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It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 6:59:23 AM

Asherscorp1

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Joined: 3/6/2011
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Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? This is all just so silly." Calling someone "Master" or being a "pet," objectifying another person, expecting them to obey commands, when set up in the context of "real life" with kids, board meetings, elections, does it ever strike you as a ridiculous way to spend your life? Last night Master had to correct the way I was arranging the kitchen three times and each time I had to kneel at his feet while he explained. In the middle I almost grinned once, thinking, I am grown woman, this is MY kitchen after all, how silly is this? Yet, I'd never want it any other way. Anyone else ever have brief flashes where you just shake your head at your own absurdity?

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"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown

Post #: 1

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 7:17:40 AM

DecadentDesire

Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
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I would be lying if I said I never had those kind of feelings.

However, I deal with those feelings by recognizing that I don't feel that way it's because it's "wrong", but because what I want out of my love life conflicts with what I have been raised and socialized to view as "normal"

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I was once a Rabbit, driven Mad, by the Decadence of his Desires...

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Post #: 2

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 7:20:36 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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LOL - ALL the damned time.

If someone had tried to tell me 5 years ago that I would come to see Carol as my property I'd have fallen over laughing. OK, it seems to be working out for us, but this is a REALLY odd way to run a railroad.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 3

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 7:29:29 AM

Asherscorp1

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Joined: 3/6/2011
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I am so glad you, specifically, said that since I love your posts and look forward to your insights. I definitely would have laughed and perhaps hit someone if they had told me three years ago I'd "belong" to a man or be obedient in every-day life. It amazes me how right it is yet how strange it all seems when I examine it.

_____________________________

"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown

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Post #: 4

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 7:56:51 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I can't imagine him being so silly as to rearrange a kitchen he doesn't work in. Especially because it will cause him more work in the long run as everything I have on lower shelves so I can reach them, would then be out of my reach and he'd have to keep getting them for me.

But we don't use honorifics and such. We know what we are to each other in the heart and that's more important here.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 5

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 8:33:36 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? This is all just so silly."

No; never thought that.

quote:

Calling someone "Master" or being a "pet," objectifying another person, expecting them to obey commands, when set up in the context of "real life" with kids, board meetings, elections, does it ever strike you as a ridiculous way to spend your life?

Of course not.

quote:

Anyone else ever have brief flashes where you just shake your head at your own absurdity?

I never have

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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Post #: 6

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 10:28:56 AM

VaguelyCurious

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From: United Kingdom
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FR

Yeah, all the time. But I also think that about my irrational kitchen habits (peelings go in the brown bowl and only the brown bowl, unless potatoes are involved in which case everything goes in newspaper), CreepyStalker's hatred of cowboy hats (unexpected but VITRIOLIC), my inability to sit and watch someone else clean their glasses without wanting to do it for them...

Basically, life is ridiculous. People are ridiculous. Anyone who doesn't at some point look at the behaviours they've developed and go 'hah! That's actually kind of silly!' just isn't looking hard enough.

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Sthetic on FetLife.

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Post #: 7

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 10:42:13 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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no. just seems natural to me. it's always been like this for me in my relationships. it would seem silly for me to think of it in any other way

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Post #: 8

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 10:44:18 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Nope, never thought of it. But I don't get silly rules to follow, or requirements to call anyone master, or any other signifier that many do when enjoying ds.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 9

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 10:50:48 AM

MsKittyValentine

Posts: 36
Joined: 6/22/2011
Status: offline

Not generally as we are not high or even medium protocol. We seem to just live like two people in love with one in control. He does sometimes call me Mistress normally if I am actually doing something sexual or painful but then it feels right, not laughable.

I honestly feel my life with paulss is a very natural way for me to live.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 10

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 10:51:58 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

FR

Yeah, all the time. But I also think that about my irrational kitchen habits (peelings go in the brown bowl and only the brown bowl, unless potatoes are involved in which case everything goes in newspaper), CreepyStalker's hatred of cowboy hats (unexpected but VITRIOLIC), my inability to sit and watch someone else clean their glasses without wanting to do it for them...

