Jaded

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MistressK2011 -> Jaded (7/6/2011 8:01:43 PM)
I guses I don't give up easily. I have to say as of today I have become 'jaded' about messages and their messengers in the old inbxo here. On the other other hand, I've been on here as MistressKo then my current one since the end of January, so it did take the hoary little suckers a long time to break me. The reason I'm asking submissives. . .well I hear that you sometimes have it a bit harder yet with messages and finding people who are real (as in will meet you, can be verified, etc.) So in a dark comedy sort of way I'm asking how long on this site before YOU became jaded? Winner gets. . .a life? :-) - K

DesFIP -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 8:08:59 PM)
I was already partnered when I started on here. However it took me about a month on another site before I started talking to someone with whom I had a lot of compatibility. I was happy when people said stupid things that let me turn them down. It wasted less of my time when they revealed themselves as incompatible immediately. You can't change anyone else or control who writes you and in which manner. So change your viewpoint to make it more positive. Beyond that, if people usually date for over ten years before they find a partner, why would you expect that to find a partner on a kink site would be any different?

poise -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 8:19:53 PM)
I'm soon to be celebrating a whole year as an active member here, and I have yet to receive any mail that left me with negative feelings. This puts me in first place so far, yes? [:D] I am sorry you have been getting less than desireable mails. However, changing your id isn't going to stop the fools from being fools. And being jaded might blur your vision to where you won't see the good people. Be grateful that you've spotted thier flaws early on, and move on to sunnier skies.

juliaoceania -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 8:20:00 PM)
I am not jaded yet... Most of the time I have been on this site I have been involved with the same person, but that relationship ended a little over a year ago for good. I question whether or not I wanted another D/s relationship. I have questioned how submissive I am, I have questioned whether or not I am ready to have a relationship over that time, but not because of my in box, but because my heart got broken. I suppose I might be jaded if I began to expect things from strangers on the internet, but I do not expect anything from my interactions here. I am mostly here for the forums. I think i might be jaded if I expected more from my interactions here, but I just don't.

catize -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 8:20:33 PM)
Not jaded at all; I find a sense of humor helps a lot. I mean, how can I NOT laugh at some stuff folks write? For example: “you will be chained outside and fuck all my fat farmer friends” or “If I gave you a jar of bees would you hold it on your breast and let them sting you?” or “I am looking for my ~~sole~~mate” The BEST and funniest was the guy who wanted to kiss all my ~~erroneous~~zones! I giggle every time I think about saying 'nope, ooooh warmer, uh, not there yet, OMG do I need to draw you a map?' [8D]

atursvcMaam -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 8:21:27 PM)
What is the expression, "before one finds one's prince, one has to kiss a lot of frogs" While i have screened a fair amount of people on this site (and others) my success rate here is on a par with the rest of the world. i just don't tend to advertise in the day to day world as clearly and blatantly as i have here at times. While i am too old, too attached and too far away to appoach you, your profile is well written and enticing. Perhaps you could be less appealing or accept the attention as a compliment.

windchymes -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 9:04:01 PM)
You say jaded, I say taking the internet for what it is.

Jeffff -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 9:10:41 PM)
I was jaded before I got here.

Arpig -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 9:22:55 PM)
5-1/2 years. Not jaded, still looking, and having fun. I've been a regular on here since I first found these boards. I'm in no hurry, I'd much rather be single than hooked up with the wrong person. At my age "til death do us part" isn't really all that distant a concept.. If a girl for me is out there, I'll find her, or she'll find me, by and by. And if not, well then I've had a lot of fun here anyway, it's all good. I view coming here and seeking a sub or two as a hobby, rather than a driving need. Focus on enjoying each day for itself, enjoy what you do have, rather than fuss about what you don't. No sub is better than the wrong sub, don't you think?

