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Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 9:32:37 PM

SashaSteel

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So I'm curious, to those Masters/Doms that like to share their sub or slave with other people, (sexually) Do you worry about STD's? Oral, Genetal or Anal? Just curious since one in every five people have a STD.

Sincerely,
Sasha

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 9:36:00 PM

Logus

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Ditto, I'm curious. Do you require partners use protection and play safe?

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 9:39:25 PM

wittynamehere

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SashaSteel
to those that share their sub with others, do you worry about STD's?

Why did you put "to those that share their sub with others" at the beginning of that question? The act of sharing or being shared doesn't give you STIs - unprotected sex with an infected partner does. Have your partner tested, and know their sexual history, before having unprotected sex. This goes for people into sharing as well as everybody else.

I thought this was common knowledge since at least the 90s, but perhaps not?

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 9:40:30 PM

SashaSteel

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Condoms do not 100% protect someone from a std. Also you can catch aids and herpes, g.w. from oral. Many people don't know this.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 9:44:15 PM

Logus

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And HPV.

Everyone wants a trendy case of HPV.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 9:54:25 PM

leadership527

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I have not shared Carol yet. Yes, I do "worry" about STD's but only in the sense that they are something to be thought of. Given that if I do share Carol it is not going to be with some random person off the street we should be able to sort out the disease situation pretty easily.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 10:31:02 PM

peppermint

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Gary had a transplant several years ago. He can't take the chance of catching anything as his immune system is suppressed to save his transplanted organ. We stay monogamous to protect his health and life.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 10:38:51 PM

wittynamehere

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
Gary had a transplant several years ago. He can't take the chance of catching anything as his immune system is suppressed to save his transplanted organ. We stay monogamous to protect his health and life.

This is bullshit for several major reasons. Please educate yourself. Or, if you know it's bullshit and are just using that as the excuse, fair enough but we don't want your BS :)

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 11:08:14 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Actually Wittynamehere:

IF you contract HIV with an already compromised immune system it rapidly infects your body, becoming full blown aids within a few months to a year and resulting in death in most cases in 3 years.(compared to the normal 15 to 30)

IF you contract ANY disease it runs rampant... a common cold can kill an SIS person...so the risk of stds is very fucking important to consider in their case.

And If you wouldnt mind, I kind of think the question is relevant and is fine just where it is. If YOU dont agree, report the posts and let the mods do their job.

OP: I am am not in relationships where there is the possibility of being shared, I do not like the added risk factors of Stds as well as some other personal reasons.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 11:10:07 PM

peppermint

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Excuse me. When Gary gets something bad, it tends to get out of hand very quickly. An upper respiratory infection lets his pseudomonas get out of hand. This means special IV antibiotics for 3 weeks and a trip to the hospital twice a day to receive those antibiotics. Transplant patients over 7 years tend to get HPV infections easily and it can be difficult to control. The body normally fights HPV but when you have a suppressed immune system your body can't fight. HPV can be picked up whether condoms are used or not. Since he's had so many antibiotics over the years many do not work well anymore. He's down to some of the newest and most powerful ones available. Hopefully when they no longer work there are other new antibiotics for him to try.

I fail to see why our concern for his health is bullshit. Can you please explain your position? Perhaps we have been worried about infections for no reason at all. Perhaps you can tell us how YOU deal with various types of infection so that we will be able to emulate you.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 6/30/2011 11:32:39 PM

Acer49

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I don't think any self respecting Dominant would ever consider making such a request. Now a immature socially inept individual, with self-esteem problems is another story

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 1:20:24 AM

VideoAdminRho

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FR~
The OP asked a legitimate question. Please stay on topic and do not engage in personal attacks.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 6:20:24 AM

DesFIP

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This is just one reason why we're monogamous.
But I doubt most people who are being invited to a one time only playdate will be willing to be tested and then remain celibate for several months before being tested again. Nor are we, for that matter.

And as that is what's required to be absolutely sure, we're not willing to take that risk.

