AngelControlsU
Posts: 45
Joined: 2/8/2009
From: Minneapolis, MN
Status: offline
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Sorry it took me so long to reply, I have been busy and talking to someone I met on collarme for hours at a time so I have not had time to sit down and write this (especially knowing it will take twice as long because I have to edit the hell out of it when I am done, I know can’t be lazy with you guys).
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ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
1) What you ask for doesn't make you sound like a prostitute, nor is it unrealistic. However, you have to realize that there is only a very small segment of the population that is looking for what you're selling. You want a very successful man (preferably a lawyer or business owner) who is also submissive, polyamorous, believes in female supremacy, enjoys financial domination, is seeking marriage, wants to be a father, desires to be a cuckold, is open to the idea of you having a live-in girlfriend, and wants to do the majority of the housework. And of course, for all of that to happen, he either has to live near Minneapolis, or be willing to relocate there. I'll bet if you look at every profile of submissive males on CollarMe and Fetlife combined, you will likely find less than 5 who fit all those criteria. And none probably live in Minnesota. That doesn't mean that you should give up, but it does mean that you will need to be patient.
Patients is not one of my best qualities but I doubt I will be waiting around as long a you think. I also think your estimate might be a little low, I have already talked to dozens of hopeful and interested subs that all fit some of those qualifications, some more then others and a few even fit all of them (in fact one of them is coming up here to meet me next Friday so hopefully this whole post will be a very moot point after that).
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2) You state that you want a successful and highly educated man, yet your profile doesn't make it seem as though you offer equal value in return (no offense intended). Your website, profile, and every message that I've read from you has been filled with typos and grammatical errors. That doesn't make you seem like a well-educated woman. You have multiple (very visible) tattoos and several piercings (that are not located on your ears). You also have blue, pink, and burgundy hair in several of your pictures. That is not the image that is going to fit best with your future successful lawyer husband/sub. You may not fit in well with the other wives at the law firm Christmas party.
Yes you make a good point, and you are right, it is very true that I am not “well-educated” by most anybody’s standards, in fact I did not even finish 9th grade. I was out on my own at 14 years old (legally on my own at 16) got my GED at the age of 16 and started going to the community and technical collage for human services when I was 17. I went for one semester before I decided I did not want to work in human services for the rest of my life and I also was struggling with working full time and going to school full time, so I quit both and went on vacation. While my schooling has not exactly been up to par that is no excuse for laziness and you are right, it is not the best impression to make. Everyone reading this is thinking “ohhh that’s why she’s a moron”, while in all actuality according to the Wechsler Intelligence scale My intelligence is classified as “very superior intelligence” and higher then 99.4% of the general population in fact. Yeah.. so now you know a bit about my life story, whether or not any of that was relevant is debatable.
Although my hair is not always bright colors and can be changed anytime I like to be less socially upsetting, if anyone does not approve of tattoos or piercing then they will probably not be interested in me and I am perfectly fine with that. There are plenty of professional guys who do like my “look“. When I wrote “I am especially attracted to attorneys and successful entrepreneurs” I did not mean “I think I would be especially attracted to attorneys and successful entrepreneurs” I know this from experience because I have dated such individuals before ( if a few of them had been remotely submissive we would probably not be here right now). Not only was I attracted to them for various reasons but they (at least these particular individuals) were very attracted to me. I realize it is not what everyone is attracted to and it is not a concern to me. I do not believe it will interfere with finding a person who I will be happy with. You do make a very good point about my pictures though, They are all crap ass pictures anyway, but it would be nice to have some pictures of me more dressed up and looking more classy and elegant.
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3) Some men enjoy financial domination. But many do not. I fall into the latter group. Frankly, I am extremely generous when it comes to spending money on a Domme. However, it is because I choose to spoil her in that fashion. It is NOT because she demands tribute as a part of the relationship. There's something about a demand for tribute that turns me off. Also, women who refer to male subs as "pay piggies" irritate me to no end. You use that terms several times on your website and profile. That would turn me off completely.
