LinnaeaBorealis
Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008 From: Insanity & beyond Status: offline
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~FR~ I loved speed. And I always used pharmaceutical speed, taken in pill form. I would take speed to stay awake & have energy, then take Nembutol, also pharmaceutical, when I wanted to sleep. I thought that I had fooled at least my parents, because I really wasn't around them much. But the last time I used, I went to their house for Thanksgiving & decided to not use while I was there. I pretty much slept the whole time & then when I tried to take a pill before I left to drive home, my mom walked in on me. After I got clean & sober, we were talking one day & she told me it had been quite obvious to her what I'd been doing. Although she could have just been saying that to make me think she was omnipotent mom. The only reason that a spouse doesn't know what's going on in a case like this is because said spouse is in denial for whatever reasons. The families of addicts can get as sick or sicker than the addict. That's why there are programs to help them. I agree that this woman could use some confrontation, but it needs to be done with love & caring. She needs help with the problems that she developed from living with her addict husband. When I got sober, my Aunt who married my alcoholic Uncle asked me what had caused me to get sober. She was looking for some sort of magic that she could use to get my Uncle sober too. After talking with her for awhile, I suggested Al-Anon for her. She told me flat out that she didn't want to go there because they wanted her to make changes & she wasn't ready to do that. So I told her that as long as she had that attitude, she wasn't allowed to bitch about my Uncle's drinking to me anymore. She agreed & she's never gone to Al-Anon & she's never broken that agreement with me. The funny thing is, she has probably tried every self-help program available, read all the books, tried religion, everything *but* Al-Anon. Your friend needs help with her own issues. My heart goes out to her, because I know how much she's suffering. I hope that you are a close enough friend to confront her with love & help her to see that need. I wish you well.
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Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That's how the light gets in ~~L. Cohen Just one of the yahoo's
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