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RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 1:38:09 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
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It has been nearly 6 months since my last orgasm and I find sex completely satisfying without orgasms now, in fact I find life satisfying without orgasms. Previously I had an extremely high sex drive - I've never had sex and not orgasmed, or gone a day without masturbating since I was a young teenager. When my Owner first told me I would never masturbate again, I was horrified and really struggled to come to terms with giving up that power to him. When he started instructing me not to orgasm during sex it was really hard for me, I naturally just moved towards orgasm every time and had to hold myself back. Now that it is a permanent reality I find that I like the feeling of unrelieved arousal, and I love being used for my Owner's pleasure. There is something very special about holding your partner's body as he approaches orgasm, and feeling that tension exploding out of them, totally focussed on him and his sensations, rather than lost in my own orgasm. I feel closer to him as a result, and we are stronger as a D/s couple because our power exchange is strengthened through sex, rather than him feeling that he must serve me sexually, or that he is being judged on his performance - it is all about him and his enjoyment, rather than anything else.

What has really surprised me is how much I still enjoy sex, although in a very different, more submissive way, and how much I crave sexual attention from him. I suppose it is an enjoyable side effect of my sexual tension.

Great to see other M/f couples enjoying orgasm denial, I think it is becoming much more popular these days.

owned xxx

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 21

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 1:59:52 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

...a vanilla friend and I were just having a conversation about this last night. She said she often doesn't orgasm from sex but that it's still fulfilling to her. She went on to say that her boyfriend has a conniption fit over it. I told her if she is truly content w/o orgasming, maybe he's having a conniption fit because he can't control that part of her and that pisses him off.

Totally agree with this. It's really a big control issue for many men and if the woman removes that control from them, a lot of them react badly to it. When talking to other Doms about my denial, initially many are delighted at the idea that I never orgasm, thinking that I hate it and am desperate to cum. When I tell them that I like it and that it doesn't bother me, many get quite irritated and say that if I was their submissive they would resort to forced orgasms. I often advise subbie friends - if you want to do denial, tell them you want lots of orgasms, but if you want to orgasm lots, tell them you don't want any!

owned xxx

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 22

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 6:51:10 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
they were never that important to me to begin with ever in my life so if he doesn't allow me to for a certain amount of time then I'm ok with that.

Kana wants the world to read and remember, because these are words that will be regretted.

People should really, really think before they write.
(Chortles and chortles and chortles)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 23

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 7:37:30 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
they were never that important to me to begin with ever in my life so if he doesn't allow me to for a certain amount of time then I'm ok with that.

Kana wants the world to read and remember, because these are words that will be regretted.

People should really, really think before they write.
(Chortles and chortles and chortles)

really needs to think twice before she ever posts anything on here. hrmph

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 24

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 9:17:16 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

For me, intercourse is for orgasms - and my sweetie is VERY good about giving them to me. I had a marriage with sex without orgasms, and it SUCKED!!!!! Sex became masturbation for him , using my body. Feelings of resentment and boredom resounded.

Definitely a tension release, and relaxation issue for me. Love the afterglow and the feelings of love and respect i feel, when we are done.

As for masturbation? - i'm all about it, and indulge at least twice a week - and my sweetie is just fine with that.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 25

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 12:40:41 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

kiwisub, I'm glad to hear you say that.

I was beginning to think I am weird.

I guess I've been lucky enough to have had a husband and Doms that enjoyed me orgasming. There have been times, of course, where I was denied orgasming, but I can't imagine having to become "content" without them.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 26

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 1:22:44 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Asherscorp1
If this isn't your experience what have you been surprised to find rewarding in your own lifestyle?

Uh... both Carol and I would fall down laughing at this question then respond... "The whole fucking thing" ~laughs~

Neither of us EVER envisioned any path like this at all. Our entire journey through WIITWD has been squarely in the "whodathunkit?" category.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 27

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 1:24:36 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
I do.........and I also blame it for my lack of give a damn about the lack of give a damn.

LOLOL - yeah me. I think when I was younger I would not have been content with sex sans orgasm. More recently I find that's not the goal and I don't care.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 28

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 7:12:44 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I guess I must be different than everyone who has replied.

I am not at all content without having an orgasm if I am having sex with someone.

I must be a bad submissive or have just been lucky that my partners were thrilled when I had them.

If someone (and I have met one or two in my life) said, no orgasms because you are submissive, then that someone heard me laugh as I shut the door on them.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 29

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 7:21:08 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Oh hell no I am with you sexyred. I need and want and must have orgasms to have contentment. Period. It's that simple. Luckily I have a man that agrees.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 30

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/30/2011 10:07:12 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am no believer in chastity or orgasm denial--though orgasm control, that's another thing.

Honestly, I do blame the menopause. Celibacy is a conscious choice for me, but the absolute lack of interest? New one. And cool, all things considered.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 31

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/31/2011 5:02:27 PM

experiment2

Posts: 208
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline

one of the problems i encountered was awonderful Domme, but once she found i had some staying power, would not allow me to orgasm at all. if i would have been satisfied to just have an orgasm without any pleasure, such as ejaculating and ending stimulation once it began i might have been able to hold off. i became so frustrated and convinced She would never let me release, keeping me in a chastity cage for 56 days, i failed and gave in to my needs during a shower. up to that point i was satisfied and happy to obey her wishes. but i failed.

i don't know how some can be content without orgasms for such a long period. i suppose all of us are different.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 32

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/31/2011 5:19:27 PM

JWriter

Posts: 67
Joined: 7/27/2011
Status: offline

I know what you mean, about sex being satisfying, without orgasms. However, in my experience, that is the norm, so when people start asking me about orgasm denial, it is a big turn off to me. For me to have one, there has to be a serious emotional connection, and, as such, I only had one, once, with one man - and, that was not even during a sexual situation. So, orgasm denial means nothing to me. It's like making an effort to get Congress to raise its pay: it's just going to happen, anyway.

