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Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 1:34:44 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline 		I personally don't see myself in one because I feel well more like I worry that I am to controlling for me to last long with a v girl.
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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 1:36:21 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		yes i can.

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 2:34:45 PM   
rawtape


Posts: 105
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I've been in several.

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 3:18:09 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say my relationship is pretty vanilla, we pretty much care for each other (can you tell how much that L word scares me...) and we have kinky sex when the mood strikes us, he knows that I'm a "sadistic bitch" (his words not mine) and sometimes he likes that, but it doesn't mean that I have to hurt him all the time when we get intimate, sometimes we actually cuddle...

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 4:36:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		yes

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 4:38:41 PM   
gothikbutterfly


Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
Status: offline 		Sometimes I miss the vanilla companionship. I actually wish I WAS in a vanilla relationship, or any relationship for that matter lol

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 5:02:53 PM   
SinFix


Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Was married vanilla for a while... glad that is over...

awwww gothik buck up girl... your too cute and seem really cool, you'll find someone

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 5:12:01 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Yes, I have been. My first was vanilla but also cuckold (I didnt know anything about bdsm then), my ex was all vanilla, then I was a slave to a Dom, now I just want a horny mostly vanilla guy that will fuck me silly all the time....

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 6:08:44 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		No

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 6:28:40 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i dunno, really. in my relationship prior to my first kinky relationship, i felt really unfulfilled, in part because there were things i wanted to express but i was with a person who had been very vocal about his disdain for several of those things. =p

i'd like to find someone who "gets me" on a certain level, and i'm not sure a vanilla person would. though, really, i don't think of it as "vanilla vs. kink;" i don't see cuddling as a "vanilla" thing. i wouldn't be compatible with a Master who saw cuddling or doing other "vanilla stuff" as something he couldn't do. to me, it's about being a whole person, being well-rounded. the undercurrent or the framework of the relationship is built up on X, even though X may not be literally expressed in every single instance in every single day.


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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 6:38:34 PM   
SabreToothFemme


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/25/2011
From: Berlin, Germany
Status: offline 		No, i can not see myself in a vanila relationship. Mainly because i never really was in a vanilla relationship. Power was a topic for me from the start and i started quite early.




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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 6:43:37 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		Nope. I'd walk all over a vanilla man, and that isn't what I want.

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 6:58:20 PM   
erieangel


Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i dunno, really. in my relationship prior to my first kinky relationship, i felt really unfulfilled, in part because there were things i wanted to express but i was with a person who had been very vocal about his disdain for several of those things. =p

i'd like to find someone who "gets me" on a certain level, and i'm not sure a vanilla person would. though, really, i don't think of it as "vanilla vs. kink;" i don't see cuddling as a "vanilla" thing. i wouldn't be compatible with a Master who saw cuddling or doing other "vanilla stuff" as something he couldn't do. to me, it's about being a whole person, being well-rounded. the undercurrent or the framework of the relationship is built up on X, even though X may not be literally expressed in every single instance in every single day.



This though i tend to chose very domineering men when i look to vanilla.

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 7:15:47 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		We don't need protocols an all that other stuff, but we damned well better have kink, if he wants me to be happy and fulfilled in our relationship.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 6/26/2011 7:16:42 PM >

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 7:19:05 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		If by "vanilla" you mean there's no kinky sex and no power/authority exchange between the partners, then, yes, since I'm in one now.  However, if you mean there's no kink whatsoever in our lives - no toys, books, discussions, demos, etc. - then no.  Been there, tried that, never again.  My husband and I are both kinky people...just not with each other. 

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 7:26:52 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  Yes.  If you can't live without your kink, you're a slave to it.  I find it - at the very least - counter-intuitive for an alleged dominant to be a slave to their kink.


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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 7:37:24 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I think I could with no problem. To me the relationship is the thing. As long as I am with Hanners, I don't care what flavour the relationship takes. Its her and I together that I crave. Don't get me wrong, the D/s is mind blowingly erotic, but its loving her and being loved back that makes my world go round.

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 8:26:10 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

This though i tend to chose very domineering men when i look to vanilla.



same here; i just find that attractive in general.
that last relationship was odd because i did care about him a lot but it became very clear very fast that we weren't really being true to ourselves. finding someone with whom you can be true to yourself, that's very important to me.

i think these kinds of topics should come with a "what is your definition of kink" addendum, because it means so many different things for people.


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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 8:27:25 PM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline
quote:

Don't get me wrong, the D/s is mind blowingly erotic, but its loving her and being loved back that makes my world go round.


This! I feel similar with my partner.

But, honestly, I think it all comes down to compatibility. Would I ever stay in a relationship with someone I wasn't compatible with and didn't love? Absolutely not. And since I am most compatible with dominant men and I express my love through service, the result is that I don't tend to work well in a "vanilla" relationship. Would I ever stay in a relationship with a man who didn't love me enough to try and fulfill me sexually, and I him? No, absolutely not. The result is that I only stay in a relationship with sexually open partners, who won't mind tying me up. So do I see myself in a "vanilla" relationship? I guess not. But it isn't kink vs. vanilla. Its incompatible vs. compatible. There are some variants on the D/s dynamic that I'd be unhappy with, just as unhappy with as I would be in your typical "vanilla" relationship.

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RE: Can you see yourself in a vanilla relationship? - 6/26/2011 8:27:30 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yes

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