RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (Full Version)

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Kirata -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 5:03:33 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DavidLee44UK

by continuing this thread thats giving him food

We're trying to give Tammy some breathing room. [:D]

K.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 5:09:57 PM)

Good on you K. Do you think Arty will do so?

Tammy needs all the help she can get, I for one do not believe that buying into her passive aggressive bull shit will help.

She needs out, and out is a hard concept for someone who has zero self esteem and gets all of their good feelings from the crumbs Arty tosses her.

Get angry Tammy....get real angry. YOU deserve better. A real life, where who you are matters.

It's going to take every damn thing you got girl......but you can do it. Pick your shit up and walk the fuck away. It will feel good.



DavidLee44UK -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 5:34:05 PM)

Chatte

I don't disagree

but when my mom divorced my dad she knew little about diy balancing a cheque book etc

and yes she wanted breathing space but she also wanted to be left f""" alone

if we constantly rely on other people all the time when it comes to standing on our own we cant do it

because as in the words of a street car named desire I always rely on the kindness of strangers



imperatrixx -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 5:49:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Since opening my house up to others cannot be selfish then the most you can accuse me of is egotism, vanity, conceit and all of those have a welcome place in any dominant personality. So, basically you are calling me a Dom.


If you consider moving in with your girlfriend of three years to be "opening your house up to others" as if its some sort of fucking charity...I am so glad that poor girl is leaving.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 6:02:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imperatrixx


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Since opening my house up to others cannot be selfish then the most you can accuse me of is egotism, vanity, conceit and all of those have a welcome place in any dominant personality. So, basically you are calling me a Dom.
If you consider moving in with your girlfriend of three years to be "opening your house up to others" as if its some sort of fucking charity...I am so glad that poor girl is leaving.



Oh he does honey, after three years, Tammy says it is "his" house.

He thinks he is being so benevolent to allow a slave into "his" home.

You can look at what Arty boy says and make many interpretations, when you look at what he says about "his" house, it's quite easy to see how he really feels. Tammy could have been perfect, she would NEVER have been allowed to really share his home. Art would have found a flaw and capitalized on it, it's what he's good at. She never stood a chance.

Tammy, I think you are seriously fucked up in many ways, but you deserve better. ANYONE deserves better. This man will continue to undermine you when you are down. Have some self respect and say no to that.









imperatrixx -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 6:29:46 PM)

That is just all sorts of fucked up. Not to mention that he's posting that she loves fisting when it would appear she doesn't...I saw that thread and saw how she posted below him but didn't address his post about how she went gaga over fisting. That's a clear relationship signal IMO...it's where you don't want to contradict the person you love in public but there's no way in hell you're going to agree with or even acknowledge what he just wrote.

The fact that everyone but Arturas thinks he's a dysfunctional narcissist would give a normal person time to reconsider their actions and the way they present themselves...to him it's just more proof that he's right and the rest of the world is wrong.

Tammy, I truly wish you the best of luck in your future and leaving this toxic relationship behind.



Arturas -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:03:54 PM)

I'm not sure where you get these impressions and attitudes. The truth is I did invite them and open my house to them and did not expect anything but an honest relationship, pulling their own weight in cleaning up after themselves, help with the extra expenses but not too much, and respecting the property. That did not happen but even then I was comitted to changing their behaviour and expectations if possible. However, I was forced to ask tam to leave for breaking my trust several times, serious breaks with the last instance bordering on legally endangering me and her by her bringing something I would not approve, on my property. The decision I made to allow her to stay till the 15th is mainly so she and the kids do not have to sleep in the car and I am trying to not simply cut her off as one might in this instance. Besides, love knows no boundaries.

Say what you will, but I've not been anything dishonorable and am ashamed of nothing I've done or said.

So, fuck off group dysfunctional narcissists .



Arpig -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:12:22 PM)

Hey, I believe you Art, millions wouldn't, but I do.



Arturas -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:22:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Hey, I believe you Art, millions wouldn't, but I do.



Believe what you will. Only truth matters to me as it should you.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:30:59 PM)

I believe that familiarity breeds contempt; and it is easier to kick your troubles to the curb like garbage, than it is to embrace those who gaze up at you with eyes that reflect contempt.  I believe a lot of things, one of which is that there aren't any with unsoiled honor in this saga. 

I believe that anyone who can sever a live-in relationship with not only their partner, but her children, and speak of being confident and comfortable in their choices - is either lying or bereft of the emotional depth that honor and loyalty usually inhabit.



Arpig -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:32:53 PM)

quote:

Only truth matters to me as it should you.
All I can say to that is.....THIS!



AlwaysLisa -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:38:33 PM)

quote:

I'm not sure where you get these impressions and attitudes.


