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RE: Appropriate Punishment - 7/21/2011 12:07:44 PM

kalikshama

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Infidelity never bothered me as much as the lying did. For example, I knew when my (now ex) husband cheated on me and it made me crazy that he denied it. (When we entered a new phase of consensual non-monogamy he fessed up.)

I find looking normal human behavior and flirting cute.

I would not be in a serious relationship with someone who spent a lot of time cruising online, as that would take away from my time. However, occasional romps in someone else's bed or ethical poly would be fine, as long as my time is respected and I am acknowledged as the alpha female, or perhaps the hub as in the Heather-Hannah-not-quite-a-quad.

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RE: Appropriate Punishment - 7/21/2011 1:58:59 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeElaine99

What do you believe the appropriate punishment for a submissives man's infidelity would be?

kick him to the curb

Then again I believe in fidelity and long term relationships.

I don't stand for cheating from anyone at all and they're a waste of my time to be with.

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Post #: 42

RE: Appropriate Punishment - 7/21/2011 2:09:45 PM

LadyRedRose

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i have to go with kick him to the curb. it's not the sex that would bother me so much as the lying that goes along with it. if i can't trust him i will never be able to repair that relationship.

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RE: Appropriate Punishment - 7/21/2011 2:11:53 PM

PeonForHer

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Infidelity never bothered me as much as the lying did. For example, I knew when my (now ex) husband cheated on me and it made me crazy that he denied it. (When we entered a new phase of consensual non-monogamy he fessed up.)

I'd go utterly batshit if a partner cheated on me and I knew about it. Which was why I gave my ex a stern lecture: if you cheat on me once, don't ever tell me. Not ever. If, on the other hand, you cheat on me regularly with different partners, or if you cheat on me with just one guy but fall in love with him, I will know. At that point, don't try to hide it. I'll see it. It'll destroy me, I'll hate you for it and our relationship won't survive it.

There you go. A policy as neat as spaghetti.

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Post #: 44

RE: Appropriate Punishment - 7/21/2011 2:29:50 PM

LadyConstanze

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Actually, I could totally sort of go with that, if it's a one off, as long as he doesn't bring anything home (feelings, her smell, anything infectious, etc.) and it's done and over, I wouldn't want to know - why would I? In fact I think a lot of the "confessions" are totally unfair on the partner that was cheated upon. The cheater will feel better "I told her, fessed up..." and the person who was cheated upon will be the one dealing with it, mulling it over, wondering if the other one was maybe more attractive, better in bed, more alluring, doubt herself and possibly go out and do the same and feel shit and it will kill the relationship. Sod it, if somebody cheats on their partner they should live with the damned guilt issue on your own, no need to make the partner more miserable with confessions and stuff - that is if it is a one off and it really has no meaning. You were a big boy and fucked somebody else all on your own, now deal with the guilt all on your own and don't burden me with your confession!
I recall proposing those terms, with equal rights and he was shit scared that I might take liberty and decided he rather wants a monogamous relationship.

Over a long time with feelings or even a one off without protection - I would have to ask the question "How much do you want to keep the family jewels? Look, it's a blunt knife..."

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Post #: 45

RE: Appropriate Punishment - 7/21/2011 10:48:24 PM

cloudboy