You are a very lucky woman, to have experienced both sides of the coin, and, enjoyed them both.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

Post #: 33

RE: Content without orgasms - 7/31/2011 9:53:45 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

once.

ok, that just fucking explains everything.

you poor, poor, fucker. it really does suck to be you.

_____________________________

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fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to JWriter)

Post #: 34

RE: Content without orgasms - 8/1/2011 10:42:56 AM

kuppykake

Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

I'm content in my relationship with my Master. Then again, it is the only relationship i've had, and I therefore cannot compare it to any previous experiences. As for orgasms, Master doesn't deny them, and if he tried it would be with much difficulty because I am very sexually sensitive. Sex comes in phases for us. I've gone a couple of weeks without it, and I'm fine with that...I know I'll get some eventually, and even if I don't he will :)

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 35

RE: Content without orgasms - 8/1/2011 11:03:23 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

I am content without orgasms when I am alone. I get too damn lazy to get me stoned and seduce me, so, other than the 2 minute "oh hell I must be fixin to get a visit from Auntie Flo" orgasm, I don't think about it much.

When I am with someone, I am flat out a cum slut. I love orgasm control and such, but if I go too long without, it shuts down that part of me. In a relationship, I can feel like one huge, throbbing clit for weeks on end.

Damn, that almost made me wanna go do me.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to kuppykake)

Post #: 36

RE: Content without orgasms - 8/1/2011 3:34:40 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
Status: offline

I don't think I could be happy in a relationship devoid of orgasms. Orgasms, for me, are a way to experience intimacy with my partner...no one but my dom gets to see me and feel me as a writhe in the agony of an awesome orgasm that he caused and permitted. When I orgasm, for a fleeting moment, I feel totally vulnerable and open and I like feeling that with another human being. I wouldn't want to be with someone who denied me that, even knowing how intimate it allows me to feel. I want a dominant man, not a self-centered one. Not that an orgasm-less existence is a bad thing; I'm sure its great if both parties get pleasure from it.

That being said, we do practice orgasm control. I don't get to masturbate very often, and can live with that. After all, it's the intimate orgasms, with him, that I truly crave.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 37

RE: Content without orgasms - 8/1/2011 9:22:27 PM

freebounds

Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Hi littlekitten1,

Painful sex is NOT normal. See a gynecologist.

Confusion over orgasms at your age is very common. I thought I was frigid back then... and I was, but that was because my husband was too mean for me to connect any pleasure with him. It was later, when a new man was so kind and gentle with me that I discovered just how sexual I was.

My point is...you are too young to decide what you are in terms of sexuality. See the doctor and talk about these things. Orgasms are worth having.

free

(in reply to littlekitten1)

Post #: 38

RE: Content without orgasms - 8/1/2011 9:54:28 PM

freebounds

Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Hi Ashercorp1,

Wow, okay, I am someone who has not experienced what you describe. So, I'll address your question, "What have I been surprised to find rewarding in my new lifestyle?"

On the third day I was in contact with my Dom, I gave him my phone number. During that first phone call, I had 6 orgasms, no hands allowed, just his voice. My previous record had been 3, but there was touching involved. I could not believe what he was doing to me. I kind of kept shaking until the next day when he called again, this time, 8 orgasms. I was screaming for him to come inside me... knowing he is 1200 miles away. He has me reacting to his name with an immediate edge of cumming state.

I was so overwhelmed by this, I went to the chat room here to ask if this was normal. I'm a newbie and didn't know the particulars about orgasm control. I wondered should I be worried. The experienced women more or less laughed and told me I was lucky.

That feeling of "intercourse is good" so long as it pleases him... think about that. Having an orgasm in response to his touch, or in my case, to his will, is hot for him. I am surrendering to him. I am letting go to the pleasure of his touch. Men get upset when women don't climax because they think the woman is maintaining control and withholding to the point where no sexual union may occur. Well, no deep one.

Finally, the brain releases chemicals when we climax. We need those chemicals. So, everyone who is "content" please google the effects of orgasms on health - both mental and physical. It's not supposed to be a choice to reject.

In the spirit of sisterhood,
and with thanks for your candor,
free

(in reply to Asherscorp1)

Post #: 39

RE: Content without orgasms - 8/18/2011 12:58:07 AM

Emmasubgirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

I find the orgasm thing can be devisive. Before I realised I was sub I wanted an equal number of orgasms, in the same way that my male partner bloody make sure he did half the housework etc etc. When I realised I was happier being sub I found that orgasms were not that important and my current bf comes a lot more than I do. However, I do feel bad now about masturbating as I feel that is sorta cheating on him.

This is different to me not feeling sexual feelings. I am horny a LOT of the time, but I dont masturbate myself and I'm cool with not cuming during sex.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 40

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