RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery

RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (Full Version)

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SuzeCheri -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 10:46:01 AM)
littlekitten1, I wouldn't really consider what you describe as an online relationship, because you do meet whenever you can. What you have makes me think of an 18th or 19th century soldier or sailor's wife. Exchanging love letters to keep the feelings alive during the long spaces of time between those all too brief home leaves. It's terribly sad, but also terribly romantic. <<Hugs>> To me an online relationship would be one where there is no attempt or intention of actually meeting, where the online bit is the whole of it. From the little I understand about the sort of stuff you BDSMers do, I get the impression that online could work better in a BDSM relationship than in an everyday vanilla one. I hope you can make the move soon, and that you get to enjoy each other face to face for a long time.

LadyPact -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 10:54:52 AM)
I think it's kind of funny that a lot of folks have included the word "relationship" in their answers. That word doesn't appear in the original post at all. It's part of the fantasy that gets sold. It's one of the very reasons that pros get their clients to keep coming back. The client thinks about the pro during the periods between sessions. Maybe every day all day. On the other hand, the pro might give the client a fleeting thiought once in a while, but doesn't really consider him as part of her 'world'. Yes, some might be nicer than others and they might enjoy their sessions with them, but they aren't terribly concerned about them except for the bottom line. So, on one side of the screen, you have somebody who has far more interest than the other person does. That's where the 'relationship' test fails other than professional and client.

SuzeCheri -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 11:00:01 AM)
I thought about that, but I'm really not the person to say anything about "slavery" this way or that. I have to frame stuff in a context I understand.

leadership527 -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 11:00:41 AM)
... not in my life and not in my "online relationships".... just not any of that. When I think of my [ex] online slave, I think of a real woman who had real needs and concerns which I really tried to help with. In addition, we both really enjoyed each other's online company. Trust me, my skin was in the game... as was hers. But, as DarkSteven suggested, there is a limit to how much skin CAN be put in the game when it's online only.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 11:48:11 AM)
when i think of "online only" i think of an interaction that's intended to remain totally online. no mutual attempts or even desire to meet in person. if a lot of your interaction is online as part of an LDR, or some other form of separation, that's different, because you're either in an otherwise in-person relationship, or you're working towards it. to me, online-only isn't something i'm interested in. but i met my former Person on a totally vanilla networking site, so i have no qualms with starting out online with someone as long as the intention is to move to real-time fairly soon. but to me, online-only lacks a good chunk of what's important to me; i.e. physical company. someone to do things with and have as part of a physical life.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 12:47:30 PM)
So many hours , bored kev

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 1:42:01 PM)
For me, personally: Physical 24/7 Slavery - Complete slavery/relationship... BLISS!!! 50%+ Physical (Approx. 4 Days per week) - Online merely to communicate when apart. 24/7 planned. 30% - 50% Physical (Approx. 2 or 3 Days per week) - Online compliments physical. 24/7 planned. 10% - 20% Physical (Approx 1 Day per week) - Online compliments physical, due to circumstances. 24/7 goal. < 10% Physical - Online is primary relationship. Dead without ASSURANCE of greater future physical contact. 0% Physical / Online Only - Complete fucking waste of time... would NEVER... EVER even consider it!!!

OwnedFemaleFlesh -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 1:54:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh Some people get very defensive about online not being real, or it being pathetic, or it not being proper D/s. I think the reason for this is that they are looking for a real life relationship (nothing wrong with that) and are frustrated that so many people are looking for and enjoy online relationships. Each to their own! owned xxx It has to do with lacking tangible proof. In God we trust. Everybody else requires evidence. It always amuses me how, when somebody agrees with a position, no more discussion is required. But when somebody's experience is different, when they enjoy something others do not, or when they differ from the norm, people will instantly enquire 'But where is the proof?!' Enjoyment is a subjective experience, what proof could possibly be sought, or given? People say they enjoy it, I myself have enjoyed it. How can this require proof? Or, why should it require more proof than the statement that 'Real life BDSM is enjoyable'. Both are subjective positions, specific to the people who make them. At the end of the day, all that can be said with questions like this is 'I enjoyed it' or 'I did not enjoy it.' Clearly you do not enjoy it, but that does not invalidate the statements of those who say that they do. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I've been doing this way too long to waste the time to coddle somebody who doesn't have the balls to go to a munch or be able to be in the same physical proximity as other kinky folks. When people are still afraid to make the first step into reality, it's something they haven't conquered yet and it's a weakness on their part. This is usually the part where folks chime in on their social phobias and/or the mental, physical, or financial limitations that they have at this time. Sorry, but a lot of folks who have the same challenges don't let those obstacles stop them. I find it interesting that you assume that online relationship = unable / unwilling to go to munches or be around kinky people. I have been in the scene for 10 years, I have been to many munches and many of my real-life friends are into BDSM. The men I played with online were usually very experienced and active in their local communities. Why do you assume it is either / or? If I meet someone at a play party that I want to play with, then I will play with them. If I talk to somebody online who I want to play with, then I will play with them. It's all part of life's rich palette, and a marvellous expansion of possibility due to technological innovation of the internet. Expanding the possibilities of pleasure, experience and connection with other people is a strength and not a weakness, imo. I reiterate my point that you seem frustrated that people are looking for and enjoy online relationships. But, once again, each to their own. owned xxx

