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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 5:09:11 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


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quote:

Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life?


No, I consider that immature not to mention non consensual.

OP: YOU are a dickhead. Being a dickhead has nothing to do with dominance and everything to do with bullying. People don't like dickheads, and they will never respect them

JMO






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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 5:25:49 AM   
sunshinemiss


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It's all over music and movies....

Toby Keith - Who's Your Daddy?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVRzk3VWOKY   
Madonna - Hanky Spanky   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE6P-2L3Oso&feature=related
DePeche Mode - Master and Servant  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxaIGvI6Y8Q
Justin Timberlake Sexy Back






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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 5:37:27 AM   
Arieno


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life?


No, I consider that immature not to mention non consensual.

OP: YOU are a dickhead. Being a dickhead has nothing to do with dominance and everything to do with bullying. People don't like dickheads, and they will never respect them

JMO

I too believe the conduct expressed by the poster unacceptable, deserving censure and a revealing of his content.





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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 5:41:52 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Whoa . . .

I thought this thread was about light-hearted, flirty kinds of D/s behaviour with people who one has assumed to be vanilla.


So did I.

Right up to the point someone struck a colleague.

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 5:54:03 AM   
LillyBoPeep


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i can see it being lighthearted and funny (excluding the actual whacking; that's idiotic, and i don't imagine you did that where anyone could see you, OP) -- people do joke about kink stuff all the time. =p a group of friends and i went to a restaurant and our waitress was undeniably kinky (she didn't know we were) and was joking with us about it. the others in the kitchen were making whip-cracking jokes.
so i don't really have a problem with that.

my problem is with "haha i whacked him on the head, wow i can't believe he let me do that."
that's asinine. you don't have any right to hit anyone, just because you think you're he Dom Boss of the Universe.


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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 6:23:43 AM   
DesFIP


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You're 44. That's a little old for fraternity hazing. Isn't it time for you to grow up? And be a mentor to others, instead of the asshole they need to avoid?

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 6:39:09 AM   
leadership527


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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
Do you mean specifically mess with them in a D/s innuendo kind of way?

*chuckles* You've been kinky too long poise. Had someone said that to me 5 years ago I'd have thought they were making a play on boss = king.

And yes, I do "mess" with people and I could easily see myself doing exactly the joke you did if I assessed he wasn't the type to freak out over some humor at work.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 6:52:45 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i can see it being lighthearted and funny (excluding the actual whacking; that's idiotic, and i don't imagine you did that where anyone could see you, OP) -- people do joke about kink stuff all the time. =p a group of friends and i went to a restaurant and our waitress was undeniably kinky (she didn't know we were) and was joking with us about it. the others in the kitchen were making whip-cracking jokes.

so i don't really have a problem with that.


Neither do I - as I said, it's all context, and if everyone’s vocally happy about the situation then that's fine by me. I'm totally non-PC, and laughter helps lighten the load. But one has to be careful that what one person thinks is funny another may be upset by. While it's easy to dismiss others as "too formal" or "too much of a tight-arse", it's important to keep in mind that not everyone shares the same SoH. Too often, especially with established teams, it’s seen as being a newcomer’s task to fit in with a team, with no halfway measures from said team which, as an experienced manager, I don’t feel is quite right. Neither, of course, should one newcomer dictate to a team – it’s a question of finding a balance point.

I once worked with a woman who was “on the large side”. Looked damn good on it IMHO, but I discovered later that some of the banter about her weight (which I didn't join in with coz it didn't feel "right" to me ... just a tad too personal) upset her hugely, despite her "taking it in the spirit it was intended" (a phrase that ranks right up there with "now I'm not prejudiced but ..." in the "about to say something the exact opposite of what they just claimed" stakes), and only when she transferred out to another department did she tell people how she felt, only excluding myself and one other lady from her comments. Now sure you can say she was being over-sensitive about fairly harmless remarks, and I don't tread on eggshells around people, but the older I get the more I realise it's so easy to make others unhappy without meaning to, purely through being thoughtless.

I've no issue with upsetting people that deserve it; it's just that, when I upset folk, I like it to be a specific decision on my part to do so, if that makes any sense. I'd hate to think some careless, thoughtless, throwaway remark of mine might have made someone needlessly unhappy.

That said, I generally call an arsehole an arsehole.

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 6:57:13 AM   
poise


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
*chuckles* You've been kinky too long poise.

Too long? *gasps* Is there such a thing?

Wait, is this your nice way of calling me old?

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 7:02:13 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Too long? *gasps* Is there such a thing?


I tell the girls anything more than 3 inches is a waste.

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 7:14:42 AM   
Rochsub2009


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: bigblock61

Do you mess with the vanilla people that surround you in daily life? I love to people watch in my spare time only because humanity can be really entertaining. The reason I'm asking is because I'm training a new guy at work to build transmissions. I told him that he doesn't have to call me Master, Sir will do. I also told him that he has to pay a daily tribute of coffee every morning. This went on for about a week before he figured out that I was messing with him. The whole place thought it was hysterical to watch him bring me coffee first thing every morning and I did smack him upside the head once when he forgot. I really couldn't believe he let me do it.



