RE: Jaded (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 4:38:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
So, you have been here for just over 6 months and you consider that a long time... and long enough to become jaded.

I was here for 18 months before the man who became Master to me sent His first cmail.
We are togeher still and that was over 2 1/2 years ago.

So, from my perspective, 6 months isn't long and I really don't understand how one can become jaded in such a short period of time.
From my perspective one needs to have patience and be willing to take the time to get to know people. You may have not met the right person yet because they may have not joined collarme yet.

Having said that, I am generally more patient than most people and I do not want to devalue your feelings. Your frustration is your frustration.

Best wishes in your journey.


I had a bad day. That's about all to it. Bad day not assisted by having to work in 90F weather, getting eaten alive by mosquitos, and skipping lunch. (If I wanted to really whine I'd complain about the fact that for some reason I'm developing a real allgergy to mosquito bites, so it's like having hives everywhere all the time. THAT would be a whine. I could maybe think of a super whine but I'm enjoying my popcorn too much and well, I have better things to do. . .) http://www.collarchat.com/m_3756420/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3757379

Anyway. . .it is interesting how many people will rush to judge, based on only a small amount of information (a one day, crank riddled, leave-me-the-hell-alone-world profile)

- K



angelikaJ -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 6:08:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressK2011


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
So, you have been here for just over 6 months and you consider that a long time... and long enough to become jaded.

I was here for 18 months before the man who became Master to me sent His first cmail.
We are togeher still and that was over 2 1/2 years ago.

So, from my perspective, 6 months isn't long and I really don't understand how one can become jaded in such a short period of time.
From my perspective one needs to have patience and be willing to take the time to get to know people. You may have not met the right person yet because they may have not joined collarme yet.

Having said that, I am generally more patient than most people and I do not want to devalue your feelings. Your frustration is your frustration.

Best wishes in your journey.


I had a bad day. That's about all to it. Bad day not assisted by having to work in 90F weather, getting eaten alive by mosquitos, and skipping lunch. (If I wanted to really whine I'd complain about the fact that for some reason I'm developing a real allgergy to mosquito bites, so it's like having hives everywhere all the time. THAT would be a whine. I could maybe think of a super whine but I'm enjoying my popcorn too much and well, I have better things to do. . .) http://www.collarchat.com/m_3756420/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3757379

Anyway. . .it is interesting how many people will rush to judge, based on only a small amount of information (a one day, crank riddled, leave-me-the-hell-alone-world profile)

- K


You are evidently still having a a bit of a bad day.[8D]

My post did not accuse you of whining. It spoke of my experience and my perspective based upon the fact that "I am generally more patient than most people." [;)] 
It was actuallly supposed to be a hopeful response. My apologies that you percieved it as otherwise.
(Btw: the man who became my Master sent me a cmail within a day or 2 of joining. Sometimes, good things come to she who waits... [:)])





dcnovice -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 6:13:09 PM)

FR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ7uXX9K7Sk

Edit because I managed to make a typo when I only had to type two letters! Sigh.



littlewonder -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 6:27:59 PM)

I don't think I ever became jaded from online people.

I became jaded from my last relationship and how it ended. Thankfully that bitterness did not last long. Instead I chose to see life in reality.

If you're becoming jaded and bitter from online emails and profiles it's time to start asking yourself why or maybe time to shut off the computer for awhile.



atursvcMaam -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 7:21:45 PM)

Espresso Chip, but did not get any further, and had to read a second time to get to there.
i hope that you find what you are looking for, and that hope and what you are looking for finds you. Try the ice cream line about 2 lines earlier, and you should do some effective weeding, and if your intent is to find someone who will listen and try to get to know you, rather than looking for a quick pick-up then you may have done well here. You might expect that one out of a hundred will not get through reading, and as long as you have "Mistress" as part of your title you will still get fakes, frogs, and phonies.



DesFIP -> RE: Jaded (7/7/2011 8:35:07 PM)

OP, we are not mind readers. If you're having a bad day and need to vent about the heat and the mosquitoes, then say that. Trust me, I share your feelings on the mosquitoes. We've had so much rain this year that they're unbearable. We skipped the town fireworks because of the clouds of them.

But complaining about something other than what is really bothering you is not an example of good communication. Perhaps start practicing that to improve your chances of finding the relationship of your dreams?



0ldhen -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 4:15:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressK2011


I had a bad day.


Head over to polls and random snippits, then open the IAdmits. Lots of tea and sympathy and genuine hugs over there for any who need them.



MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 8:43:37 AM)

I didn't realize it was a bad day until I woke up the next morning. I actually *did* feel as though I'd had "it" with the various 'dumbmails' and was now going to be in a permanent state of suspicion or. . .guardedness more than I usually am, in the pessimistic way.

