Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Why is it....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why is it.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 7:06:28 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		that the men being the most demanding about the degree of submission in their mates (whom they hope to meet) seem to be the ones least deserving of any submission at all?

I just read the profile of a 27 year old TPE Master....


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 7:11:42 AM   
DecadentDesire


Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
Status: offline 		I think the "lifestyle" in general is a breeding ground for unrealistic expectations, even in people who are normally level headed and down to earth. I would guess it's because the things we want in our relationships often begin as nothing more than a fantasy in our heads and the process of making that fantasy a part of our lives is something that comes with experience and hard knocks.

Very few people are raised in an enviroment where they get first hand experience as to what a D/S relationship really is in the same way we get first hand experience as to what constitutes a "marriage" or a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship.

< Message edited by DecadentDesire -- 6/30/2011 7:14:49 AM >

_____________________________

I was once a Rabbit, driven Mad, by the Decadence of his Desires...

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 7:13:43 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Too much porn

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:00:18 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I find that most people have poor relationship skills. And there's a tendency for those with the worst to believe that a d/s relationship doesn't require any. They choose this in order not to need to acquire any.

On fl, some girl said that if she has to talk to her partner to find out what he wants, then he isn't a real dominant. The stupidity of that blows me away.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:01:36 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, many of us didnt come by getting into our 40s and 50s and 60s and alone by being good at relationships, one hopes we learn.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:09:11 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I find that most people have poor relationship skills. And there's a tendency for those with the worst to believe that a d/s relationship doesn't require any. They choose this in order not to need to acquire any.



that's very true, i think that's the primary problem. for some reason, people get into this figuring that they'll just find a "true (insert orientation here)" who will put up with any amount of idiocy on their part. that way they don't have to own up to their own flaws and do any work on them. and anyone who doesn't go along with it just "isn't a 'real' (insert orientation here)."




_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:12:29 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		God knows Lilly, we see enough of them here on the boards. The guys who've been looking for ten years and in all that time haven't been able to get a second date, and damn few first dates either. A couple of names spring first to mind but not wanting to get modspanked, I shan't mention them.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:43:23 AM   
Isambard


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/20/2009
Status: offline 		"If there's anything going, and I put in for a bit of it, it's always the same story: ‘You're undeserving; so you can't have it.' But my needs is as great as the most deserving widow's that ever got money out of six different charities in one week at the death of the same husband. I don't need less than a deserving man: I need more. I don't eat less hearty than him; and I drink a lot more."--Alfred P. Doolittle, My Fair Lady

< Message edited by Isambard -- 6/30/2011 8:46:05 AM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:48:19 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Yes, many of us didnt come by getting into our 40s and 50s and 60s and alone by being good at relationships, one hopes we learn.


Maybe it wasn't being good at relationships, but rather, sucking at who we picked to have them with.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:49:11 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		6 of one half a dozen of another.............


be seeing you........

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 8:51:56 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline





_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 9:27:47 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
Maybe its just horny net geeks that cant get laid.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 9:51:38 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


Maybe its just horny net geeks that cant get laid.


But surely they are allowed to dream!

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 9:54:21 AM   
SeekingRMSlave


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/26/2011
Status: offline 		Because, the ones being the most demanding are not really dominant, in personality, but, dominant by actions. They have to be that demanding, on all levels, to convince themselves, or anyone else, that they have any sort of strength at all
Really, I think someone should bend them over their desk and spank them, until they promise to stop that.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 10:03:02 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think a lot of people who are trying to give this thing a shot are folks that believe that it's a relationship shortcut.  From the outside looking in (translation - no experience in a long term dynamic) someone might think it doesn't really take relationship or communication skills with a partner.  They just see the hype of 'I say, you do' and think it's easy to slip into that with someone they haven't even met.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 10:17:10 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


Maybe its just horny net geeks that cant get laid.


But surely they are allowed to dream!


yeah, as long as they leave their dreams in dreamland


_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 10:55:43 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I can only echo what others have already said. The perception that they can ignore their own shit, take short cuts, be lazy.......etc.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 10:58:38 AM   
MsKittyValentine


Posts: 36
Joined: 6/22/2011
Status: offline 		I think some newbies do get given a very odd picture of what bdsm and D/s in particular can be about because they read stupid stuff by people on websites purporting to be 'experts' telling them 'the rules' and what you can and can't do to be in the bdsm club and boy is a lot of it bullshit.

If they actually take some of that stuff on board, use it in their relationships, they will seem tragic, conformist, sheep who have no idea how to be themselves and indeed have no idea what their own dominance actually is as a philosophy or motivating factor in their lives.

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 12:59:34 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

that the men being the most demanding about the degree of submission in their mates (whom they hope to meet) seem to be the ones least deserving of any submission at all?

I just read the profile of a 27 year old TPE Master....



I just was perved by a 28 yo master with 13 years of experience!!!

_____________________________



My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why is it.... - 6/30/2011 1:32:59 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Of course you were. They start giving out Dom 101 classes in middle school.

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why is it.... Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.313