Peppermint is absolutely right about how risky ordinary illnesses are to people with lowered immune systems. Even those taking much lower dosages of immune system suppressants are at risk of a cold turning into pneumona requiring hospitalization. The much higher dosages of transplant patients puts them at utmost risk.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 7:33:28 AM

DecadentDesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

I don't think any self respecting Dominant would ever consider making such a request. Now a immature socially inept individual, with self-esteem problems is another story

I want to provide an alternative viewpoint to your stance here, but I can't do so without making assumptions about the stance itself. Would you mind elaborating on why you associate the request to share a submissive with immaturity and low self esteem?

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 7:56:21 AM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SashaSteel

So I'm curious, to those Masters/Doms that like to share their sub or slave with other people, (sexually) Do you worry about STD's? Oral, Genetal or Anal? Just curious since one in every five people have a STD.

Sincerely,
Sasha

He doesn't share and neither do I. So no worries on that front.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 8:14:30 AM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

I don't think any self respecting Dominant would ever consider making such a request. Now a immature socially inept individual, with self-esteem problems is another story

Funny, I've always observed just the opposite. I've found - in my OWN personal experience - that it's the ones with low self-esteem, fear and very little confidence who are so territorial that they can't stand the thought of sharing. On the other hand, a man who is not afraid to experiment with what his partner wants/needs and what he himself may find enticing on some level - that guy always had a level of intelligence, confidence, esteem, etc. that was not to be found in the "mine, mine all mine and I ain't never, evah, evah sharing" types. YMMV...........luci

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 8:17:02 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Logus

And HPV.

Everyone wants a trendy case of HPV.

Like this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs0fGo6rgQ0

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 8:27:17 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SashaSteel

So I'm curious, to those Masters/Doms that like to share their sub or slave with other people, (sexually) Do you worry about STD's? Oral, Genetal or Anal? Just curious since one in every five people have a STD.

Sincerely,
Sasha

I would not be involved in any sharing type of situation, but I would imagine that those who do, make sure they are doing it in a sane and healthy manner. One would hope.

It is the same thing as your avatar; some people might ask if being choked or choking is safe or unsafe, and you will get people saying, oh god never, or sure, choking can be done safely.

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 8:38:53 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I have not shared Carol yet. Yes, I do "worry" about STD's but only in the sense that they are something to be thought of. Given that if I do share Carol it is not going to be with some random person off the street we should be able to sort out the disease situation pretty easily.

Not to be flippant, but if it would be that easy then a lot of spouses wouldn't catch something from their other half who has been playing around and not told them. To be honest, I'm one of those terribly conservative types who wouldn't be satisfied by anything less than a very recent full STD test, even if I would for some reason break up with my partner and start dating again, it would be something I want and expect, and of course I would be prepared to offer the same in return.

Pardon my French, but a guy might be to die for, but no guy is worth dying for....

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RE: Sharing your sub or slave. - 7/1/2011 10:28:13 AM

errantgeek

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Okay, if I were to take a sub girl and decide with her that sharing is something we would like to experience, I'd personally vet all potential partners as her Dominant, including the same interview and negotiation process I'd go through with any sub and an STD test, and absolutely insist on barriers and SSC play. Hell, I'd probably insist on being there to supervise and provide aftercare, and talk to both parties afterwards, at least for the first few encounters to ensure everything is on the up-and-up. The very act of "sharing" within a D/s context in my mind carries the connotation it is being done by my knowledge, permission, discretion and/or in some cases command, which means that if something happened to her (physical or mental trauma, STD, pregnancy, violating a limit, all the way down to an unenjoyable encounter) I am also culpable as her partner and Dominant for failing to provide her a safe, positive experience.

If the situation were reversed and were I with a Mistress who wanted me to sexually service others (which actually is among my kinks as a sub), I would expect nothing less from her.

This is one of those forms of play that while not being particularly intricate and requiring extensive training before attempting, still has serious health and safety concerns and potential fallout, and should be treated with every possible precaution to ensure safety, sanity, and consent.

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