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Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 4:58:24 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'm just curious about something and I'd like to get some different views on it.

There have been a few posts here about Dom's asking Dominant women to give up their Dominant status to become their submissives.

I'm wondering why do these men believe that is something so easily done? and secondly, why do they think a woman would even entertain such an idea? Thirdly would these same men be willing to give up their Dom status to submit to a woman?

~Lashra
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 4:59:27 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Because some "dominant" men wholeheartedly believe that dominant women are just submissives waiting for the right "Master".  Kinda like they believe all women are bi-sexual.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:00:22 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I have this feeling you've just opened up a nasty can of worms. Think I'll go hide before the storm hits.

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:08:11 AM   
zebra


Posts: 64
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I'm just curious about something and I'd like to get some different views on it.

There have been a few posts here about Dom's asking Dominant women to give up their Dominant status to become their submissives.

I'm wondering why do these men believe that is something so easily done? and secondly, why do they think a woman would even entertain such an idea? Thirdly would these same men be willing to give up their Dom status to submit to a woman?

~Lashra


I've met a few doms who seem only too eager to give up their dom status when it isn't convenient. But that may say more about me and the kinds of doms I am attracting than it does about them.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:08:38 AM   
LJslittlekit


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Men think that they are the "gods", they think all Women are supposed to bow down before them, and as feastie said, some do believe all women are submissive and just waiting for the right "Dom" to come along. In most cases they find out wrong in the end. In this day and age, women have taken a come back and have become the Dominant race. Many high class Pro Dommes will tell you, Women are always higher than a man. So in the case you are a head slave to a female, and She has submissives, in most cases The Domme will tell you female subs. you may hit a male sub for getting out of place (I.e8 Spank them) But they will tell you, NEVER to hit another female sub, that the Domme will do it. And honestly i full heartedly agree. Many Men today are just in for sex anyway. There are very few true Dominant males who in the end are not in it for their sexual satisfaction. Where as females have a more open look at what true Dominantion and Submission is. This is my oponion, and i do hope it made sense to you.

kit

(in reply to slaveladyj)
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RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:09:57 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I think it is insecurity. For me to partner with a Domme wouldn’t scare me one bit. I do not have a fragile ego it is very secure. I have no fear about deferring to her in her areas of expertise or knowledge; I would expect the same from her as well. That said I have no problem deferring to a sub/slave in her experience either. I do not confuse intelligence or equality as a sign of weakness and would not expect a Domme to submit and be servile. I would expect mutual respect but not a 50/50 relationship either. They simply do not work. I expect to give my 100% and expect the same of her. If you are waiting for the other to do their part, you’re going backwards and not forward. Stuff happens and if each of you are in 100% mode all the stuff gets done with no skin off either nose.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:10:32 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		This could be a very interesting thread. Think I'll stick around.

My knee jerk on this is what feastie said. That pretty well sums it on the first part. As to the second, there are those identifying as Dominants who contact Dominant women wanting to submit to them. Both come across as not really what they proclaim to be, but rather just jerks.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to slaveladyj)
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RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:16:51 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I'm in the mood for a maelstrom today, so what the hell.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
I'm wondering why do these men believe that is something so easily done? and secondly, why do they think a woman would even entertain such an idea?


(a) Because all you Dommes are just submissives waiting for the right Master to come along, force you to your knees and make you realize your "true" nature. Only a real Master can do that and he knows he's the one.

--OR--

(b)They're horny net geeks who want a piece of ass...any ass...and they believe (a) will help them get it.  Besides, if a guy hits on ten women in a bar 9 of them may slap him in the face but that last one...well, he just struck gold.

quote:


Thirdly would these same men be willing to give up their Dom status to submit to a woman?


Yes, actually. I've received numerous emails from "Doms" on here and other sites who present themselves as SuperUberlyDomsofDoom yet in private correspondence they suggest that I could have a go at them, too *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* 

I've also corresponded with "Doms" who state that they started out in this lifestyle as submissives but when they realized how few Dommes there were to choose from they decided to be "Doms" so that statistically they'd have a better chance at a piece of ass. One even stated that he can still get his submissive needs met by "Domming" his submissive into Topping him. Then he wondered why I chose to sever contact. Well, duh.