Basically, life is ridiculous. People are ridiculous. Anyone who doesn't at some point look at the behaviours they've developed and go 'hah! That's actually kind of silly!' just isn't looking hard enough.

This.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 11

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 11:10:43 AM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
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I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 12

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 11:27:43 AM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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My disconnect comes more from the ridiculously cutsey things we say and do as two people who are just goofy in love. The hurty things seem more acceptable to me. It's more the lovey dovey things that make one part of me go 'good God woman, what did you just say!' and the other part melt into a puddle when he says it first. Pookie, darling, sunshine, cutie pie....the horror, the HORROR! Part of me watches from a distance and gags, the other part gazes adoringly waiting for the next bit of sweetness to come my way.

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 13

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 3:25:01 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1

Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts? This is all just so silly." Calling someone "Master"

Actually no. Ive called my boss "boss" sometimes I call ppl mister, Call a priest "father" Call my mom "crazy lady" So is the priest really my father not that I'm aware of. Is my mom really crazy well that's debatable.
Absurd I don't think so.

My kids call me Dad. Their kids call me Pops you get the idea. Aint no thang

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 14

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 3:28:06 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

A lot of things in life are silly. Have you seen some of the things that pass for fashion?

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Post #: 15

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 3:29:15 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful.

I really can't relate as Im in charge 24/7 it's just my nature to be in or take charge of a situation. That's not to say Im always barking orders. You can be in control in very subtle ways.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 16

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 5:35:49 PM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful.

I really can't relate as Im in charge 24/7 it's just my nature to be in or take charge of a situation. That's not to say Im always barking orders. You can be in control in very subtle ways.

BadOne

It's not a relationship that many can fully relate to and you can see that from other posts on this topic here on CM. Most folks who have vanilla and kinky relationships keep them separate. A quirk of mine is that I'm not comfortable in a kinky relationship (even a play partner one) unless the vanilla aspect of mutual respect is there and right first.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 17

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 6:40:55 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1

Do any of you ever look at the language you use, the behaviors you engage in, the interraction between you and your partner and think, "Am I nuts?

The orgasms tend to obscure such thoughts.

lol

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 6/30/2011 6:41:24 PM >

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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Post #: 18

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 8:23:01 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

I'm not 24/7 BDSM or vanilla. My Miss has said that she sometimes finds difficulty in switching gears from the vanilla aspect of our relationship to the Domme aspect. The words we use are a very important aspect for both of us getting in the mindset of BDSM or setting the mood of vanilla. We have particular language that is unique to us and it is growing with time, while it may seem silly....the mindset that it puts me in is very helpful.

I really can't relate as Im in charge 24/7 it's just my nature to be in or take charge of a situation. That's not to say Im always barking orders. You can be in control in very subtle ways.

BadOne

It's not a relationship that many can fully relate to and you can see that from other posts on this topic here on CM. Most folks who have vanilla and kinky relationships keep them separate. A quirk of mine is that I'm not comfortable in a kinky relationship (even a play partner one) unless the vanilla aspect of mutual respect is there and right first.

Therein lies the rub. I can only speak for myself as I have no idea nor do I care about other ppl dynamic. I don't view life in terms of vanilla and kinky that entire concept makes zero sense to me. I am the dominate one in all areas of my life. I dont have a switch that I turn on and off.

I dont view myself as kinky I just have different needs shall we say A bit left of mainstream. My girl and I dont have a kinky relationship <whatever that is> We have a relationship based on what works for us.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Muttling)

Post #: 19

RE: It's just so silly - 6/30/2011 8:38:14 PM

playfulotter

Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

In my last few relationships I have done it and thought it was silly at times but wanting to please was more important....but over my last 10 years being into this I have done it less and less or I should say said things less "silly"....Only when someone brings it out it me does it seem "right"..then not silly at all....

_____________________________

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” ― Benjamin Franklin

"Some people are otters, some people are rocks." ~Sheldon Cooper

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 20

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