I do not feel like I am demanding financial tribute as part of the relationship, I am looking for a 24/7 TPE relationship. Most people I have talked to that either have previously been in, are currently in or are looking to be involved in a TPE relationships just see that as the usual order of things and a given that the Dominant has total control of both finances and whether or not the slave works outside of the home. To most I believe Total Power Exchange means just that and not Total Power Exchange Except Financially. That being said I believe it is mostly a given and therefore does not need to be focused on so heavily. It is also something that will take time to grow in to the relationship just as trust and comfortably does, when reading it on the page you do not get enough information, you just see that I plan on spending all the money. I can definitely understand how that in it self could be a bit scary to some lesser experienced, more independent subs. I think after getting to know me and being able to see, not just hear about but actually see with their own eyes real proof of my business history, advertising strategies, and the money I have made on my own and when they see my investing plans and the research behind them, Deferring to me for final judgment on all financial issues will not seem like such a scary thing.
As for referring to subs as “pay piggies” when I do, I am referring to the specific subs that have introduced them selves to me as such and that are interested in being only that. I am not looking for a “pay piggy” with this ad, nor would I ever refer to or think of my 24/7 slave as a “pay piggy” Every one has it seems, their own label for themselves, I got in to financial domination because self proclaimed “pay piggies” contacted me, they had pictures of pigs and money on their profile and they called them selves pay piggies, who am I to argue? I do not pretend I have not been in to Financial Domination, I will need to find someone who can separate that from this and understand that just because I have no problem taking money and gifts from anyone who contacts me with no other purpose then to send them to me. It does not mean I am any less sincere about the relationship I want.
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4) Your profile, your website, and every message that you've posted are far too verbose. Shorten all of them. You can communicate your message with far fewer words. Few subs are even going to take the time to read what you have to say.
Well I can’t say much about this, as you see I am still doing it. I do not think it is in me to stop, I am a wordy person, long winded, talkative, and blessed with the gift of gab. It is who I am and I will find someone who appreciates it and hangs off of every word.
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5) Coming on here and asking what others think about you makes me question your dominance. Self confidence is sexy. This thread communicates a complete lack of it.
You are completely correct, but I am not expecting to find my slave here. I do not even expect my slave to ever read this thread (although he might and that would be fine). I am very confident at times but everyone has moments of self-doubt even the most confident, and I do not claim to be the most confident. I was not very confident in this ad, It was written to be on the extreme side in an attempt to weed out some of the large amount of responses. It was also written one morning hastily in and a mood of frustration.
I am reminded of another thread on here I was following, You will remember it Roch as you posted there too, it was the one about the guy who though he had been “topped from the bottom” but it veered off in to a discussion about dominance and submission and where it comes from and how it manifests it self in different ways. While I do become very dominant in my relationships (not only sexual relationships but friendships, family members and even co-workers long ago when I worked with other people) and have dominant personality traits that come out at different times and with different people. I do not walk around all day exuding Dominance all over everyone I meet nor do I try to dominate everyone I deal with. I am also not so caught up in being Dominant that I am afraid to show weakness or vulnerability or ask someone else’s opinion on something or take in to consideration others view points and input. I am not trying to Dominate you and I am not trying to Dominate this forum, so I do not see being interested in getting some honest non-biased reactions to my ad here as being un-Dominant. I also just wanted to get a conversation going and I knew it would be controversial enough to do just that. I do have to say that I think my responses to these reactions has shown confidence, Confidence does not mean refusing to admit you do not have all the answers. That “why did I get topped from the bottom” guy’s thread communicated a complete lack of confidence to me as he did not have enough balls to even come back and respond to us. You are entitled to your opinion as everyone is but I do not think you are giving me enough credit on this one.
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I hope you receive this message in the way that it was intended. I am trying to help you, and hope these points provide useful feedback. I apologize if it comes off as an attack. That was not my purpose.
Yes I enjoyed your response and I think I told it in exactly the way it was meant, it was just what I was asking for, some of it I totally agree with and some of it I will agree to disagree with you on but I appreciate your time and input. I certainly did not feel attacked.
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ORIGINAL: johnsub9az
So once a submissive gentleman is in this state you should be able to successfully form the sort of relationship you're interested in. However it should be noted that the submissive male might be somewhat desperate for your attention while in this state so if you plan on using him only as a housekeeper and bank account he's likely to become very depressed and start to see his work performance suffer. I have a dog, actually, speaking of dogs, who's very similar; if she doesn't get petted ever day or two for fifteen to thirty or forty-five minutes she can become a little withdrawn and sad from being ignored or not treated affectionately.