Bottoom line is that lots of men peruse these sites looking for a piece of ass. They don't care which end of the slash their ass ends up on and choose whatever moniker/role/approach they think will increase their chances of getting a piece of ass.

One of my absolute favourite emails, though, was from a submissive who said he had fantasies of submitting to a submissive woman. He even offered financial servitude, right off the bat. Obviously someone doesn't know how to do the D/s math so I had to explain to him that most submissive women don't want to dominate someone....which sorta goes hand in hand with being submissive LOL

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:27:06 AM   
LJslittlekit


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		i agree MsIncognito, i get many e-mailing me and asking to be my submissive, telling me they will pay for everything. i tend to ignore the e-mails or write back telling them this.
a) Read my profile
b) Does it say i am Dominant or submissive?
c) i think it says submissive, so please tell me why i want a submissive when i AM SUBMISSIVE
LOL
Then i usally follow up by telling them to buy a pair of glasses to help them read things clearly. ^_^
 
i can be mean at times, but it is just plain silly the e-mails one gets when T/their profiles says
submissive they get e-mails from sub's asking to be their subs
 if the profile says submissive and taken. one gets e-mails from Dom/Dommes and couples asking to meet and see where things go, and possibly if it goes well they will take you as Theirs. Or telling you they are a couple and looking for so and so...
If Your a Dominant and profile says that. That is when a Dominant gets e-mails from other Dom's saying i'll make You my B*tch (as my friend did the day She signed up for collarme). Or saying that they are Dominants and looking for subs to another Dominant.
 
It is crazy how Y/you type one thing and something twists the words in a persons mind giving them the OPPOSITE idea than what is in O/ones profile. sometimes it is almost scary and i wonder if they ever went to school and were taught to read.
Okay i am ranting ~*~shuts up lol~*~

_____________________________

~*~kitten~*~
~*~i only curl around THE Lady's ankles~*~
~*~Owned by Lady Jessica~*~

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:29:44 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps they have difficulty accepting reality?

Whilst admittedly I've seen a few Dommes where I have thought "Oh if only she where sub"  but it ain't going to happen any more than I would sub to the couple of young ladys who suggested I switch for them. If a person isn't a switch then they simply won't.

Not to say it doesn't happen, I've known a few who found a switch side to themselves, but it is a decision only they can make and there is no point even asking until they have already discovered it about themselves.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:33:49 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

Personally I think it is insecurity. For me to partner with a Domme wouldn’t scare me one bit. I do not have a fragile ego it is very secure. I have no fear about deferring to her in her areas of expertise or knowledge; I would expect the same from her as well. That said I have no problem deferring to a sub/slave in her experience either. I do not confuse intelligence or equality as a sign of weakness and would not expect a Domme to submit and be servile. I would expect mutual respect but not a 50/50 relationship either. They simply do not work. I expect to give my 100% and expect the same of her. If you are waiting for the other to do their part, you’re going backwards and not forward. Stuff happens and if each of you are in 100% mode all the stuff gets done with no skin off either nose.


You're a smart man, Loki.  Good for you and yours.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:40:10 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you feastie. There you go being a bad bad sub and making the Dom blush.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:42:37 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

Thank you feastie. There you go being a bad bad sub and making the Dom blush.


I'm just awful.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:51:11 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		smiles, I've gotten it from both sides as well---from the "you're a confused little girl and you just need a good man"--to  "shhhh don't tell anyone but I'd submit to you"--its really obvious these guys are far from real----sure there are a few here that we tease about it---but its with the ones that would never think of changing what they are any more than I would---I also think many of us who are Dommes did indeed spend a time as a submissive when they either discovered what they were really or validated what they were, so they are very secure and certain about what they need---I know I did--even in the vanilla I couldn't have a relationship with the Dom---the dynamics for Me were way off---I think it just comes from being the wankers or just being lonely and finding this venue as a means to an end---however Lashra, in due defense, I have known a few Dommes who have turned the tables and asked to be submisssives in just the same manner---I just see both of those types as the trollers and players---(I did have one that hounded Me, I don't get creeped out often but this one scared the stuffing out of Me).  To them its a pool of fish and they have the wiggly worm---I do feel though for any sub that takes the bait.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 5:57:43 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		kitten,