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 10:11:14 PM)
i'm not exactly jaded because i didn't come here expecting to find anything. when i first started using collarme, i was with my late M, so back then obviously i wasn't shopping around. i never met anyone from here, or really even thought of it as a personals site. now, i'm just bouncing through life, and it's nice to chat with likeminded people from time to time. i still don't think of it as a personals site. if i run into someone, then that's awesome, but if i don't, it's still fine because i don't have that expectation anyway. =p

myotherself -> RE: Jaded (7/6/2011 10:57:59 PM)
When I first started here however many years ago, it was to find a partner. I talked to a lot of people, met a few of them, had a couple of short-term relationships...and after a couple of years I became a little jaded. So I stopped looking and started coming to the message boards. I also started going to my local munch, where I met some fab people and made some very good friends. I started looking again a couple of years ago, and went through the same rigmarole, and decided fuckit, I'm not actively looking online. There's a dearth of available male Doms in my age range locally who go to munches and clubs, so I pretty much gave up on finding a partner. I stopped focussing on the 'relationship' and started looking for 'friends'. I made a few, online and r/l, and started chatting to this nice guy who was fairly local. I thought we might be friends, but it turned out to be a lot more than that [:D]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 1:37:37 AM)
You reap what you sew. Perhaps it's your profile? I have done experiments in the past and proven that telling (and showing) who you are what you offer what you want . . . and peresenting it with a style that reflects the good mood you wish to project, gets awesome results. Even notable community leaders, keynote speakers, authors and society chairmen respond to a right proper profile here on little ol' CollarMe.com. Your profile is . . . well . . . let's just say it was written by the team of Depressed Diane & Negative Nancy. If I were submissive, sane and happy, I wouldn't go near that depressing shit with a 10 foot pole. That means you should be mostly be getting mail from crazy people that will tolerate the image you project. Maybe if you put some effort into that "weak-sauce" profile instead of whining about your mail, you would see a big change. As far as being jaded goes . . . I'm sorry to hear email on a website can make you worn out or wearied. I seriously believe that if you fixed your lame profile, you would see the other side of CollarMe.

0ldhen -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:16:22 AM)
I've had some tell me I am already jaded, due to the way my profile reads. But those who fit my description of what I want usually enjoy it highly. I've been here off and on, in various forms for years, and no, I don't think I'm jaded yet.

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:52:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressK2011 So in a dark comedy sort of way I'm asking how long on this site before YOU became jaded? Winner gets. . .a life? :-) - K OP, I have to agree with ResidentSadist, your profile is a complete and utter turn-off. If you want to attract bees...offer pollen. If you want to attract flys...offer shit. I understand becoming frustrated with players, but you have to look at what you (general) offer. Quality men are not going to throw themselves at your feet simply because your name is in red letters and you expect them to. When I start to feel a bit peeved about what I'm attracting here on CM, the first thing I do is have a look at how I'm presenting myself with my words and images. I also have found that when the jade monster starts to crawl from beneath its rock, that's the time to turn off the computer and get on with the business of living. Much like any other animal, people sense your emotions and will take advantage of them. Desperation draws those who enjoy using the desperate. Good luck.

littleone35 -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 8:19:00 AM)
I am an optimist i refuse to let myself get jaded. I was out of a not so great D/s relationship when i was irected to this sie by a friend. She knew i needed that kind of relantioship. I was not really lloking at first just browsing profiles. Also fending off the "fresh meat" e mails. met a few nice guys and all but not spark. I refused to get jaded and give up and after about i got a e mail from my (now) Master. Over 5 years later still going strong. Matt's littleone

MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:12:26 PM)
Interesting responses. I changed my profile yesterday to reflect a bad mood. " Urban DictionaryL black humour 51 up, 10 down humor that deals with unpleasant aspects of life in a bitter or ironic way Black humour is when, for example, a man takes off his belt to hang himself, and his trousers fall down. Another example of black humour, "Suicide just isn't funny, no matter which way you slice it," is an effective satire at the way that suicide is treated in mainstream western culture, insinuating that attitudes towards suicide are even more morose or morbid than the act or mental condition leading to it. sponsor this word buy black humour mugs & shirtsblack humour/humor morbid humour dark humour gallows humour off-colour humour" This is my usual profile: What The Girl Wants 24/7 TPE O&P Males (straight or gay) 25 and up No smoking No drugs (including marijuana) No cross-dressing In my province or willing to travel to meet a few times If you understand the above terms, what they mean, and are committed to this, please drop me a line. If you want to be owned by me in part or whole: Approach things in a serious manner as though it is an application for the job of your lifetime - because it is. If you want to be my friend: Be the sort of friend you'd like to have. All the rest you need to know is written in this profile. I have been LIVING kink for a total of 13 years of my adult life. I have a large, shedding dog so if you are allergic, please keep moving. :-) I'm Up For the Real Thing If you want to show your dedication, be honest, available, and genuine. I have my own business. I'm super-strict about privacy and discretion. Sometimes I work weird hours but I love it. OH, and no more quick brown fox. The dog got tired of the implications of lazy and went on strike. Tell me your favourite flavour of ice cream then I will know you read this far. We will chat. We will exchange pics. We will meet. If it goes well we will keep meeting. My Future (What I'm Looking For) I plan to eventually live the 24/7 lifestyle, or as close as I can get, honestly it depends on the person and the connection and dynamic. I don't want to miss out on something wonderful because of labels and names. I am not into feminization of men or cross dressing. You can be plain or pretty (handsome), tall or short, thin or larger. I can accomodate most health issues if you are upfront about them. My Domination Style My philosophy is positive reinforcement, growth of mind and body, bettering one's self through service or domination. I believe in trust, honesty, respect and dignity. Positive reinforcement and gentle correction. Commuication is key. If you are my slave, my lover, my friend, I will protect you through hell and back, if needed. I am calm-assertive. You will be calm-submissive. Submitting not out of fear but out of loyalty and dedication. I will be guiding out of the same, not out of anger or lust for power. If I'm mad, I tell you. I expect the same. I never tolerate drama. What Having a Male Slave Means to Me My slave will be cherished and valued for his submission and obedience. I cut this short, but you can ask me for details. Having a male slave will be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream, one I had before I even knew what to call it. He will be my trusted counterpart, and I will always 'have his back' through the tough times. Slaves are, to me, the most special kind of creature. My Kinks, and the Dark Passenger I can back off things that are 'too much' for a situation. I can also be a cold and effective punisher who does not back off and expects nothing less than perfection. I have a dark passenger like Dexter, but I only let it out with careful thought. I like confinement, bondage, mental bondage, shackles, TPE, and ownership. The rest of the stuff is in that list way down near the bottom. Sometimes I enjoy calling a slave 'it' That's just a kink. My favourite mental image is the naked male slave, kneeling or on all fours, standing proudly next to me, presenting itself (there goes my kink again), or moving around with arm and leg shackles doing my bidding. The Stuff About Me When I'm Being K and Not MistressK I have no kids, and I am single. Travel is pretty easy with my flexible schedule. I own one foot of the TransCanada trail. There's a box locked to a pole there so you can pay me 25 cents before continuing on. I am a member of the Time Travel Fund. Though a deep thinker, I'm not a very complicated person, if you ask me what I'm thinking or feeling I will tell you - if there is a stumble or pause it is only because I am trying to word my honesty in politeness - telling it exactly like it is for me is my style. I enjoy reading, a lot of mystery. biography/autobiography of famous leaders living or dead, how to books, trivia and fun facts, a bit of general fiction too. Often, whatever someone hands me if we're book swapping. If a book is truly awful, I've been known to actually throw it in a dumpster. I like pretty much all genres of movies, King's Speech, My Name is Khan, Stolen, to name a few. Lately I've watched indie, comedy/romance, crime thriller, and documentary. I am ecclectic when it comes to music, I'm not sure there is anything I would not listen to. Family nights can be board games, movies and popcorn, just hanging out in the same room. I love travel - been to British Columbia, Washington, Idaho, Oregon, Montana, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, North Dakota, Saskatchewan and Manitoba, Ontario, and New York (state not city). I'd like to go pretty much anywhere else. I love laughter. Tell me a joke I haven't heard, and we might just hit it off. ------------------- "I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying." (Shawshank Redemption) ------------------------ Which yes, gets a LOT of responses. But lately, and maybe it's the time of year, I've had the 'ooops I forgot I was married' set. First time actually, and only 3 of them. . .but honestly? For someone who WAS married and did everything you can imagine to try to keep that way (without compromising anything about who I was, but saying I really worked hard and so did he), it's the ooops I forgot I was married that just sets me off the deepest. I guess I'll go back to the usual profile. I was just attempting, as I said, a little dark comedy. . . What goes through those people's minds? "Oh my God! I woke up this morning beside some WOMAN! I had NO IDEA I was married! Well, I don't know her or like her that well anyway and since it's not going to work out, I think I'll go perv at some Dommes for a while. . ." Or is it over breakfast when the fork handle clinks with the wedding band, and they scream as if they've been tagged like rare falcons? "Holy shit, when did THAT happen?" There was one guy who had been married but 'living apart' for five years. I wanted to mention that you can actually pay off a car in five years, nevermind "I can't afford a divorce". Are these the same guys who are sent to the store with a list because otherwise they'll forget what they went for? "Haircut, milk, eggs, get married, mow lawn. . ." - K

