Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: 24/7 in different households?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: 24/7 in different households? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: 24/7 in different households? - 7/11/2011 7:56:47 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie
I can absolutely see your point here, especially about hiding places though i am not sure that i agree that there is a greater level of commitment from people just because they live together

I'm with you here. The cohabitation angle matters to me because that physical proximity matters. It changes everything but it does so in subtle ways. I would say the same of vanilla husband and wife who did not live together. I'd be the last person in the world to say "They weren't truly married" but I'd be quick to say "Their marriage does not resemble mine". But extending that into things like "commitment" makes little sense in my mind. I'm thinking more about things like toilet seats and toothpaste tubes than whether people are committed to the relationship. From a control standpoint though, just as OsideGirl said, those stupid little details matter. What I do not know about I cannot control. There's just an awful lot of life happening when nobody's looking when the two people don't live together.

Again though, what I do not understand is why "24/7" has turned into what it has. My understanding was that originally it was a label used to talk about dynamics which don't stop.... eg: not Top/bottom ones. That makes a lot of sense to me since I see a sharp distinction between "I'll boss you around during sex when we want to" and "I'll boss you around always". I'd just as soon leave the other things like "cohabitation" out of it since we already have perfectly good words to describe them.

"We are a married, 24/7, cohabitating, TPE couple." I'd say that gives a pretty decent picture of Carol and I -- although I could probably leave TPE out since that also is pretty much meaningless.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: 24/7 in different households? - 7/11/2011 10:05:02 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
I'm not much of a fan of labels these days.  Here's my scoop.  My relationship is 24/7, even though I do not live with him yet.  That's because it's on going - I don't stop being his when I walk out the door.  I still live by his rule, without even thinking about it.

That said, NOT living together is much different than living together.  Cohabiting means working around each other, waking up to each other, getting him what he needs at any time, not going somewhere I might want to go because he wants to go somewhere else, cooking what he wants for dinner, watching what he wants on TV, snuggling up together...the energy between us is different when I'm staying with him than when I'm at my apartment.  And I'm certain the energy between us when we're together will be different when I'm actually living there full time, as opposed to part time.

At my apartment, I decide what's planted in the patio, the way the kitchen is set up, what color the bathroom is decorated, where the cat dish goes, and so on.  I don't need to consider his schedule when making plans with family and friends.  And so on...

So if I had to define things, our relationship is 24/7 but we do not live together 24/7.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: 24/7 in different households? - 7/11/2011 12:02:41 PM   
hejira92


Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline
I have been 24/7 with Sir for 5 years, but we don't live together... yet.

I totally agree with what Lady P said about the "real" nature of relationships, no matter where the participants may be physically. But I also see the difference that living together makes.

This is one of the reasons I am so nervous about the changes we will go through when He moves in here. I know whatever happens will not cause anything dramatic, like a breakup- He will never let anything build up into that. But the adjustment period scares me. I have gotten used to "controlling" my own space and time- although His preferences always come first. When I am not in direct service, I can decide my schedule, what I eat, etc. All that will change when He lives here.

I know this whole thing is bigger in my mind than in reality. As He likes to say, He is a Master, not a monster. And He has already said that, when He's here, we will hang the toilet paper the way I like it. lol!

So, to the OP- 24/7 is wherever you feel it. You just may feel it more acutely in the same household.


_____________________________

Property of Cuffkinks

Member:
The Pimpettes
MoGa's IN-Crowd

"You're the gleam in my eye, the smile on my face and the bulge in my pants" - Cuffkinks

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: 24/7 in different households? - 7/11/2011 2:32:16 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

I have been 24/7 with Sir for 5 years, but we don't live together... yet.

I totally agree with what Lady P said about the "real" nature of relationships, no matter where the participants may be physically. But I also see the difference that living together makes.

This is one of the reasons I am so nervous about the changes we will go through when He moves in here. I know whatever happens will not cause anything dramatic, like a breakup- He will never let anything build up into that. But the adjustment period scares me. I have gotten used to "controlling" my own space and time- although His preferences always come first. When I am not in direct service, I can decide my schedule, what I eat, etc. All that will change when He lives here.

I know this whole thing is bigger in my mind than in reality. As He likes to say, He is a Master, not a monster. And He has already said that, when He's here, we will hang the toilet paper the way I like it. lol!

So, to the OP- 24/7 is wherever you feel it. You just may feel it more acutely in the same household.



Wasn't it also him who talked about making a molehill out of a mountain?

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to hejira92)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: 24/7 in different households? - 7/11/2011 8:59:31 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie


Do you think that in order to have a 24/7 power exchange dynamic relationship that the couple has to live together?





If I can't physically execute his commands then I would not call myself 24/7. It's not just mindset for us, it's also about service and my brain doesn't separate the one from the other. What other folks call their dynamic has no bearing on what we do as a couple nor should what we do as a couple have any bearing on some other relationship.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: 24/7 in different households? - 7/11/2011 10:06:03 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
I don't believe 24/7 requires living together.   I believe it requires great communication, consistent connection, and trust.    I don't have to witness an order has been executed, if I trust he is an honest human being, not yanking my chain.     M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 46
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: 24/7 in different households? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063