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agirl -> RE: What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? (6/29/2011 6:34:51 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: leadership527
quote:
ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
i also don't really think it depends on the words/labels themselves. in my last relationship, he called me his "submissive" because he just didn't like the words Master/slave. but i was his, no question.
This, I think, is probably the ultimate underlying truth here.
Given that nobody can agree on what the words mean in general it's pointless to go chasing dictionary definitions on them. And, frankly, even if there WAS some nice, crisp, and mostly universally agreed to definition, what would that change? Carol is Carol. The fact that some people see her as my sub, some as my wife, some as my slave, and some as my property really changes nothing.
For the friend who's definitions I referenced above, Carol is a sub. I'm not offended by that since I don't think there's any inherent value to either label. In his mind, "Slave = a dominant personality who submits.". That's not Carol so the fact that he doesn't apply that label to her makes total sense. Nor does it change how Carol behaves. It's just some insight into how he views things. More recently, I've come to think of her as "my wife who obeys". But changing the label in my own head from slave to something else still didn't change any practical reality in our marriage -- it was simply a move away from the BDSM rule police.
In terms of what to write in a profile or generally how to represent yourself, my advice is go with whatever label strikes your fancy but be sure to back it up with a descriptive paragraph or two. I cannot even begin to say how many times I read a profile of someone who is self-identified "slave" and I still find myself asking, "Yeah, but what do you mean by that?" It is the descriptive paragraph(s) that matter, not the label.
Well, yes.
Whenever anyone says *slave/submissive/owned*.......my first thoughts are always the same as yours. "Yeah, but what do you mean by that?".
I know that when some people read that I'm owned, they imagine that I'm submissive, for a start......in fact not only THAT, but that I'm *especially* so...which is far from the case.
As Jeff so rightly said...I am a slave and an owned person. M considers me so because by hook or by crook, I will do as he says with no resentment. He has the responsibility of ensuring that he crosses all the t's and dot's all the i's to make that so. It doesn't occur *just because*. He has to do all the right things to make sure that I CAN be *owned* by him. It's got nothing to do with *feelings*.
ORIGINAL: sexisubi
its a misused term, and its too bad that its misused so often people dont seem to respect how much these people put into a relationship for their Master.
Seriously, people put effort into their relationships for themselves, ultimately. I might have agreed to a relationship where I have to do what M says......but I'm not doing it for HIM. There's nothing about my relationship that bazzilions of people don't do......I'm here because *I* want to be here. I suck up a great deal sometimes........so do loads of people.......even M. We do it because WE like what we have. We want to preserve it, we want it to continue........but neither of us are doing it FOR the other.
In his mind, "Slave = a dominant personality who submits.".
Yes, and in many other views, a submissive is a doormat and so on and so forth. I'm not submissive but I'm not dominant either..........I'm just an ordinary person with no *special M/s traits*. From the view in my herb-garden.......... it's just a choice, you don't need anything bar a willingness to live this way and a reason to do so. No special slaviness, no special subbiness.
agirl
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