Yes I likened my male slave to a beloved dog and I completely agree with you, I love my dog dearly and I spend time petting him, brushing him, walking him and playing with him everyday. Owning a dog is a lot of work, I know that owning a person is quite a bit of work as well. I know that even though the focus of the slaves world is on me, they are still every bit a person with feelings and needs that need to be taken care of for that slave to be able to function to the best of their ability.
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ORIGINAL: Sunny27
I have to say that if you want the male to take care of the house you live in financialy the ease up on the physical violence.
No man will want to be beaten up like!
Sorry Sunny but I don’t think you really have any idea about what you are talking about here. I am approached by self proclaimed “pain sluts” everyday and I have had more then one slave not work out because they wanted a greater degree of physical pain then I was comfortable dishing out. Your statement of “No man will want to be beaten up like!” (I am guessing you forgot the word “that” in that sentence but I am certainly not trying to jump on your back about a little mistake like everyone would with me ) couldn’t be farther from the truth. It even sounds a little silly to me for someone to say that on this site of all places.
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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
I admit I don't get the FinDom thing and never will. But that's your thing, you have the right to go for it. However, don't play like it is NOT your thing. That is being dishonest.
I am not playing like it is not my thing, I did not say I was never in to Financial Domination. What I did say is that my financial domination interests have nothing to do with this ad or the fact that I am looking for a long term TPE relationship. Believe it or not people can be multi faceted and be interested in more then one thing. Just because you are single and looking for a boyfriend does not mean you can not also look for plutonic friends as well and even at the same time. The only reason I have made the effort to bring my site away from being focuses on financial domination is because as it has been brought to my attention a lot of people are unable to separate my doing Financial Domination from my searching for a 24/7 long term TPE relationship (D/s, M/s cuckold and cuckoldress, whatever you want to call it I am so annoyed by the abundance of labels). Some people apparently think that if you do any kind of pro domme or fin domme activities you are incapable of anything else and that just because I do financial domination also I can not possibly be looking for a real relationship. This sounds quite silly to me but given that I am much more invested in finding my match then dealing with any more pay pigs it was not that big of deal to me. I should also point out that while people on this forum have made a huge deal out of it, I get messages from subs everyday that have read my whole profile, journals, and even my site and have no problem separating the two and do not feel that the pay pig stuff is directed at them. If I were getting no responses or something then I would probably worry about this more, but I am not trying to hide anything about myself so I think it has been toned down as much as it need to be.
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Typos and grammatical errors on the message board or chatting is one thing. People will often be in a hurry to type out a post. Typos and grammatical errors in your profile and worse, on your web page? Laziness. That is the first impression everyone is going to get of you.
You threw up the new site just a week ago in a day? It shows. Now before you go on about not asking for a critique of that, what do you think that says about you? Does it say you are a person who takes care to do things right?
Rochsub's opinions about your appearance are something you should listen to. He's a smart one, and as he said, aside from his having no interest in demands for tributes, is your demographic. Even if you added photos of you cleaned up, looking like you could appear appropriate at the local Bar Association dinner would be helpful...to YOU.
I already addressed this above under Roch’s quote.
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You say how everything you said was misunderstood, such as "I have an interest in flipping houses and so was hoping for a property owner so we could get into that." Do you understand how that makes little sense. First, just because the guy owns property doesn't mean he wants to flip it. Second, we are telling you how you appear, and then you say, "but I meant this!!" Has it occurred to you that maybe if you wrote "this" to begin with, you wouldn't have the problem? I mean, really, can you not see how that would appear that you are back peddling to attempt to improve the bad first impression?
I did not say everything was misunderstood, a few things were and that is why different people took them different ways, other things were assumptions based on the small amount of information given, therefore I gave more information to support my claim that the assumption was incorrect. You put a sentence I to quotation marks, I do not know who you think you are quoting but you are not quoting me or anything I actually wrote, I do see how your sentence makes no sense but I did not say that so it is your sentence and the fact that you have it in quotation makes as if I did makes even less sense to me. I would also like to know who said anything that implied that a guy who owns property would then be expected to flip his property? In fact you are probably not familiar with real estate matters but the act of “flipping” property implies that you buy it, fix it up and sell it with in a reasonably short amount of time, there for making him sell his pre-owned property doesn’t really fall I to that category. You say “we are telling you how you appear” but not everyone is saying the same thing and most of the points that have been made multiple times I have agreed with or stated that I disagreed with and why. Some people like you have made assumptions based on their opinions on what I have wrote, NOT actual things I have wrote. You have proven this for yourself with the quote you made up. I am not saying “I meant this” I am saying what the fuck are you talking about? And where the fuck do you get off making up quotes that I never wrote and then responding to me as if I did? I do write exactly what I mean but even as long winded as I am, I can not give every bit of information necessary to know everything about me in one personal ad. I am not backpedaling and if I was so worried about a bad first impression I would not have posted the thread to begin with. If you think for one second that I was not fully expecting responses like this then you are dead wrong on that too.
