RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave?

RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 9:32:32 AM)
The Man doesn't attach value to the term used, nor to the performance. For us, it's the emotional investment. He's fine with me not doing something right away if he didn't tell me it was of utmost importance. But he isn't fine with me being checked out emotionally. He wants me focused on him. As long as the emotions are strong, that's what matters. I call myself an owned sub. I don't give consent every time he tells me to get him more tea. I also don't automatically refill it. And I've been known to say that either he can do it himself now or he can wait till I finish what I'm doing, which can't wait. And as we've been together 9 years now, I have to figure we're doing something right. Which is all that matters to us.

sexisubi -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 9:40:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them. Nope. I'm a submissive. I've chosen to submit til death do us part. I love blanket statements. I think you've misread the above statement. it means with every order given you can choose to except or decline, depending on how submissive your feeling you may do more excepting then declining... but either way every time something is said -you- can choose to do it or not. and sure you chose to submit yes you want to do the things asked but you can choose not to and that makes a submissive. a submissive has slave tendencies, but is not, i repeat is not a slave. a slave is someone who takes the choice out of their hands. when asking for a definition of a word, you are getting blanket statements because each sub, slave or pet is different. like if you read it out of an encyclopedia. i cant tell you what tiger has a sweeter temperament from reading it, but i can at least tell you the basic differences.

sexisubi -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 9:55:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them. except when they dont... slave: a person who makes a one time choice to submit, up-front, and there for it is pretty much expected for them to obey. Except when its not heres some articals that youll find interesting and will help you make your choice. http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/629613/different_types_of_submission_in_bdsm.html this one also has a definition of pet. http://kimdebron.tripod.com/id33.html this just supports the first link. http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/01/the-differences-between-bottom-masochist-submissive-and-slave/ there is a difference between a slave and a submissive, i would never consider myself a slave because i cant do everything someone wants me to do at all times of the day. but i will certainly push my bounds and try... but a slave will do much more then i will as a submissive. Except when thats not expected in my words the difference is that a slave submits all the time and lets go of her safe word while i, as a sub, will hold onto my safe word. Except when they do...a slave can be objectifide much more then i can,except when they cant.... (said with respect ladies) to say that there is no difference is... then why is there two types of us? its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.except when they dont... um and that.. with no explanation makes no sense please define what you mean by (unless they do or dont) so i can give an explanation. sure everythings on a basis but the core elements remain the same... so... i just need to know what you mean lol... I mean exactly what I said. Your making a LOT of blanket statements, and Im correcting those blanket statements. The first, is except when they dont, my submission isnt contingent on the orders given, I give it because i trust the person I give it too, and i dont make a choice each and every time im ordered i make one choice. The second not every slave is expected to obey or even does, i know several slaves who would throw your theorys for a loop. The Third not every slave is expected to take on the world, when i was a slave i had a lot less responsibility wise then i ever have as a submissive. Most slaves I know have a safeword, its not magically taken away because oh my gosh they are slaves... And magically their limitations dont change, Im not one to be objectified no matter WHAT my label is. and finally it takes a lot of work to be in a relationship regardless of wither your D/s M/s Vanilla T/b.... To say that M/s puts in more then anyone else is foolish and in general laughable. The bottom line is There is no set this is a slave, this is a sub, this is a bottom. Why? because the perfect slave to Dom one is Dom twos bottom... and the perfect slave to dom two is fake to both dom one and three... well, they asked for a definition, i gave the best one i could. to be honest i consider myself a submissive because every time i am given an order from my Master i choose to submit or not according to that order. will i get punished maybe will i care not if i didnt want to do it that badly. can i refuse the punishment as a submissive, yes, i choose how much i submit. if i were a slave i wouldnt choose but if i couldnt do it physically i obviously couldn't. if it were a limit, the slave probably wouldnt unless they wanted to expand their bounds (looking at another scenario.) sure there are different scenarios that i don't have the answer for unless presented and i could come up with my own humble opinion. but one thing we can all agree on is slave is more submissive then a submissive... so why? i have given the example through an order from a Dom. and also just because, someone says im a slave doesnt mean they are one so i could flip it that way too. you mentioned trust, looking at a huge picture now! yes trust is important, a slave probably wouldn't submit without trust first, and i would probably suggest that to anyone lol. but again this is looking at a huge huge picture and i explained every situation is different. if a person completely trusts another their submission will go up. im sure its the same way with a slave. but the key elements remain the same, which is what i explained before. if someone wants to say no you're wrong and i can give them an example of why those statement will be true... but again, each and every scenario is different! duh! and as i explained to OsideGirl, if i were to look up tigers in the encyclopedia i couldn't tell you who was sweeter but i can find the basics, and what that definition is, is the basics. it's more a building stone for the poster. after a certain time you make your own perception of slave submissive or pet. as you have through examples and stories of your past, but in my humble opinion this is a standard definition for a slave and a submissive through only order. i also linked several articals for the poster to make their own decision.