I actually found that to be funny. Everyone needs to lighten up just a little.  What we do isn't all that special and godlike.


Aileen1968,
Nobody said (or even insinuated) that what we do is godlike and special.  What part of your rectum did you pull that out of?

OP,
What you did was inappropriate behavior for a work environment.  I could appreciate the joke if you said that you did it among a group of your buddies while watching a football game, or on a camping trip.  But to do it at work with a subordinate who was looking to you for training just seems unprofessional and immature.  Moreover, striking him (particularly with witnesses) was grounds for termination.

I like to believe that I have a good sense of humor.  But what you did just isn't funny.  It was obnoxious, bullying behavior.  Grow up!

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 8:32:46 AM   
leadership527


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Moreover, striking him (particularly with witnesses) was grounds for termination.

To be fair, I missed that part. No, I would never strike someone at work.

I have routinely declared myself their overlord, referred to my team as "my minions", and even once printed up some new tags for their cubicles... "Minion 1", "Minion 2", etc. I laughed regularly about how it was great to have minions to do my evil bidding. I'm pretty sure I didn't offend anyone's sensibilities with my evil overlord schtick. I could've just as easily used the word "master" instead of "overlord".

Heck, I also routinely addressed my CIO as "My Glorious Leader".... particularly when other people were present and complete with a deep bow from the waist. That was particularly funny because the corporation I worked for had an extremely egalitarian culture... no executive parking spots for the executives... no fancy offices, etc.

An awful lot of a joke like this is going to be in the delivery and execution details. If you pull it off it's funny and builds camaraderie. If you don't, you're an asshole.


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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 8:59:14 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527



An awful lot of a joke like this is going to be in the delivery and execution details. If you pull it off it's funny and builds camaraderie. If you don't, you're an asshole.




I once cracked a joke with an ex Au Pair, we talked mainly in a mixture of French and German, she wanted to learn German but her command was very basic (very very basic), my French is OK but not great and I speak no Arabic (she's Moroccan so her French was heavily accented) and it was a complete misunderstanding, what I thought was that she asked where some of the recycling stuff goes (packages of the cleaning material), but she was actually asking what happened to the previous cleaner, and I said part of it goes into the yellow and part of it in the green bin. She looked utterly terrified and it took us quite a while to figure out what each of us meant. I really didn't want her to think I would chop people up and deposit them in the recycling bins....

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 9:06:05 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527



An awful lot of a joke like this is going to be in the delivery and execution details. If you pull it off it's funny and builds camaraderie. If you don't, you're an asshole.




I once cracked a joke with an ex Au Pair, we talked mainly in a mixture of French and German, she wanted to learn German but her command was very basic (very very basic), my French is OK but not great and I speak no Arabic (she's Moroccan so her French was heavily accented) and it was a complete misunderstanding, what I thought was that she asked where some of the recycling stuff goes (packages of the cleaning material), but she was actually asking what happened to the previous cleaner, and I said part of it goes into the yellow and part of it in the green bin. She looked utterly terrified and it took us quite a while to figure out what each of us meant. I really didn't want her to think I would chop people up and deposit them in the recycling bins....


LadyC, that's *not* very professional. Everyone knows you toss ex employees in the incinerator.

Shesh.


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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 9:09:20 AM   
LadyConstanze


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt



LadyC, that's *not* very professional. Everyone knows you toss ex employees in the incinerator.

Shesh.



I'm not that wasteful, don't you have a slave market where you are? And why do you think I have those 2 vicious Dobies and the terrifying kittens?


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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 9:14:05 AM   
DesFIP


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Raw meat diet?

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 9:16:36 AM   
LadyConstanze


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Times are hard, one has to economize!

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 9:25:02 AM   
whitedragonX


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Nah, my sister does tho, all of her male friends she calls her minions and makes them carry her her crap and mind fucks them

And the good thing is she is not into the lifesyle thank god

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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 11:34:31 AM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
OP: YOU are a dickhead. Being a dickhead has nothing to do with dominance and everything to do with bullying. People don't like dickheads, and they will never respect them


Exactly... and I think the more accurate would be insecure dickhead.



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RE: Do you mess with the vanilla's in your life? - 6/28/2011 1:16:42 PM   
bigblock61


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WOW! Some of these replies are interesting. Maybe I phrased it wrong. Maybe mechanics in my area are a little more light hearted than the rest of the world. Who knows, but the guy I was messing with found it as funny as I did. Can everyone calm down a notch? I've been a mechanic for 25 years now and have worked in many places, it's always the same, mechanics play pranks on each other. The new guy usually gets to be the brunt of most jokes. Think of it as hazing. I'm not "forcing" my dominance on anybody but I can make fun of my kinks and everybody I work with knows my kinks. I talk about them all the time. As for the smack upside the head. It didn't get reported because there was nothing to report. The smack was the equivalent of punching your friend in the shoulder so there's not even any bullying involved. 


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