hematitan -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 3:10:47 PM)
Personally, the problem with online relationships is that I'm very hesitant to make a commitment to someone whom I can't be with in person and get to know offline. I've made some friends online whom I like a lot, but talking to them doesn't really keep me from nourishing other relationships or doing what I want with my life. I feel that making a commitment online could interfere with that, without giving me anything worthwhile in return. Of course, it's different if I really care for someone, I suppose. But in that case, I can't see being content to have the relationship be online only indefinitely. I would try to arrange to see them offline, even if we couldn't be together all the time due to distance or something. I don't have any problem with playing around with cybersex and casual online play sometimes, but it's not something I seek out because all my experiences have been really disappointing and lackluster, at best. And it could be the same issue, where if I were to connect really well with someone in this context, I may want to get to know them better and meet offline.

StrikingBeauty -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 3:12:32 PM)
Simply put, if someone tells me they have experience as an online slave or were trained online, I just laugh.

MstrPBK -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 3:19:00 PM)
As far as I can tell ... Online Slavery is a fantasy. The Master can ask anything they want of the slave and the slave can make whatever reasoning they can for not doing it, not following through or simply not fulfilling the request. I do not encourage it, I do not do it (as far as I know0. and I do not approve of it. If you can't be real, you ought not be in the community. MstrPBK St. Paul, MN USA

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 4:11:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves Hi. There's such a difference of opinion on if online slavery is real slavery or if it's only real if it's in person..........Do you like online slavery .....or do you only like it in person, and why? The question isn't whether it's real. On-line slavery is "real" slavery, just as phone sex is "real" sex. The relevant question is which best meets your personal needs. To me, face-to-face clearly is a better option than on-line only. On-line only is completely unrewarding to me. But I believe that the intermediate step of on-line until the two people can be together is okay. I've met several people on-line, and then began traveling to see them after we had established that we had good chemistry. The on-line phase was a necessary step until we could be together. But if there were no intention to ever meet in person, then I would view it as a complete waste of my time. There are a variety of reasons why someone would want a situation that remained permanently on-line only. For example, the person might be married or in a serious relationship, and they're only looking for kinky fantasy, but have no intention of actually cheating on their significant other. Others may be too shy, scared, private, or socially awkward to ever make BDSM anything more than an on-line fantasy. So for them, on-line is probably as far as they'll ever take their BDSM activities. But anyone who hopes to form a face-to-face relationship will probably not view on-line only as an option that can adequately meet their needs. I'm sure that those who enjoy on-line slavery would surely admit that on-line is simply an enhanced form of masturbation, just like phone sex is just enhanced masturbation. But masturbation can be enjoyable. So more power to them.

leadership527 -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 4:31:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 There are a variety of reasons why someone would want a situation that remained permanently on-line only. For me: At first, the reason was simply curiosity. I'd never heard of all this stuff before SecondLife and I ran into it there. Being terminally curious about the human condition as a whole, of course I experimented. Later, when things had moved real time for Carol and I and I had no further need to experiment online then my reason was, "Because I happened across a wonderfully genuine woman who was exploring herself and I wanted to help." Neither of us ever thought that the relationship was more than it was. It had a purpose. It served that purpose. We both benefited from it. I'm sure that those who enjoy on-line slavery would surely admit that on-line is simply an enhanced form of masturbation No, I will not so admit. See answers above.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 4:49:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 I'm sure that those who enjoy on-line slavery would surely admit that on-line is simply an enhanced form of masturbation No, I will not so admit. See answers above. Unless I misunderstood your post, I think we're saying the same thing. You and Carol eventually met in real life. So you don't qualify as on-line only. I specifically stated that people who are on-line due to distance, but later meet in real life, are a different category than those who NEVER actually meet in real life. If you never meet in real life, then any sex is masturbation. How can you deny that? (Of course, you could have an on-line relationship that doesn't include sex. That would be excluded from my statement, since there is no sex).

thishereboi -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 4:55:26 PM)
If that is what makes someone happy, then that is great. I don't think they are the same thing however. Being online on CM and talking about what we do is vastly different for me than actually interacting with people in real life. To me saying they are the same is like saying playing a driving game on the computer is the same as driving a real car.