littleone35 -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 10:02:14 AM)
I really don't agree with you there sexisubi. I submit to Master 24/7 it not a choice i make every time he give me an order it is just the way it is. I am not a slave i am his submissive. We both condiser me owned though. To answer the OP i am a submissive 100% of the time not just in the bedroom. There are some however bedroom subs who are nly submissive in the bedroom. Matt's littleone

honybunz -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 11:29:45 AM)
blah

sexisubi -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 11:31:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleone35 I really don't agree with you there sexisubi. I submit to Master 24/7 it not a choice i make every time he give me an order it is just the way it is. I am not a slave i am his submissive. We both condiser me owned though. To answer the OP i am a submissive 100% of the time not just in the bedroom. There are some however bedroom subs who are nly submissive in the bedroom. Matt's littleone if i may ask littleone, why do you consider yourself a submissive and not a slave?

sexisubi -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 12:10:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi the fact that im reading people say they are the same depending on the master is such an asinine perception. Really? OK, let's take two other words.... *Fizgabba* and *Wadunka* Now, would you say that you are more of a fizgabba or a wadunka. Based upon your photo, I'd have to go with wadunka myself but you seem to have elements of fizgabberry in your postings. Maybe your switch? sexisubi about being a switch Domme or sub: your assumption is incorrect. lets just say, i am going through a very complicated time... my submissive side is being subdued because i gave my all to a Master who is now no longer my Master... its been 8 months im ready to move on but im not ready to submit but im willing to start getting to know everyone, everywhere, but i have only Dommed once for like 2 months! so i am by no means an experienced Domme, i have been a submissive 3 times for 4 in a half years... i fit more into a submissive category. and none of my Masters were displeased with my proformance as a sub but as we all know there is more to a relationship then bdsm, and none of them worked out. besides the high is much better as a sub but i don't think i'm going to be in love for awhile and as my sign says, bound by love. that's my public statement on the matter. quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master. Look, I at least used to think of Carol as my slave. Trust me on this. I don't need or want you or anyone else protecting the sanctity of her slavery. I myself very definitely do NOT see it that way. You are attaching value to the role and I do not. I attach value to the performance in the role... whatever role. Being excellent at anything is hard. Being mediocre at it is easy. If you want to respect her efforts then do so... but that has nothing to do with her role. The role itself has zero value outside of context. Until you know what the other person in the relationship needs/wants, then who can say whether vanilla or sub or slave or something else is going to be "the best"? i never said a slave is better then a submissive... but i will admit when i think of a slave i think of them doing a lot more then i would do, if i want to do something for my master and anticipate his needs cause i love him i will do so. when i said i respect them for what they do. i will only spit out a genaric example i wouldnt take this to your own take the example for what it is. a slave and submissive anticipates a masters needs, and each relationship is different because every individual is different and fits together differently. the Master needs dinner to be made, the slave is tired she doesnt want to cook dinner she might even get feisty and talk sassy while making it or say can i please not but most likely shes making that dinner if he pushes, and the last thing she will want to do is say no. it doesnt mean she cant say no, it doesnt mean she cant decline, it's the matter of not wanting to say the word no, she would rather put her life in another hand and say catch me, build me, command me. this is my opinion not directed at your house/slave/sub whatever. i would say as a submissive... look im tired, i love you but no. i will kneel at his feet i will get him something to drink but im way too tired to make dinner. and i hate driving but ill pick you up some Mcdonalds or something. i do think a slave does more for their master, when they don't want to, then a submissive would do when they don't want to. i don't know your house your life your slave/sub/wife whoever. and i will not make a judgment or a assumption about you but i will make a generalized statement based on my own experiences. in my experience a slave does more and wants to do more then a submissive. but again that is not directed at you or yours in fact you can take comfort in the fact that i can renounce respect for her cause i dont know her she doesnt know me it doesnt matter to either of us but i will not renounce my general respect for people i would consider slaves. or anyone else for that matter! but my opinion.. however i do not like when i read a sub is the same as a slave and yes i do respect slaves, but if the question is will i meet a slave i don't respect.. sure i will! haven't yet, but I'm sure i will! will that person be a sub to me and a slave to themselves maybe so, but that just means i in my mind will put them in a different category as they keep themselves in their own category. BDSM is very much an open interpretation, because we all create our own perfect ideas of this lifestyle... just because one person doesn't live like another doesnt mean they are wrong or not perfect at being a slave, sub, pet, switch, Dom, Domme, poly... what have you. if just means they are different, as long as they are happy who cares? no one that's who. in my opinion, slaves dont want to say no, ever (again they are allowed to they can they are people for petes sake but they don't ever want to cause they place themselves in the hands of another fully completely) subs don't mind saying no for whatever reason. (they also don't want to say no, they submit and want to be good girls and boys; but they can any time any place any where.) and that is mine.

