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What Do You Offer... - 6/22/2011 9:28:44 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		After reading the thread about what people don't like to see in CM profiles and my own experiences seeing endless piles of drek like this:

40-something 'sub' guy: 'I'm a worthless male here only for your pleasure, Miz-tress. I need a strictly hetero domme who isn't interested in having me do bi stuff with guys or anything else I don't feel like doing (which I think is reasonable) and who will permanently lock me in her basement to use as her personal fuck toy and nothing else (which I also think is reasonable.) I'm into dressing like a little girl where you put me in a hot bath and play with my private parts, llamas, kiddie pools, large rubber balls, buckets of eels, skimpy outfits, and being dressed in a chef costume (think Southpark!) while you cornhole me with a rolling pin. That would be so awesome! Here is a picture of my penis for you to enjoy.'

25 year old 'dom guy': 'Well hello there, I'm Master RectumWreckerThroatGagger. You can call me RWTG for short! I don't know who you are, but I own your mouth, your cunt, and especially your asshole and will do whatever I damn well please with them because it looks super in porn (and I'm really a nice guy, just read my profile, it says so right there.)'

18 year old 'domme': 'im Godess Narsisists teh wurld owz me evryting kneal be4 Me u wurmz by me shoz from amazon send mony to My paypal acount if u cant follow My simple intrukshinz 2 prove u wurship Me ur not wurthy of a anser' [sic for spelling/punctuation/grammar/syntax]

39-year old 'sub girl': 'I want a Daddy to provide for all my needs (including financial...ummm, call it my 'college fund' to keep it true to the dynamic, 'k?) so I don't have to act like a grown-up, or take responsibility for anything/anyone at all including the kids I had with someone else. Won't it be fun letting you dress my ever-fattening ass in the new clothes you just bought me, Daddy?'

All this got me thinking about about my own profile and what it conveyed. I will soon be making some revisions based on these meditations. So let's go a little deeper and get to the nitty-gritty.

Besides kink, what do you have to offer a potential partner?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 12:23:45 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Intelligence, loyalty, eager willingness to serve and commitment to the relationship.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 4:56:35 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

Besides kink, what do you have to offer a potential partner?


It's wrong that you even have to ASK this question.

I'm a straight Dom man looking for a straight or bi sub woman.  I consider the fit in the bedroom, both physical and mental, to be essentially a given.  So I focus almost entirely on the fit outside.

A decent man, a sense of humor, intelligence, caring.  A house-with-a-picket-fence kind of suburbia existence.  Gentleness with a bit of steel behind it.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 6:26:53 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		What do I have? What a great question. I was just reading this today:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Edit to add::: That's by Marianne Williamson (A Course in Miracles) often MISquoted as Nelson Mandela


I am a light in a dark world.

sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 6/23/2011 6:35:39 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 6:34:08 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm not selling anything. We either are compatible or we aren't. That's it in a nutshell. As far as what matters in terms of compatibility, that changes from person to person.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 6:43:02 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Consistency, kindness,cruelty, wisdom, experience, stability, a smile, a shoulder to cry on, a caring heart, ears that hear, integrity, decency, honor, humor, intelligence, discipline, accountability, me.
How's that for a beginning.....


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 6:58:19 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		A life time of love, laughter, and good companionship free from financial worry.

*laughs* Sadly, I have no real kink to offer.

EDIT: Carol adds, "emotional availability"

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 6/23/2011 7:06:15 AM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 7:25:32 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
Besides kink, what do you have to offer a potential partner?


Why the assumption that everyone is looking for more than just kink?


_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 7:53:55 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Don't be fucking obtuse. Relationships are more than kink.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 7:59:05 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Don't be fucking obtuse. Relationships are more than kink.

