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Mastersbunny93 -> serious question (7/8/2011 10:52:28 PM)
This is a question for all of you s/D my Master asked me to post this for Him ...Masters if ur rl with your sub are u serious 24/7 and if not how do You show her Your switching from laid back / playing to being serious about something .... as mentioned before W/were learning quite a bit and W/we talked today and i was a bit confused on when He was serious and when He was not ...He and i are togethore rl and have children so W/w are looking for ways that T/they cant tell but i can. If you are a sub when can you tell when your Master has switched from serious to laid back ... thank you very much for your thoughts

LafayetteLady -> RE: serious question (7/8/2011 11:16:33 PM)
Why are you expected to be a mind reader? First of all, you have children together and have been together (I think) 3 years (from reading your profile), right? Were you just a couple until recently? Maybe its just me, but as people are involved with each other over time, they learn to read cues from one another. In the meantime, why not just go with him telling you he's serious or maybe a wink when he's not?

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: serious question (7/8/2011 11:26:44 PM)
Hanners has a look. I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it. Other times, when I get carried away and am pushing her buttons or ignoring her desire to be serious, she just says "That'll do Babe."

Palliata -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 12:07:13 AM)
I'm not going to claim to be an expert on kids, but I've learned this much in my interactions with them: they are prone to extremely astute, if inconsistent, social observations. They WILL pick up on it, given time. That's a thing that will happen. They may not understand what they know, but they'll know something changes at certain times, and they'll know mommy starts obeying orders sometimes.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 12:07:31 AM)
I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Now, from a sexual/use/service standpoint? He can simply say something like "Good Girl", or kiss you, or whatever to let you know he's finished using you, and that you're now free to do as you please. (shrugs)

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 12:39:52 AM)
i just know when he is serious or having a joke, we are always in the dynamic so as far as thats concered its never laid back or serious it just is. if the kids are around i dotn call him master but i sit on the floor when they are around they think i am just a hippy. but we just know each other and i know by his reaction or look if somethings good or not good

DarkSteven -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 1:22:50 AM)
My tone of voice changes, and I'll repeat what I said. If she still doesn't get it, she'll be asked to get an implement. If there were children present, I'd say something oblique like "We'll have to have a discussion about that."

Focus50 -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 1:55:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mastersbunny93 This is a question for all of you s/D my Master asked me to post this for Him ...Masters if ur rl with your sub are u serious 24/7 and if not how do You show her Your switching from laid back / playing to being serious about something .... as mentioned before W/were learning quite a bit and W/we talked today and i was a bit confused on when He was serious and when He was not ...He and i are togethore rl and have children so W/w are looking for ways that T/they cant tell but i can. If you are a sub when can you tell when your Master has switched from serious to laid back ... thank you very much for your thoughts Easy; I'm mostly laid-back and casual in the day-to-day but when I'm "pulling the reins", she'll see it in my eyes and hear it in my tone of voice. And please do stop with that annoying slash expression of typing; it gives most of us a headache at the best of times but I don't know what some of these even mean (T/they???)...! Focus.

ExoticInterests -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 1:59:22 AM)
MasterSlaveLA seems to have the right idea....but if you must switch meanings at times, why not develop signals.....if he is within touching range, a little tap on your lower back before or during saying it.....or, if it has to be vocal then use an affectionate term that is unique....if he calls you 'babe' other times then use the reference 'honey'. It's a term of endearment for anyone hearing, but you both know the meaning.

Focus50 -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 2:12:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Surely you could grasp that by "serious", the OP meant in an authoritive Dominant mode as opposed to vanilla-type equal partner mode ("laid back")? The OP strikes me as being newish to it all but she's not the one failing in coummunication here.... Focus.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 3:28:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything. Surely you could grasp that by "serious", the OP meant in an authoritive Dominant mode as opposed to vanilla-type equal partner mode ("laid back")? The OP strikes me as being newish to it all but she's not the one failing in coummunication here.... Surely you could grasp that I fully understood what the OP "meant" with their question. The question is not the issue, it's the OP's thinking that's flawed -- hence the use of the word "confusion" in my reply. You and yours may operate under some contrived "mode" of sorts, I do not. And yes, they're most likely new/newish to this dynamic.

Aileen1968 -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 3:33:24 AM)
We joke and play around all of the time. But when he tells me to do something, I do it. And I do all of the daily things expected of me. My kids are often in the picture. They don't have a clue. All they see is mommy doing things for Shore. They find it funny that he chooses what I eat when we go out. That's as far as they have ever questioned anything and they are very observant. We also don't do all of those silly things such as using the words master, etc. We look like any normal couple.

kalikshama -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 4:30:55 AM)
Why shouldn't the children know that he is serious? Why can't he use the same tone for serious with you as serious with them? My sister and BIL are generally laid back but their children have no trouble telling when they mean business.

kalikshama -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 4:33:50 AM)
I know you are new and want advice, so let me give you some help with the forums. Posters often complain about bad spelling and grammar and the difficulty of reading slash talk W/we, etc. So please do lose the slashes and use spellcheck so we can focus on the substance rather than the spelling.

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 5:13:42 AM)
I am master ,they are property,with this have been said they are also family, mothers of my children and this takes the edge off the situation...we laugh, we have fun just like a normal family, but that can change with a blink of the eye when they screw up...Each dynamics is different in all situations, so this is different with each M/s relationship, mine works well as it is..B

slaveluci -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 8:20:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 We also don't do all of those silly things such as using the words master, etc. We look like any normal couple. We look like any normal couple too but we DO do that "silly" thing of me calling Him "Master." However, we don't do it as a way to shock others or force our choices onto them. I call Him that instead of His given name. It just rolls off the tongue as His given name would except that I make sure to be discreet and respectful when using it in public. It makes us feel anything but "silly." [;)] Oh...and as to how He let's me know He is serious: "Set-tle" in two syllables[:)] luci

OsideGirl -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 9:35:24 AM)
It was painful to even read that post. No punctuation, text speak and the "Y/y" nonsense. If it's indicative of the communication in the relationship, no wonder you're having a hard time. This actually is along the lines of my view: quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA I really don't understand where the confusion is for you two?!! I mean... what's the difference if he's being "serious" or "laid back" -- i.e., if you belong to him, then it's simple... HE SAYS, YOU DO. Period. He shouldn't have to take a "serious" stance with you for anything.

Mastersbunny93 -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 10:01:16 AM)
I'm very very sorry for the grammar of my post i have never been on a forum or chat that had anything to do with the lifestyle so i do welcome and your advice and criticism as for my children there very small so i understand what u mean by what he says goes. being new seems to be giving you all quite pain but how will i ever know if i weren't to ask and that is what i am doing I'm trying to ask you all instead of being a know it all because i of all people even when my mother was in the lifestyle don't know everything i know some. knowing something is different then actually doing it LOL. As for how i can tell i like the serious look and tone by far.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 10:32:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mastersbunny93 ...being new seems to be giving you all quite pain but how will i ever know if i weren't to ask and that is what i am doing I'm trying to ask you all Nobody has chastised or put you down for being "new". Simply stating somone is "new" is not an insult (or causing any "pain"), nor should you take it as such. [:)]

Mastersbunny93 -> RE: serious question (7/9/2011 10:39:19 AM)
ty and yeah i am not mad i open critisizm what would are world be like if we didnt have it confused

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