greenman812 -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 12:48:23 PM)
A Dom, Master, etc. Must earn the submissives submission. A slave earns the Master, Mistress, Domme or Doms respect!

myotherself -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 12:51:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: greenman812 A Dom, Master, etc. Must earn the submissives submission. A slave earns the Master, Mistress, Domme or Doms respect! but the submissive doesn't?

poise -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 12:57:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 *Fizgabba* and *Wadunka* Now, would you say that you are more of a fizgabba or a wadunka. Based upon your photo, I'd have to go with wadunka myself but you seem to have elements of fizgabberry in your postings. Maybe your switch? This man is a genius!

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 1:10:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi well, they asked for a definition, i gave the best one i could. to be honest i consider myself a submissive because every time i am given an order from my Master i choose to submit or not according to that order. will i get punished maybe will i care not if i didnt want to do it that badly. can i refuse the punishment as a submissive, yes, i choose how much i submit. if i were a slave i wouldnt choose but if i couldnt do it physically i obviously couldn't. if it were a limit, the slave probably wouldnt unless they wanted to expand their bounds (looking at another scenario.) sure there are different scenarios that i don't have the answer for unless presented and i could come up with my own humble opinion. but one thing we can all agree on is slave is more submissive then a submissive... so why? i have given the example through an order from a Dom. and also just because, someone says im a slave doesnt mean they are one so i could flip it that way too. you mentioned trust, looking at a huge picture now! yes trust is important, a slave probably wouldn't submit without trust first, and i would probably suggest that to anyone lol. but again this is looking at a huge huge picture and i explained every situation is different. if a person completely trusts another their submission will go up. im sure its the same way with a slave. but the key elements remain the same, which is what i explained before. if someone wants to say no you're wrong and i can give them an example of why those statement will be true... but again, each and every scenario is different! duh! and as i explained to OsideGirl, if i were to look up tigers in the encyclopedia i couldn't tell you who was sweeter but i can find the basics, and what that definition is, is the basics. it's more a building stone for the poster. after a certain time you make your own perception of slave submissive or pet. as you have through examples and stories of your past, but in my humble opinion this is a standard definition for a slave and a submissive through only order. i also linked several articals for the poster to make their own decision. This is in reply to all that youve posted recently. but No i cant say i agree at all... As a submissive to my partner i dont want to say no, I dont have the option to just not obey because I dont feel like it. If I wish to keep my place in His life I need to follow the rules no matter what the situation regardless of anything. This is why Slave is the same as Sub... because the relationships are fluid and dynamic and all depend on the people involved. Your described relationship i would say is neither sub nor slave but your his bottom who is at times in service to him. Im a submissive who is always in service to my Partner, Im not a slave only because i strongly dislike the words history. After several years in a relationship it tends to migrate from D/s to M/s. but still even in that context i dont consider myself a slave.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 1:53:50 PM)
You first stated this... quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance This is why Slave is the same as Sub... Then stated this... quote: After several years in a relationship it tends to migrate from D/s to M/s. Thus, if sub and slave are "the same", then it couldn't "migrate" from "D/s" (Dom/sub) to "M/s" (Master/slave) -- because again, according to your first statement, they are supposedly "the same". I do not believe they are "the same" at all... and it would seem you don't think so either, as there'd be nothing to "migrate" to if they were. Could possibly elaborate more on this to better explain what appears to be an inconsistency in your comments?!! Thanks in advance. [:)]