Thanks for the polls/snippets point-out. I do like stats. ;-)

- K



MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 8:51:04 AM)

quote:

You are evidently still having a a bit of a bad day.

My post did not accuse you of whining. It spoke of my experience and my perspective based upon the fact that "I am generally more patient than most people."
It was actuallly supposed to be a hopeful response. My apologies that you percieved it as otherwise.
(Btw: the man who became my Master sent me a cmail within a day or 2 of joining. Sometimes, good things come to she who waits... )


No, my apologies there. I forgot to indicate when I was finished addressing you and was generalizing. It was indeed a hopeful response. I hope that you are very very happy in your life with your Master. :-) Sometimes good comes either way, and isn't that an amazing thing?

- K



juliaoceania -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 9:42:56 AM)

quote:

And yes, (I know, I KNOW!) common sense isn't. So many forums, discussions, studies etc. say that submissives (and I think all types in kink) are generally smarter than the rest of the population - why do they have to do such stupid things?


Where are these studies?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 10:10:56 AM)

I havent found that folks in BDSM/kink are any different than the rest of the population. Same mixture of stupid, smart, narrowminded, interesting, open, dull, fat, thin, what have you. Folks are folks.

I agree about being tired of the hunt, that's why my profile is hidden. I am very cautious, and neutral at best about new people. It saves time and energy.

Come over to the I Admits, we love company!



MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 12:27:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Where are these studies?


There is one here which had nearly 7,000 participants
http://gloria-brame.com/therapy/bdsmsurveyresults.html

Or one which cites several sources with different studies:
"Purposive samples of BDSM populations tend to find that they are relatively well-educated. (Alison et al 2001; Nordling et al 2006) This probably reflects a scene bias to some degree, with better-educated people being more apt to participate in BDSM organizations. Brame (2000) and Bienvenu and Jacque (1999) consistently find that about 30% of their samples have a terminal BA and 20% (about twice the national average) have an advanced degree. However, they disagree radically on the level of high school completion."
http://kinkresearch.blogspot.com/2009/10/educational-profile.html


The same last site also cites material for the argument that there is no correlation between kink and intelligence.

This is a forum discussing experiences with kink and intelligence:
http://forum.kink.com/message/93102?c=1

- K






leadership527 -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 2:12:24 PM)

In case you haven't noticed MistressK, "relatively well educated" does not have anything to do with how smart they are or, WAY MORE IMPORTANTLY, how wise they are. It has to do with the socioeconomic bracket of their parents.

But honestly, I've been around MENSA folks enough to know that they are perfectly capable of being blindingly stupid. Anyone who's been around "smart" people knows that.



juliaoceania -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 3:19:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressK2011


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Where are these studies?


There is one here which had nearly 7,000 participants
http://gloria-brame.com/therapy/bdsmsurveyresults.html

Or one which cites several sources with different studies:
"Purposive samples of BDSM populations tend to find that they are relatively well-educated. (Alison et al 2001; Nordling et al 2006) This probably reflects a scene bias to some degree, with better-educated people being more apt to participate in BDSM organizations. Brame (2000) and Bienvenu and Jacque (1999) consistently find that about 30% of their samples have a terminal BA and 20% (about twice the national average) have an advanced degree. However, they disagree radically on the level of high school completion."
http://kinkresearch.blogspot.com/2009/10/educational-profile.html


The same last site also cites material for the argument that there is no correlation between kink and intelligence.

This is a forum discussing experiences with kink and intelligence:
http://forum.kink.com/message/93102?c=1

- K






One has to be careful with studies with respondents that read about a study and volunteer to answer the questions. These individuals would be more likely to be educated. It would be more helpful if the researcher sought a smaller and more randomized sample, such as at munches, BDSM events, etc...



MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 6:15:38 PM)

Let's see if I can cover the proper quote attributions, answer whatever seems to require it, and still have time to go to a movie tonight.

@dcnovice - what's FR? Love the link. That's actually the song on the radio the day I got my driver's license.

@littlewonder

If you're becoming jaded and bitter from online emails and profiles it's time to start asking yourself why or maybe time to shut off the computer for awhile.

Yes. Maybe I'm getting hypoglycemic more. I'd kill people when I was hungry enough. Not that I necessarily *have*. . .

@atursvcMaam

if your intent is to find someone who will listen and try to get to know you, rather than looking for a quick pick-up then you may have done well here. You might expect that one out of a hundred will not get through reading,

That's ok. At least I'm getting lots of ideas for ice cream flavours to try.

and as long as you have "Mistress" as part of your title you will still get fakes, frogs, and phonies.

