic or unrealistic expectations are attached to TPE. Not living life in reality is a set up for failure. Some people have nice little ideas about what makes TPE tick. In some cases these ideas or notions can actually screw up the Power Exchange or whatever nice label you want to call it.


Whiplash,

Damn it is difficult to find fault with that observation. Indeed it just boils down to what the two sides of the slash want from each other. thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 12:17:42 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

For some reason I thought it was directed at CP... my bad....


julia,

And then there was ol CP going back twice trying to find his missed question........... poor girl packing is a bitch!

CP

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 3:34:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

For some reason I thought it was directed at CP... my bad....


julia,

And then there was ol CP going back twice trying to find his missed question........... poor girl packing is a bitch!

CP


My 6 move in less than 3 years... graduate school = moving so much my mail can't catch up with me


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 5:34:34 PM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		In my opinion, TPE works only when both partners want something very similar.  I don't believe anyone will accept TPE if, for example, that means working 100 hours a week at a task that you absolutely hate. Instead, what I think those who request TPE are asking for it someone who has basically the same desires and expectations as they do.  They want to give up control in some areas of their life, but, I bet, they are not really willing to give up control all areas.

I view D/s as a general term that describes all degrees of power exchange.  I think the dynamics of power exchange is based on the personality of both partners.  To enter a relationship with set expectations is, I believe, setting your relationship up for failure.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 5:49:44 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

submissive may have agreed at first but when they realize they can't then they post threads asking 'is it right for him/her to expect XYZ?” It would save so much angst if both parties were honest about how much they expect or can give.


Sometimes you don't know until you try. I didn't realize how much I'd hate being in a financial dynamic beforehand. Additionally, being "girl bait" is now a hard limit, although I'm naturally bi and poly.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 7:41:17 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have never been in a TPE relationship, it doesn't fit me at all.

I like the freedom to decide things often, especially career moves, etc. I need to be in a relationship where certain aspects of my life are mine to control, like my career life and my family life. I do not think I could be with someone that sought to even run my relationships with others, etc.

How I perceive TPE to work is that someone has complete control over another person... and that means even their relationships with their family.

Then again, I hate labels because someone will come behind me and tell me I have it all wrong, and in their mind I do and that is really okay with me. I prefer to build relationships on negotiated interchange... not labels like TPE.

_____________________________


julia,

Flexibility has never been seen to harm a relationship, be it D/s or nilla.

CP

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/21/2011 7:45:53 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have always seen TPE as a euphemistic synonym for master-slave. I prefer the latter term, and it's the only sort of relationship I seek out. It doesn't really "fit" anywhere in my experience: it devours everything within its sight until it is the only relationship there. :)

I think master-slave relationships are dying as a practice, although the term TPE may also be going out of style as well (hard to say, I haven't been paying attention to its use). There were a lot more people interested in complete control relationships in the past; not so much now. [/quot

holiday

I for one never accepted the Master/slave bit as it being just a bit of fantasy. How close it comes to TPE is subject to interpretation by each person due I think to the silent limits that always exist.

CP

(in reply to aromanholiday)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/22/2011 10:18:29 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

TPE is not a term that has ever resonate with me and I have never seen an expressed position that change my perspective. I am more for Total Authority Transfer (TAT). I don't see my girls without power and/or control over their actions and choices. But I do see them without independent authority. The choices they make are decisions that is delegated and guide by me. Nothing in their life is off limits to me but this doesn't equate that I will exercise authority in every aspect. Many things i do exercise my authority and much more I provide guidelines and protocals for them to follow as they make everyday decisions.

I don't know if this TPE concept is dying or not... it's not my thing and not something I pay much attention to.

_____________________________


Knight,

Pardon the pun but it sounds like a tit for TAT sort of thing. On a more serious note, your rational might very well be the reason that TPE is waning........ no one but no one is going to give up "all" their power to another.........in my opinion.

CP

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/22/2011 6:18:38 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I tried TPE and it didnt work out very well, and I dont want to go there with anyone again so now I am just submissive in the bedroom.

I think the TPE is misused and abused by some Dominants and after a sub has been screwed (not in the fun way) then once bitten, twice shy and perhaps they just dont want to get screwed over again. So, if that means TPE is dying, well,... perhaps that is one reason why.


tj,

Indeed some astute observations made there and I am sure it is a major reason for the tailspin.

CP

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/23/2011 1:12:21 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i think that sometimes the term TOTAL Power Exchange is taken far too literally. and that is possibly an internet thing based on some sort of fantasy idea. reality is that TPE can and does exist even when people dont identify with the term so much.

it just takes two people driving in the same direction to achieve it.

reality is that we all have responsibilities outside of the relationships we're in and unless we're talking about micromanagement, reality dictates that we must all go at life with some level of autonomy to get through the day.

the way that i see TPE is that within the relationship im in, within its parameters and between the two of us the guy has the authority to call the shots and has the final say. the moment you start messing with that, especially in Ms you lose the authority base and the thread that holds it together.


lally

Wise words spoken most astutely!
thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: TPE and D/s - 6/23/2011 4:38:30 PM   
aromanholiday


Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I think master-slave relationships are dying as a practice, although the term TPE may also be going out of style as well (hard to say, I haven't been paying attention to its use). There were a lot more people interested in complete control relationships in the past; not so much now.


What do you base this opinion on? and when is this "past"?... five years ago, 20?


Ok, I will be Celtic Prince and answer your question. And I will also date myself. I hope that wasn't what you were after (frown). I couldn't answer before, as I was (and still am) on the deadline from hell.

I base my opinions on, among other things: extensive interaction with groups of people online and off- beginning in 1988, particularly submissives. So...23 years or thereabouts having discussions with both dominants and submissives, but talking more to submissives than to dominants, as they were more comfortable to speak to (they weren't always trying to jump my bones) and we had a lot more in common. "TPE" as a term hadn't been invented then. It came in the early 90s, with the Davis/Jacobs wars on a.s.b. I had extensive pre-Internet discussions (The Well, Compuserve, BBS systems), pre-web discussions (alt.sex.bondage), early-Web discussions (I had one of those very early sites--not earlier than Castle Realm's, however ), extensive and very interesting interaction with others on Yahoo in the mid-web period (when yahoo had "Clubs" not "Groups;" when there was no spam, and everything was wide open), and so forth. I read and engaged in print-magazine discussions, article writing for D&S newsletters, and so on, long before it was common for most people to have PCs (I had the PC but there weren't a lot of people to talk to on it, so I used the print outlets as well). I've seen a lot of bdsm history flow by and occasionally, to my dismay, was even in the thick of it when it was being made. But you know, even when I look at this relative latecomer message board's history, say from 4-5 years ago, I see a very marked difference in the types of submissive personalities that used post and that now post: in their ideas, in their expressed interests, and in their goals. The difference in just that short amount of time (I think of it as a mainstreaming and watering down of ideas about D/s and control) is quite astonishing, but in general I was referring to my full experience with this, which occurred long before Collarme was a twinkle in anybody's eye. I imagine (or maybe I just hope) the trend will bounce back in time. Social trends are hard to predict, however.

_____________________________

"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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