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Awareness -> RE: The Voice of a Dom (7/30/2011 4:03:27 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Giermo
First post, thought I start off with a problem I face when being a dominant. This is the first problem I can see right here. Dominant is something you are, not something you turn on and off. People don't "be dominant", they simply are and it often finds expression in a scene or interplay with a sub or slave.
quote:
I believe I lack a deep commanding voice. My voice is not high pitched but I feel that a proper voice is needed for making commands. In none of my previous BDSM relationship as this been brought up but it is something that concerns me from time to time. A deep voice is a natural advantage which has the potential to hit the right note in a sub or slave, however it pretty much accentuates and enhances what you're doing, it doesn't provide the power which drives it.
The power derives from the mind and character of the individual behind it. In my experience, there are two fundamental aspects which are going to drive unconscious submission in a heterosexual woman. The first is your display of affect. Your demeanour, tone, body language and so on. Unconscious outer expressions of your inner self-belief.
The second is your display of character. The degree to which your actions match your words. Your sense of self-discipline, the standards you set for yourself and others. And so on. The first gives rise to an indication you could be the real deal. The second tends to confirm it.
If you want an example of someone who dominates without a deep voice, I suggest you consider the late Edward Woodward. His work in Callan and The Equaliser both contain examples which will give you an idea of how effective this can be.
However, I'd suggest you should be focusing on the inner qualities which exemplify a dominant, not be concerned with outer expressions of dominance. Such things flow naturally when your inner self is in order.
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