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Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 12:57:42 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship.  In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 1:01:04 PM   
VvShadowspawnvV


Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		Parenthood... and so the household has to seem like a traditional 1950's style one, rather than the den of iniquity, complete with dungeon and torture chamber, that i sometimes envision.  =/

becca

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 1:06:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Simple lack of time/energy to be together.  Relationships are built on shared experiences and if you're too tired/distracted/busy to make that happen, the relationship as a whole just limps along.

Oh and we solve that by kicking eachother in the ass when we need to take breaks and having regular slots for time together.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 5/18/2006 1:07:23 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 2:14:11 PM   
LokisBrat


Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VvShadowspawnvV

Parenthood... and so the household has to seem like a traditional 1950's style one, rather than the den of iniquity, complete with dungeon and torture chamber, that i sometimes envision.  =/

becca




Same here. It's a daily struggle to balance our D/s relationship with effective parenting that doesn't reveal more than it should.
I look forward to the day when our home is again the two of us with mixed emotions, as any parent does I'm sure.


brat


_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to VvShadowspawnvV)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 2:29:27 PM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship.  In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact?


Have to agree with VvShadowspawnvV, raising kids (young kids in our case) is the biggest reality in our home.  Now I do address Sir as Sir infront of our girls.  Our girls know that their daddy and I discuss everything (and that my opinion is valued by their father) in regards to our family and they know that daddy's descision is final and he would NEVER EVER do anything to put us in jeopardy. 
 
 IMHO, our girls feel that our family dynamic is no different from any other "vanilla" (my words) family dynamic.  Granted as they get older and get into social situations with friends, they will begin to question Sir and I as to how we live.  And Sir and I are teaching our girls that when they are of age, they can make their own choices and be proud of those choices, just as we are proud of ours'.
 
I am afraid I am rambling, so I will stop now........
 
Peace

_____________________________

Peace
His slut


"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 5:55:58 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Going to work is a major distraction, but it's kind of like the water that keeps the boat afloat. I don't require anyone else to work, so it's somewhat of a necessary evil. As much as I can envision it being great being home all the time, it would however cheat me out of those warm welcomes when I get home in the evening. Although I have to admit, I would be willing to take that chance if I had the winning lottery numbers..lol.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 6:28:16 PM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		Conflicting schedules.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 7:44:36 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Biggest hurdle is my teenage daughter who lives with me and my Dom. She is adjusting to a new home, school and new man in our lives. She is 14 which seems to come with it's own huge dramas on a daily basis. Now that it's summer vacation our time will be greatly limited. These are the challenges of life along with me going back to school. We will manage though.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to subrob1967)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 8:33:58 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		My life is constantly evolving, with new problems croppig up all the time.

For a while, I was taking care of my disabled grandfather until he died.  That was a major problem.  Same thing with my grandmother.  I think those were the two biggest hurdles so far.

- Dustyn


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 8:41:41 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship.  In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact?


I think I solved this problem for myself by the mere fact that I don't live in reality. I live in a much happier place with talking ducks, bunnies that hop around carelessly and big puffy marshmellows that bounce across the grass, waving at me as I get into my car to go to work every morning. That, and the medication the nurses give me every night before they strap me into bed, keeps me doing quite well.

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 8:58:17 PM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

Biggest hurdle is my teenage daughter who lives with me and my Dom. She is adjusting to a new home, school and new man in our lives. She is 14 which seems to come with it's own huge dramas on a daily basis. Now that it's summer vacation our time will be greatly limited. These are the challenges of life along with me going back to school. We will manage though.


Shocked, I am.

Littlepita, I've been reading your posts for weeks and months, and for some reason I got the impression that you were 18/19/20 years old.  When I read you had a 14 year old daughter, it was one of those WTF moments.  I guess I had just never went to your profile.

I have to admit, I also think kids are the biggest hurdle, and the biggest joy. 

FHky


_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to Littlepita)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 9:10:10 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		strange.....

I've never considered reality to be a hurdle in anything I do.

In fact reality has everything to do with our dynamics & "keeping it real" is the best piece of advice I could ever offer anyone.

It is those darn unrealistic expectations I see everyone getting so frustrated about.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 9:12:08 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		The exact same hurdles I faced with my vanilla marriage.

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/18/2006 11:19:59 PM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Parents dropping in for an unexpected visit.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/19/2006 6:07:20 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Going to work is a major distraction, but it's kind of like the water that keeps the boat afloat. I don't require anyone else to work, so it's somewhat of a necessary evil. As much as I can envision it being great being home all the time, it would however cheat me out of those warm welcomes when I get home in the evening.


Master if only you could train your secretary to bring you coffee naked on her knees it would not be so bad for you at work. But we would still rather have you at home.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/19/2006 6:30:20 AM   
Hawksgirldove


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/3/2006
Status: offline 		Parent hood, yes i would agre with that one. Many of our rituals have lsipped by the way side when my teenage daughter moved in with us.

Work, and restoring an old house. When we could be using the time to play- we end up working. This week it will be devoted to roofing... not my idea of fun. But it has to be done.

Never enough hours in a day to do all that we need to do, let alone what we want to do. Hell, by the time we get the list of things that HAVE to be done, then head off to bed, to do the thing we enjoy doing..its too late, and we are exhausted!

(in reply to twicehappy)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/19/2006 6:37:23 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		Master's illness - we have to take things on a day by day basis. I serve by taking care of Him but sometimes I have to be in charge when He's not feeling the best, by telling Him He has to eat or he'll go hypo Sometimes He just doesn't feel well enough to play but little things like a hair pull or nipple pinch keep me focussed

We have also recently had my 18 yo daughter staying for a month's holiday, which did curtail our activities to an extent

(in reply to twicehappy)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/19/2006 6:43:36 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

We've heard it said a million times that reality can and does interfere with the dynamics of a D/s or M/s relationship. In terms of your M/s or D/s relationship, what is the biggest "reality" hurdle you've had to face, and how did you overcome it and still keep your Ms/Ds dynamic intact?


Probably our biggest hurdle is my surviving my childhood abuse.

I wish it didn't but it still greatly effects how I trust people, what I expect from people and how I treat people.

Being my husband or slave or submissive is no joy ride. It can be a amazing, fulfilling, frustrating, tiring, intense, never dull, and yet very stable. It is not for the weak or the passive.

Fox and I maintain it via rituals and rules that we live every day. We set things up knowing I have this past and knowing it was going to be work.

Frankly he's a survivor too and it is also another big hurdle for us.

After a few months now of dealing more intensely with his past, I'd decided on a new limit for when I look to expand my household again: no abuse suvivors or victims period. Our stuff is enough to deal with thank you very much.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/19/2006 7:02:21 AM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline 		My partner's jealousy can sometimes be a hurdle. Also work, illness and kids.

NINA

_____________________________

My stiletto boots fit like gloves around his wrists.. as I locked them on I knew we were a match!

(in reply to Evanesce)
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RE: Reality Hurdles - 5/19/2006 7:11:21 AM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline 		TammyJo,

I always enjoy reading the posts about you and Your Fox.  I am sorry that you both have had to encounter child abuse.  The thought that anyone would hurt an innocent and precious child, makes my skin curl and puts me into true sadist mode.

Though this type of robbed innocence is difficult to overcome, I want to personally thank you for being thoughtful enough to share it. You are helping others who have had similiar experiences, and I admire you for your honesty.

Nina



_____________________________

My stiletto boots fit like gloves around his wrists.. as I locked them on I knew we were a match!

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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