Yeah. I was an 'internet bdsm site' newbie when I made the username. To me it was just an internet username to designate 'preference'. If you buy me pizza you can call me anything you want. Then when I reset it to just MistressK2011 (took the damn o out) I realized I would keep looking like a newbie if I didn't leave it well enough alone. Far as I know you can't change profile usernames?

@LadyHibiscus

I agree about being tired of the hunt, that's why my profile is hidden. I am very cautious, and neutral at best about new people. It saves time and energy.

Agreed on all counts. Maybe I should appreciate the pervy ones for the full colour pics?

@leadership527

In case you haven't noticed MistressK, "relatively well educated" does not have anything to do with how smart they are or, WAY MORE IMPORTANTLY, how wise they are. It has to do with the socioeconomic bracket of their parents.

But honestly, I've been around MENSA folks enough to know that they are perfectly capable of being blindingly stupid. Anyone who's been around "smart" people knows that.

Just call me K. Or whatever you like. I think I only get snotty when I'm hungry anyway. You are right about the difference between world knowledge/common sense and book larnin'. I would say my parents were not very middle class growing up, but I managed to in the top 10% percentile thingie (I don't keep much track of that stuff) and get six years of (really wonderful) college and univerisity.

On the other hand, they certainly taught me the more common sense stuff. The wisdom, that you can learn along the way from everywhere. I know stupid smart people too. I consider some of them lucky to have spouses so that they are fed on a regular basis (I'm not going there since I live alone. . .and already have timers reminding me it is x mealtime) and clothed. They can tell you a brilliant theory, but be totally out of it over something basic. Actually I remember an example of that. A couple, both with degrees. They leave a cake out, uncovered after a birthday party. Neither puts it away. They continue eating it, and a couple days after that one says, "Hey this cake is getting kinda hard" to which the first one replies, "Oh just cut the hard bits off." Apparently this went on for over a week. . .when I heard about it, I nearly had to go to the hospital for an asthma attack after laughing so long and hard.

The reasons that I can buy into the belief that BDSM people may be smarter than the general public is that the dedicated ones must learn formal courses, first aid, lots of leadership stuff and community liasing, etc. Sure the wank off ones who just want a kinky girlfriend might come from north of nowhere, but the lifestyle ones. . .those I think are smarter.

@juliaoceania

One has to be careful with studies with respondents that read about a study and volunteer to answer the questions. These individuals would be more likely to be educated. It would be more helpful if the researcher sought a smaller and more randomized sample, such as at munches, BDSM events, etc...


That is very true. And the less intelligent onces may not take the time to read about it in the first place. Now I've got the nasty memory of a kid I was in computer class with back in high school. Six months in, she had to ask someone to show her how to turn the computer on. The same one she'd been using since September.

- K



dcnovice -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 6:39:07 PM)

quote:

what's FR?


FR = fast reply

It means one is responding to the thread in general, using the text box at the bottom of the page, rather than replying to a particular poster.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Jaded (7/8/2011 11:55:05 PM)

I don't know that I'm "jaded," I think that I decided that I know what I want and need in a relationship, and although I get lonely from time to time, I would rather wait patiently for the right person than settle for less than what I know I want.

As for the oddballs that occassionally text me, they are a source of amusement often. Other times, they are just so ignorant in what they say, I can't help but blast them.

Sometimes I think the assholes on this site are God's gift to me to give me an outlet to let out my frustration.



LadyPact -> RE: Jaded (7/9/2011 11:40:54 AM)

I'm not jaded, at least not usually.  I make it very simple.  If you don't live near Me or you aren't from the forums, don't write.  If you do live near Me, it's a meet you at the munch or party prospect.  I don't mess with too much else.  If I'm traveling, I contact the munch organizers where I'm visiting so I can attend their events.

I do have one word (literally) of advice for you.  Eliminate the word discreet from your profile.  Even though you have it on there for business reasons, the married and cheating types will flock to it if they are just skimming.  Considering that some don't read profiles at all and others just glance quickly, you might want to change it to something more along the lines of that you prefer your privacy.



MistressK2011 -> RE: Jaded (7/9/2011 12:31:42 PM)

@LadyPact

Thank you for the 'word removal advice'. ;-) I'm developing my screening policy, basically now it's you live close enough to meet several times, or I'm not interested. Perhaps I need to specifically say that. Sometimes it's not a matter of (insert bad impression) being reality, but a badly described impression leading to a wrong one. Now I have a few more good ideas.

- K



LadyPact -> RE: Jaded (7/12/2011 9:16:31 PM)

MK, I hope it helps.  I wish I could tell you that it will eliminate it entirely, but it would be a big fat, hairy lie.  I will say that as you refine the process, it will get better.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875