Where else, but from your own hands?   You and Tammy have given, of free will, more info then needed to paint a pretty grim picture.   There are alot of holes however, things that don't add up or make sense to anyone with average intelligence. 

Like this:

quote:

However, I was forced to ask tam to leave for breaking my trust several times, serious breaks with the last instance bordering on legally endangering me and her by her bringing something I would not approve, on my property.


Why is this coming up now, 53 pages into the thread?    A little honesty goes a long way, just saying.



imperatrixx -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 9:40:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

I'm not sure where you get these impressions and attitudes. The truth is I did invite them and open my house to them and did not expect anything but an honest relationship, pulling their own weight in cleaning up after themselves, help with the extra expenses but not too much, and respecting the property.


You simply don't understand my point.

When you're saying you "opened your house to them" it's so telling. See, people who want to build a relationship with someone they love don't see it as "opening their house" to someone, they see it as "moving in together" or something like that. The fact that you see it as opening your house is so telling that you never really saw yourself as building a future with her, you just had yourself and your house and there was someone you were sleeping with who was living there with you.

The fact that you don't even understand that there's a distinction demonstrates it further.

And as far as this:

quote:

However, I was forced to ask tam to leave for breaking my trust several times, serious breaks with the last instance bordering on legally endangering me and her by her bringing something I would not approve, on my property.


Seems totally different from this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: tammystarm
This is it. I have had it! All i wanted was someone who mutually love and respected me as a partner and to raise my family. Ive tried so freakin hard. But the game is up, and i cannot keep going on, and i dont care if there is a dish in the sink. Your right and i thank you from the bottom of my heart. Im done, ill live under a freaking bridge if i have to.... if there is no other alternative. I will no longer listen to the threats and screams and moans and cries of all the above because i am not perfect and i cant be. Thank you so so so so much! MY love to ya!!!


See, when this girl writes a thread about how stressed she is at home, and gets 30 pages of advice telling her to leave, and she finally says she's fed up with it and she's going to leave...having her ex (who not only admits to being vain, conceited, and egotistical, but thinks that those qualities make him a better dominant) come in on page 50 something to say "no actually I made her leave" isn't that believable.

Why would a vain, conceited egotist admit he was the one who was dumped?

quote:

Say what you will, but I've not been anything dishonorable and am ashamed of nothing I've done or said.


I'm not sure what you mean by 'dishonorable' but you've definitely been a twat. You can live by your own personal code of honor and still be a dysfunctional mess of a human being by the rest of the world's standards.

I mean come on, your idea of honor includes things like "Besides, you write as if being a narcissist is somehow negative when that is not simply not true" and "the most you can accuse me of is egotism, vanity, conceit and all of those have a welcome place in any dominant personality."

So um, good on you for not being "dishonorable" but that doesn't contradict what others are saying about you not being a very good person.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 10:05:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

The thing is you made no mention of newbies, all you wrote is and I quote:

quote:

I'm sure there are some slaves over on the Gor board who would love to mistreated and misdirected by you


So my post remains correct given the info in your post.





Your post would only be "correct" if you knew anything about me and what I know or don't know about the Goreans. Since you obviously don't, you must be basing your comment on the fact that I don't post there. That doesn't mean I am ignorant of their "ways," it means I choose not to even be bothered with what they have to say.

Presuming to know someone well enough as you are, makes you foolish. Giving Tammy the benefit of the doubt is being eternally optimistic, which IS an admirable trait, but also makes one often disappointed, because it makes you unable to see the forest for the trees.

Quite frankly, I find it difficult to believe that anyone on any part of these boards would ever entertain the notion of a relationship, not only with Arturas, who is deluded in too many ways to count, but also not with Tammy, since she is not simply delusional, but dishonest and would be emotionally draining on anyone who knew her for very long.



DarkSteven -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 10:50:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

Knowing you as well as the kids very well I do know the issue boils down to the children living up to your expectations because for the longest time you allowed them to act this way and in fact, for a winter several years ago, they actually ran your home while you were very, very sick and it was not pretty. So, now when you challenge them to act differently than the norm they naturally resist and they test your resolve while expecting little punishment or consistency. Unfortunately they were correct because before changing them you had to change yourself, your expectations in yourself, how you discipline them and how well you communicate and enforce your expectation of them.

Arturas



You're RIGHT, Arturas.  What she needs is a Master to come into her home because he would take charge of the situation and not just sit around and watch all hell break loose without doing something.

Oh, wait.....



Now here's a guy who is forever trying to be a narcissist. By God he's going to tell me what to do to fix it and he thinks all it takes is to be a Master (like him, presumably) and take charge, by God.