I appreciate your rant because I have encountered the same exact things you are complaining about.  I regularly get email from submissive males saying that I "sound just like what (they are) looking for!"  I don't get it!  It clearly states that I am submissive!  Just because I took the time to write what it is that I am looking for (and did so fairly eloquently, if I must say) does not mean that I want control.  I just know what I like and what I don't!  This is information that I have gleaned from D/s as well as vanilla relationships and I don't feel like wasting my, or anyone else's, time if we are not compatible.  READ THE PROFILE

A couple of weeks ago I met someone special.  I am not yet collared, but I feel a very strong connection and attraction to this individual.  I have changed my profile to reflect this.  Right at the beginning, before you read ANYTHING else, it states that I am not looking!  I also have a journal post to this effect and I even changed what it is that I am actively seeking from dominant males to friends only.  Do you think the emails have stopped?  NO!  A part of me is flattered, but at the same time I am insulted.  Of course, if the worst happens, and it does not work out with me and SacredDom, then those who continued to send me emails will NEVER have a chance.  They have already disrespected me and they obviously could not be bothered to read my profile!

My favorite though, and I just had to keep it, was from the couple that wanted me to give up all of my worldly possesions, my name, and my past and enter into a relationship as their slave.  There would NEVER be a release from their servitude!  I clearly state that I have a family (nieces, nephews, etc) that I love and like to see often and that I am not interested in 24/7 arrangement.  I do not know how they thought that I would fit the bill!

Ooooohh!  I feel better getting that off of my chest!

NEXT!

< Message edited by angelface183 -- 5/16/2006 5:59:09 AM >

(in reply to LJslittlekit)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 6:16:45 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
I'm wondering why do these men believe that is something so easily done? and secondly, why do they think a woman would even entertain such an idea? Thirdly would these same men be willing to give up their Dom status to submit to a woman?

~Lashra

A lot of doms are clueless dumbasses.  I think that tends to clarify a lot right off the bat.

That being said...I've always said I think there are a LOT more switches out there than people are willing to admit.  I've known female doms who do find a male dom they want to submit to. 

The sad part is that people take that and run with it- rather than simply respect it as an individual's choice.

Why do doms almost universally try and get a threesome together with their sub and another chick?  It's just where their minds take them.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 6:18:12 AM   
LJslittlekit


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		angel,

At least someone understands where i am coming from! and congrats on finding someone. i have found the One my life is dedicated to. actually, my collaring is next month, the weekend after my twentyth birthday ^_^.
i have to say, i like you already, your a smart girl. Don't ever let someone change what you want in life. the purpose of the relationship in lifestyle or just BDSM is for both of Y/you to grow.
i just made this account (LJslittlekit) because i was sick of the idiots who IMed me in chat saying they were jerking off to my pics, or that they wanted me because they could not read. so i made this name. my Lady helped with my profile. and No pic LOL. My other acount was LittleKitten1986. ^_^

_____________________________

~*~kitten~*~
~*~i only curl around THE Lady's ankles~*~
~*~Owned by Lady Jessica~*~

(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 6:38:51 AM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		kitten,

I sent you something to your email that you might find amusing...however I just realized that I sent it to the 1986 address!  Enjoy!

(in reply to LJslittlekit)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 7:10:41 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Alright feastie, i'm ready to sub. But I am topping from the bottom 1000%

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Giving up their Dom status - 5/16/2006 7:15:48 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I agree that anyone responding to a dominant woman's ad asking her to submit is an idiot.  However, people, being human after all, make all sorts of interesting choices.  Just look at the number of Top/Top relationships one sees here.  The very long term relationship I just ended was with a Top who chose to be my partner and was on the submissive end to me.  The relationship ended for reasons having nothing to do with this. 


(in reply to angelface183)
Profile   Post #: 20
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