sexyred1 -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:14:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I am not jaded yet... Most of the time I have been on this site I have been involved with the same person, but that relationship ended a little over a year ago for good. I question whether or not I wanted another D/s relationship. I have questioned how submissive I am, I have questioned whether or not I am ready to have a relationship over that time, but not because of my in box, but because my heart got broken. I suppose I might be jaded if I began to expect things from strangers on the internet, but I do not expect anything from my interactions here. I am mostly here for the forums. I think i might be jaded if I expected more from my interactions here, but I just don't. Almost exactly what she said. Yikes. Except for the fact that I have met a number of men from the site and none of them were compatible with me. Some were nice guys but I was not attracted to them, some were hot, but dumb, and some were total morons and assholes. But I don't expect much from online dating; anyone I have ever been involved with seriously I met in real life, not online.

sexyred1 -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:18:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist You reap what you sew. Perhaps it's your profile? I have done experiments in the past and proven that telling (and showing) who you are what you offer what you want . . . and peresenting it with a style that reflects the good mood you wish to project, gets awesome results. Even notable community leaders, keynote speakers, authors and society chairmen respond to a right proper profile here on little ol' CollarMe.com. Your profile is . . . well . . . let's just say it was written by the team of Depressed Diane & Negative Nancy. If I were submissive, sane and happy, I wouldn't go near that depressing shit with a 10 foot pole. That means you should be mostly be getting mail from crazy people that will tolerate the image you project. Maybe if you put some effort into that "weak-sauce" profile instead of whining about your mail, you would see a big change. As far as being jaded goes . . . I'm sorry to hear email on a website can make you worn out or wearied. I seriously believe that if you fixed your lame profile, you would see the other side of CollarMe. I disagree to an extent. My profile is not depressing or down or negative. In fact I get compliments on it all the time. Sometimes, you cannot blame the recipient; it is like all the people who constantly ask how I can be single; I simply say that I am currently single because the men I meet are not interesting enough for me to become unsingle for.

MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:29:08 PM)
To the 'kissing frogs' people and the one who said it takes 10 years of dating to find someone. . .I guess I'm more of an optimist. My longest relationship happened the first time I ever considered meeting someone from online, and the next three (enjoyable, but not as long) were met that way too, not ten years apart. I was more picky by the time I got to them, though. ;-) I'm not sure I expect to 'meet' the slave of a lifetime, I guess I just expect more people to have more common sense about basic things such as (I know, I know) reading the profile, not bothering people if you are married or attached or live farther than a reasonable drive away, etc. And yes, (I know, I KNOW!) common sense isn't. So many forums, discussions, studies etc. say that submissives (and I think all types in kink) are generally smarter than the rest of the population - why do they have to do such stupid things? Jaded. . but only for a day. I guess that optimism runs deeper than I thought. - K

angelikaJ -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:30:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressK2011 I guses I don't give up easily. I have to say as of today I have become 'jaded' about messages and their messengers in the old inbxo here. *On the other other hand, I've been on here as MistressKo then my current one since the end of January, so it did take the hoary little suckers a long time to break me.* The reason I'm asking submissives. . .well I hear that you sometimes have it a bit harder yet with messages and finding people who are real (as in will meet you, can be verified, etc.) So in a dark comedy sort of way I'm asking how long on this site before YOU became jaded? Winner gets. . .a life? :-) - K So, you have been here for just over 6 months and you consider that a long time... and long enough to become jaded. I was here for 18 months before the man who became Master to me sent His first cmail. We are togeher still and that was over 2 1/2 years ago. So, from my perspective, 6 months isn't long and I really don't understand how one can become jaded in such a short period of time. From my perspective one needs to have patience and be willing to take the time to get to know people. You may have not met the right person yet because they may have not joined collarme yet. Having said that, I am generally more patient than most people and I do not want to devalue your feelings. Your frustration is your frustration. Best wishes in your journey.

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