NuevaVida -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 4:57:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 I'm sure that those who enjoy on-line slavery would surely admit that on-line is simply an enhanced form of masturbation, just like phone sex is just enhanced masturbation. That wasn't my experience way back when, when I was online only (see previous post by me). Sure there was some phone sex, but the majority of our exchange wasn't that at all. We talked about everything. He shipped me books and music, and gave me templates to use for designing employee programs at work, and we talked about his life, his job, and the theater, which held his interest. We spent hours and hours on the phone together when his mother died, and even after the "D/s" part ended with us, we remained friends for years, having never met. In fact, just over 2 years ago, he sent me tickets to see the symphony in San Francisco. When my laptop died, he shipped me one of his backups to get me by until I could replace mine. He's a connection on my LinkedIn for professional networking. He's been in and out of my life for 12 years and we've never met. But I'll tell you, there's plenty more than "enhanced masturbation" there. And even though I'd never do an online-only relationship again, no one will ever convince me that the interaction between that man and I wasn't "real". If online only doesn't do it for you then it doesn't do it for you. But to insult or minimize someone else for it is really something I can't wrap my mind around. What's the point of that, if not some form of mental masturbation?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 5:43:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida If online only doesn't do it for you then it doesn't do it for you. But to insult or minimize someone else for it is really something I can't wrap my mind around. What's the point of that, if not some form of mental masturbation? Sigh. No need to be so sensitive. Read my comment to leadership. I was talking about any sexual aspect of an on-line relationship, that is why I used phone sex as the analogous example.. If you are having sex with someone who isn't physically there, isn't that by definition "masturbation"? If you talked about books, or shared stories about how your day went, that's no different than having a pen pal. It is valid communication. I wasn't referring to those things. Many people view the sexual aspects of BDSM to be a key component of it. Yet, that component is severely limited in on-line only (IMO). But you can certainly have conversations on-line. I didn't mean to imply that you can't. (Didn't I mention that I've done on-line before? That should indicate that I think there are merits to it). BTW, didn't you read the part of my original post where I said it was all a matter of personal preference? Having said that, if on-line only is your personal preference, then more power to you. I have no intention of insulting anyone. If you read my post in it's entirety, I don't think you'll find it to be offensive. I'm just sharing my opinion. Don't take it as anything more than that.

leadership527 -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 6:04:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 Unless I misunderstood your post, I think we're saying the same thing. No, you're misunderstanding. I wasn't referring to Carol. She and I met out in the meat world at a business party long before I knew about any of this. If you never meet in real life, then any sex is masturbation. How can you deny that? (Of course, you could have an on-line relationship that doesn't include sex. That would be excluded from my statement, since there is no sex). Exactly. It wasn't about sex. It was about helping another person. It was a "hands on demonstration of what it means to submit" -- at least insofar as such a thing can go online. But it had nothing to do with masturbation. I think you might call it a training arrangement although we definitely developed deep feelings for each other (As I knew would happen since the D/s strings connect to the love strings in me). It was "real enough" that I cried for a few days when it ended even though I knew it had to and I wasn't displeased with the timing of it. For some of us, this is not about sexual domination and submission. I can see that if it were, then it would be pretty hollow in an online only sense.

Nikiii -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 6:17:40 PM)
I beileve That online slavery should just be for really getting to know a mistress/master. I right now am doing online but hoefully will get to meet my Mistress in a year or two. You never know who is actually talking to you so you might be with some phsyco killer! I like to get to know the person first online.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Real Life vs Online Slavery (7/30/2011 6:23:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nikiii I beileve That online slavery should just be for really getting to know a mistress/master. I right now am doing online but hoefully will get to meet my Mistress in a year or two. You never know who is actually talking to you so you might be with some phsyco killer! I like to get to know the person first online. Was that a Freudian slip? laughs snorts laughs I gotta say though...I couldn't hold out for "a year or two". Gee, that is way too long! Life is short!!

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