Really? Then I'm going to join the ranks of the obtuse. MY relationships are about more than kink. Actually mine aren't about kink at all. But I've read more than enough posts and profiles as well as having seen some real life relationships that very definitely were about the mutual satisfaction of kinks. Granted, they're probably not going to last a lifetime, but at least in the RL one I know, the participants don't expect or want that.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:01:57 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!!!!  This would appear to be an inopportune time for an obtuse sort like me to try and solicit blowjobs, I'm thinkin. 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:11:10 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I spent my entire life on self improvement. I am tired of improving myself with an eye towards a relationship.

I am torn really between making it all about me, or attempting a relationship with another person. At this point I do not know if I have anything to offer. I suppose I am with Celeste on this one.... I'm not selling myself anymore, either we are compatible or we are not. Either someone likes what I offer, or they can exit stage right. I'm okay with that at this point....

And I suppose I got here by giving too much away without getting enough back, I guess I am just depleted. So, onward and upward.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:15:14 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Everything Julia said. I improved myself for me. And he wanted me for me. So what I had to offer was...me.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:17:30 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i am what i am, and that's all that i am.

pass the spinach. :)


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:19:29 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:19:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		You sure you ain't lookin to be Olive Oyled up?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:20:31 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I offer an eclectic woman for a great partnership on all levels.

The trick to to find someone looking for that multfaceted type of relationship and to have them offer the same back to me.

One thing is for sure, I know I am currently single because I will not tolerate anything less.

I am not into casual, so the prospects who are seeking casual far outweigh those men seeking full on relationships.



< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 6/23/2011 8:21:11 AM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:29:19 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Don't be fucking obtuse. Relationships are more than kink.

Really? Then I'm going to join the ranks of the obtuse. MY relationships are about more than kink. Actually mine aren't about kink at all. But I've read more than enough posts and profiles as well as having seen some real life relationships that very definitely were about the mutual satisfaction of kinks. Granted, they're probably not going to last a lifetime, but at least in the RL one I know, the participants don't expect or want that.




Isnt' that what I just said? Relationships are more than kink. You have the quote right there.... *confused* why are you disagreeing with me when we agree?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:36:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Don't be fucking obtuse. Relationships are more than kink.

You're absolutely correct that relationships are more than about just kink.  At the same time, there are a number of people on the forums who aren't here looking for a relationship.  Some of us, Myself included, are on these forums for the discussion of BDSM as it exists in the real world and the authority dynamics that we are already participating in. 

Granted, if a person is here on this site as a means to search for a partner for a relationship, I'd advise that their profile not be solely based on the kinks they enjoy.  It doesn't go over well, especially if you happen to be male.  It's My personal opinion that the site is more relationship, rather than play focused, so those women who are here looking for anything are usually looking for the whole enchilada.  Casual sex or S/m play are just too easy to find and we don't honestly need to search the internet to get it.

My profile is completely kink and BDSM community focused.  If I were male, it probably wouldn't be written quite the way it is now because I'd have to work harder in finding casual play partners.  As it stands, I don't.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What Do You Offer... - 6/23/2011 8:44:58 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
Besides kink, what do you have to offer a potential partner?


Are you saying that the cock shots that I have posted in my profile aren't enough?  You certainly are demanding. 

Besides my BBC, I'm a vapid shell of a man who has little to offer to a potential Domme. 

quote:


40-something 'sub' guy: 'I'm a worthless male here only for your pleasure, Miz-tress. I need a strictly hetero domme who isn't interested in having me do bi stuff with guys or anything else I don't feel like doing (which I think is reasonable) and who will permanently lock me in her basement to use as her personal fuck toy and nothing else (which I also think is reasonable.) I'm into dressing like a little girl where you put me in a hot bath and play with my private parts, llamas, kiddie pools, large rubber balls, buckets of eels, skimpy outfits, and being dressed in a chef costume (think Southpark!) while you cornhole me with a rolling pin. That would be so awesome! Here is a picture of my penis for you to enjoy.'


Why did you post my profile in your OP? 

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 20
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