RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/25/2011 10:27:44 AM)

If it gets to that point, yes. I just had to block someone on my cell phone for the first time because he would not stop trying to convince me.

I said all the kind things prior, too busy, didn't think the chemistry was there for me, etc. and finally said, stop being so dense, I am not into you.

Some people don't listen.



UberBrat -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/25/2011 11:47:31 AM)

OP - I totally relate!!  When I was first talking to potential Doms on here, I found it extremely hard to say "no".  And, i actually at first replied to every single Dom who messaged me, simply because I felt awful ignoring them! 
I think if, when I received a message from a Dom, and I looked at their profile, if it was not appealing to me, I would simply make an excuse of location, or age difference, etc.  Once youve been talking to a Dom for a while longer it's slightly harder, but I just tended to reply to their messages less, and in a more non-committed way, until they got the hint!



erieangel -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/25/2011 2:30:30 PM)

I was doing the same thing...answering all emails. And a lot of them never responded to my responses. If I didn't like the profile or if I didn't think the Dom was going to be worth my time because of distance, age whatever...I mentioned that straight up. There is one whom I've been emailing back and forth nearly everyday, though. We will never be more than friends, though mostly because he is younger than my kids, but that's cool. You never have too many friends.



Buzzzz -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/25/2011 3:28:43 PM)

Just tell it like it is. If he is a normal person, he will understand and if he gets crazy and insults you , it proves you made the right decision ;)



Marc2b -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/25/2011 3:31:33 PM)

Roses are red

Violets are blue

There's a Dom out there for me...

But it just ain't you.



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/26/2011 10:55:57 AM)

quote:

So after talking to someone and realizing that they just aren't going to do it for you, what's the best way to handle that?
I don't know maybe you could try saying "sorry, you just aren't going to do it for me."

I really don't see the need for lots of strategies and tricks, just say it. Of course I don't have much experience in this field, so I may be completely off.



HannahLynHeather -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/26/2011 10:57:18 AM)

either that or just tell them you have the fucking vc clap.



Isambard -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/29/2011 5:39:52 AM)

I can sympathize with both sides in this situation.

Quite frankly, both sexes lie about their feelings to get sex, or to use someone as temporary comfort.

I've had the crap beaten out of me, I've had my heart broken. If I had to choose between having one or the other done to me once a year, I'd go with the former, no question.

I think when it comes to breakups in a relationship of any nature, prevention is the best cure. By this, I mean be super damned conservative.about moving to that level where there will be hurt inflicted if it goes belly-up. Wait until you feel irresistably drawn, then wait some more, just to see. No one reasonable is going to be deeply wounded if, after a few conversations over dinner you say it doesn't seem right. Changing the mind after exchanging bodily fluids, troths, and dreams of a bright future, by contrast, seems like asshattery to me, barring a "finding body parts in the freezer" level revelation. (The one ltr I have ended, I ended *only* because it became certain she was a pathological liar on a grand scale...and I still felt pretty guilty about it.)    



GypsyCowgirl1 -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/29/2011 6:07:45 AM)

I agree with everyone's advice above, but I want to add something.

Sometimes, no matter how nicely or firmly or reasonably you reject someone, they may go crazy on you anyway and it makes you feel bad for a while till you realize they are crazy and it wasn't your fault.

Just last week, I said "thanks but no thanks" to one local Dom who was apparently married and cheating, which I don't get involved in. We had met face to face only one time, and all we did was sit at a picnic table and talked for a couple hours. We hadn't been messaging for more than a few days either. We barely knew one another at all.

A couple days after meeting, I told him as nicely as possible that I was unable to be sexual with him due to the marital situation thing. He went berzerk! Spent days accusing me of tricking him, leading him on, teasing him deliberately, playing head games, and even called me a "fake" as if he hadn't noticed I was real by meeting me in person. He accused me of taking advantage of him, even though he did not spend even a single dollar for coffee on me. He kept talking about my ruining our perfect future together, that I would be sorry, that I would come begging to take him back. He went on and on and on in this manner till I just gave up and blocked him three days later.

In other words he was crazy, and there was no way for me to have rejected him, even in the nicest possible way, without him losing it. Some people just react that way, and the important thing is to not blame yourself or be overly worried about what they accuse you of, because it's totally irrational.



agirl -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/29/2011 10:27:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Willingsub74

Maybe i'm just too nice. But i like everyone else have specific things they look for. For me its not about race, age, or color. It's about control, the mental aspect is the biggest for me. So after talking to someone and realizing that they just aren't going to do it for you, what's the best way to handle that?


Build it in from the word go.

I have always told guys that I don't date, and that it takes me a long time to know if I want to be around someone but a short time to decide that I don't. They are forewarned and it's up to them if they want chat after that.

agirl



subblackboi -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/29/2011 1:10:10 PM)

I guess honesty isn't an option hunh?



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/29/2011 3:51:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Willingsub74

what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you?



Poop in their car... [8D]




MistressDarkArt -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/29/2011 9:40:04 PM)

I'd say, "Thanks for giving this a try; I'm going to have to pass."

You are declining courteously and you don't owe anyone an explanation.



ThundersCry -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/30/2011 11:58:47 AM)

The ALL tell me in two words...
FO!
The wench`s..



RapierFugue -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (6/30/2011 1:12:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Willingsub74

Maybe i'm just too nice. But i like everyone else have specific things they look for. For me its not about race, age, or color. It's about control, the mental aspect is the biggest for me. So after talking to someone and realizing that they just aren't going to do it for you, what's the best way to handle that?


Send them this link ...

http://youtu.be/-0u3NM8rd1U



chiaThePet -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (7/5/2011 8:11:40 AM)


Ohhhhhhh!

So there are other options besides setting them on fire.

Such a plethora of information here.

Thanks!

chia* (the pet)



Canaille -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (7/5/2011 10:58:58 AM)

Maybe I'm just heartless, but I don't couch my answers diplomatically. I'm not rude, but once I say it's not gonna happen, my mind is made up. I'm not looking to be coerced, convinced, or seduced into servitude. So I just tell them I'm not interested in serving them and move on with my life. Goodbye and ignore rude responses, stay friends with those that I'd like to have a friendship with.
Saying no isn't a martial art. You don't have to learn any special techniques.



IrishMist -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (7/5/2011 1:53:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Willingsub74

Maybe i'm just too nice. But i like everyone else have specific things they look for. For me its not about race, age, or color. It's about control, the mental aspect is the biggest for me. So after talking to someone and realizing that they just aren't going to do it for you, what's the best way to handle that?

Umm, how about

"It's not going to work. Bye"

Not too difficult at all, really.



orchid77 -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (7/5/2011 3:14:14 PM)

"I" language is fine just make sure you say, "I feel...." Then it is about you and not them. Also being honest and considerate always works too.



SailingBum -> RE: what's the best way to let a Dom know you don't think they are for you? (7/5/2011 6:00:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Willingsub74

Maybe i'm just too nice. But i like everyone else have specific things they look for. For me its not about race, age, or color. It's about control, the mental aspect is the biggest for me. So after talking to someone and realizing that they just aren't going to do it for you, what's the best way to handle that?


Dont call them??? I don't owe any explanation to someone ive gone out with a couple 3 times.

BadOne



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