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what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:01:15 PM   
kinkquest


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		I am not sure how to handle the situation I am in. I had a short-lived online D/s relationship with a Domme. I ended it because she would not reveal herself on camera after months and months of talking to her and so that made me question whether she was actually female. Anyway, we got to talking early last month about getting back together again and she said she would go on cam with me. I have not heard from her since (with the exception of a couple of emails back and forth from the following couple of days after our conversation about getting back together). I have tried emailing her and instant messaging her and there has been no response on her part. She said she would keep in touch through emails with me since we are in different time zones. She missed my 30th birthday too which was a real bummer. I now am ready to move on. I am not collared. I do not have a lot of experience and would like to sub for someone who is actually present. We had a really great connection with one another, but I feel like I am waiting too long for her and I hate abandonment. I am pretty sure I should move on. Still, I would like to hear from you all to see what your thoughts and opinions are on the matter. Have you ever experienced this before? Do you think I should move on?

Thanks for your time!

kinkquest
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:10:48 PM   
kdsusa7894


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/19/2010
Status: offline 		OP, the same applies in a D/s relationship as applies in vanilla. In your profile you say you have a bf, if he did the types of things the domme you were talking to did, would you have moved on? If you want to be a sub with someone who is actually present you should change your profile as you state that you are open to online relationships. IMO you should move on, it sounds like she has. Or your guess that she isn't the person she states is correct and she's been playing you. Either way I would drop it and move on.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val To Aqua- Thanks!
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...

(in reply to kinkquest)
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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:15:21 PM   
kinkquest


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		@kdusa7894 Thank you for your opinion. What I mean by present is that they are communicative and responsive to my messages online, if it is an online relationship that is the only possibility between us. I am open to both online and in person relationships so my profile is correct.

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:16:57 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think you're asking whether a sharp, clean break is preferable to an agonizingly slow one.

I vote yes.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:19:30 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		From what you have said, you sound as if you have lalready decided to move on. From what you have said, it does not sound like a bad plan.

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:25:20 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		I will copy part of my signature block into this post.  (If I ever change my sig.block, the following line will go away, so I'll copy it to make it permanent to the post.)

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:26:13 PM   
kinkquest


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you everyone.

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 3:30:12 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		It sounds as if she (and I very much doubt this) isn't into you as much as you were into her.  I wonder if the promise of her being on cam was done to get you to do an extra cam show or two.  ( Did you?)  Now that she has gotten that, she disappears rather than reveal that "she" is a he.  Of course, this is just a theory as I do not know all the facts.  

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 4:01:12 PM   
kinkquest


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		Hi peppermint,

No, I refused to go on cam for her until I saw her on cam. I did a couple of cam shows for her in the past and when she wouldn't reciprocate with a cam verification of her, that's when I first decided that it wasn't going to work out. She really did seem very into me but apparently not enough to keep her end of the bargain I guess. Anyway, I hope I will meet someone wonderful on here.

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 4:02:36 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Yes, you should move on.

I guess I don't understand the appeal of a relationship that is completely on line.


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 4:13:37 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		~FR~
It sounds to me like she either (1)isn't who "she" says she is and has something to hide, (2)just wanted some free shows and when she? didn't get them she? left, or (3)just isn't that into you. I'd move on. "She" has.

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 4:32:37 PM   
DecadentDesire


Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
Status: offline 		Lucy from Peanuts needs to step up her cardboard stand on these message boards with a new sign that says "Validation $0.10"

Okay, now seriously, the answer is yes.


_____________________________

I was once a Rabbit, driven Mad, by the Decadence of his Desires...

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 4:53:12 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Glad you did not do another show.  Guess we'll never know if my theory was right or wrong.  Please, next time be more careful.  People can and do save those cam shows on their computers and share them with others.  If you showed your face you never know who might see it eventually.  

(in reply to kinkquest)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 5:12:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		nope, never experienced it because I tend to simply just talk to people online and then meet in person before I ever decide to be owned by them.

If all you're looking for is online domination then does it matter if you ever see them on cam or even what gender they are?

If you're looking for real life domination my suggestion is to just keep it platonic online, ya know...just simple chat...until you meet in person face to face.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 5:16:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm betting she's a he and trying to lure you into more cams.

Next time, look only for people within a couple of hours driving distance and meet within a couple of weeks for coffee.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 5:27:32 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		A lady on fetlife is dealing with that. She did a cam for someone and he posted it and her real name on a porn site. They did eventually take the video down, but still it was a big hassle an quite a stress on her. Another lady had someone she trusted show the video to his buddies and pass her info out to them.


quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Glad you did not do another show.  Guess we'll never know if my theory was right or wrong.  Please, next time be more careful.  People can and do save those cam shows on their computers and share them with others.  If you showed your face you never know who might see it eventually.  



_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 6:17:57 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkquest

Hi peppermint,

No, I refused to go on cam for her until I saw her on cam. I did a couple of cam shows for her in the past and when she wouldn't reciprocate with a cam verification of her, that's when I first decided that it wasn't going to work out. She really did seem very into me but apparently not enough to keep her end of the bargain I guess. Anyway, I hope I will meet someone wonderful on here.



And if you don't move on, you won't.



_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 6:19:46 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		some online domme who wouldn't go on fucking cam for you has stopped communicating with you, and you want to know what the fuck i would do in that situation?  end it all sugar, just fucking end it all. 




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 6:28:59 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I will copy part of my signature block into this post.  (If I ever change my sig.block, the following line will go away, so I'll copy it to make it permanent to the post.)

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong



I actually quoted that to somebody the other day. I didn't remember where I knew it from. I guess it must have been your signature line.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: what would you do in my situation? - 7/14/2011 7:08:11 PM   
SashaSteel


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/24/2011
Status: offline 		WAKE UP and smell reality. This person was nothing but a LIAR. Thus you did NOT have a "great connection." You were being used and lied to. There is nothing GREAT about that. When someone wont reveal who they are .. c'mon girl .. If you are here having to ask, you already know.

Go and have a real relationship with a real person. Then when you look back on this nonsense ... I guarentee you, you'll be shaking your head going wow ....

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 20
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