Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

A girl should only give a guy a year...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> A girl should only give a guy a year... Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 4:52:58 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		So, I happened to watch Millionaire Matchmaker ( ) and she said that a girl should only give a guy a year before she gets a commitment from him (marriage or in my case living together). And she said the guy should know if he wants to buy her a ring/commit by 6 to 8 months...

So, the question is,.. when you first start "dating or seeing each other when you are looking for a relationship, how long do you give the guy? and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit?



_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 4:54:31 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		everyone is different,I did not realise there was a timetable

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 4:54:47 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		.

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 7/11/2011 5:08:46 PM >

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 4:59:19 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		He asked me to move in with him the next day... we didnt get married for three years after that, .. but we are on year 27 now..........I know of no timetable,

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:04:40 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I have no timetable. I have leaped into committed relationships & I have dragged my feet. But for the most part, I know very quickly if the other person is someone to whom I want to commit myself. Sometimes within minutes of meeting, in fact. I am not a patient person. I was taught a hard lesson: life really can be too short & it can definitely be too long to live in unhappiness. So if I am wanting a committed relationship & the other person doesn't seem to be on the same page, I don't wait very long at all before I will be alone again.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:10:38 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't know if I agree with the timetable thing.  MP says it was a love at first sight thing for him.  I took a bit longer.  He did propose relatively quickly and we were married within a year.  It's still working for us a decade later, so I guess we're ok.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:17:56 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If we're not on the same page as far as the timetable goes, then we're just not compatible.
With that said, I've known of people who dated for years but they never did move in or marry. It seems as if the guy just wants her for a place holder. Because in all those cases, the guy eventually did throw her over to commit very quickly to someone else.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:22:05 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		The one time I made a firm commitment, it took just under a year.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:23:36 PM   
hepburn27


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/12/2011
Status: offline 		Usually 216 days, 17 hours, 23 minutes and 45 seconds.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:38:03 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If we're not on the same page as far as the timetable goes, then we're just not compatible.
With that said, I've known of people who dated for years but they never did move in or marry. It seems as if the guy just wants her for a place holder. Because in all those cases, the guy eventually did throw her over to commit very quickly to someone else.

Yeah, that is what I would be afraid of and why I think there does need to be a deadline of some sort.

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 5:44:27 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i don't go into any interaction with too much attachment to expectations or timetables.
my last relationship did progress to "we should live together and have kids" in a year, but i wouldn't say that i'd expect that the next time around.

(edit to remove a wonky "s")


< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 7/11/2011 6:26:21 PM >

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:11:25 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

So, I happened to watch Millionaire Matchmaker ( ) and she said that a girl should only give a guy a year before she gets a commitment from him (marriage or in my case living together). And she said the guy should know if he wants to buy her a ring/commit by 6 to 8 months...

So, the question is,.. when you first start "dating or seeing each other when you are looking for a relationship, how long do you give the guy? and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit?




Year 8, 4 of them living together, he asked me to marry him fairly soon (I think a week or two into the relationship) and I thought it was a joke, then proposed (but the ring he had didn't fit, nothing like proper planning eh, so he used one of my own rings, which I found hilarious), oddly enough I was always the one being afraid of commitment in relationships, not committing to a person but just having it official. Or maybe the idea of "living in sin" just appeals more to me ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:22:10 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		My ex husband is the only man I ever considered marrying...he proposed in six weeks, we were married in four months and the marriage lasted 14 years.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:25:50 PM   
imperatrixx


Posts: 903
Joined: 3/29/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

So, I happened to watch Millionaire Matchmaker ( ) and she said that a girl should only give a guy a year before she gets a commitment from him (marriage or in my case living together). And she said the guy should know if he wants to buy her a ring/commit by 6 to 8 months...

So, the question is,.. when you first start "dating or seeing each other when you are looking for a relationship, how long do you give the guy? and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit?




I think once you get to be a certain age and you decide you're ready to get married, a year is a decent amount of time to propose.

I think that only applies to people looking for their first marriage, in new relationships at a certain age though. If you're 20, you probably don't even want to get married right away.

But if you're in that age range where you're looking to settle down, and only interested in dating people who are also looking to settle down, then yeah, that's a good time frame.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:27:10 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If we're not on the same page as far as the timetable goes, then we're just not compatible.
With that said, I've known of people who dated for years but they never did move in or marry. It seems as if the guy just wants her for a place holder. Because in all those cases, the guy eventually did throw her over to commit very quickly to someone else.



I was in a relationship in which we did live together eventually. The relationship ended after 9+ years because I did not fit his template of someone he could be in love with; I ended it.
Between the time I ended things and he had his happily ever after there were 2 women that he loved but it wasn't right away.
The first one he discovered quickly that he loved what he thought he saw and not what was there and the second woman he married and had at least one child with.

I think for some men love is not instant. Attraction may be, lust or infatuation but some men are very serious about the use of that 4 letter word.
They are not committment phobic, just careful.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:35:46 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		What would have served me better in the past would have been a waiting period, not a timetable.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:37:18 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ



I think for some men love is not instant. Attraction may be, lust or infatuation but some men are very serious about the use of that 4 letter word.
They are not committment phobic, just careful.


I think that is very true, when I was 15 or 16 a guy I snogged (kissed) didn't want to be in a relationship, I was heartbroken for at least 4 weeks (an eternity for a teen) later on we met, both on the rebound, both didn't want a relationship and we were "friends with benefits", it was cool, he was a good friend and sexually we meshed pretty well but I felt there was no pressure on me to be "serious", in fact he was commitment phobic, which suited me fine, 3 months into the non-relationship he started to refer to me as his gf and became a bit possessive and I disengaged carefully. Some guys just need time and pretty often their timing is off, I mean 8 years earlier or so, I would have been the gf...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:46:23 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit?
As long as it takes. I don't think moving in or marrying really should be the goal, happiness should be. If that happens to involve living together full time great, but if it doesn't that is great as well.When I start a relationship I commit to that relationship for the duration. The intent is for it to last, but if it doesn't it doesn't. I did the til death do us part thing...I didn't know it at the time but aparently I had only ten years to live.

Zombie Bob


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 6:49:32 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me personally in the past when I was still dating if a guy could not commit after 4 or so months..give or take a month or two, then I walked away. If he couldn't do it by then then he most likely never would from my experience.

The men who have been the longest in my life committed pretty quickly and it was never even an issue.




_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A girl should only give a guy a year... - 7/11/2011 7:02:21 PM   
KeriB


Posts: 315
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

and if you are a guy, how long should it take for you to commit?
As long as it takes. I don't think moving in or marrying really should be the goal, happiness should be. If that happens to involve living together full time great, but if it doesn't that is great as well.When I start a relationship I commit to that relationship for the duration. The intent is for it to last, but if it doesn't it doesn't. I did the til death do us part thing...I didn't know it at the time but aparently I had only ten years to live.

Zombie Bob




I think this(the bolded part) is the key, as long as both parties are committed to the relationship for the duration of it and not just using each other as place holders, then there doesn't need to be a time table.



_____________________________

I fear neither death nor pain. A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire. ~ Eowyn

I've seen honest faces, they usually come attached to liars.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> A girl should only give a guy a year... Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141