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The type of guy you want, and the demands you make in your profile (be sure to read my whole (very long and boring) profile and ALL of my (also long and boring) journal entries before you contact me, is going to go to your web site as well. Why not? You have it listed, right? You want someone to make the effort to learn all he can about you, he's going to your site. He's finding a woman who works in the sex trade (like it or not, if you do pay for play, you are in the sex trade), who can't take the time or effort to make sure that her site is not filled with misused or misspelled words, and to top it off, she does not appear like she will fit in any high brow professional event. Not a good impression.
Your opinion that my profile is long and boring is just that, your opinion. While I am sure that is it shared by a lot of other people (a lot of people do not like to read) it is not shared by everyone and it is not shared by the dozens of people both submissive’s and dominant’s, men and women that message me every week to tell me how much they enjoyed reading my profile or how much they like what I have wrote, Or that it is hands down the best profile on cm (I am not saying I believe it is, just that I have been told that many times). I do not consider expecting someone to take the time to read my profile before contacting me a big demand it is just common courtesy and frankly if anyone did not want to read it but still wanted to contact me I would know all I needed to know and would not have to waste any time on them. I have no problem reading anyone’s profile if I am interested in them or if they send me a good introduction letter, even if I am not interested in them, or if from your letter if I can tell they have put time and effort in to it and especially if I can tell they have read mine. I would also much rather read the long profile of someone I was interested in then to get to there page to find they have only two paragraphs to describe themselves and what they are looking for. That to me shows a lack of effort and seriousness.
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Personally, whether it is a male or female dominant, as soon as I see "fill out my application," I'm laughing too hard to read much further. You want a relationship? Sorry, you need to actually take some time and get to know someone by talking to them. I get you are getting too many emails and it is hard to respond, but you know what? That's life. You want them to read your long winded words, you should have the decency (to the ones whose emails interest you only) to take the time to get to know them without an application.
About my application, that was an experiment too, one that have found works well for me. I have taken the time to get to know people and I have gotten sick of wasting time asking the same questions, having the same discussions and going though the same 20 questions routine over and over. Like I have mentioned, my response to my original Profile change when I stated I was looking for a 24/7 cuckold relationship was overwhelming. Not only did it make the good ones harder to weed out and easer to lose in the shuffle, but even keeping up correspondence with the ones that did look good was to time consuming and way to redundant. The application has worked for me in several ways, first of all it shows something about the potential slaves personality and service attitude, If the slave thinks like you, I do not want to waste any time getting to know them, I am already fairly sure that they are not what I am looking for. After they have filled out the application I can look it over and tell if I want to start talking to them and getting to really know them or if they get the thanks but no thanks message. I also find it is very useful in weeding out the slaves that did not even bother to read my profile or know what I am really looking for. When a application does make it to the second stage it helps me to keep them straight and not confuse them with other hopeful slaves. This application was definitely one of my better ideas. In the two weeks or so that I have had it up I have received 22 applications, a decent number for me to be able to sort though compared to a hundred emails. Sorry but I do not have the time to take to get to know over 100 people every couple weeks with out an application. You may not like it or agree with it but hey that’s life right?
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As others have said, a relationship, D/s, M/s or not, is NOT all about you. If it were, then anyone willing to do what you wanted would suffice. You get what you put out. Put out the impression you can't take the time to even type your profile and web page without many, many problems, then you aren't going to take the time to properly engage in a relationship of any type.
Like I kind of mentioned in the very beginning of the whole response I have been talking to someone fairly seriously and we will be meeting in less then a week, Hopefully after that this will all be a very moot point and I won’t have to bother taking that time. I do appreciate your opinion even if I don’t agree with it and luckily for me I know that not everyone else does either.
WOW! am I getting close to the longest post ever record? Because this one is just ridiculously to fucking long!
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~Goddess Angel~
Female Supremacist
Searching for a worthy s to My D
AngelControlsyou.com
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