I did not say that ALL it took to be a Master was to take control.   But I fail to see how anyone could consider himself a Master who did NOT take control of an untenable situation

Arturas, I've seen a lot of posts in which you self-described as a truly great Master.  I'm not seeing anything in your conduct as described in this thread to back it up.  And the fact that you consider taking charge to somehow be wrong, completely confuses me.

Figure out why the current situation is bad.  Then figure out what you want it to be, and how to get there. 



Kirata -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 11:11:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Good on you K. Do you think Arty will do so?

Who knows? This is obviously one of those situations where change is necessary. But even viewing their relationship as dysfunctional, and watching that dysfunctional relationship destroy itself, there remains the possibiliy of something better coming out of it.

More than one couple has had to reach the point of breaking up in order to realize things had to change or they couldn't stay together. The unknown factor here (possibly even to them) is how committed they really are to each other, underneath all the sturm und drang.

The way I see it, as long as change is happening it's a good thing. No matter what that change turns out to be. To stay together, both will have to change. And maybe not for the last time. But, any change in a situation like this one is a step in the right direction.

K.



angelikaJ -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/15/2011 11:17:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

I'm not sure where you get these impressions and attitudes. The truth is I did invite them and open my house to them and did not expect anything but an honest relationship, pulling their own weight in cleaning up after themselves, help with the extra expenses but not too much, and respecting the property. That did not happen but even then I was comitted to changing their behaviour and expectations if possible. However, I was forced to ask tam to leave for breaking my trust several times, serious breaks with the last instance bordering on legally endangering me and her by her bringing something I would not approve, on my property. The decision I made to allow her to stay till the 15th is mainly so she and the kids do not have to sleep in the car and I am trying to not simply cut her off as one might in this instance. Besides, love knows no boundaries.

Say what you will, but I've not been anything dishonorable and am ashamed of nothing I've done or said.

So, fuck off group dysfunctional narcissists .

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


But I do need to get back to the real world. In that world, tam is staying at least through the 15th of next month and we are talking and working on the discipline situation, our expectations and working out where four cats need to live for the present and the answer to that will be outside and not in the corner bedroom.

So, which is it?
You asked her to leave or you are trying to work things out?
Tammy is bravely trying to deal with her fibromyalgia, take care of your house, her kids and go to school, or she has failed your expectations?
She loves being fisted or... ?

Arturas,
Nothing you say has any credibility any more.
(As for the breach of your trust that you allude to, had you ensured she was getting the proper medical care for her condition, that likely would not have happened, if in fact that was the issue as that is the problem when one lacks credibility.)

It is not honorable to shift all the blame onto everyone else: Tammy, the kids, the cats... . The truth is things spiraled out of control under your watch and your lack of attention to the right priorities is what caused this whole castle of yours to implode.

Thank you for being a reminder of why I can not and will not take what I have with my Master for granted.




LadyConstanze -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/16/2011 3:52:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


Believe what you will. Only truth matters to me as it should you.


Is that a fistful of truth? Btw did you quiver a bit when the truth came out?



Phoenixpower -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/16/2011 4:37:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
did not expect anything but an honest relationship, pulling their own weight in cleaning up after themselves, help with the extra expenses but not too much, and respecting the property. That did not happen but even then I was comitted to changing their behaviour and expectations if possible. However, I was forced to ask tam to leave for breaking my trust several times, serious breaks with the last instance bordering on legally endangering me and her by her bringing something I would not approve, on my property.


Yanno...there is a difference between "expecting" the oh so perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfect kajira you always claimed to have achieved binnen 4 days and actually putting in the proper effort into a relationship that it is able to stand on a stable foundation in the long run...

So you were "expecting" an honest relationship, pulling the own weight in cleaning up....and whatever else...
you claim you would have been committed to change their behaviour and expectations if possible....whereas at the same time it is claimed that you couldn't care less about disciplining t's kids and most likely just as little your oh so perrrrrrrrrrfect kajira either...

Quite frankly I see it, as mentioned before already, just as an example of a huge imaturity level of communication....

Neither T nor any other woman is a mind reader...you oviously didnt make sure to  lay down the law in your house....then quite frankly, it shouldn't come as a surprise if your place is taken over in a way which you don't like, cause if a master can't master his slave, thats quite frankly IMO often, what he gets...its not rocket science.

Thats simply the huge difference between a Master and some kink guy with his huge porn phantasy in his head about his oh so perfect kajira [8|]



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Fibro, school, house of 6 (7/16/2011 5:31:21 AM)

quote:

Neither T nor any other woman is a mind reader...


BINGO!...except I would change it to noone - man or woman - is a mindreader. Expecting someone to just know what you're thinking and/or expect is never a good idea. Which is why good honest communication is so important in a relationship.

ETA: equally important is realizing when that isn't going to happen and moving on.

Zeph



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