OsideGirl -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 7:25:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: sexisubi submissive: a person who renews the choice to submit every time an order is given to them. Nope. I'm a submissive. I've chosen to submit til death do us part. I love blanket statements. I think you've misread the above statement. it means with every order given you can choose to except or decline, depending on how submissive your feeling you may do more excepting then declining... but either way every time something is said -you- can choose to do it or not. Incorrect, I do not choose to accept or decline based how submissive I'm feeling. I submit everytime regardless of how submissive I'm feeling, unless I have moral or logistical issues with what I'm being requested to do. I am the submissive in this relationship. It means that I have chosen to submit to his will. Period. And FYI, if you only submit when you feel like it, you're not really submitting.

DecadentDesire -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 8:03:17 PM)
This whole discussion is like a bad joke that's been told one hundred billion times (and counting) on the Collarme.com message boards. And apparently, I'm one of the few who doesn't think its funny anymore.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 9:26:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA You first stated this... quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance This is why Slave is the same as Sub... Then stated this... quote: After several years in a relationship it tends to migrate from D/s to M/s. Thus, if sub and slave are "the same", then it couldn't "migrate" from "D/s" (Dom/sub) to "M/s" (Master/slave) -- because again, according to your first statement, they are supposedly "the same". I do not believe they are "the same" at all... and it would seem you don't think so either, as there'd be nothing to "migrate" to if they were. Could possibly elaborate more on this to better explain what appears to be an inconsistency in your comments?!! Thanks in advance. [:)] Meaning My Dom Says Pet we are now M/s... Nothing in the dynamic changes except he would introduce me as his slave instead of his submissive.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 10:42:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA You first stated this... quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance This is why Slave is the same as Sub... Then stated this... quote: After several years in a relationship it tends to migrate from D/s to M/s. Thus, if sub and slave are "the same", then it couldn't "migrate" from "D/s" (Dom/sub) to "M/s" (Master/slave) -- because again, according to your first statement, they are supposedly "the same". I do not believe they are "the same" at all... and it would seem you don't think so either, as there'd be nothing to "migrate" to if they were. Could possibly elaborate more on this to better explain what appears to be an inconsistency in your comments?!! Thanks in advance. [:)] Meaning My Dom Says Pet we are now M/s... Nothing in the dynamic changes except he would introduce me as his slave instead of his submissive. Something must have been the impetus for now introducing you as his "slave" instead of his "submissive" -- maybe you could ask him why he now prefers to introduce you as such?!! I'd be curious to know. [:)]

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 10:49:35 PM)
When im owned and collared again ill be sure to ask those questions. In the past his explination was that I couldnt be his slave from day one, I had to start as his submissive because it took a lot to become His slave. So I started training and learning as his submissive once i was "there" I was his slave.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 11:06:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance When im owned and collared again ill be sure to ask those questions. Oh, sorry... I thought this was a current relationship. quote: In the past his explination was that I couldnt be his slave from day one, I had to start as his submissive because it took a lot to become His slave. So I started training and learning as his submissive once i was "there" I was his slave. Ah... see, that's another thing I personally disagree with -- that subs and slaves are on a sliding-scale of sorts. My experience is the two are as different as apples and oranges. There is no sliding-scale towards "slave"... one either is, or isn't -- and said "scale" is little more than said slave's training by, and comfort with, their Owner.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 11:11:47 PM)
And thats your opinion mine is there isnt much difference other then what the owner calls his ownee.. My only issue is with blank statements that can only be opinions.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/28/2011 11:27:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance And thats your opinion mine is there isnt much difference other then what the owner calls his ownee.. My only issue is with blank statements that can only be opinions. Yes, my opinion... based on experience. I've yet to meet a slave that could ever be confused for a sub. Thanks for your sharing and openness... I very much appreciate it. [:)]

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